History Funny / NeroWolfe

[[AC:''Literature/TooManyCooks'']]

* ''Literature/MightAsWellBeDead'' (1956)

[[AC:''Literature/BeforeMidnight'' (1955)
* ''Literature/BeforeMidnight'' begins
with Archie reading poetry verses from a big contest. Wolfe smugly reveals the answer to the riddle contained in one verse but angrily goes silent when Archie recites a tougher one (which an InsufferableGenius suspect later easily solves). Wolfe correctly deduces that Archie is trying to annoy him into sending Archie out of the house for the evening so he can go on a date without having to ask for an evening off.

* In ''Literature/DeathOfADoxy,'' Wolfe -- who ''hates women'' to the point of leaving his office in panic if a female suspect cries, and refuses ''any'' personal contact at all -- instructs Archie to find a nightclub singer named Julie Jaquette and bring her in for questioning. When she arrives, she immediately struts up to Wolfe's desk, performing an improvised cabaret routine (the lyrics begin, "Big man, go-go, big man, go big!") He stares at her, completely befuddled, then accuses Archie of having staged it. She interrupts to tell him that "Nobody suggests anything to me!" Wolfe is intrigued, continues the conversation, and eventually shows open admiration of her, having recognised that "your opinion of our fellow beings and their qualities is somewhat similar to mine."
* Along the same lines, when Wolfe resurfaces after disappearing for many months in ''Literature/InTheBestFamilies'', he needs a safe place to bring Archie up to speed on what he's discovered and been doing. He winds up escorting Lily Rowan to her home, under the pretense of a tryst with her. When she sprays him with her perfume in the back seat of a car to add to the plausibility of the scenario, his reaction is delightful.
* Any time Archie pokes fun at Wolfe by copying his PurpleProse to a mystified bystander (it happens fairly often). A paraphrased example from ''Literature/TooManyCooks'':
--> "Beats me. Must have something to do with the guest being the jewel on the cushion of hospitality."
* Wolfe being trapped on a boulder by an angry bull at the beginning of ''Literature/SomeBuriedCaesar.''
* Archie realizing that he did temporarily send a killer (who he thought was innocent due to an alibi) out of town on the army's dime during one of the two World War II stories and trying to figure out how to justify that in his report.
* Wolfe and Archie's disguises in ''Literature/TheBlackMountain,'' especially when Wolfe quips that he considered making Archie a deaf-mute to explain his inability to speak the local language. Wolfe's constant refusal to refer to the capital as Titograd (and how he incorporates that into his character) also count.
** Earlier in ''The Black Mountain'' there's a small slice of BlackComedy following the tragic murder of recurring character [[spoiler:Marko Vukcic]], when Archie observes that despite the many decades Wolfe has spent investigating murders in New York, he needs detailed directions to find the city morgue.
* Hattie Annis, the client in ''Counterfeit for Murder,'' is a CoolOldLady who embodies the 1960s equivalent of "gives no fucks."
** In the same story, one of the suspects, a struggling actor, is reluctant to admit that his alibi is a babysitting job.
* In ''Literature/IfDeathEverSlept'': While Archie is undercover at a clients home, Wolfe has Orrie Cather pretend to be Archie when the suspects come by his office. Orrie takes no small amount of pleasure in this, while Archie is less than amused. Later, when Orrie's cover is blown, Wolfe tells him to stop pretending, because "One Archie is enough."
* At the end of ''Literature/TheLeagueOfFrightenedMen'', a novelist Wolfe has crossed vows that he will inspire a character doomed to suffer a violent death in his next book and stalks out of the room. Both Wolfe and Archie get in a zinger at each other as a result

* Wolfe's hilariously futile training regimen at the beginning of World War Two, when he wants to enlist in the army as a common soldier. Apparently it counts InUniverse as well, as Theodore mentions that the boys on the street laughed at Wolfe when they saw him.
* ''Literature/BeforeMidnight'' begins with Archie reading poetry verses from a big contest. Wolfe smugly reveals the answer to the riddle contained in one verse but angrily goes silent when Archie recites a tougher one (which an InsufferableGenius suspect later easily solves). Wolfe correctly deduces that Archie is trying to annoy him into sending Archie out of the house for the evening so he can go on a date without having to ask for an evening off.
--> ''That's the trouble of working for and living with a really great detective.''
* In ''Literature/TooManyCooks'', the local DA has been romantically pursuing a girl who Archie has also taken a shine to... and unfortunately for the DA, he arrested the girl's father, one of the {{Supreme Chef}}s of the title, for the murder of one of the other ones. Much to his mortification, this has resulted in one hell of a cold shoulder, as Archie is amused to note at one point:

* ''Literature/TooManyCooks'' also has plenty of amusing WorldOfHam moments from the gathered chefs, including one stating that if it was possible for him to resurrect that AssholeVictim just by lifting his finger, then he would shove his hands as far down as he could.
* ''Literature/SomeBuriedCaesar'' has Archie thrown in jail and starting a prisoners union just for the hilarity of it, with demands like "Collective bargaining on all controversial matters except date of release and possessions by out members of objects which could be used for attack or escape", "Abolition of all animals smaller than rabbits", "Daily Inspection of bedding by a committee of public-spirited citizens, with one member a woman" and "Food. (Food may be defined as nutritive material absorbed or taken into the body of an organism which serves for purposes of growth, work or repair, and for the maintenance of the viral processes). [[LethalChef We don't get any]]."
* In ''Literature/SomeBuriedCaesar'', Lily directs Archie to some fricassee prepared by a woman whose husband [[AwfulWeddedLife left her four times for her bad disposition]] but always came back because of her cooking.

* In ''Death of a Doxy,'' Wolfe -- who ''hates women'' to the point of leaving his office in panic if a female suspect cries, and refuses ''any'' personal contact at all -- instructs Archie to find a nightclub singer named Julie Jaquette and bring her in for questioning. When she arrives, she immediately struts up to Wolfe's desk, performing an improvised cabaret routine (the lyrics begin, "Big man, go-go, big man, go big!") He stares at her, completely befuddled, then accuses Archie of having staged it. She interrupts to tell him that "Nobody suggests anything to me!" Wolfe is intrigued, continues the conversation, and eventually shows open admiration of her, having recognised that "your opinion of our fellow beings and their qualities is somewhat similar to mine."

* Wolfe and Archie's disguises in ''The Black Mountain,'' especially when Wolfe quips that he considered making Archie a deaf-mute to explain his inability to speak the local language. Wolfe's constant refusal to refer to the capital as Titograd (and how he incorporates that into his character) also count.

* In ''If Death Ever Slept'': While Archie is undercover at a clients home, Wolfe has Orrie Cather pretend to be Archie when the suspects come by his office. Orrie takes no small amount of pleasure in this, while Archie is less than amused. Later, when Orrie's cover is blown, Wolfe tells him to stop pretending, because "One Archie is enough."

* Wolfe's hilariously futile training regimen at the beginning of World War Two, when he wants to enlist in the army as a common soldier.

* Along the same lines, when Wolfe resurfaces after disappearing for many months in ''In the Best Families'', he needs a safe place to bring Archie up to speed on what he's discovered and been doing. He winds up escorting Lily Rowan to her home, under the pretense of a tryst with her. When she sprays him with her perfume in the back seat of a car to add to the plausibility of the scenario, his reaction is delightful.

* Wolfe being trapped on a boulder by an angry bull at the beginning of ''Some Buried Caesar.''

* ''Literature/SomeBuriedCaesar'' has Archie thrown in jail and starting a prisoners union just for the hilarity of it, with demands like "Collective bargaining on all controversial matters except date of release and possessions by out members of objects which could be used for attack or escape", "Abolition of all animals smaller than rabbits", "Daily Inspection of bedding by a committee of public-spirited citizens, with one member a woman" and "Food. (Food may be defined as nutritive material absorbed or taken into the body of an organism which serves for purposes of growth, work or repair, and for the maintenance of the viral processes). [[LethalChef We don't get any]]."

* Any time Archie pokes fun at Wolfe by copying his PurpleProse to a mystified bystander (it happens fairly often). A paraphrased example from ''Too Many Cooks'':

* ''Literature/SomeBuriedCaesar'' has Archie thrown in jail and starting a prisoners union just for the hilarity of it, with demands like "Collective bargaining on all controversial matters except date of release and possessions by out members of objects which could be used for attack or escape", "Abolition of all animals smaller than rabbits", "Daily Inspection of bedding by a committee of public-spirited citizens, with one member a woman" and "Food. (Food may be defined as nutritive material absorbed or taken into the body of an organism which serves for purposes of growth, work or repair, and for the maintenance of the viral processes). [[LethalChef We don't get any]]."

* Hattie Annis, the client in ''Counterfeit for Murder,'' is a CoolOldLady who embodies the 1950s equivalent of "gives no fucks."

* In the 1966 novel ''Death of a Doxy'' Wolfe -- who 'hates women' to the point of leaving his office in panic if a female suspect cries, and refuses ''any'' personal contact at all -- instructs Archie to find a nightclub singer named Julie Jacquette and bring her in for questioning. When she arrives, she immediately struts up to Wolfe's desk, performing an improvised cabaret routine (the lyrics begin, "Big man, go-go, big man, go big!") He stares at her, completely befuddled, then accuses Archie of having staged it. She interrupts to tell him that "Nobody suggests anything to me!" Wolfe is intrigued, continues the conversation, and eventually becomes openly solicitous of her, having recognised that "your opinion of our fellow beings and their qualities is somewhat similar to mine."
* Along the same lines, when Wolfe resurfaces after disappearing for many months in ''In The Best Families'', he needs a safe place to bring Archie up to speed on what he's discovered and been doing. He winds up escorting Lily Rowan to her home, under the pretense of a tryst with her. When she sprays him with her perfume in the back seat of a car to add to the plausibility of the scenario, his reaction is delightful.

* Wolfe being trapped on a boulder by an angry bull at the beginning of Some Buried Ceaser.

* Wolfe and Archie's disguises in Black Mountain, especially when Wolfe quips that he considered making Archie a deaf-mute to explain his inability to speak the local language. Wolfe's constant refusal to refer to the capital as Titogard (and how he incorporates that into his character) also count.
* Most of Counterfeit Murder, particularly Hattie the clients antics and one of their suspects (a struggling actors) reluctance to admit that is alibi was a babysitting job.

* Along the same lines, When Wolfe resurfaces after disappearing for many months in ''In The Best Families'', he needs a safe place to bring Archie up to speed on what he's discovered and been doing. He winds up escorting Lily Rowan to her home, under the pretense of a tryst with her. When she sprays him with her perfume in the back seat of a car to add to the plausibility of the scenario, his reaction is delightful.

* Archie realizing that he did temporarily send a killer (who he thought was innocent due to an alibi) out of town on the army's dime during one of the two world war II stories and trying to figure out how to justify that in his report.
* Wolfe and Archie's disguises in black mountain, especially when Wolfe quips that he considered making Archie a deaf-mute to explain his inability to speak the local language. Wolfe's constant refusal to refer to the capital as Titogard (and how he incorporates that into his character) also count.

* Along the same lines, When Wolfe resurfaces after disappearing for many months in ''InTheBestFamilies'', he needs a safe place to bring Archie up to speed on what he's discovered and been doing. He winds up escorting Lily Rowan to her home, under the pretense of a tryst with her. When she sprays him with her perfume in the back seat of a car to add to the plausibility of the scenario, his reaction is delightful.

* See also the [[Funny/ANeroWolfeMystery funny moments]] from the [[Series/ANeroWolfeMystery TV adaptations.]]

* see also {{Funny.A Nero Wolfe Mystery}}.

* In the A&E adaptation of ''Disguise for Murder'', Wolfe commandeers Archie's typewriter to write a note to the killer ... much to Archie's frustration, since Wolfe pecks out each individual letter at a glacial pace. Archie is seen drumming his fingers against the table in a 'typing' formation and a stoic expression on his face as if it's all he can do to stop himself yelling "For God's sake, just let ''me'' do it."
** The time and technology might be seventy years behind, but anyone who's had to sit and watch a less computer-savvy friend, family member or acquaintance agonisingly try to complete a task that they'd be able to do within a minute will be able to relate to Archie's weary frustration perfectly.