History Funny / PersonOfInterest

20th Feb '16 10:12:11 PM MasterofGalaxies4628
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-->'''Shaw:''' You leaked our location to Vigilance!?\\

to:

-->'''Shaw:''' You leaked our location to Vigilance!?\\Vigilance!?



-->'''Fusco:''' Last I checked, I was in Homicide. This here looks like a body. What's Narcotics doing here, ''Detective?''
-->'''Reese:''' Felix here was an affiliate of a street gang taking over the heroin trade.
-->'''Fusco:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Yeah, well, now he's ''un''affiliated.]]

to:

-->'''Fusco:''' Last I checked, I was in Homicide. This here looks like a body. What's Narcotics doing here, ''Detective?''
-->'''Reese:'''
''Detective?''\\
'''Reese:'''
Felix here was an affiliate of a street gang taking over the heroin trade.
-->'''Fusco:'''
trade.\\
'''Fusco:'''
[[DeadpanSnarker Yeah, well, now he's ''un''affiliated.he's]] ''[[DeadpanSnarker un]]''[[DeadpanSnarker affiliated.]]



--> "[[GangstaStyle You really shouldn't hold the gun like that.]] Can't aim straight. It'll eject the cartridge right into your... oh, forget it." ''(WHAM)''

to:

--> "[[GangstaStyle You really shouldn't hold the gun like that.]] Can't aim straight. It'll You can't aim, and they'll eject the cartridge a shell casing right into your... oh, forget it." ''(WHAM)''



-->'''Reese:''' Damn it, Harold, [[ChronicHeroSyndrome it is still my job to save people]].
-->'''Finch:''' Don't let your frustration with me affect your judgment.
-->'''[[CaptainObvious Shaw]]:''' He's gonna let his frustration with you affect his judgment.

to:

-->'''Reese:''' Damn it, Harold, [[ChronicHeroSyndrome it is still my job to save people]].
-->'''Finch:'''
people]].\\
'''Finch:'''
Don't let your frustration with me affect your judgment.
-->'''[[CaptainObvious
judgment.\\
'''[[CaptainObvious
Shaw]]:''' He's gonna let his frustration with you affect his judgment.



--> '''Finch''': Are you feeling a little exposed, having an anti-tank missile in our possession in the middle of Manhattan, or is it just me?
--> '''Root''': Samaritan won't be looking for a college professor with an [=AT4=].

to:

--> '''Finch''': '''Finch:''' Are you feeling a little exposed, having an anti-tank missile in our possession in the middle of Manhattan, or is it just me?
--> '''Root''':
me?\\
'''Root:'''
Samaritan won't be looking for a college professor with an [=AT4=].



** Shaw calls Mini [[spoiler:aka Dominic]] "Supersize" after she confronts him inside the ambulance.

to:

** Shaw calls Mini [[spoiler:aka Dominic]] ([[spoiler:Dominic]]) "Supersize" after she confronts him inside the ambulance.



-->'''Ingram''': Teaching it word problems? ''[leans in and grins]'' Is our little project gonna catch terrorists or kick ass at 5th-grade math?\\
'''Finch''': Both, eventually.

to:

-->'''Ingram''': -->'''Ingram:''' Teaching it word problems? ''[leans in and grins]'' Is our little project gonna catch terrorists or kick ass at 5th-grade math?\\
'''Finch''': '''Finch:''' Both, eventually.



'''Dang:''' It's-\\

to:

'''Dang:''' '''Walter:''' It's-\\



'''Dang:''' It's just a scratch.\\
'''Reese:''' *Gets a pained look on his face.*

to:

'''Dang:''' '''Walter:''' It's just a scratch.\\
'''Reese:''' *Gets ''[Reese gets a pained look on his face.*]''



** Essentially every single one of Shaw's comments about the guy being attractive falls into this.

to:

** Essentially every single one of Shaw's comments about the guy number being attractive falls into this.



-->'''Tomas''': You, me, Barcelona, job worth 1.6 mil, you sure you won't come?\\

to:

-->'''Tomas''': You, me, Barcelona, job score worth 1.6 mil, you sure you won't come?\\



-->'''Finch''': That woman is not DEA. \\
'''Fusco''': Gee, ya think?!

to:

-->'''Finch''': -->'''Finch:''' That woman is not DEA. \\
'''Fusco''': '''Fusco:''' Gee, ya think?!



** The hilarious MexicanStandoff in the church. Lambert and Root are sitting in the pews with the latter pointing a gun at his back. Martine pops up pointing a handgun at Root. Then John materializes, aiming a sniper rifle at Martine. Then there's the conversation they have as this all unfolds, with CasualDangerDialogue abounding and Lambert putting on a WickedCultured act. Comedy gold:
-->'''Lambert''': Don't you find it a tad sacrilegious to hold a man at gunpoint inside of a church?
-->'''Root''': I'm not the religious type.
-->'''Lambert''': And yet you believe in a monotheistic universe. No room for more than one god in your world. Isn't that religion? Or do I misunderstand you, Ms. Groves?
-->'''Root''': My name is Root.''[click of a hammer being pulled back as Martine slides behind Root]''
-->'''Lambert''': Martine is quite the go-getter.
-->'''Root''': I'm aware. She's trying to "go-get" and kill my friend.
-->'''Rousseau''': Shaw's making it hard for me. How about you tell me where she is and I kill you together.''[sound of bolt being pulled back and Reese pops out of a choir box with a sniper rifle]''
-->'''Reese''': I don't think she's going to take you up on that offer.''[Lambert gives an amused smirk as he realizes there are three guns pointed in his vicinity]''
-->'''Lambert''': Well isn't this the tricky situation.
-->'''Rousseau''': Tricky is one word for it.
** And later as the meeting concludes, Root indulges in some ShipTeasing:

to:

** The hilarious MexicanStandoff in the church. Lambert and Root are sitting in the pews with the latter pointing a gun at his back. Martine pops up pointing a handgun at Root. Then John [[UpToEleven Reese materializes, aiming a sniper rifle at Martine. Martine]]. Then there's the conversation they have as this all unfolds, with CasualDangerDialogue abounding and Lambert putting on a WickedCultured act. Comedy gold:
-->'''Lambert''':
act:
-->'''Lambert:'''
Don't you find it a tad sacrilegious to hold a man at gunpoint inside of a church?
-->'''Root''':
church?\\
'''Root:'''
I'm not the religious type.
-->'''Lambert''':
type.\\
'''Lambert:'''
And yet you believe in a monotheistic universe. No room for more than one god in your world. Isn't that religion? Or do I misunderstand you, Ms. Groves?
-->'''Root''':
Groves?\\
'''Root:''' [[DoNotCallMePaul
My name is Root.Root]]. ''[click of a hammer being pulled back as Martine slides behind Root]''
-->'''Lambert''':
Root]''\\
'''Lambert:'''
Martine is quite the go-getter.
-->'''Root''':
go-getter.\\
'''Root:'''
I'm aware. She's trying to "go-get" and kill my friend.\\
'''Martine''': Shaw's making it hard for me. How about you tell me where she is and I kill you together? ''[sound of bolt being pulled back and Reese pops out of a choir box with a sniper rifle]''\\
'''Reese''': I don't think she's going to take you up on that offer.\\
'''Lambert:''' ''[gives an amused smirk as he realizes there are three guns pointed in his vicinity]'' Well, isn't this the tricky situation.\\
'''Martine:''' Tricky is one word for it.

-->'''Rousseau''': Shaw's making it hard for me. How about you tell me where she is and I kill you together.''[sound of bolt being pulled back and Reese pops out of a choir box with a sniper rifle]''
-->'''Reese''': I don't think she's going to take you up on that offer.''[Lambert gives an amused smirk as he realizes there are three guns pointed in his vicinity]''
-->'''Lambert''': Well isn't this the tricky situation.
-->'''Rousseau''': Tricky is one word for it.
** And later as the meeting concludes, Root indulges in some ShipTeasing:



** [[spoiler:In the third and final simulation,]] the Machine starts running out of time, so it replaces all dialogue with a rough description of what everyone would say.
-->'''Reese:''' ''*holding Samaritan operative at gunpoint*'' Coolly delivered sadistic warning.
-->'''Fusco:''' Self-deprecating inquiry into the time necessary to infiltrate system.
-->'''Root:''' Funny yet insightful retort.
-->'''Finch:''' Mildly agitated declaration of mission completion.
-->'''Finch:''' Gentle exhortation to further action.
** Root's efforts at flirting with Shaw under these circumstances are hilarious.
-->'''Root:''' Overly affectionate greeting.
-->'''Shaw:''' Greeting.
-->'''Root:''' Transparent rationale for conversation.
-->'''Shaw:''' Annoyed attempt to deflect subtext.
-->'''Root:''' Overt come-on.
-->'''Shaw:''' Mildly embarrassed defensiveness bordering on hostility.
-->'''Root:''' Playfully witty sign-off.

to:

** [[spoiler:In While running a simulation [[spoiler:for the third and final simulation,]] strategy it's considering]], the Machine starts running out of low on time, so it [[TropeName replaces all dialogue with a a]] [[BlahBlahBlah rough description of what everyone would say.
-->'''Reese:''' ''*holding
say]]:
-->'''The Machine:''' [[AC:Simplifying Simulation...]]\\
'''Reese:''' ''[holding
Samaritan operative at gunpoint*'' gunpoint]'' Coolly delivered sadistic warning.
-->'''Fusco:'''
warning.\\
'''Fusco:'''
Self-deprecating inquiry into the time necessary to infiltrate system.
-->'''Root:'''
system.\\
'''Root:'''
Funny yet insightful retort.
-->'''Finch:'''
retort.\\
'''Finch:'''
Mildly agitated declaration of mission completion.
-->'''Finch:'''
completion.\\
'''The Machine:''' [[AC:Secondary Objective: Complete]]\\
'''Finch:'''
Gentle exhortation to further action.
** Root's efforts at flirting with Shaw under these circumstances are hilarious.
hilarious:
-->'''Root:''' Overly affectionate greeting.
-->'''Shaw:''' Greeting.
-->'''Root:'''
greeting.\\
'''Shaw:''' Greeting.\\
'''Root:'''
Transparent rationale for conversation.
-->'''Shaw:'''
conversation.\\
'''Shaw:'''
Annoyed attempt to deflect subtext.
-->'''Root:'''
subtext.\\
'''Root:'''
Overt come-on.
-->'''Shaw:'''
come-on.\\
'''Shaw:'''
Mildly embarrassed defensiveness bordering on hostility.
-->'''Root:'''
hostility.\\
'''Root:'''
Playfully witty sign-off.



-->'''Root:''' Why did you just do that?
-->'''Fusco:''' Why not? [[spoiler:We're in a simulation.]]
-->'''Root:''' *shrugs*

to:

-->'''Root:''' Why did you just do that?
-->'''Fusco:'''
that?\\
'''Fusco:''' [[LampshadeHanging
Why not? not?]] [[spoiler:We're in a simulation.]]
-->'''Root:''' *shrugs*
]]\\
''[Root shrugs]''



* "Control Alt Delete"

to:

* "Control Alt Delete""Control-Alt-Delete"



-->'''Brooks''': This must be your dream come true, Grice. Investigating someone ''before'' we put a bullet in their head?\\
'''Grice''': ''[completely monotone]'' Yep, just like the old days. I've never been happier.

to:

-->'''Brooks''': -->'''Brooks:''' This must be your dream come true, Grice. Investigating someone ''before'' we put a bullet in their head?\\
'''Grice''': '''Grice:''' ''[completely monotone]'' Yep, just like the old days. I've never been happier.



-->'''Brooks''': Hate to cut you off, Yasin... ''[fires a shot and watches him run]'' At the risk of repeating myself... ''[fires another shot to make him turn and flee inside a nearby building]'' Glad we had this talk.
** Fusco's response to Finch's blatant {{Expospeak}}.

to:

-->'''Brooks''': -->'''Brooks:''' Hate to cut you off, Yasin... ''[fires a shot and watches him run]'' At the risk of repeating myself... ''[fires another shot to make him turn and flee inside a nearby building]'' Glad we had this talk.
** There's something cartoonishly amusing about how the relevant number [[DestinationDefenestration throws himself out a window]] to escape Grice and falls into a box of packing peanuts that shatters and spills everywhere.
** Fusco's response to Finch's blatant {{Expospeak}}.{{Expospeak}}:



-->'''Fusco:''' Another thing: the Red Wings suck.\\
'''Finch:''' You realize he's not from Detroit.\\
'''Fusco:''' Still had to be said.

to:

-->'''Fusco:''' Another [[TakeThat And another thing: the Red Wings suck.suck]].\\
'''Finch:''' [[LampshadeHanging You realize he's not from Detroit.Detroit]].\\
'''Fusco:''' Still It still had to be said.



** The town of Maple is "the biggest little manufacturing hub in Upstate".
--->'''Reese''': " Town could use a better tagline. "

to:

** The town of Maple is "the "[[OverlyNarrowSuperlative the biggest little manufacturing hub in Upstate".
--->'''Reese''': "
Upstate]]".
-->'''Root:'''
Town could use a better tagline. "tagline.



** Finch's attempt to get out of jury duty.
-->'''Finch:''' No, I can't think of anything that would prejudice me in this case. I mean, except for the larger issues with our government.
-->'''Prosecutor:''' "Issues?"
-->'''Finch:''' Well, one can't really call it "government of the people, by the people", can one? *{{Beat}}* [[SarcasticConfession Because we're all being watched by an intelligent supercomputer that's slowly but surely taking over the world.]]
** The Machine gets him back in by making one of the juror's phone's go off and getting him held in contempt. For some reason it also changes his ringtone to "Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer.
** While prepping Finch to swing the jury to a guilty verdict, Finch brings up the cell records.
-->'''Finch:''' The cell records clearly place Chad near the house when it happened.
-->'''Reese:''' So? I hear that can be faked. I got a friend who can do it.
-->'''Finch:''' Now, that's just cheating.

to:

** Finch's attempt to get out of jury duty.
duty:
-->'''Finch:''' No, I can't think of anything that would prejudice me in this case. I mean, except for the larger issues with our government. \n-->'''Prosecutor:''' "Issues?" \n-->'''Finch:''' \\
'''Prosecutor:''' "Issues?"\\
'''Finch:'''
Well, one can't really call it "government of the people, by the people", can one? *{{Beat}}* ''[{{beat}}]'' [[SarcasticConfession Because we're all being watched by an intelligent supercomputer that's slowly but surely taking over the world.]]
world]].
** The Machine gets him back in by making one of the juror's phone's go off and getting him held in contempt. For some reason reason, it also changes takes the time to change his ringtone to MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer.This".
** While prepping Finch to swing the jury to a guilty verdict, Finch brings up the cell records.
records:
-->'''Finch:''' The cell records clearly place Chad near the house when it happened.
-->'''Reese:'''
happened.\\
'''Reese:'''
So? I hear that can be faked. I got a friend who can do it.
-->'''Finch:'''
it.\\
'''Finch:'''
Now, that's just cheating.



-->'''Fusco''': [[CallingYourAttacks Right hook, left cross!]]
-->'''Anna''': Nice body shot. Cross could use some work.
-->'''Fusco''': Stand him up; I'll go again.

to:

-->'''Fusco''': [[CallingYourAttacks Right hook, left cross!]]
-->'''Anna''':
cross!]]\\
'''Anna''':
Nice body shot. Cross could use some work.
-->'''Fusco''':
work.\\
'''Fusco''':
Stand him up; I'll go again.



** John is tailing the latest number to a college dormitory when two college girls returning from the showers pointedly eyeball him. The subsequent camera angle hilariously shows how creepy this middle aged grown ass man with a trenchcoat and a camera phone looks slinking around the dorm rooms, voyeuristically peeking around corners.
-->'''John:''' ''[muted surprise]'' Oh. This is the women's floor.
** [[TheStoner Trey]] awkwardly making conversation while Dominic's enforcer Floyd holds him at gunpoint.

to:

** John Reese is tailing the latest number to a college dormitory when two college girls returning from the showers pointedly eyeball him. The subsequent camera angle hilariously shows how creepy this middle aged grown ass grown-ass man with a trenchcoat and a camera phone looks slinking around the dorm rooms, voyeuristically peeking around corners.
-->'''John:''' -->'''Reese:''' ''[muted surprise]'' Oh. This is the women's floor.
** [[TheStoner Trey]] awkwardly making conversation while Dominic's enforcer Floyd holds him at gunpoint.gunpoint:



-->'''Finch:''' As near as I can tell, college has become an overpriced bacchanalia full of entitled, oversexed binge drinkers.
-->'''Reese:''' Well, ''someone'' [[BaitAndSwitchComparison has to pay your salary.]]
** The implication that straight laced Mr Finch has smoked pot and is well versed in acquiring it.
-->'''Reese:''' Finch, how do you know so much about marijuana?
-->'''Finch:''' Do you want me to call it in or not, Mr. Reese?
*** Though when you remember that Finch does have some serious back problems and in a constant state of pain it does lose some of it.

to:

-->'''Finch:''' As near as I can tell, college has become an overpriced bacchanalia full of entitled, oversexed binge drinkers.
-->'''Reese:'''
drinkers.\\
'''Reese:'''
Well, ''someone'' [[BaitAndSwitchComparison has to pay your salary.]]
** The implication that straight laced Mr Mr. Finch has smoked pot and is well versed in acquiring it.
it. Though {{justified|Trope}} when you remember that Finch does have some serious back problems and would have probably sought relief of some kind at some point, it's still pretty funny.
-->'''Reese:''' Finch, how do you know so much about marijuana?
-->'''Finch:'''
marijuana?\\
'''Finch:'''
Do you want me to call it in or not, Mr. Reese?
*** Though when you remember that Finch does have some serious back problems and in a constant state of pain it does lose some of it.
Reese?



-->'''Fusco:''' Hey, glasses, tell [the psychiatrist [=PoI=]] about all your nut ball friends. Maybe he can give you guys a group therapy discount.
-->'''Reese:''' I think by now, you count as one of Harold's nut ball friends, Lionel.

to:

-->'''Fusco:''' Hey, glasses, Glasses, tell [the psychiatrist [=PoI=]] about all your nut ball friends. Maybe he can give you guys a group therapy discount.
-->'''Reese:'''
discount.\\
'''Reese:'''
I think by now, you count as one of Harold's nut ball friends, Lionel.



-->'''Iris''': [[spoiler:I have feelings for you, John.]]
-->'''Reese''': Oh.
-->'''Iris''': [[spoiler: Which is inappropriate. Wrong. Completely unethical. I can't have a relationship with an ex-patient.]] It's so wrong. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking It's like a cop dating a fireman.]] It's that bad.
-->'''Reese''': ...'Kay.

to:

-->'''Iris''': -->'''Iris:''' [[spoiler:I have feelings for you, John.]]
-->'''Reese''': Oh.
-->'''Iris''':
]]\\
'''Reese:''' Oh.\\
'''Iris:'''
[[spoiler: Which is inappropriate. Wrong. Completely unethical. I can't have a relationship with even an ex-patient.]] It's so wrong. wrong, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking It's it's like a cop dating a fireman.]] It's fireman,]] it's that bad.
-->'''Reese''': ...
bad.\\
'''Reese:''' ...
'Kay.



-->'''Khan:''' I know it's bad, but come on, it's not Zoe Morgan bad, right?
-->'''Zoe:''' Well, if the board hired me...It seems it's worse than you thought.

to:

-->'''Khan:''' I know it's bad, but come on, it's not Zoe Morgan bad, right?
-->'''Zoe:'''
right?\\
'''Zoe:'''
Well, if the board hired me...[[GodzillaThreshold It seems it's worse than you thought.thought]].



** This hilarious summary of the show's premise that Root gives to Finch after they get a call from [[spoiler:Shaw]]:

to:

** This hilarious summary of the show's premise that Root gives to Finch after they get a call from [[spoiler:Shaw]]:[[spoiler:Shaw]]. A perfect example of something that [[ItMakesSenseInContext makes more sense in context]]:



*** The conversation with Root beforehand.
-->'''Root:''' You admitted me to the funny farm once. Turnabout's fair play.
-->'''Harold:''' I don't recall dressing you like a homeless dope fiend.
-->'''Root:''' It's not that bad. You look more hipster than homeless.
** Later, when he gives Root a potential lead on Shaw's location: a "compact Persian sociopath" being kept in a certain room.

to:

*** The conversation with Root beforehand.
beforehand:
-->'''Root:''' You admitted me to the funny farm once. Turnabout's fair play.
-->'''Harold:'''
play.\\
'''Finch:'''
I don't recall dressing you like a homeless dope fiend.
-->'''Root:'''
fiend.\\
'''Root:''' ''[snickers]''
It's not that bad. You look more hipster than homeless.
** Later, when he gives Root a potential lead on Shaw's location: a "compact Persian sociopath" being kept in a certain room.



-->'''Harold:''' Are you out of your mind?
-->'''Root:''' Since when is that relevant?

to:

-->'''Harold:''' Are you out of your mind?
-->'''Root:'''
mind?\\
'''Root:'''
Since when is that relevant?



* The Season 4 gag reel. It's the funniest one yet.
** Jim is an absolute goofball throughout this one.
-->'''Amy:''' Nothing kills this cat.
-->'''Jim (softly):''' Meow.

to:

* The Season 4 gag reel. It's reel:
** The first two are Jim and Sarah spontaneously forgetting their lines during two different scenes from "Wingman":
-->'''Captain Moreno:''' I told you, no more developmentals.\\
'''Jim:''' I was...I was, um... a lead-what was I doing?\\
--\\
'''Sarah:''' That container disappeared right around
the funniest one yet.
time our boy swapped his well-paying dockworker gigs...''[{{corps|ing}}es]'' Mommy!
** Root talking to Shaw in the moving van during "The Devil You Know":
-->''"Look on the bright side, Sameen. Pretty sure you just sold your last tube of [[FreudianSlip lube--]]"''

** Sarah and Jim on the positive thinking lecture set in "Panopticon":
-->'''Sarah:''' I'm supposed to remember my lines!
** Fusco and Reese during a scene in "Karma":
-->'''Fusco:''' What's your [[{{Mondegreen}} body]], Mr. Peabody doing?\\
'''Reese:''' ...That's my body?
** Jim is an absolute goofball throughout this one.
and Amy traveling to Maple in "M.I.A.":
-->'''Amy:''' Nothing kills this cat.
-->'''Jim
that cat.\\
'''Jim
(softly):''' Meow.Meow.
** Outside a building, Jim moves his hands over top of a mini-tornado blowing leaves around on the ground in front of him as if he's the one making it happen.
** Reese [[DramaticGunCock cocking a shotgun]] as part of a VisualPun in "Search and Destroy". Jim tries, but for whatever reason, it doesn't cock.
** Amy is practicing her choreography with the [[MadeOfIndestructium indestructible briefcase]] in another scene from "Search and Destroy", but swings it a little too hard and falls off her feet.



Bear's [[https://twitter.com/BearDeHond Twitter]] has had several amusing moments because he livetweets his thoughts during the episodes. (All his tweets are in Dutch, but please post English translations if possible.)

* His explanation for his behavior with Fusco during "Bad Code."
--> ''Corrupt police officer can not control me.''
* From "Masquerade":
--> ''Glasses man will not throw ball. Is he confused? This game is rather simple.''
* From "Bury the Lede":
--> About his squeaky toy: ''Observation: I hunt and kill this hairy creature many times, but it still makes noise. Strange ...''
--> While Reese is cooking breakfast: ''... pancake? PANCAKE? PANCAKE!''
* After Finch reprimanded him for licking the doughnut in "High Road":
--> ''Limits do not apply to cakes, bespectacled man. Everyone knows this.''
* From "Critical", in which he was left at the library with Leon:
--> ''Yeah, I'm on a "special diet." A special diet ... of all I want.''
--> ''Hot Pockets not tempt me, foolish man! Please. I am a professional.''
* After he takes down an Armenian mook at the end of "C.O.D.":
--> ''Do not make me angry. You will not like it when I'm angry.''
--> ''I take a bite out of crime.''
* During his bath in "Shadow Box"
--> ''Your harsh interrogation tactics will not work! Although I'm cold, wet, naked and humiliated, you will get no information from me! Never!''
* Bear wasn't in "2-Pi-R" and many fans were wondering where he was and who was taking care of him; Finch apparently left him alone at the library, and he proceeded to keep a Twitter log, which quickly turned to talking about how hungry he was growing:
--> ''Bear Log, Item 5: I remember the human trick: call is made and food appears. Must find phone.''
--> ''Bear Log, Item 6: No phone book in whole house! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Must. Eat. Something.]] [[{{Recap/PersonOfInterestS02E02}} Asimov was nice last time]] ... what else bespectacled man have?''
--> ''Bear Log, Item 7: Party tonight. Three-course meal courtesy of a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Auster Paul Auster]]. Bespectacled man has good taste.''
* He was missing Reese so much during "Prisoner's Dilemma" that he resorted to writing poetry. The haiku poems translate a little weird, but it's still hilarious to read.
* His reaction to Reese's return at the end of "Dead Reckoning":
--> '', iouhrbfew; vaslksadklfdjgaehruf; leinq; owiaerhbaer!!!!!!!!!!! THE TALL MAN!!!!!!''
* His greeting to the dog he has a playdate with at the end of "One Percent":
--> ''Hello energetic dog, my new friend! Do you speak Dutch?''
* When he wakes Shaw at the end of "Relevance":
--> ''If beautiful lady will not wake, there's only one solution: [[KissOfLife the kiss]]. Works every time.''
* From "Proteus":
--> ''Truth is stranger than fiction. My many experiences would be great material. Maybe I should write a screenplay.''
--> ''Recommendations for books on screenwriting? Refuse reading something so ridiculously titled as "SAVE THE CAT."''
--> ''"BULLETS IN BRUSSELS" Screenplay by Bear the Dog. FADE IN: EXT. PARK NIGHT A body floats in an elegant fountain ...''
* From "Trojan Horse":
--> ''Beautiful lady with a tasty face has come back to visit me! (They do not stay away for long.)''
* From "Zero Day":
--> ''Wanted: massage therapist specializing in tall men, bespectacled men and canines. Very tense around here.''
--> ''Alone. Reading 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Exciting. And salty. Nobody’s night is more exciting than this.''
* Reese left him with Leon ("Foolish Man") during "God Mode":
--> ''Tall Man has assigned me to the security detail for Foolish Man. Stand by for transmission.''
--> ''Business meeting with Foolish Man. Hushed tones. Something about “investment opportunity,” and “prime island real estate.”''
--> ''Having lunch with Foolish Man. I suggested string hot water but he demanded #gray papaya. Must admit, quite fond of the onions.''
--> ''Surprise meeting with associates of Foolish Man. They had guns. “Meeting by appointment only,” I said. [[AngryGuardDog With my teeth]].''
--> ''Foolish man home safely. Tall Man has rendezvous’d for my extraction. Conclude security detail transmission. See you later.''
* From "Liberty":
--> ''Finally alone. Time to tear through another first edition. #delicious''
--> ''[[MySignificanceSenseIsTingling I sense steak being eaten.]] I'm not the one eating it. #disappointed''
* From "Nothing to Hide":
--> ''Suddenly nervous about dark past. To do list: look up "Butcher" on [=LifeTrace=]. Eliminate all traces.''
--> ''Bespectacled Man. Wake up. I had an epic battle. Much furniture was lost.''
--> ''You take your eye off the crazy information broker [[DeliciousDistraction to eat a cookie]], and BAM. Should never have let him inside.''
* From "Reasonable Doubt":
--> ''To the victor go the expensive chew toys.''
--> ''The instant gratification of chew toys is over. Can I go back undercover, Tall Man?''
* At the end of "Razgovor", while Finch is questioning Shaw about the bug she planted in his office:
--> ''I know where the listening device is, Bespectacled Man. But I need more cookies before I will tell you.''
* "Last Call", following up on the throwaway joke in the episode proper about a man carjacked by squirrels:
--> ''Initial investigation does not indicate a carjacking ring, but I've uncovered a huge nut hoarding scheme.''
--> ''Went undercover; [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTPOSdyA7Uo here is a visual estimate of the results.]]''
--> ''In the library, waiting for Tall Man and Bespectacled Man. I need their skills to attach my findings to [[TheBigBoard the glass board]].''
--> ''Being a detective may not require opposable thumbs.''
* "A House Divided", while hanging out with Root's hacker squadron:
--> ''Smiling computer guy teaches me new tricks. He says "tooboe"[[labelnote:*]]Japanese for "howl"[[/labelnote]] and I make a noise and he gives me a treat.''
--> ''...The other computer guys hate it.''
* "Panopticon", finally getting to see Reese again.
--> ''TALL MAN. TALL MAN. LOOK AT ME. I MISS YOU. DO YOU HAVE A BALL? HI. TALL MAN. I LOVE YOU.''
* His justification for eating Harold's students' papers in "Brotherhood":
--> ''The blood, sweat and tears of [[RidiculousProcrastinator students who waited until the last minute to do their homework]] fuels me, bespectacled man.''
** Later in the episode, after Shaw mentions that she bugged Finch ([[CallBack again]]):
--> ''I know where the bugs are, Bespectacled Man. But I will not tell. No matter how much you inflict belly rubs on me.''
* "Honor Among Thieves", after Shaw ditches Romeo and his squad:
--> ''[[ShoutOut/ToShakespeare Romeo, Romeo. Where art thou Romeo?]] Oh yeah, on the way to the hospital because Hammer Lady kicked your ass.''
* "If-Then-Else": During the simplified simulation:
--> ''Very obscure quote. #Auteur''
* In "Guilty," when the judge informs Finch that his "number's up" to fill a vacant spot on the jury:
--> ''BESPECTACLED MAN?! Oh... his number for the jury. Phrasing, judge!''
* Throughout "Karma", he insists that [[TheDogWasTheMastermind Hector is the true culprit.]]
* "Skip":
--> ''Winner winner, expensive shoe dinner.''\\

to:

* Bear's [[https://twitter.com/BearDeHond Twitter]] has had several amusing moments because he livetweets his thoughts during the episodes. (All his tweets are in Dutch, but please post English translations if possible.)

*
)
**
His explanation for his behavior with Fusco during "Bad Code."
--> ''Corrupt --->''Corrupt police officer can not control me.''
* ** From "Masquerade":
--> ''Glasses --->''Glasses man will not throw ball. Is he confused? This game is rather simple.''
* ** From "Bury the Lede":
--> About --->About his squeaky toy: ''Observation: I hunt and kill this hairy creature many times, but it still makes noise. Strange ...''
-->
''\\
While Reese is cooking breakfast: ''... pancake? PANCAKE? PANCAKE!''
* ** After Finch reprimanded him for licking the doughnut in "High Road":
--> ''Limits --->''Limits do not apply to cakes, bespectacled man. Everyone knows this.''
* ** From "Critical", in which he was left at the library with Leon:
--> ''Yeah, --->''Yeah, I'm on a "special diet." A special diet ... of all I want.''
-->
''\\
''Hot Pockets not tempt me, foolish man! Please. I am a professional.''
* ** After he takes down an Armenian mook at the end of "C.O.D.":
--> ''Do --->''Do not make me angry. [[YouWouldntLikeMeWhenImAngry You will not like it when I'm angry.angry]].''\\
''I take a bite out of crime.
''
--> ''I take a bite out of crime.''
*
** During his bath in at the start of "Shadow Box"
--> ''Your --->''Your harsh interrogation tactics will not work! Although I'm cold, wet, naked and humiliated, you will get no information from me! Never!''
* ** Bear wasn't in "2-Pi-R" and many fans were wondering where he was and who was taking care of him; Finch apparently left him alone at the library, and he proceeded to keep a Twitter log, which quickly turned to talking about how hungry he was growing:
--> ''Bear --->''Bear Log, Item 5: I remember the human trick: call is made and food appears. Must find phone.''
-->
''\\
''Bear Log, Item 6: No phone book in whole house! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Must. Eat. Something.]] [[{{Recap/PersonOfInterestS02E02}} Asimov was nice last time]] ... what else bespectacled man have?''
-->
have?''\\
''Bear Log, Item 7: Party tonight. Three-course meal courtesy of a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Auster Paul Auster]]. Bespectacled man has good taste.''
* ** He was missing Reese so much during "Prisoner's Dilemma" that he resorted to writing poetry. The haiku poems translate a little weird, but it's still hilarious to read.
* ** His reaction to Reese's return at the end of "Dead Reckoning":
--> '', --->'', iouhrbfew; vaslksadklfdjgaehruf; leinq; owiaerhbaer!!!!!!!!!!! THE TALL MAN!!!!!!''
* ** His greeting to the dog he has a playdate with at the end of "One Percent":
--> ---> ''Hello energetic dog, my new friend! Do you speak Dutch?''
* ** When he wakes Shaw at the end of "Relevance":
--> ''If --->''If beautiful lady will not wake, there's only one solution: [[KissOfLife the kiss]]. Works every time.''
* ** From "Proteus":
--> ''Truth --->''Truth is stranger than fiction. My many experiences would be great material. Maybe I should write a screenplay.''
-->
''\\
''Recommendations for books on screenwriting? Refuse reading something so ridiculously titled as "SAVE THE CAT."''
-->
"''\\
''"BULLETS IN BRUSSELS" Screenplay by Bear the Dog. FADE IN: EXT. PARK NIGHT A body floats in an elegant fountain ...''
* ** From "Trojan Horse":
--> ''Beautiful --->''Beautiful lady with a tasty face has come back to visit me! (They do not stay away for long.)''
* ** From "Zero Day":
--> ''Wanted: --->''Wanted: massage therapist specializing in tall men, bespectacled men and canines. Very tense around here.''
-->
''\\
''Alone. Reading 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Exciting. And salty. Nobody’s night is more exciting than this.''
* ** Reese left him with Leon ("Foolish Man") during "God Mode":
--> ''Tall --->''Tall Man has assigned me to the security detail for Foolish Man. Stand by for transmission.''
-->
''\\
''Business meeting with Foolish Man. Hushed tones. Something about “investment opportunity,” and “prime island real estate.”''
-->
”''\\
''Having lunch with Foolish Man. I suggested string hot water but he demanded #gray papaya. Must admit, quite fond of the onions.''
-->
''\\
''Surprise meeting with associates of Foolish Man. They had guns. “Meeting by appointment only,” I said. [[AngryGuardDog With my teeth]].''
-->
''\\
''Foolish man home safely. Tall Man has rendezvous’d for my extraction. Conclude security detail transmission. See you later.''
* ** From "Liberty":
--> ''Finally --->''Finally alone. Time to tear through another first edition. #delicious''
-->
#delicious''\\
''[[MySignificanceSenseIsTingling I sense steak being eaten.]] I'm not the one eating it. #disappointed''
* ** From "Nothing to Hide":
--> ''Suddenly -->''Suddenly nervous about dark past. To do list: look up "Butcher" on [=LifeTrace=]. Eliminate all traces.''
-->
''\\
''Bespectacled Man. Wake up. I had an epic battle. Much furniture was lost.''
-->
''\\
''You take your eye off the crazy information broker [[DeliciousDistraction to eat a cookie]], and BAM. Should never have let him inside.''
* ** From "Reasonable Doubt":
--> ''To --->''To the victor go the expensive chew toys.''
-->
''\\
''The instant gratification of chew toys is over. Can I go back undercover, Tall Man?''
* ** At the end of "Razgovor", while Finch is questioning Shaw about the bug she planted in his office:
--> ''I --->''I know where the listening device is, Bespectacled Man. But I need more cookies before I will tell you.''
* ** "Last Call", following up on the throwaway joke in the episode proper about a man carjacked by squirrels:
--> ''Initial
squirrels:\\
--->''Initial
investigation does not indicate a carjacking ring, but I've uncovered a huge nut hoarding scheme.''
-->
''\\
''Went undercover; [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTPOSdyA7Uo here is a visual estimate of the results.]]''
-->
]]''\\
''In the library, waiting for Tall Man and Bespectacled Man. I need their skills to attach my findings to [[TheBigBoard the glass board]].''\\
''Being a detective may not require opposable thumbs.
''
--> ''Being a detective may not require opposable thumbs.''
*
** "A House Divided", while hanging out with Root's hacker squadron:
--> ''Smiling --->''Smiling computer guy teaches me new tricks. He says "tooboe"[[labelnote:*]]Japanese for "howl"[[/labelnote]] and I make a noise and he gives me a treat.''
-->
''\\
''...The other computer guys hate it.''
* ** "Panopticon", finally getting to see Reese again.
--> ''TALL --->''TALL MAN. TALL MAN. LOOK AT ME. I MISS YOU. DO YOU HAVE A BALL? HI. TALL MAN. I LOVE YOU.''
* ** His justification for eating Harold's students' papers in "Brotherhood":
--> ''The --->''The blood, sweat and tears of [[RidiculousProcrastinator students who waited until the last minute to do their homework]] fuels me, bespectacled man.''
** *** Later in the that same episode, after Shaw mentions that she bugged Finch ([[CallBack again]]):
--> ''I --->''I know where the bugs are, Bespectacled Man. But I will not tell. No matter how much you inflict belly rubs on me.''
* ** "Honor Among Thieves", after Shaw ditches Romeo and his squad:
--> ''[[ShoutOut/ToShakespeare --->''[[ShoutOut/ToShakespeare Romeo, Romeo. Where art thou Romeo?]] Oh yeah, on the way to the hospital because Hammer Lady kicked your ass.''
* ** "If-Then-Else": During the [[TropeName simplified simulation:
--> ''Very
simulation]]:
--->''Very
obscure quote. #Auteur''
* ** In "Guilty," when the judge informs Finch that his "number's up" to fill a vacant spot on the jury:
--> ''BESPECTACLED --->''BESPECTACLED MAN?! Oh... his number for the jury. [[AmbiguousSyntax Phrasing, judge!''
*
judge]]!''
**
Throughout "Karma", he insists that [[TheDogWasTheMastermind Hector is the true culprit.]]
* ** "Skip":
--> ''Winner --->''Winner winner, expensive shoe dinner.''\\



* "Asylum," when Shaw calls her old phone:
--> ''Beautiful hammer lady... in the phone? Bespectacled man... what have you done?!''
* "YHWH"
--> ''Beautiful hammer lady is not made small and is not trapped in a phone?? Naturally. I knew that....''

Other Twitter-based shenanigans:
* A comment from Amy Acker during "Asylum", shortly after Root kills [[spoiler:Martine Rousseau]] with a NeckSnap:
--> ''Next week's cover identity- Root is a chiropractor. Who wants an appointment?''

to:

* ** "Asylum," when Shaw calls her old phone:
--> ''Beautiful --->''Beautiful hammer lady... in the phone? Bespectacled man... what have you done?!''
* ** "YHWH"
--> ''Beautiful --->''Beautiful hammer lady is not made small and is not trapped in a phone?? Naturally. I knew that....''

* Other Twitter-based shenanigans:
* ** A comment from Amy Acker during "Asylum", shortly after Root kills [[spoiler:Martine Rousseau]] with a NeckSnap:
--> ---> ''Next week's cover identity- Root is a chiropractor. Who wants an appointment?''



-->'''Holmes''': I have a beautiful and alluring partner.\\
'''Finch''': [[HoYay So do I]].\\
''[Reese stares at Finch incredulously for a {{Beat}}]''\\
'''Watson''': Awkward...

to:

-->'''Holmes''': -->'''Holmes:''' I have a beautiful and alluring partner.\\
'''Finch''': '''Finch:''' [[HoYay So do I]].\\
''[Reese stares at Finch incredulously for a {{Beat}}]''\\
'''Watson''':
{{beat}}]''\\
'''Watson:'''
Awkward...
10th Feb '16 6:04:44 PM MasterofGalaxies4628
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** Collier making his case before the court has this little nugget embedded in it:
--> '''Collier:''' I have here more than 300 pages documenting illegal wiretaps, recordings, and assassinations carried out by Northern Lights, all using information from something called Research, and all within a two-week time period. Now, ''no'' bureaucracy moves that fast.
29th Jan '16 11:11:49 AM MasterofGalaxies4628
Is there an issue? Send a Message


%%* The Season 3 gag reel:

to:

%%* * The Season 3 gag reel:reel:
** During a scene from "The Devil's Share", Sarah Shahi stands [[TheComicallySerious completely still]] as Kevin Chapman repeatedly flubs his lines.
** Reese and Shaw getting out of the taxi trunk in "Beta". Sarah makes it out just fine, but Jim loses his grip and falls back in.
** The Decima mook from "RAM" who [[DrivenToSuicide kills himself]] by [[DestinationDefenestration going through a window]]. Instead of the pane shattering, it dislodges completely out of its frame without breaking.
** While filming the motorcycle scene from "Death Benefit", Amy Acker accidentally puts her helmet on backwards. The way she grabs her helmet upon realizing her mistake is a rare example of OhCrap ''without'' a facial expression involved.
** Root confronting Greer with Bear in the subway at the end of "Allegiance". Boker's reaction at the end really makes this one hilarious:
-->'''Greer:''' Perhaps you and I have more in common than you think.\\
'''Root:''' I don't think so.\\
'''Subway Intercom:''' [[AC:The next uptown express 5 train...]]
** During "4C", Reese pulls out a phone to call Finch, but Jim holds it backwards, with the screen facing out.
** "Mors Praematura", when Root is imprisoned in the Faraday cage:
-->'''Michael Emerson:''' There are more comfortable chairs, if you'd rather... ''[sounds of metal clinking]'' Oh, it freaking locked.
** Sarah Shahi: "Everything I have I owe to spaghetti."
** In the diner during "Beta":
-->'''Jim:''' ''[pointing at his co-stars]'' Maniacal laugh. Maniacal laugh. ''[EvilLaugh]'' Maniacal laugh!
** Grauber's Boker is a little too energetic during a subway sequence from "Allegiance". Amy has to run to keep up with him.
** From the start of "Allegiance": Reese and Finch are cleaning up the books Bear knocked down. A book Michael put back on the shelf falls off and [[AmusingInjuries hits him on the head]].
29th Jan '16 10:49:31 AM MasterofGalaxies4628
Is there an issue? Send a Message


%%
%% Add examples in order of appearance on the gag reel, not by the episode they originate from.
%%



%%
%% Add examples in order of appearance on the gag reel, not by the episode they originate from.
%%



** Jim is standing on the street, and a FedEx van stops in front of the camera. His response:

to:

** Jim is standing on the street, and a FedEx [=FedEx=] van stops in front of the camera. His response:



'''Shaw:''' What kind of kid uses counter-surveillance tactics!?

to:

'''Shaw:''' What kind of a weird-ass kid uses counter-surveillance countersurveillance tactics!?



'''Finch:''' ''(OhCrap face)'' Miss Shaw?\\
'''Shaw:''' ''(Smiling)'' What, Finch? You think I didn't bug your office?\\
Finch looks around his office warily.

to:

'''Finch:''' ''(OhCrap face)'' Miss ''[OhCrap face]'' Ms. Shaw?\\
'''Shaw:''' ''(Smiling)'' ''[Smiling]'' What, Finch? You think I didn't bug your office?\\
Finch ''[Finch looks around his office warily.warily]''



-->'''Finch:''' Now, about that bug in my library..\\

to:

-->'''Finch:''' Now, about that bug in my library..library...\\



-->'''Gen''': "I thought you [[{{Franchise/Terminator}} might be a robot]]..."

to:

-->'''Gen''': "I thought you [[{{Franchise/Terminator}} [[Franchise/{{Terminator}} might be a robot]]..."



* "Mors Praematura"

to:

* "Mors Praematura"Praematura":



* "The Perfect Mark"

to:

* "The Perfect Mark"Mark":



* "Endgame"

to:

* "Endgame""Endgame":



* The Crossing:
** "You know, the dog's the only one that likes you."

to:

* The Crossing:
"The Crossing":
** "You know, Fusco threatening Shaw for breaking into his house:
-->'''Fusco:'''I don't care who you are. You break into my house again, you're gonna be sorry.\\
'''Shaw:'''I'm already sorry. I'm gonna have to listen to your whiny ass all the way to Queens.\\
'''Fusco:'''Me? You know
the dog's the only one that likes you."you, right?
** Later, when Shaw is on the phone with Finch while in Fusco's car:
-->'''Fusco:''' Is that Glasses? Tell him this is the last time I chauffeur your ass.



-->'''Mook:''' That's a nice suit. Maybe we'll bury you in it.
-->'''Reese:''' [[PreAssKickingOneLiner Too bad. I just had it cleaned.]]

to:

-->'''Mook:''' That's a nice suit. Maybe we'll bury you in it.
-->'''Reese:'''
it.\\
'''Reese:'''
[[PreAssKickingOneLiner Too bad. I just had it cleaned.]]



--> '''[[DeadpanSnarker Simmons]]:''' ''[cracks open a cookie and [[PokeThePoodle throws the crumbs at Fusco]]]'' "You will be unusually successful at your career." Y'know, I don't think that one's true. ''[tosses the paper away and cracks open another]'' "A thrilling time is in your future." We're getting close now. ''[cracks open [[RuleOfThree a third]]]'' Ah, here we go: "Tell your friends what they wanna know, or they will break you apart limb from limb." That's more like it.
** Finch walks up to an HR mook.
-->'''Finch:''' Officer Simmons said you might be in need of my assistance.
-->'''Mook:''' Yeah? Who are you?
-->'''Finch:''' I'm the guy that's gonna catch you when you fall. ''[Taser buzzing, man slumps to floor]'' [[ApologisesALot Sorry, I'm not very good at this.]]
* "The Devil's Share"
** The shot of [[spoiler: Finch, Shaw Fusco and Root]] crammed into Harold's Lincoln is a sight to behold.

to:

--> '''[[DeadpanSnarker -->'''[[DeadpanSnarker Simmons]]:''' ''[cracks open a cookie and [[PokeThePoodle throws the crumbs at Fusco]]]'' "You will be unusually successful at your career." Y'know, I don't think that one's true. ''[tosses the paper away and cracks open another]'' "A thrilling time is in your future." We're getting close now. ''[cracks open [[RuleOfThree a third]]]'' Ah, here we go: "Tell your friends what they wanna know, or they will break you apart limb from limb." That's more like it.
** Finch walks up to an HR mook.
mook:
-->'''Finch:''' Officer Simmons said you might be in need of my assistance.
-->'''Mook:'''
assistance.\\
'''Mook:'''
Yeah? Who are you?
-->'''Finch:'''
you?\\
'''Finch:'''
I'm the guy that's gonna catch you when you fall. ''[Taser buzzing, man slumps to floor]'' [[ApologisesALot Sorry, I'm not very good at this.]]
* "The Devil's Share"
Share":
** The shot of [[spoiler: Finch, Shaw Fusco [[spoiler:Finch, Shaw, Fusco, and Root]] all crammed into Harold's Lincoln is a sight to behold.



** When they get out, Fusco is extremely skeptical of Root's abilities. With the Machine's help, she lists the change from his morning coffee run, the picture of his father back at Fusco's house and even tells him where his name came from completely freaking out Fusco.

to:

** When they get out, Fusco is extremely skeptical of Root's abilities. With the Machine's help, she lists the change from his morning coffee run, the picture of his father back at Fusco's house and even tells him where his name came from from, completely freaking out Fusco.



** BlackComedy courtesy of Shaw's detachedness:

to:

** BlackComedy courtesy of Shaw's detachedness:detachedness in a flashback:



* "Lethe"

to:

* "Lethe""Lethe":



* "Aletheia"
** Shaw's immortal line.

to:

* "Aletheia"
"Aletheia":
** Shaw's immortal line.line:



-->'''Finch''': Did you make a backup [of Samaritan]?
-->''[Arthur is silent, with a vacant look]''
-->'''Shaw''': Save it, Harold. He's closed for business.
-->'''Arthur''': ''[side eye glance at Shaw]'' Of course I made a backup. It's just that woman seemed quite dangerous, so I played the tumor card. It was a ruse, remembering to forget.
-->'''Shaw''': You're growing on me, Arthur.
-->'''Arthur''': ''[surprised look at Shaw]'' Who are you?
-->'''Shaw''': ''[smile drops]'' ...never mind.

to:

-->'''Finch''': Did you make a backup [of Samaritan]?
-->''[Arthur
Samaritan]?\\
''[Arthur
is silent, with a vacant look]''
-->'''Shaw''':
look]''\\
'''Shaw''':
Save it, Harold. He's closed for business.
-->'''Arthur''':
business.\\
'''Arthur''':
''[side eye glance at Shaw]'' Of course I made a backup. It's just that woman seemed quite dangerous, so I played the tumor card. [[ObfuscatingStupidity It was a ruse, remembering to forget.
-->'''Shaw''':
forget]].\\
'''Shaw''': ''[smiles]''
You're growing on me, Arthur.
-->'''Arthur''':
Arthur.\\
'''Arthur''':
''[surprised look at Shaw]'' Who are you?
-->'''Shaw''':
you?\\
'''Shaw''':
''[smile drops]'' ...never mind.



* "4C"

to:

* "4C""4C":



--->'''Owen:''' Hey, don't take this the wrong way, but who the hell are you?\\

to:

--->'''Owen:''' -->'''Owen:''' Hey, don't take this the wrong way, but who the hell are you?\\



--->'''Finch''': Would it be too much to ask you to snap a twig?\\

to:

--->'''Finch''': -->'''Finch''': Would it be too much to ask you to snap a twig?\\



--->'''Owen''': Going through people's stuff? That's not cool, what are you looking for?\\
'''Reese''': A safety razor, maybe. Hair spray.\\
'''Owen''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Dude, your hair looks fine]]. That salt and pepper thing's like catnip to soccer moms. Go ''au naturel''.\\

to:

--->'''Owen''': -->'''Owen''': Going through people's stuff? That's not cool, what are you looking for?\\
'''Reese''': '''Reese:''' A safety razor, maybe. Hair spray.\\
'''Owen''': '''Owen:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Dude, your hair looks fine]]. That salt and pepper thing's like catnip to soccer moms. Go ''au naturel''.\\



---> '''Finch:''' I'm only rated for props!

to:

---> --> '''Finch:''' I'm only rated for props!



* "Provenance"

to:

* "Provenance""Provenance":



* "Last Call"

to:

* "Last Call"Call":



-->'''Dillinger:''' It's not good for you to be in here all day by yourself, Harold. You ever think about getting a dog?

to:

-->'''Dillinger:''' It's not good for you to be in here all day by yourself, Harold. You ever think about [[CallForward getting a dog?dog]]?



-->'''Daniel Casey:''' This is an original edition of Shannon and Weaver's ''Mathematical Theory of Communication.'' This is...
-->'''Finch:''' I believe the word you're looking for is "rad."

to:

-->'''Daniel Casey:''' This is an original edition of Shannon and Weaver's ''Mathematical Theory of Communication.'' This is...
-->'''Finch:'''
is...\\
'''[[SophisticatedAsHell Finch]]:'''
I believe the word you're looking for is "rad."



* "/" (originally titled "Root Path"):

to:

* "/" (originally titled "Root Path"):("[[NoPronunciationGuide Root Path]]"):



-->(In the NYPD station)
-->'''Fusco:''' Nobody's taking this guy from me without a big fat federal warrant, you got that?\\
(Root promptly whips out a thick blue packet)
-->(later)
-->'''Fusco:''' (to Reese) She had a warrant--a real one. What was I supposed to say? "Sorry, boss, Agent King is actually a superpowered nutball. Just ask my buddy, the urban legend."

to:

-->(In
-->''[In
the NYPD station)
-->'''Fusco:'''
station]''\\
'''Fusco:'''
Nobody's taking this guy from me without a big fat federal warrant, you got that?\\
(Root ''[Root promptly whips out a thick blue packet)
-->(later)
-->'''Fusco:''' (to Reese)
packet]''\\
''[later]''\\
'''Reese:''' You let her ''what!?''\\
'''Fusco:'''
She had a warrant--a real one. What was I supposed to say? "Sorry, boss, Agent King is actually a superpowered nutball. Just ask my buddy, the urban legend."



** Reese tackles a mook out of a window [[spoiler: and down a four story drop. Shaw and Fusco are completely lost for words]]

to:

** Reese tackles a mook out of a window [[spoiler: and [[spoiler:and down a four story drop. Shaw and Fusco are completely lost for words]]



--->"Are you gonna cry?"
* "Most Likely To..."

to:

--->"Are -->''"Are you gonna cry?"
cry?"''
* "Most Likely To..."":



-->'''Shaw:''' Is it just me, or is it getting harder to tell all the tourists apart?
-->'''Reese:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Don't appreciate visitors, Shaw?]]
-->'''Shaw:''' [[LittleMissSnarker I don't appreciate their fanny packs.]]

to:

-->'''Shaw:''' Is it just me, or is it getting harder to tell all the tourists apart?
-->'''Reese:'''
apart?\\
'''Reese:'''
[[DeadpanSnarker Don't appreciate visitors, Shaw?]]
-->'''Shaw:'''
Shaw?]]\\
'''Shaw:'''
[[LittleMissSnarker I don't appreciate their fanny packs.]]



-->'''Shaw:''' Is that why you had us dress up, Harold? An evening at the theater?
-->'''Finch:''' If you keep an open mind, Miss Shaw, you might actually enjoy yourself.
-->'''Shaw:''' What's the show?
-->'''Finch:''' ''(hesitates)'' Theatre/MammaMia
-->''(Reese and Shaw look distinctly unimpressed)''

to:

-->'''Shaw:''' Is that why you had us dress up, Harold? An evening at the theater?
-->'''Finch:'''
theater?\\
'''Finch:'''
If you keep an open mind, Miss Ms. Shaw, you might actually enjoy yourself.
-->'''Shaw:'''
yourself.\\
'''Shaw:'''
What's the show?
-->'''Finch:''' ''(hesitates)'' Theatre/MammaMia
-->''(Reese
show?\\
'''Finch:''' ''[hesitates]'' Theatre/MammaMia\\
''[Reese
and Shaw look distinctly unimpressed)''unimpressed]''



--->'''Shaw:''' You leaked our location to Vigilance!?\\
'''Root:''' For a good cause.
* "Death Benefit"

to:

--->'''Shaw:''' -->'''Shaw:''' You leaked our location to Vigilance!?\\
'''Root:''' For a good cause.
* "Death Benefit"Benefit":



** Root rides up on a motorcycle. She and Shaw have this exchange.
-->Root: Hey, kids. You miss me between drug deals?
-->Shaw: Yeah. I miss you like I miss an intestinal parasite.
-->Root: I love your similes.
* "Beta"

to:

** Root rides up on a motorcycle. She and Shaw have this exchange.
-->Root:
exchange:
-->'''Root:'''
Hey, kids. You miss me between drug deals?
-->Shaw:
deals?\\
'''Shaw:'''
Yeah. I miss you like I miss an intestinal parasite.
-->Root:
parasite.\\
'''Root:'''
I love your similes.
* "Beta""Beta":



-->'''Root:''' In evidence locker 7-7-9-B, there's a coil of copper wire. In 4-4-3-A, there's a pair of needle-nosed pliers. I need them, a roll of duct tape, and an extension cord.
-->'''Fusco:''' Oh, is that all, Cocoa Puffs?
-->''[Root nods and saucily winks at the security camera after Fusco leaves]''

to:

-->'''Root:''' In evidence locker 7-7-9-B, there's a coil of copper wire. In 4-4-3-A, there's a pair of needle-nosed pliers. I need them, a roll of duct tape, and an extension cord.
-->'''Fusco:'''
cord.\\
'''Fusco:'''
Oh, is that all, Cocoa Puffs?
-->''[Root
Puffs?\\
''[Root
nods and saucily winks at the security camera after Fusco leaves]''



-->'''Shaw:''' You sure we're safe here?
-->'''Root:''' From everything but the coffee.
-->''[Shaw does a small SpitTake back into her cup and hastily puts it down]''

to:

-->'''Shaw:''' You sure we're safe here?
-->'''Root:'''
here?\\
'''Root:'''
From everything but the coffee.
-->''[Shaw
coffee.\\
''[Shaw
does a small SpitTake back into her cup and hastily puts it down]''



* "A House Divided"

to:

* "A House Divided"Divided":



--> '''Finch''' [[spoiler:(after being shot and patched up by Reese)]]: Why would you ever choose a career where this is an occupational hazard?
--> '''Reese''': Well. I tried to quit, [[DeadpanSnarker but some jackass]] [[CallBack told me I needed a purpose.]]

to:

--> '''Finch''' -->'''Finch''' [[spoiler:(after being shot and patched up by Reese)]]: Why would you ever choose a career where this is an occupational hazard?
-->
hazard?\\
'''Reese''': Well. I tried to quit, [[DeadpanSnarker but some jackass]] [[CallBack told me I needed a purpose.]]


Added DiffLines:

%%* The Season 3 gag reel:
29th Jan '16 10:31:08 AM MasterofGalaxies4628
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->'''Nelson''': Have I mentioned that my eyesight is starting to fail? *[[FreudianThreat aims gun]]*

to:

-->'''Nelson''': Have I mentioned that my eyesight is starting to fail? failing? *[[FreudianThreat aims gun]]*



* "I've lost people. So when I care about someone, I put a tracking device on them."
* In "God Mode", [[spoiler: the rebooted Machine]] sends Reese and Shaw on various live-saving errands before they can rescue Finch. One of which is an angry man pointing a gun at his ex and her new husband at their wedding. They drive up, Reese shoots him in the arm, and then congratulates the couple before driving off.

to:

* "Zero Day":
**
"I've lost people. people before. So when I care about someone, I put plant a tracking device on them."
* In "God Mode", [[spoiler: the rebooted Machine]] Mode":
** The Machine, [[spoiler:after rebooting]],
sends Reese and Shaw on various live-saving errands before they can rescue Finch. One of which is an angry man [[IfICantHaveYou pointing a gun at his ex and her new husband at their wedding.wedding]]. They drive up, Reese shoots him in the arm, and then congratulates the couple before driving off.




to:

* The Season 2 gag reel:
%%
%% Add examples in order of appearance on the gag reel, not by the episode they originate from.
%%
** Taraji P. Henson goes berserk in response to a bug flying in her face.
** Reese and Stanton in a "Prisoner's Dilemma" flashback:
-->'''Reese:''' ''[holding a glass bottle]'' It's my first triple homicide. ''[puts the bottle on a table and pushes it out of sight of the camera]'' Didn't know I was supposed to prepare jokes-- ''[sound of glass shattering; Jim cringes]''
** Jim and Taraji outside at night:
-->'''Taraji:''' [[Film/ThePassionOfTheChrist Jesus]], can you make the wind stop blowing? ''[they laugh]'' Turn the heat up a bit?
** Jim and Michael during the graveyard scene in "Relevance":
-->'''Michael:''' ''[sniffles]'' I can't feel my face.
** Jim is standing on the street, and a FedEx van stops in front of the camera. His response:
-->''"Oh my gosh, I'm doing my best acting right now!"''
** Kevin Chapman walking through the 8th while on his phone:
-->''"Never question the powers of the Fusco."''
** In the library, Michael throws a tennis ball for Graubaer's Boker to fetch. Boker ''knocks it into the air with his front paws like a volleyball'' and it hits the camera.
29th Jan '16 10:10:09 AM MasterofGalaxies4628
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->'''Reese''': "[He's] very manipulative. ''Secretive.'' We've had some personality conflicts."\\
'''Andrea''': "I take it he has a lot of money?"\\
'''Reese''': "He's one of those rich loner types. The kind you'd call strange if he didn't have so much cash, so instead he's.... eccentric."\\

to:

-->'''Reese''': -->'''Reese:''' "[He's] very manipulative. ''Secretive.'' We've had some personality conflicts."\\
'''Andrea''': '''Andrea:''' "I take it he has a lot of money?"\\
'''Reese''': '''Reese:''' "He's one of those rich loner types. The kind you'd call strange if he didn't have so much cash, so instead he's.... eccentric."\\



'''Finch:''' She was in imminent danger of kidnapping.

to:

'''Finch:''' She was in imminent danger of kidnapping.\\



-->'''Cashier''': "Congratulations! Is it your first?"\\

to:

-->'''Cashier''': -->'''Cashier:''' "Congratulations! Is it your first?"\\



-->'''Reese''': ''[Points at father] "Da-da?" [Points at son] "Or da-da?"''

to:

-->'''Reese''': -->'''Reese:''' ''[Points at father] father]'' "Da-da?" [Points ''[Points at son] son]'' "Or da-da?"''da-da?"



--->'''Finch''': How about a delicious bottle?\\
'''Reese''': Finch, are you there?

to:

--->'''Finch''': -->'''Finch:''' How about a delicious bottle?\\
'''Reese''': '''Reese:''' Finch, are you there?



-->'''Finch''': We have to keep a closer eye on Jordan.\\
'''Reese''': "Jordan?" You're on a first name basis now?\\
'''Finch''': No, I'm just tired of using pronouns.

to:

-->'''Finch''': -->'''Finch:''' We have to keep a closer eye on Jordan.\\
'''Reese''': '''Reese:''' "Jordan?" You're on a first name basis now?\\
'''Finch''': '''Finch:''' No, I'm just just...tired of using pronouns.



-->'''Harold''': ''[to Fusco]'' Want to hack the Pentagon?

to:

-->'''Harold''': -->'''Finch:''' ''[to Fusco]'' Want to hack the Pentagon?


Added DiffLines:

* The Season 1 gag reel:
%%
%% Add examples in order of appearance on the gag reel, not by the episode they originate from.
%%
** A scene in "Get Carter" where Reese gets in a car and backs it out of a shop. Jim puts it in the wrong gear and drives forward instead.
** Interrogating the German intelligence agent in "Foe":
-->'''Fusco:''' We know you're German intel. We know a lot.\\
'''German Agent:''' If that's all you know, ''polizei'', then you don't know very much.\\
'''Fusco:''' Yeah, tell me about your geriatric homicidal ''[SoundEffectBleep]'' mamalook!\\
''[the agent, Kevin Chapman, and Taraji P. Henson all {{corps|ing}}e''
** Reese introducing himself to Charlie Burton in "Witness". What makes this one even more hilarious is that Jim never breaks out of Reese's subdued voice while saying it. Enrico Colantoni ''struggles'' to not crack up himself at the end:
-->'''Reese:''' My name is John. ''[holds out his hand]''\\
'''Burton:''' ''[shakes Reese's hand]'' Thank you for saving my ass, John.\\
'''Reese:''' It's no problem. You got a nice ass; I've been checking it out.
** Jim smoothing over the German agent's hair during filming of a fight scene in "Foe".
27th Jan '16 6:40:54 PM kilroy11235
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

-->'''Fusco:''' Even for you, stabbing a senior would be a new low.
-->'''Shaw:''' You don't know that.
26th Jan '16 1:19:39 AM MasterofGalaxies4628
Is there an issue? Send a Message


** [[BlackHumor Kara and Reese's looks of bewilderment]] after the Decima agent they were torturing [[SuicidePact flings himself out of a window to avoid talking.]]

to:

** [[BlackHumor [[BlackComedy Kara and Reese's looks of bewilderment]] after the Decima agent they were torturing [[SuicidePact flings himself out of a window to avoid talking.]]



** Everything Root does is a mixture of awesome and funny. Example:

to:

** Everything Root does is a mixture of awesome and funny. Example:Some examples:



* "Deus Ex Machina": Just because it's a WhamEpisode doesn't mean there can't be a few moments of levity here and there:

to:

* "Deus Ex Machina": Just because it's a WhamEpisode [[WhamEpisode really bleak]] doesn't mean there can't be a few moments of levity here and there:



** Shaw realizes she needs a method of transportation. Cue Hersh simply firing in the air and stealing a terrified passerby's bike unceremoniously. This is even funnier when you realize this is a CallBack to how he got himself in jail to get to Reese. So it seems like Hersh's answer for anything is to just shoot into the air.

to:

** Shaw realizes she needs a method of transportation. Cue Hersh simply firing in the air and stealing a terrified passerby's bike unceremoniously. This is even funnier when you realize this is a CallBack to how he got himself in jail to get to Reese. So it seems like Hersh's [[YourAnswerToEverything answer for anything everything]] is to just shoot into the air.



--->'''Reese:''' The Machine sent us here for a reason.\\
'''Fusco:''' ...machine?\\
'''Reese:''' Nevermind.
** Pure BlackComedy, but after Hersh and Reese split up to search the courthouse, both telling the other to call if they get in over their head:
--->'''Hersh:''' ...I think I'm in over my head.\\
'''Reese:''' ''[exchanging fire with Vigilance soldiers]'' I've got a bit of trouble here, too.\\
'''Hersh:''' Unless you've found a bomb wired to blow once the power gets turned back on, I think I've got you beat.
** During the aforementioned firefight, Bear retrieves a fallen Vigilance pistol for Reese.

to:

--->'''Reese:''' -->'''Reese:''' Vigilance caused the blackout. They set up a {{kangaroo court}} to go after anyone tied to The Machine sent us here for a reason.Machine.\\
'''Fusco:''' ...machine?\\
'''Reese:''' Nevermind.
What machine?
** Pure BlackComedy, but after Hersh and Reese split up to search the courthouse, both telling the other to call if they get in over their head:
--->'''Hersh:''' ...
head, Hersh finds something ''[[FromBadToWorse very bad]]'':
-->'''Hersh:''' [[OhCrap Oh, dear...]] ''[calls Reese]''
I think I'm I might be in over my head.\\
'''Reese:''' ''[exchanging fire with Vigilance soldiers]'' I've got [[KindaBusyHere I'm a bit of trouble here, too.little busy myself]].\\
'''Hersh:''' Unless you've found you're looking at a big-ass bomb wired to blow once when the power gets turned comes back on, I ''I think I've got you beat.
I win''.
** During the aforementioned firefight, Bear [[GoFetch retrieves a fallen Vigilance pistol pistol]] for Reese.



-->'''WHAT'''
-->'''ARE'''
-->'''YOUR'''
-->'''COMMANDS'''
-->'''?'''

to:

-->'''WHAT'''
-->'''ARE'''
-->'''YOUR'''
-->'''COMMANDS'''
-->'''?'''
-->'''WHAT'''\\
'''ARE'''\\
'''YOUR'''\\
'''COMMANDS'''\\
'''?'''



** Since Reese is still tied to a chair and can't answer his phone, The Machine ''faxes'' the "God Mode" combat advice he needs to free himself to the bank, correctly predicting that he'll get the message because Dominic and Floyd will read the document out loud.

to:

** Since Reese is still tied to a chair and can't answer his phone, The Machine ''faxes'' sends the "God Mode" combat advice he needs to free himself to the bank, bank via ''fax machine'', correctly predicting that he'll get the message because Dominic and Floyd will read the document out loud.



---> ''I know where the bugs are, Bespectacled Man. But I will not tell. No matter how much you inflict belly rubs on me.''

to:

---> --> ''I know where the bugs are, Bespectacled Man. But I will not tell. No matter how much you inflict belly rubs on me.''



* One promotional video has Finch and Reese [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_tIzCQvrmI meets]] [[Series/{{Elementary}} Sherlock and Joan]].

to:

* One promotional co-promotional video has Finch and Reese [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_tIzCQvrmI meets]] meeting]] [[Series/{{Elementary}} Sherlock and Joan]].



[''Reese stares at Finch incredulously for a {{Beat}}'']\\

to:

[''Reese ''[Reese stares at Finch incredulously for a {{Beat}}'']\\{{Beat}}]''\\
21st Jan '16 12:09:42 PM MasterofGalaxies4628
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* From the pilot: Reese walks in on a gun buy and asks those involved if they've taken a firearms safety course.
--> '''Reese:''' Take you, for instance. [[GangstaStyle You're holding the gun sideways. You can't aim it, and two, it'll eject the cartridge right into your face.]]

to:

* From the pilot: pilot:
**
Reese walks in on a gun buy and asks those involved if they've taken a firearms safety course.
--> '''Reese:''' -->'''Reese:''' Take you, for instance. [[GangstaStyle You're holding the gun sideways. You can't aim it, and two, it'll eject the cartridge right into your face.]]



---> '''Reese:''' You should call the police. And a good divorce lawyer.

to:

---> '''Reese:''' --->'''Reese:''' You should call the police. And a good divorce lawyer.



---> "The entire department would be overhauled. Some employees would be transferred, some would be promoted. ''[looks at the {{Jerkass}} supervisor]'' Some would be fired."

to:

---> "The --->"The entire department would be overhauled. Some employees would be transferred, some would be promoted. ''[looks at the {{Jerkass}} supervisor]'' Some would be fired."



* In "Witness", Reese wonders if one of the POI's students intends to harm him.
--> '''Reese:''' "You know teaching can be a dangerous profession."
--> '''Finch:''' "Yes, I imagine espionage was a much safer choice, Mr. Reese."
--> '''Reese:''' [smirks]
* In "Super" Reese and Finch hack into the all the wireless networks in an apartment building so they can spy on the residents, one of whom is a young female doing yoga in full view of her webcam. In her underwear. She's... "healthy." Cue ''hilarious'' synchronized [[HeadTiltinglyKinky headtilt]].
** Also from "Super"--Three words: "Use the cushion!"

to:

* In "Witness", "Witness":
**
Reese wonders if one of the POI's students intends to harm him.
--> '''Reese:''' -->'''Reese:''' "You know teaching can be a dangerous profession."
--> '''Finch:''' -->'''Finch:''' "Yes, I imagine espionage was a much safer choice, Mr. Reese."
--> '''Reese:''' [smirks]
-->''[Reese smirks]''
* In "Super" "Super":
**
Reese and Finch hack into the all the wireless networks in an apartment building so they can spy on the residents, one of whom is a young female doing yoga in full view of her webcam. In her underwear. She's... "healthy." Cue ''hilarious'' synchronized [[HeadTiltinglyKinky headtilt]].
** Also from "Super"--Three Three words: "Use the cushion!"



*** Towards the end of the episode Finch actually uses one of the moves, hitting a man in the eye with his thumb. He stares at his thumb for a second and then wipes it off, disgusted.
* In "Legacy" Reese gets close to the lawyer he's investigating under the guise of suing his employer for work related injuries; she asks what his boss is like, and he proceeds to describe Finch (who he knows is listening in on the conversation) in unflattering terms.
--> '''Reese''': "[He's] very manipulative. ''Secretive.'' We've had some personality conflicts."
--> '''Andrea''': "I take it he has a lot of money?"
--> '''Reese''': "He's one of those rich loner types. The kind you'd call strange if he didn't have so much cash, so instead he's.... eccentric."
* In "Root Cause" a student at the public library spending time with a girl mistakes Finch and Zoe for a couple.
--> ''"Nice work, dude!"''

to:

*** Towards At the end start of the episode episode's climax, Finch actually uses one of the moves, hitting a man in the eye with his thumb. He stares at his thumb for a second and then wipes it off, disgusted.
* In "Legacy" "Legacy":
**
Reese gets close to the lawyer he's investigating under the guise of suing his employer for work related injuries; she asks what his boss is like, and he proceeds to describe Finch (who he knows is listening in on the conversation) in unflattering terms.
--> '''Reese''': -->'''Reese''': "[He's] very manipulative. ''Secretive.'' We've had some personality conflicts."
-->
"\\
'''Andrea''': "I take it he has a lot of money?"
-->
money?"\\
'''Reese''': "He's one of those rich loner types. The kind you'd call strange if he didn't have so much cash, so instead he's.... eccentric."
"\\
''[Finch smirks]''
* In "Root Cause" a Cause":
** A
student at the public library spending time with a girl mistakes Finch and Zoe for a couple.
--> ''"Nice -->''"Nice work, dude!"''



--> '''Carter:''' You know, I always pictured you in the back of my car. [[CasualKink In handcuffs.]]
--> '''Reese:''' Well, to each his own.

to:

--> '''Carter:''' -->'''Carter:''' You know, I always pictured you in the back of my car. [[CasualKink In handcuffs.]]
-->
]]\\
'''Reese:''' Well, to each his own.



* In "Baby Blue" Reese and Finch play daddy to a six month old.

to:

* In "Baby Blue" Blue":
**
Reese and Finch play daddy to a six month old.



--->''"It's no wonder they never catch anybody with these things."''
** Carter is exasperated when Finch, who is stocking up on baby supplies at the time, tells her that he kidnapped the baby because "she was in imminent danger of kidnapping."
-->'''Finch''': A baby went missing from a clinic in Washington Heights last night.\\
'''Carter''': Missing? It was stolen. By some weird-looking... [realizes] No. You didn't.

to:

--->''"It's -->'''Finch:''' It's no wonder they never catch anybody with these things."''
things.
** Carter is exasperated when Finch, who is stocking up on baby supplies at the time, tells her that he kidnapped the baby because "she was in imminent danger of kidnapping."
-->'''Finch''':
baby:
-->'''Finch:'''
A baby went missing from a clinic in Washington Heights last night.\\
'''Carter''': '''Carter:''' Missing? It was stolen. By some weird-looking... [realizes] ''[realizes]'' No. You didn't.\\
'''Finch:''' She was in imminent danger of kidnapping.
'''Carter:''' So ''you'' kidnapped her!?



--> '''Cashier''': "Congratulations! Is it your first?"
--> '''Finch''': [Frozen stare](and Carter has this "You're kidding me, right?" look on her face)

to:

--> '''Cashier''': -->'''Cashier''': "Congratulations! Is it your first?"
--> '''Finch''': [Frozen stare](and
first?"\\
''[Finch has a frozen stare while
Carter has this "You're kidding me, right?" look on her face)face]''



--> '''Reese''': ''[Points at father] "Da-da?" [Points at son] "Or da-da?"''

to:

--> '''Reese''': -->'''Reese''': ''[Points at father] "Da-da?" [Points at son] "Or da-da?"''



--->'''Finch''': How about a delicious bottle?
--->'''Reese''': Finch, are you there?
* In "Identity Crisis", Harold is obviously smitten with the female POI.
--->'''Finch''': We have to keep a closer eye on Jordan.
--->'''Reese''': "Jordan?" You're on a first name basis now?
--->'''Finch''': No, I'm just tired of using pronouns.

to:

--->'''Finch''': How about a delicious bottle?
--->'''Reese''':
bottle?\\
'''Reese''':
Finch, are you there?
* In "Identity Crisis", Crisis":
**
Harold is obviously smitten with the female POI.
--->'''Finch''': -->'''Finch''': We have to keep a closer eye on Jordan.
--->'''Reese''':
Jordan.\\
'''Reese''':
"Jordan?" You're on a first name basis now?
--->'''Finch''':
now?\\
'''Finch''':
No, I'm just tired of using pronouns.



* In "No Good Deed", Henry Peck spends several minutes ranting about how he's discovered that the government is spying on the entire country, but we get don't see who he's talking to until the end: cut to a shot of Fusco glancing disinterestedly around the room before [[ComicallyMissingThePoint asking Peck if he wants a soda]].
* In "Firewall", Carter, Fusco and Reese are chasing a car full of HR officers, Reese tells Carter to slow down....and blows up the HR officers car with a bomb. He then nonchalantly suggests they buy a drink sometime while Carter and Fusco stare at the flaming vehicle dumbstruck.
* In fact, any time Reese does something outrageously illegal in front of these two.

to:

* In "No Good Deed", Deed":
**
Henry Peck spends several minutes ranting about how he's discovered that the government is spying on the entire country, but we get don't see who he's talking to until the end: cut to a shot of Fusco it's Fusco, glancing disinterestedly around the room before [[ComicallyMissingThePoint asking Peck if he wants a soda]].
* In "Firewall", "Firewall":
**
Carter, Fusco and Reese are chasing a car full of HR officers, Reese tells Carter to slow down....and blows up the HR officers car with a bomb. He then nonchalantly suggests they buy a drink sometime while Carter and Fusco stare dumbstruck at the flaming vehicle dumbstruck.
*
vehicle.
**
In fact, any time Reese does something outrageously illegal in front of these two.



* "The Contingency": Reese quieting AngryGuardDog Bear by speaking Dutch. (Video [[http://www.graubaers-boker.com/ here.]])
** Finch's interactions with [[TeamPet said dog]] are half this and half heartwarming. In one instance, he makes the grave mistake of giving Bear a [[MostAnnoyingSound squeaky toy that annoys him to no end.]] How does he fix this? Remove the squeaker.

to:

* "The Contingency": Contingency":
**
Reese quieting AngryGuardDog Bear by speaking Dutch. (Video [[http://www.graubaers-boker.com/ here.]])
** Finch's interactions with [[TeamPet said dog]] are half this and half heartwarming. In one instance, he makes the grave mistake of giving Bear a [[MostAnnoyingSound squeaky toy that annoys him to no end.]] How does he fix this? Remove the squeaker.
]])



--> '''Leon''': It's a sex thing. You got a problem with that?
* In "Bad Code", some people have the [[SarcasmMode extremely smart]] idea of picking up a fight with [[{{Badass}} Reese]], and he [[CurbStompBattle handily defeats]] them. Cue the same people trying to pick up [[TooDumbToLive ANOTHER fight]] later:
--> '''Man''': Time for a re-match, [[TemptingFate and don't you try to sucker punch me agai—]]
-->([[CombatPragmatist Reese immediately sucker-punches him into submission]])

to:

--> '''Leon''': -->'''Leon:''' It's a sex thing. You got a problem with that?
* In "Bad Code", some Code":
** Some
people have the [[SarcasmMode extremely smart]] idea of picking up a fight with [[{{Badass}} Reese]], and he [[CurbStompBattle handily defeats]] them. Cue the same people trying to pick up [[TooDumbToLive ANOTHER fight]] later:
--> '''Man''': -->'''Man:''' Time for a re-match, [[TemptingFate and don't you try to sucker punch me agai—]]
-->([[CombatPragmatist
agai—]]\\
([[CombatPragmatist
Reese immediately sucker-punches him into submission]])



** When Reese and Carter are in Texas they leave Fusco to look after Bear. When the two of them go on a stakeout Fusco is sitting in the passenger seat of the car and talking to Bear who's in the drivers seat. This is rather amusing from a meta point of view, Fusco is normally the PluckyComicRelief for either Reese or Carter so the implication is that with them out of town he's Bear's PluckyComicRelief.
--> '''Hersh''': "That won't be a problem. Not exactly New York's finest working on this one."
* From "Masquerade", this conversation between Carter and Reese.
-->'''Reese:''' Why don't you wait in the car?
-->'''Carter:''' *unimpressed* Why don't ''you'' wait in the car?
-->'''Reese:''' Give me three and a half minutes.
-->'''Carter:''' Oh, please. There are at least ten guys in there.
-->'''Reese:''' [[OneManArmy ...Okay, four minutes.]]
** ...and later, after Carter shoots a member of the gang and saves Reese:
-->'''Carter:''' [[ActionGirl I got bored sitting in the car.]] And it took you longer than four minutes.
-->'''Reese:''' Well, this guy hit me over the head with a neon sign. Not very sportsmanlike, and none of them want to tell me where to find their pal Monty.
-->'''Carter:''' Yeah, that's why you should ask them before you knock them out, John.

to:

** When Reese and Carter are in Texas they leave Fusco to look after Bear. When the two of them go on a stakeout Fusco is sitting in the passenger seat of the car and talking to Bear who's in the drivers seat. This is rather amusing from a meta point of view, Fusco is normally the PluckyComicRelief for either Reese or Carter so the implication is that with them out of town he's Bear's PluckyComicRelief.
--> '''Hersh''': '''Hersh:''' "That won't be a problem. Not exactly New York's finest working on this one."
** When Reese and Carter are in Texas, they leave Fusco to look after Bear. When the two of them go on a stakeout, Fusco is sitting in the passenger seat of the car and talking to Bear, in the driver's seat. This is rather amusing from a meta point of view because Fusco is normally the PluckyComicRelief for either Reese or Carter, so the implication here is that with them out of town, he's Bear's PluckyComicRelief.
* From "Masquerade", this "Masquerade":
** This
conversation between Carter and Reese.
-->'''Reese:''' Why don't you wait in the car?
-->'''Carter:''' *unimpressed*
car?\\
'''Carter:''' ''[unimpressed]''
Why don't ''you'' wait in the car?
-->'''Reese:'''
car?\\
'''Reese:'''
Give me three and a half minutes.
-->'''Carter:'''
minutes.\\
'''Carter:'''
Oh, please. There are at least ten guys in there.
-->'''Reese:'''
there.\\
'''Reese:'''
[[OneManArmy ...Okay, four minutes.]]
** ...and later, ** Later, after Carter shoots a member of the gang and saves Reese:
-->'''Carter:''' [[ActionGirl I got bored sitting in the car.]] And it took you longer than four minutes.
-->'''Reese:'''
minutes.\\
'''Reese:'''
Well, this guy hit me over the head with a neon sign. Not very sportsmanlike, and none of them want to tell me where to find their pal Monty.
-->'''Carter:'''
Monty.\\
'''Carter:'''
Yeah, that's why you should ask them before you knock them out, John.



--> '''Finch:''' What's Sofia doing?
--> '''Reese:''' Her seventh vodka shot.
--> '''Finch:''' Do you plan to intervene?
--> '''Reese:''' I'm here to protect, not discipline. ''[Behind him, Sofia gets up on the bar.]'' Besides, it not like she's dancing on the-- ''[Turns around to see Sofia dancing on the bar]''

to:

--> '''Finch:''' -->'''Finch:''' What's Sofia doing?
-->
doing?\\
'''Reese:''' Her seventh vodka shot.
-->
shot.\\
'''Finch:''' Do you plan to intervene?
-->
intervene?\\
'''Reese:''' I'm here to protect, not discipline. ''[Behind him, Sofia gets up on the bar.]'' Besides, it not like she's dancing on the-- ''[Turns around to see Sofia dancing on the bar]''



* In "Bury the Lede", Reese has to get close to someone, but [[spoiler:since she's a reporter who is also investigating "the man in the suit",]] his normal methods are out of the question. Cue priceless dawning horror when he realizes Finch has created a false profile (complete with cute pictures of Bear!) for him on an online dating site. Finch is having way too much fun here.

to:

* In "Bury the Lede", Lede":
** Finch makes the grave mistake of giving Bear a [[MostAnnoyingSound squeaky toy that annoys him to no end.]] How does he fix this? Remove the squeaker.
**
Reese has to get close to someone, their latest number, but [[spoiler:since since she's a reporter who is also investigating "the man in the suit",]] suit", his normal methods are out of the question. Cue priceless dawning horror when he realizes Finch has created a false profile (complete with cute pictures of Bear!) for him on an online dating site. Finch is having way too much fun here.



** At one point, Reese has no other choice but to bring her back to his apartment. Finch is leaning back in his chair, resigned to the situation, before suddenly jumping up and exclaiming, "Shoot, I've got your dog!"
** When he gets there, he hides in the closet, popping out [[{{Beat}} a moment later]] and toss Bear his chew toy before darting back in...only to realize that all three walls are ''[[MoreDakka completely covered in]] [[WallOfWeapons weapons and ammunition]]''. His expression of bug-eyed horror is what really sells it. Gifs of the moment can be found [[http://relevanttosomeone.tumblr.com/post/70334911359/the-closet-of-mass-destruction-oh-how-i-miss-you here,]] [[http://adeadedskull.tumblr.com/post/52002130246/dont-insult-the-closet-of-mass-destruction here,]] [[http://gallifreyan-detective.tumblr.com/post/76373852313/when-will-you-ever-going-to-need-all-those and here.]]
---> '''Finch:''' When were you ever going to need ''all those''?!

to:

** At one point, Reese has no other choice but to bring her their number back to his apartment. Finch is leaning back in his chair, resigned to the situation, before suddenly jumping up and exclaiming, "Shoot, "Oh shoot, I've got your dog!"
** When he gets there, he hides in the closet, popping out [[{{Beat}} a moment later]] and to toss Bear his chew toy before darting back in...only to realize that all three walls are ''[[MoreDakka completely covered in]] [[WallOfWeapons weapons and ammunition]]''. His expression of bug-eyed horror is what really sells it. Gifs of the moment can be found [[http://relevanttosomeone.tumblr.com/post/70334911359/the-closet-of-mass-destruction-oh-how-i-miss-you here,]] [[http://adeadedskull.tumblr.com/post/52002130246/dont-insult-the-closet-of-mass-destruction here,]] [[http://gallifreyan-detective.tumblr.com/post/76373852313/when-will-you-ever-going-to-need-all-those and here.]]
---> --> '''Finch:''' When were you ever going to need ''all those''?!



---> '''Finch:''' I wish you wouldn't do that here.\\

to:

---> --> '''Finch:''' I wish you wouldn't do that here.\\



* At the beginning of "The High Road", Bear licks one of the doughnuts on Finch's desk; Finch reprimands him, and then gets distracted when Reese arrives and doesn't throw it away. Any guesses as to which doughnut Reese chooses?
--> '''Reese''': "Little stingy on the sprinkles."

to:

* "The High Road":
**
At the beginning of "The High Road", the episode, Bear licks one of the doughnuts on Finch's desk; Finch reprimands him, and then gets distracted when Reese arrives and doesn't throw it away. Any guesses as to which doughnut Reese chooses?
--> '''Reese''': "Little -->'''Reese:''' Little stingy on the sprinkles."



** Later, Reese {{Lampshades}} the show's premise.
--> '''Finch''', talking about the POI: "How can he afford this lifestyle?"
--> '''John''': "Maybe he met a reclusive billionaire."
** [[FemmeFatale Zoe]] and [[BadassInANiceSuit John]] are legendary [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snarkers]]. They [[UndercoverAsLovers pretend to be married]] for the week, and pose as a suburban couple. ''Glorious'' snarking at ''everything under the light of the sun'' proceeds, including, but not limited to:
--> '''Zoe''': ''[looking around the idyllic suburban neighborhood]'' You remember when you saved me from being tortured and killed by corporate hitmen? Consider us even.
--> '''John''': Does that mean you don't want me to carry you over the threshold?

--> '''Zoe''': When this is over, I might have to fight you for custody of [[CanineCompanion the dog]].

--> '''Zoe''': ''[after John draws his gun when the doorbell rings]'' John, it's a doorbell. Let's try not to shoot any Girl Scouts on our first day, okay?

--> '''Zoe''': What do these people do for fun?
--> '''John''': ''[shrugs]'' Got any ideas?
--> ''[GilliganCut to Reese and Zoe playing poker and drinking scotch with loud music on the background]''
--> '''Zoe''': Suburbs might not be so bad after all.

to:

** Later, Reese {{Lampshades}} {{lampshade|Hanging}}s the show's premise.
--> '''Finch''', talking about
premise:
-->'''Finch:''' Hard to see how [the POI] had
the POI: "How can he afford this lifestyle?"
--> '''John''': "Maybe
money to move east, much less support a city lifestyle.\\
'''Reese:''' Maybe
he met a reclusive billionaire."
billionaire?
** [[FemmeFatale Zoe]] and [[BadassInANiceSuit John]] are legendary [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snarkers]].{{Deadpan Snarker}}s. They [[UndercoverAsLovers pretend to be married]] for the week, and pose as a suburban couple. ''Glorious'' snarking at ''everything under the light of the sun'' proceeds, including, but not limited to:
--> '''Zoe''': -->'''Zoe:''' ''[looking around the idyllic suburban neighborhood]'' You remember when [[Recap/PersonOfInterestS01E06 you saved me from being tortured and killed by corporate hitmen? hitmen?]] Consider us even.
--> '''John''':
even.\\
'''John:'''
Does that mean you don't want me to carry you over the threshold?

--> '''Zoe''': -->'''Zoe:''' When this is over, I might have to fight you for custody of [[CanineCompanion the dog]].

--> '''Zoe''': -->'''Zoe:''' ''[after John draws his gun when the doorbell rings]'' John, it's a doorbell. Let's try not to shoot any Girl Scouts on our first day, okay?

--> '''Zoe''': -->'''Zoe:''' What do we do now [that they have eyes on their number]?\\
'''Reese:''' ...We wait.\\
'''Zoe:''' Ah, the party never stops when you're around.
What do these people do for fun?
--> '''John''': ''[shrugs]''
fun?\\
'''Reese:''' Beats me.
Got any ideas?
-->
ideas?\\
''[GilliganCut to Reese and Zoe playing poker and drinking scotch with loud music on the background]''
-->
background]''\\
'''Zoe''': Suburbs might not be so bad after all.



---> '''Reese:''' ''(to Fusco)'' Thanks for your help.\\

to:

---> --> '''Reese:''' ''(to Fusco)'' Thanks for your help.\\



--> '''Carter:''' His GPS logs? [[SarcasmMode Which I'm sure you obtained by submitting an official request to the department.]]\\

to:

--> '''Carter:''' His GPS logs? [[SarcasmMode Which I'm sure you obtained by submitting an official request to the department.TLC.]]\\



* Finch's reaction to his first ride on the back of a speeding motorcycle in "Shadow Box" is this; he thought it was exhilarating and wants to buy one for himself! Reese's facial expression when Finch tells him is hilarious!

to:

* "Shadow Box":
**
Finch's reaction to his first ride on the back of a speeding motorcycle in "Shadow Box" is this; he thought it was exhilarating and wants to buy one for himself! Reese's facial expression when Finch tells him is hilarious!



-->'''Fusco''': We gonna bust John out of [Rikers] or not?\\
'''Finch''': Oh, it sounds like such a ''bad'' idea when ''you'' say it.
** Northern Light's chief hitman Hersh is tasked by the special counsel to access Rykers Island Penetentiary to find and kill Reese. How does he get in? Straight after he's finished talking to his boss, with a utterly stoic face, Hersh draws his sidearm and empties it in the air in front of dozens of civilians and police officers. The utterly straight face he keeps while doing so and getting arrested sells it.

to:

-->'''Fusco''': -->'''Fusco:''' We gonna bust John out of [Rikers] or not?\\
'''Finch''': '''Finch:''' Oh, it sounds like such a ''bad'' idea when ''you'' say it.
** Northern Light's chief hitman Hersh is tasked by the special counsel to access Rykers Island Penetentiary to find and kill Reese. How does he get in? Straight after he's finished talking to his boss, [[TheComicallySerious with a an utterly stoic face, face]], Hersh draws his sidearm and empties it in the air in front of dozens of civilians and police officers. The utterly straight face he keeps while doing so and getting arrested sells it.



** Also, Finch recruiting Fusco to do John's work. HilarityEnsues. The show repeatedly [[GilliganCut Gilligan Cuts]] to his numerous misfortunes at random, which include getting pepper sprayed in the eyes while trying to explain his job, an epic shootout, and the gem of the crown: The ''freaking lingerie model'' falling in love with our [[KavorkaMan short, stubby]] [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold lovable heroic policeman]]. '''She kisses him.''' Cue Fusco completely freezing in absolute shock.
* "Dead Reckoning"
** Mark Snow explaining to Reese and Stanton that the reason he had that bomb dropped on Ordos was so he could ensure they both ended up dead. Yeah. That obviously worked out really well, Mark.
-->'''Stanton''': So why the Cruise missile?
-->'''Snow''': Had to be sure.
-->'''Stanton''': ''[smirks at the man she has strapped to a bomb vest]'' And how's that working out for you?

to:

** Also, Finch recruiting Fusco to do John's work. HilarityEnsues. The show repeatedly [[GilliganCut Gilligan Cuts]] {{Gilligan Cut}}s to his numerous misfortunes at random, which include getting pepper sprayed in the eyes while trying to explain his job, an epic shootout, and the gem of the crown: The ''freaking lingerie model'' falling in love with our [[KavorkaMan short, stubby]] [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold lovable heroic policeman]]. '''She kisses him.''' Cue Fusco completely freezing in absolute shock.
* "Dead Reckoning"
Reckoning":
** Mark Snow explaining to Reese and Stanton that the reason he had that bomb dropped on Ordos was so he could ensure they both ended up dead. [[SarcasmMode Yeah. That obviously worked out really well, Mark.
Mark]].
-->'''Stanton''': So why the Cruise missile?
-->'''Snow''':
missile?\\
'''Snow''':
Had to be sure.
-->'''Stanton''':
sure.\\
'''Stanton''':
''[smirks at the man she has strapped to a bomb vest]'' And how's that working out for you?
18th Jan '16 12:12:55 AM acdc827
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Finch looks around his office.
*** And then at the end of the episode:
-->'''Finch:''' Now, about that bug in my office...\\

to:

Finch looks around his office.
***
office warily.
**
And then at the end of the episode:
-->'''Finch:''' Now, about that bug in my office...library..\\
This list shows the last 10 events of 466. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.PersonOfInterest