History Funny / MassEffectHumanRevolution

** Aaand what better way to end a Breather Episode than with a skilled application of ChandlersLaw, except... In a group filled with badass - a CowboyCop, a FemmeFatale, a MadScientist, two {{Playful Hacker}}s and ''an entire squad of Marines'' - the jerks with guns are ''not'' there hunting ''any'' of the above, but...

** Aaand what better way to end a Breather Episode than with a skilled application of ChandlersLaw, except... the jerks with guns are ''not'' there hunting the supercops, the Marines, or even the FemmeFatale or the [[Playful Hacker}}s, but...

--->'''''DO YOU HEAR ME, JAKE ARMITAGE?!'''''

** Aaand what better way to end a Breather Episode than with a skilled application of ChandlersLaw, except... the jerks with guns are ''not'' there hunting the supercops, the Marines, or even the FemmeFatale, but...

--->'''Zev''': ''Our people? We made the terrible mistake of making our robot servants ugly. So naturally, when they starting asking existential questions, we decided to kill them all. But what if we had made the Geth too look like this Brea?'' <sigh> ''The moment they asked "WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove?', we would have had SEX with them. Our entire adult population caught up in one massive worldwide orgy! We would still have our world then...''\\

--->'''Zev''': ''Our people? We made the terrible mistake of making our robot servants ugly. So naturally, when they starting asking existential questions, we decided to kill them all. But what if we had made the Geth too look like this Brea?'' <sigh> ''The moment they asked "what is this thing you call love?', we would have had SEX with them. Our entire adult population caught up in one massive worldwide orgy! We would still have our world then...''\\

* Chapter 27: Drebin and Zev get into a discussion on sexbots.
-->'''Zev''': ''Our people? We made the terrible mistake of making our robot servants ugly. So naturally, when they starting asking existential questions, we decided to kill them all. But what if we had made the Geth too look like this Brea?'' <sigh> ''The moment they asked "what is this thing you call love?', we would have had SEX with them. Our entire adult population caught up in one massive worldwide orgy! We would still have our world then...''\\

* Chapter 27: The BreatherEpisode on Illium comes to a violent end via application of ChandlersLaw, except the jerks with guns are ''not'' there hunting the supercops, the Marines, or even the FemmeFatale, but...
-->'''''DO YOU HEAR ME, JAKE ARMITAGE?!'''''
* Chapter 27: Hein's sentence, as follows.
--> "Bah! Once again my plans are foiled by vaginas!"
** Try and read that without laughing. ''Try.''

-->'''''DO YOU HEAR ME, JAKE ARMITAGE?!'''''

-->'''Hein''': ''FIRMWARE UPDATE OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE! WOO!''

--> '''Udina''': "Well?! What are you staring at?!"
---> ''Beat''
--> '''Joker''': "Well, Jenkins here really, really wants to join C-Sec, and..."

-->'''Garrus''': Say, what was that soup you ate? It smelled kinda familiar.\\
'''Walker''': It was [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edible_bird%27s_nest yan wo]].\\
'''Garrus''': ...Oh, okay. What's that?\\
'''Jensen''': Congealed bird spit in broth.\\
'''Garrus''': Isn't she a little old for that?\\
'''Jensen''': ...I'm not sure I get what you mean.\\
'''Garrus''': Right, I should explain: Turian females generate a nutrient rich spit that throughout a pregnancy. It congeals quickly. They make hundreds of crunchy dry cakes out of it. When the baby's born it is fed the stuff for the first few months of its life... What, don't human females do that for their kids?\\
'''Jensen''': Sorta. Their breasts swell with a nutrient rich liquid.\\
'''Garrus''': Oh. Well, I see Walker is off to a great start on that.\\
'''Walker''': Excuse me. You do know that [[ImStandingRightHere I'm sitting right here]] and that I can hear you, right?\\
'''Jensen''': Don't worry, I'm sure Vakarian's interest in your chest is purely scientific.

-->'''Hein''': "FIRMWARE UPDATE OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE! WOO!"

-->'''Hein''': "You won't be landing in ice water this time."
-->'''Jensen''': "Well, that's a relief. Swimming in the Arctic was not fun."
-->'''Hein''': "It's far more likely you'll land in the lava."
-->'''Jensen''': "Wait, wha--"
-->'''Hein''': "GERONIMO!" <launches Adam's drop pod>

-->''Uh oh.''
-->"Nice tent, there, old man!" said Vega as he came in the infirmary, holding a plate of food. Wrex shot up in embarrassment and attempted to hide his throbbing erection.
* Chapter 26: Matriarch Aethyta gets a little impromptu help from Jensen in chasing a intruder through her bar's air ducts... which results in Jensen dragging out [[VideoGame/{{Shadowrun}} Jake Armitage]] AKA ''Conrad Verner.''
-->"...Oh, Hi Adam! How're things?"

--> "Not you, ''anyone'' but you.

* Chapter 27: It seems like a lull in the action is ended via a little impromptu application of ChandlersLaw, except the jerks with guns are ''not'' there hunting the supercops, the Marines, or even the FemmeFatale, but...
-->"DO YOU HEAR ME, JAKE ARMITAGE?!"

* Chapter 28: It seems like a lull in the action is ended via a little impromptu application of ChandlersLaw, except the jerks with guns are ''not'' there hunting the supercops, the Marines, or even the FemmeFatale, but...

* Chapter 28: Matriarch Aethyta gets a little impromptu help from Jensen in chasing a intruder through her bar's air ducts... which results in Jensen dragging out [[VideoGame/{{Shadowrun}} Jake Armitage]] AKA ''Conrad Verner.''
-->"...Oh, Hi Adam! How're things?"
* Chapter 29: It seems like a lull in the action is ended via a little impromptu application of ChandlersLaw, except the jerks with guns are ''not'' there hunting the supercops, the Marines, or even the FemmeFatale, but...

* Chapter 29: It seems like a lull in the action is ended via a little impromptu application of ChandlersLaw, except the jerks with guns are ''not'' there for supercops, the Marines, or even the FemmeFatale, but...

* Chapter 28: Matriarch Aethyta gets a little impromptu help from Jensen in chasing a intruder through her bar's air ducts... which results in Jensen dragging out [[VideoGame/Shadowrun Jake Armitage]] AKA ''Conrad Verner.''

* Chapter 28: Matriarch Aethyta gets a little impromptu help from Jensen in chasing a intruder through her bar's air ducts... which results in Jensen dragging out Jake Armitage AKA ''Conrad Verner.''

* Chapter 27: Drebin and Zev get into a discussion on sexbots.

* Chapter 26: Drebin and Zev get into a discussion on sexbots.

-->"Nice tent, there, old man!" said Vega as he came in the infirmary, holding a plate of food. Wrex shot up in embarrassment and attempted to hide his throbbing erection.

-->'''Hein''': "you won't be landing in ice water this time."

-->'''Jensen''': "Wait, wha-"
-->'''Hein''': "GERONIMO!" <launches adam's drop pod>

->To Wrex, it kinda felt like a massage, and it was then that he noticed that human women looked a lot like Asari. Especially this one, with the soft firm hands and a body that held up nicely despite her advanced age, and the generous mouth and then he realized that it had been a very long time and...

->''Uh oh.''

->"Nice tent, there, old man!" said Vega as he came in the infirmary, holding a plate of food. Wrex shot up in embarrassment and attempted to hide his throbbing erection.

-->'''Hein''': "GERONIMO!" <launches adam's drop pod>

'''Walker''': It was [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bird%27s_nest_soup yan wo]].\\

-->'''Hein''': "FIRMWARE UPDATE OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE! WOO!"

* The SeinfeldianConversation at Huang's.

* Hein's sense of timing.

'''Jensen''': Don't worry, I'm sure Vakarian's interest in your chest is purely scientific.

--> Beat