History Funny / MassEffect2

** [[StealthPun Doubly amusing]] for [[GeniusBonus players with a computer science background]], since later in that mission Legion uses the "sudo" command to take over some turrets. Of course the geth don't use [[UsefulNotes/MicrosoftWindows Windows]]; they're clearly a {{UsefulNotes/Unix}} system.

-->'''Joker''' : It seems like Garrus has finally worked that stick out of his butt, but now he's trying to beat guys to death with it.\\
'''Joker''' : No surprise, Mordin acts superior to everyone. Like he's got tenure at FU.\\

'''Garrus::''' It wasn't easy... I ''really'' had to work at it.

* Pretty much anything that comes out of [[DeadpanSnarker Matriarch Aethyta's]] mouth.

*** The better part? Legion mentions earlier that geth communicate with each other at light speed. Meaning that the five second beat between Shepard's question and Legion's answer is, from a geth's perspective, much longer, and the best excuse Legion can of think is: "No data available".

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R5NyiqOlx0 Mordin sings]] [[Theatre/ThePiratesOfPenzance Gilbert and Sullivan]]. "Always had me do the [[MotorMouth patter songs]]."

** At the end, there's a [[{{Beat}} long delay between the end of Mordin's song and Shepard's response]]. For any other conversation, it would sound like an extreme case of PausedInterrupt, but after ''this'' conversation, it sounds like Shepard is ''just'' as speechless as the player. Even if the player picks a response immediately, there's that pause. Then the professor raises a glove to his mouth: "Ahem."

** Made even funnier if you overhear the next part of the conversation. The quarian mentions how a little dry spell won't kill her, because, worst-case scenario, she's always got [[ADateWithRosiePalms that nerve-stimulation package]] built into her suit. The turian goes on talking for a moment, [[DoubleTake then stops with a shocked "What?"]] The quarian is then about to fire it up--''in public''--when she catches Shepard eavesdropping.

** Tali's hesitation on whether or not to get the... [[ADateWithRosiePalms nerve stimulation program]]. And after installing it and uninstalling it several times, she finally settles down. After installing the ''pro edition'' of the program. On another note, one of the things she installs and ''keeps'' is a holo about human courtship rituals. Notably, she downloads regardless of whether Shepard is male or female, or whether Shepard is in a romance with her, leaving it unclear if Tali simply was trying to do research on human interaction or if she was doing a ''[[CovertPervert different]]'' kind of research.

'''Mordin:''' ''[[UnwantedHarem Constantly]]''. Very awkward. Skin tone apparently attractive by turian standards. Subset of krogan deviants enjoys salarian flexibility. More cartilage than skeletal structure. Asari offers... intriguing, actually. Wonder why. Trans-species pheromones unlikely to work. ''([[VerbalTic inhales]]'' Must be neurochemical.\\

*** Unless you do not play in English - not all foreign voice actors can keep up with the task, the German Mordin being an outstanding example.

** Which has led numerous players to hope for [[http://nerfnow.com/comic/435/ a moment like this]] come [=ME3=]. It does not, sadly.

** The krogan shaman certainly thinks so: "Ba ha ha ha! I ''like'' this human! [[AsskickingEqualsAuthority S/He understands!]]"

** Shepherd's response? "Most of the time, I'm not being stupid about it." Note that he/she said ''most'' of the time.

* If you visit the wreckage of the first Normandy... you immediately receive an assignment to collect 20 dog tags that are scattered everywhere. Yes, for old time's sake, you just got slapped with one last Mass Effect 1-style collection quest!

* At the beginning of Garrus's loyalty mission, you confront a volus with a pair of krogan bodyguards. When he realizes that you're not there to buy his services, he panics and orders his guards to shoot. If you ''don't'' take the renegade interrupt to gun them down first, Garrus simply gives them a DeathGlare, causing the two of them to [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere decide that they don't want to mess with you]]. The volus indignantly shouts "You're not getting paid for this!" as they leave, then laments the uselessness of bodyguards who won't actually guard you.

** Even better is his response to Fem!Shep's proposition: He slightly misunderstands at first, then understands perfectly and is completely blindsided by her brazenness.

** It's all the funnier if you're in the middle of romancing your squad representative from either species, where the issues discussed are actually a minor plot point. Especially a Male!Shep romancing Tali, as the conversation involves a male turian telling a female quarian not to date humans (as part of his attempt at romance). For maximum awkwardness, have Tali (a female quarian) and Garrus (a male turian) as your squadmates when this happens.

* The name of Admiral Zaal'Koris', a quarian captain, ship is the [[ShoutOut Qwib]]-[[Literature/{{Berserker}} Qwib]]. While funny enough, it makes his full name Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib. Even better, he laments that he can't change the ship's name to a respectable quarian name, like Iktomi or Defranzh. Quarian naming conventions include the name of the ship on which that quarian is crew preceded by "vas." So, for example, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Now sound the other two out in the same fashion. Take a moment and think about what his full name would be then.[[note]]To wit: '''Vasectomy''', as the procedure for surgically blocking '''vas deferens''' - the tubes that carry semen from testicles during ejaculation.[[/note]]

*** The better part? Legion mention earlier that geth comunicated each other at light speed. Meaning that the five seconds' beat between Shepard's question and Legion's answer is, by geth perspective, much longer, and the best excuse Legion can think is: "No data available".

** The mere fact that the ''[[BubbleBoy qua]][[IllGirl rians]]'' are, according to Grunt, one of the toughest races of the galaxy, is very funny in itself. Though it could be due to their implants or to their suits [[WildMassGuessing rather than sheer physical toughness]].

'''Joker:''' What?! You're crazy! You [[ShoutOut start singing]] [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey "Daisy Bell"]] and I'm done!\\

'''Joker:''' Great. [[GenreSavvy See, this is where it starts]], and when we're all just [[ShoutOut organic]] [[Film/TheMatrix batteries]], guess who they'll blame? "This is all Joker's fault. What a tool he was! I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord!"\\

* Pretty much anything that comes out of [[CoolOldLady Matriarch]] [[DeadpanSnarker Aethyta's]] mouth.

--->"[[NoodleIncident Nobody came out of that one looking pretty.]]"[[note]]Considering what Wrex said about eating turian food in ''3'' (it gave him the runs, no less), [[FridgeLogic it's probably for the best]] [[{{Squick}} we don't know what happened]]...[[/note]]

--->'''Thane:''' [[https://youtu.be/EE2TZAdoaS8?t=3m17s Sleep well...]] [[ShoutOut and dream]] [[Film/ThePrincessBride of bulbous women]].

** The VI for the Hammerhead is programmed to alert you to many things... including, while on that planet, ''if there's a nice view''. ([[SceneryPorn There is,]] [[SincerityMode too!]])

'''Liara:''' [[LampshadeHanging At least]] [[SceneryPorn the view is nice.]]

'''Liara:''' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall That security upgrade]] [[TheyChangedItNowItSucks made a lot of people unhappy.]]

*** Legion's games include "[[ShoutOut N7]] [[VideoGame/MedalOfHonor Code of Honor]]: [[VideoGame/CallOfDuty Medal of Duty]]", [[VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft Galaxy of Fantasy]], [[VideoGame/GrandTheftAuto Grim Terminus Alliance]] and his info on this one is win: ''Fleet and Flotilla: Interactive Cross-Species Relationship Simulator'': "Based on the Bestselling Vid!". Playtime: 75 hours, 6 minutes. Player Score: 15 (Hopeless)". It also has 4 infractions in ''Galaxy Of Fantasy''. Three of them are insane feats that the game admins considered to be impossible without VI aid, though he somehow got them overturned, but the fourth was a suspension for unsportsmanlike conduct (taunting players). He did not file a dispute. Also, his gamer handle is "[=Infiltrait0rN7=]".

*** After Grunt read ''Literature/TheOldManAndTheSea'' [[HiddenDepths all the]] [[GeniusBruiser way through]], he then searched for "sharks", suggesting that he didn't know what a shark was while he read it.

** Zaeed insists that "That woman needs our help!", as if you ''hadn't'' just witnessed her [[DamselOutOfDistress taking out three]] [[MechaMook YMIR mechs]] [[CutscenePowerToTheMax with one Warp]]... ''seconds after being awakened from cryogenic stasis''.

* A sign on the Citadel warns newcomers that the station is [[ShownTheirWork utilizing centrifugal gravity,]] [[GeniusBonus and requests that you refrain from jumping or throwing objects, which will gravitate towards the windows]].

'''Shepard:''' [walking into the doorway and yelling out into hallway] [[{{Jerkass}} HEY! EVERYONE!]] [[InsaneTrollLogic THIS STORE DISCRIMINATES AGAINST THE POOR!]]\\

* You can get a space hamster for Shepard's cabin. It looks like... [[CaptainObvious a hamster.]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin In space.]] And if you try to interact with it, it comes out of its house and squeaks at you. No, not as in regular hamster squeaking - it ''literally comes out [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud and says "squeak"]]'' at you.
** Well, of course it does. It's a [[ShoutOut Miniature]] [[VideoGame/BaldursGate Giant]] [[Creator/BioWare Space]] [[Creator/JimCummings1952 Hamster]], not a normal hamster. [[FridgeLogic You think it'd just squeak like a normal hamster]]?

-->'''Grunt:''' [[BattleCry I... AM...]] [[MoodWhiplash worthless!]]

-->'''Turian Councilor:''' [[MemeticMutation Ah, yes.]] [[SarcasmMode "Reapers."]] [[NoMereWindmill The immortal race of sentient starships allegedly waiting in dark space. We have]] [[CassandraTruth dismissed that claim.]]

** Well, of course it does. It's a [[ShoutOut Miniature]] [[VideoGame/BaldursGate Giant]] [[Creator/BioWare Space]] [[Creator/JimCummings Hamster]], not a normal hamster. [[FridgeLogic You think it'd just squeak like a normal hamster]]?

-->'''C-Sec Customs Officer:''' You should leave your personal synthetic assistant at home. They're not allowed on public shuttles anymore.\\
'''Legion, Geth Infiltrator:''' Geth do not ''intentionally'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa-Ont6rOGQ infiltrate]].

*** He also downloads ''[[Literature/AFarewellToArms A Farewell to Arms]]'', only to delete it almost immediately. Perhaps he thought the title meant something else.

---> '''Shepard''' ([[HypocriticalHumor While]] [[HypocriticalHumor Legion]] [[HypocriticalHumor is just off-camera]]): You were sending '''geth''' parts to the Flotilla?!

-->'''EDI:''' ...''Really'', Commander?
-->'''Shepard:''' *launches another one*
-->'''EDI:''' (with audible eye-roll) [[AnalProbing Probing Uranus.]]

'''Mordin:''' ''[[UnwantedHarem Constantly]]''. Very awkward. Skin tone apparently attractive by turian standards. Subset of krogan deviants enjoys salarian flexibility. More cartilage than skeletal structure. Asari offers... intriguing, actually. Wonder why. Trans-species pheromones unlikely to work. *[[VerbalTic inhales]]* Must be neurochemical.\\

---> "Trying to determine how scale-itch got onto Normandy. Sexually transmitted disease, only carried by varren. Implications... unpleasant."\\