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* "Discussion problems in group living. Also known as, 'pay your half of the rent or I'm kicking you out of the apartment!'"
* "Exposition is go!"
* "The smile of a man who licks your photograph every night."
* "School spirit equals modest cheerleader outfits."
* All the jokes about how they talk up Bob Corby.
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* "This is the worst ''Fast and the Furious'' movie since [[TakeThat the last one]]."
* "Oh no, Bill from ''The Bottle and the Throttle'' is behind the wheel again!"
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* "Geez, how is a 9-minute film rivaling ''Film/{{Manos|TheHandsOfFate}}'' for the number of driving shots?"

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* "Geez, how is a 9-minute film short rivaling ''Film/{{Manos|TheHandsOfFate}}'' for the number of driving shots?"
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* "You know, I don't believe this is a real forest fire. It looks nothing like the one from ''Film/{{Birdemic}}''."
* "Geez, how is a 9-minute film rivaling ''Film/{{Manos|TheHandsOfFate}}'' for the number of driving shots?"
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* "Oh, thank God the StockFootage will stop the fire."
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* "Just a Spark: The Vapora story!"
* When a character starts speaking with a French accent, Linkara calls him "WebVideo/{{Benzaie}}".
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*
-->'''Kid''': There's no rule saying he can't kill himself if he wants to.
-->'''Linkara''': OH GOD!
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* "Let's play another game. Maybe one where rules aren't so important." "Dudes, [[ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes Calvinball]]!"
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* "Yeah, you can't have fun in cold places. [[SelfDeprecation Living in Minnesota, I would know.]]"

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* "I'll never find a hat as nice as Linkara's."
*
-->'''Housewife''': Remember, I haven't got your dream kitchen to make things easier. Mine's strictly the nightmare type.
-->'''Linkara''': Rotting carcasses, blood oozing from the walls, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and the garbage disposal isn't working!]]



--->'''Linkara''': I think the problem here has less to do with husbands, and more to do with George.

to:

--->'''Linkara''': -->'''Linkara''': I think the problem here has less to do with husbands, and more to do with George.
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* "Comic books? [[HypocriticalHumor Who the hell]] [[SelfDeprecation talks about comic books?]]"
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* During Marley's visit:
---> '''Scrooge:''' Speak words of comfort to me, Jacob Marley. Speak words of comfort!
--->'''Will:''' *hoarsely, as Marley* Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...
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* Every time they start singing. In particular, during the redition of "God Save The Queen", they start singing "My Country Tis Of Thee" and then shout "AMERICA!!!! WHOOO!!!"
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[[/folder]]

[[folder: Scrooge]]
* When Scrooge sees his own grave...
-->'''Scrooge:''' EBENEZER SCROOGE!
-->'''Linkara:''' Somewhere, a gopher turns around dramatically.
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--->'''Linkara''': I think the problem here has less to do with husbands, and more to do with George.
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* The constant mockery of just how incompetent the father is.
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[[foldercontrol]]
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* The hamster.
---> '''Linkara''': *as hamster* Oh god, just put me out of my misery now, the crew hasn't fed me for three weeks! *the hamster escapes* FREEDOOOM!
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* When the narrator mentions how you make unwise decision, driving while drunk.
---> '''Linkara''': *as narrator* Like activating your rocket jets and revealing your secret alien technology.
* "You see here, Bill here has a sickness. A sickness called 'homosexuality'."
-> "Oh geez the narrator is going off about them again! Did you take away his whiskey?"
-> " If you want to learn more about the homosexual, check out my other short called 'Boys Beware'."
* "And now we go into the [[IronMan Tony Stark]] scale of drunkenness."
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* His constant joking of the narrator's strange drawl.
---> '''Narrator''': Alcohol is not a stimulant, but a sedative.
---> '''Linkara''': *as the narrator* As you may have noticed I've taken a few sedatives myself.
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** And when that screen was still on after a few seconds
---> '''Linkara''': Yes, I think were sober enough to read that, can you move on- *screen changes* oh.
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* His constant mocking of how the film keeps skipping frames: "Geez, at the rate we're losing frames, this short's gonna be over in two minutes."
** Culminating in this joke at the end:
--->'''Linkara''': And remember: being a good citizen is about parents who make cookies, or if your name is Harvey. Barring that, you could always— Or even just— Thank you and good ni—.
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* ''(singing)'' I'll...make a man...out of you!

to:

* ''(singing)'' [[{{Disney/Mulan}} I'll...make a man...out of you!you!]]
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* ''(singing)'' I'll...make a man...out of you!
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* "Just a few more hours until I can drink." "But it's eight thirty!" "I know what I said!"
* Whenever a character yells "You didn't! You didn't!" Linkara can be heard yelling "Did too! Did too!!"
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* "''Sharks do not obey the laws of man''"

to:

* "''Sharks ''"Sharks do not obey the laws of man''"man"''
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* "''Sharks do not obey the laws of man''"
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[[folder: Word to the Wives]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Holiday from Rules]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Bottle and the Throttle]]
* "The Bottle and the Throttle: the gripping love story of our time."
* Upon seeing a caption that the film was produced in cooperation with the Culver City, California police department: "But not in cooperation with Culver's restaurants. They ''want'' you to drink and drive."
* "Flannel shirts happen to everyone, Bill."
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Let's Be Good Citizens at School]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Just a Spark]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Beginning to Date]]
* About 5 minutes in, the protagonist thinks about what he'll say as he gets to the door.
-->'''Narrator:''' His next problem is, what to say when he gets to Helen's door?. Bill wonders who's going to open the door.
-->'''Linkara:''' ''I masturbate to your picture every night--'' ''(the father answers the door)'' Oh.
-->'''Narrator:''' ...Now let's do it again, and suppose that Helen opened the door.
-->'''Linkara:''' ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice I masturbate to your father's picture every night--]]'' ''(Helen answers the door)'' Oh.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Gossip]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: What about School Spirit?]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Thought for Food & Arranging a Buffet Supper]]
[[/folder]]

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