History Funny / MalcolmInTheMiddle

'''Dewey:''' And I hid it under Mom's pillow!\\

'''Francis:''' Richie! Which part of “No hurting my brothers” didn’t you understand?\\

-->'''Richie:''' Okay kid, you got 3 seconds to tell me, or I’m gonna pound you—\\

'''Malcolm:''' [[WhamLine I'd say you're still dreaming, Dad.]]\\

'''Can 1:''' Don't listen to him!\\

-->'''Malcolm:''' I had to think of the one place they'd never think of looking. I had to give it to the one person they'd never think I'd give it to! I did the most brilliant thing of all; I gave it to Dewey.\\

* The entire scene with Craig having to deal with an UnsatisfiableCustomer who is upset a hot-dog chew toy has mustard on it.

* Reese gets shown a bunch of war souvenirs by his grandfather. His first reaction to seeing a grenade is to ''pull the pin'', only for the grandfather to scream, "THIS IS LIVE GRENADE!" HikarityEnsues.

* Reese gets shown a bunch of war souvenirs by his grandfather. His first reaction to seeing a grenade is to ''pull the pin'', only for the grandfather to scream, "THIS IS LIVE GRENADE!"

** When Malcolm and Dewey try to find ways to honor Reese, Dewey realizes the best way to do that was to do what Reese would do, cause mayhem. They decide ruining a lame art fair is the best way. We see them on the roof of a building near the art fair, using a device that drops Jaime's used diapers on people at the fair. Cue the participants screaming in disgust.

* Lois, Francis, and Piama, in an attempt to get rid of [[RacistGrandma Ida]], call over Hal's BlackBestFriend Abe. They tell him that Lois' mother is in town, and he happily replies that whenever his mother visits him she always brings him pie.

--->'''Hal:''' Francis, make sure that Malcolm does not betray me as he is prone to do.

-->"I made a discovery! By mixing blue and yellow you can make an entirely new color! I'm gonna call it... ''Blellow!''"

-->'''Stevie:''' I can't feel my legs.\\

'''Lois:''' I was doing my makeup in the rear view mirror, and I ran over your golf clubs!\\

-->'''Grandma Ida:''' You do this to torture me? To hurt me?\\

-->'''Craig''' ''(notices he has to screw the airplane parts together)'': Dammit!! What aisle are the screwdrivers in!?!

-->'''Malcolm & Reese:''' (blindly celebrating their scientific breakthrough and hopping around like idiots) We have asbestos in our ceiling! We have asbestos in our ceiling! ({{beat}}) ([[ExplainExplainOhCrap it finally dawns on the brothers this is NOT a good thing]]; cue cut to the entire house being treated for asbestos removal)

-->'''Hal:''' ''*wins Mega Jackpot*'' Ha! What do you say to ''that'', huh!?
-->'''Malcolm:''' [[WhamLine I'd say you're still dreaming, Dad.]]
-->''*Hal, shocked, turns to see three garbage cans*''
-->'''Can 1:''' Don't listen to him!
-->'''Can 2:''' This is real!
-->'''All Three, In Harmony:''' We would not lie to ''yooooooouuuuu!''

-->'''Francis:''' You can't tell me you can't feel the energy!
-->'''Native American Man:''' [[BerserkButton You white boys are all the same]]. [[SarcasmMode I've got dark skin, so I must dance with the bears and listen to the spirit of the wind]]! I got news for you, pal: I work for a living, I'm a Baptist and I'm proud of it! Oh, and by the way, I have only one word for snow...''SNOW!''

* In “Smunday”, Lois is sick with the flu and thinks that it’s Sunday (it’s actually Monday) So Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey decide to skip school. They then get a call from Francis because he's worried that Lois will find out about a letter from the University of Southern Alabama involving a bill that details the extensive damages he's done to its swimming pool by driving a backhoe in it during his prank to Marlin Academy. They agree to hide the letter for him, but after discovering that he ratted on them to Lois about them selling Dewey’s bike to Francis’ friends (which ultimately got them grounded for 2 months), Reese and Malcolm are furious, and decide to pretend to give the letter to Lois to scare Francis. But Francis knew they would do something like this, so he sent his friends to get the letter from them. It’s then revealed that Malcolm OutGambitted Francis, and gave a fake letter to his friends. So when Reese asks where the real letter is...
-->'''Malcolm:''' I had to think of the one place they’d never think of looking. I had to give it to the one person they’d never think I’d give it to! I did the most brilliant thing of all; I gave it to Dewey.\\
'''Dewey:''' And I hid it under Mom’s pillow!\\

* The Halloween episode, where the boys decide to launch a diaper off a giant slingshot. They start chanting "Diaper!" and then fire. All we get is a reaction shot as they stop chanting, and Francis says, "Uuugh! No more of those." The boys just silently nod in agreement.

* In "Hal's Sleepwalks", Malcolm writes a song to play on his guitar and all he ends up doing is unintentionally adding new emo lyrics to the Meow Mix jingle, which his family picks up on right away.

* Malcolm writes a song to play on his guitar and all he ends up doing is unintentionally adding new emo lyrics to the Meow Mix jingle, which his family picks up on right away.

* In the episode “Tutoring Reese”, Reese is being threatened into remedial class because of his low grades, and figures the teacher is out to get him. Malcolm decides to takes his test for him and he still fails. Later finding out that the teacher really ''is'' out to get Reese and when he shows up at the house and talks with Lois and Hal, Malcolm confronts him and accidentally admits that he took the test for Reese.

** It was that fact that was enough for Lois and Hal to figure out that the teacher was out to get Reese and through well timed Francis begging to come home, the episode ends with everyone but Dewey and Lois, on the roof repairing it. ''Including Mr. Woodward''.

* Everything about Bryan Cranston's performance.

* ''Malcolm films Reese'' leads to Reese being humiliated to the whole school when Malcolm's movie is shown, since it reveals Reese's deepest feelings and hopes. Everyone at school starts mocking him for having a wishing tree. Malcolm locks himself into the principal's office and turns on the PA system, choosing to make this even by admitting his own, most shameful secret. And then goes through every single student's file, revealing ''their'' most shameful secret to the whole school, making things really even.
** In the beginning of the episode, Hal and Lois make love despite the baby being nearby, Hal turns on his stereo and says "At this age Babies can't remember anything." Cue Reese, Malcolm and Dewey going through PTSD as soon as they hear the song.

* Malcolm spends the ColdOpen scraping the most disgusting things off the floor, the garage, and the back of the fridge onto a sandwich. Then he finally sits down to eat it and Reese immediately swoops in to steal it and take the first bite, just as Malcolm planned.

* In “Smunday”, Lois is sick with the flu and thinks that it’s Sunday (it’s actually Monday) So Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey decide to skip school. They then get a call from Francis because he's worried that Lois will find out about a letter from the University of Southern Alabama involving a bill that details the extensive damages he's done to it's swimming pool by driving a backhoe in it during his prank to Marlin Academy. They agree to hide the letter for him, but after discovering that he ratted on them to Lois about them selling Dewey’s bike to Francis’ friends (which ultimately got them grounded for 2 months), Reese and Malcolm are furious, and decide to pretend to give the letter to Lois to scare Francis. But Francis knew they would do something like this, so he sent his friends to get the letter from them. It’s then revealed that Malcolm OutGambitted Francis, and gave a fake letter to his friends. So when Reese asks where the real letter is...