History Funny / JustAMinute

* In one 2012 episode, Sue Perkins gets the subject of Dadaism, and gives a lengthy speech on what it entails and where it originated, getting more and more melodramatic, finally saying "And it's gone way, way, way--[[OhCrap ARGH!]]" Cue the buzzer from Paul Merton, after which Nicholas reveals to her that she had been speaking for ''fifty-nine seconds.''

* DavidMitchell, on his first appearance, started with the first subject and was buzzed on the grounds of hesitation by Clement Freud before he'd said a word. Nicholas then ruled it was not a valid challenge and gave David a point, prompting this:
-->'''David''': That's actually a rate of point scoring of infinity per word! I'll never keep it up!
** Clement's challenge merits a mention as well:
--->'''Clement''': You know, people think, because someone hasn't played the game before, that you should be kind to them. But he hesitated! It was a most obvious hesitation!
:: Note that the challenge happened after ''less than half a second''. (Needless to say, it was not meant seriously and was simply Clement's way of "welcoming" David to the show.)

* In a 1974 episode, Derek Nimmo was given the subject of "old Nick", and inevitably took the bait to launch into an energetic diatribe against Nicholas (as if portending the chaos ahead, when Nicholas announced the subject, a passing emergency siren could be heard in the background):
-->'''Derek:''' That great fat slob who sits up there on this podium! Week after same seven days! And adjudicates about this programme! Great big gross ugly man! ''[buzz, which Derek ignores]'' I loathe him! "Old Nick", I shout every week when I come to the studio! How can I look at old Nick getting more and more elderly... ''[buzz, which Derek ignores again]'' every time I see him the great eyes sagging, the dreary ears like a frog, ears like a frog... ''[huge audience laughter]'' with an 84-year-old mother!\\

* During a round on 'Green Fingers', Clement Freud ends up with the subject and begins talking about how he has herbaceous borders that would outwit, outply, outperform... at which point Paul Merton challenges for deviation:
-->'''Paul:''' I don't know that a herbaceous border can outwit anybody! If I saw a herbaceous border offering me a cheap villa in Spain, I don't think I'd go for it. I don't think I'd find myself sitting in Madrid 3 years later going, "Well, I rue the day I took a business deal with that herbaceous border!" It's deviation a herbaceous border can't outwit anybody. A tulip, now there's another thing!\\

* RossNoble's claim for the benefit of foreign listeners that [[BritishAccents his Geordie accent is "the poshest in all the land."]]

* One time (well, probably more than one time), Peter Jones talked for quite a while under the impression that he had the subject when he didn't.
** In Barry Cryer's debut in 1974, he was speaking on the apt subject "what it's like the first time", and told a joke about misunderstanding the direction "stand in boiling water" the first time he tried to cook a tin of soup. Derek Nimmo challenged him, but was told by Nicholas that his challenge was wrong. However, as soon as Nicholas said "starting now", Peter Jones tried to clarify Barry's joke, and after Ian Messiter stopped and re-started the watch, Peter ''went on talking'' over Barry until the whistle went.

* In a 1974 episode, Derek Nimmo was given the subject of "old Nick", and inevitably took the bait to launch into an energetic diatribe against Nicholas:
-->'''Derek:''' That great fat slob who sits up there on this podium! Week after same seven days! And adjudicates about this programme! Great big gross ugly man! ''[buzz, which Derek ignores]'' I loathe him! "Old Nick", I shout every week when I come to the studio! How can I look at old Nick getting more and more elderly... ''[buzz, which Derek ignores again]'' every time I see him the great eyes sagging, the dreary ears like a frog, ears like a frog... ''[huge audience laughter]'' with an 84-year-old mother!
-->'''Nicholas:''' The round of applause was for the glass of water that I threw over Derek Nimmo!
** As if portending the chaos ahead, when Nicholas announced the subject of "old Nick", a passing emergency siren could be heard in the background.

'''Nicholas:''' Kenneth Williams will start again, you have 21 seconds on Immanuel Kant starting...\\
'''Kenneth:''' Well I can't now because it's just ruined me! ''[buzz]'' I mean it's just ruined me!\\

'''Nicholas:''' Clement Freud has challenged again.\\

'''Nicholas:''' Yes he repeated "thoughts", but don't worry Kenneth, carry on on Immanuel Kant, and you have 14 seconds starting now.\\

'''Nicholas:''' And Derek Nimmo's challenged.\\

'''Nicholas:''' Derek Nimmo's challenged.\\

-->'''Kenneth:''' Of course, the other th- oh, dear! ''[buzz]''
-->''[audience laughter]''
-->'''Nicholas:''' Kenneth Williams will start again, you have 21 seconds on Immanuel Kant starting...
-->'''Kenneth:''' Well I can't now because it's just ruined me! ''[buzz]'' I mean it's just ruined me!
-->'''Nicholas:''' Clement Freud has challenged.
-->'''Clement Freud:''' Deviation, he wasn't talking about Immanuel Kant. He was talking about his personal ruination.
-->'''Nicholas:''' ''[overlapping with Clement]'' Right, Kenneth Williams, you continue with Immanuel Kant, you have 18 seconds starting now.
-->'''Kenneth:''' But it'd be impossible for me to collect my thoughts, and all the thoughts that need collecting- ''[buzz]''
-->'''Nicholas:''' Clement Freud has challenged again.
-->'''Clement:''' Repetition of "thoughts".
-->'''Nicholas:''' Yes he repeated "thoughts", but don't worry Kenneth, carry on on Immanuel Kant, and you have 14 seconds starting now.
-->'''Kenneth:''' Well you see, he- ''[buzz]''
-->'''Nicholas:''' And Derek Nimmo's challenged.
-->'''Derek Nimmo:''' What's happening!?
-->''[audience laughter]''
-->'''Nicholas:''' Kenneth Williams must continue on Immanuel Kant because he was thrown by all three of you, he has 13 seconds starting now.
-->'''Kenneth:''' He makes a definite- ''[buzz]''
-->'''Nicholas:''' Derek Nimmo's challenged.
-->'''Derek:''' D'you mind if I go home? There doesn't seem to be a point, does there really!

-->'''Paul Merton''': One minute can be fast, slow, medium paced... (buzz)
-->'''Nicholas Parsons''': Ross challenged.
-->'''Ross Noble''': No, it's a minute.

-->'''Nicholas:''' I know there was, but he didn't challenge for that.
-->'''Paul:''' No, but I've just done.
-->'''Nicholas:''' Yes, but Peter got in first. I disagree with the challenge, actually, Peter, so Clement has to keep the subject, even though Paul's challenge was correct -- mind you, that doesn't mean to say you can't challenge later -- twelve seconds left, starting now.
-->'''Clement:''' Candied, caramelised-- ''(buzz)''
-->'''Nicholas:''' Paul Merton, you've challenged?
-->'''Paul:''' Repetition of 'restaurant'.
-->'''Nicholas:''' Yes, that's right. Ten seconds--
-->'''Paul:''' ...That was one of the most bizarre rulings I've ever come across!
-->'''Nicholas:''' Well, you challenged him for repetition of 'restaurant'.
-->'''Paul:''' Yes, I did.
-->'''Nicholas:''' And he did repeat 'restaurant'.
-->'''Paul:''' He did.
-->'''Nicholas:''' That's right.
-->'''Paul:''' But you wouldn't give it to me before.
-->'''Nicholas:''' But he -- you -- let's get this -- let's -- I mean, there are simple rules, which we follow -- he did have 'restaurant'...
-->'''Paul:''' Nicholas, in an earlier programme, you accused me of living 'in a world of my own'.
-->'''Nicholas:''' I try to live in the world of ''Just a Minute'', which is ''particularly'' difficult, making these obstuse -- er decisions on...
-->'''Paul:''' ''Obstuse?''
-->'''Nicholas:''' And obtruse! [[RantInducingSlight I tactfully suggested that you could challenge later, you did challenge later,]] [[MotorMouth you got in there with another repetition of]] ''[[MotorMouth (devolves into gibberish)]]'' and Clement Freud is right, so actually I'm entitled now to say to you, yes, that is right, 'cause Clement Freud did repeat 'restaurant' before and so you get a point for a correct challenge to take away from Clement Freud and--''(devolves into gibberish again)''
-->'''Derek Nimmo:''' ...He's finally flipped!
-->'''Nicholas:''' Ten seconds on ginger, starting now!
-->'''Paul:''' Could I have that last ruling in writing?

-->'''Kenneth:''' Are you taking the rise?!
-->'''Nicholas:''' Yes!
-->'''Kenneth:''' ''(brief hesitation)'' ...Well!

* In one of the 2012 TV episodes, Nicholas announces the next subject as "The Owl and the Pussycat", and starts reciting the entire poem. The whole panel looks increasingly concerned, culminating in all four walking off set with Marcus Brigstocke holding up a piece of paper with "GET HELP!" written on it.

* In one episode, Clement Freud has three seconds and hesitates before starting. Peter Jones challenges, and Nicholas rules that it's an incorrect challenge, and Clement now has two seconds. Cue a Williams-level [[RantInducingSlight rant]] from the normally quiet Peter, about how could an entire second have been used up if it wasn't hesitation? ''At the same time'', Derek Nimmo is complaining that there's something wrong with his buzzer.
-->'''Nicholas''': He did speak, he said a definite phrase, the full content I can't remember, but...\\
'''Peter''': You're the chairman and you can't remember what the last speaker said?\\
'''Derek''': It's going to be a rotten series, I can tell you!\\
'''Peter''': I don't know! I think, you know, his buzzer isn't working, you can't remember! What chance have we got?

* In a 2010 episode, Ross Noble goes on a very surreal tangent after Tony Hawks challenges him. Eventually Nicholas gives Ross the benefit of the doubt, and when the clock starts again he is so taken aback to still have the subject that he is immediately buzzed for hesitation.

With over four decades' worth of episodes, ''JustAMinute'' has plenty of moments from which to choose, but here are some noteworthy ones.

* With the subject [[SchmuckBait "The Chairman's Darkest Secret,"]] Clement appears to be weighing several options and decides on an allegation about [[ButYouScrewOneGoat a goat Nicholas keeps tied up somewhere]]. Paul buzzes: "That's no secret, we all know about that!"

** Along similar lines, she was in an episode with Stephen Fry once when he inevitably started talking about the Latin root of the subject, and she buzzed to say that she was feeling "educationally insecure" and to [[{{Pygmalion}} try to sell him a bunch of violets]].

** Similarly, Paul given the subject of "telepathy". The ensuing long silence was as funny as it was predictable.

* Paul saying he'd been to see Clement's "one-man tribute to RobbieWilliams," with a BriefAccentImitation of Clement saying, "Let Me Entertain You." ([[CallBack A little later]], when Clement got a subject away from him, Paul retaliated with, "Your Robbie Williams show was rubbish.")
** In the same episode, Paul says something about Nicholas's abilities as a host that causes the audience to oooh, to which he says, [[FlippantForgiveness "It's no good booing him, he's doing his best!"]]
** It was a good episode (August 25th, 2003). Ross Noble stumbles on a great pun with the subject "chipmunks": they're holy men that worship fried food, in chippies... or friaries.

** In Barry Cryer's debut in 1974, he was speaking on the apt subject "what it's like the first time". Peter Jones challenged him, was told by Nicholas that his challenge was wrong, then ''went on talking anyway'' until the whistle went.

** In one episode, Barry Cryer was on the panel. Peter Jones challenged him, was told by Nicholas that his challenge was wrong, then ''went on talking anyway'' until the whistle went.

-->'''Nicholas:''' And obtruse! [[RantInducingSlight I tactfully suggested that you could challenge later, you did challenge later,]] [[MotorMouth you got in there with another repetition of]] ''[[MotorMouth (devolves into gibberish)]]'' and Clement Freud is right, so actually I'm entitled now to say to you, yes, that is right, 'cause Clement Freud did repeat 'restaurant' before and so you get a point for a correct challenge to take away from Clement Freud and--''(devolves into gibberish)''

* In one 1993 episode, Peter Jones challenged Clement Freud for hesitation while he was speaking about "ginger", and Paul Merton pointed out "And repetition -- he repeated 'restaurant'."
-->'''Nicholas:''' Yes, he did, but he didn't challenge for that.

-->'''Nicholas:''' Yes, but Peter got in first -- and I disagree with that challenge -- so Clement keeps the subject, even though Paul's challenge was correct -- mind you, I don't mean to say you can't challenge later -- twelve seconds, Clement, starting now.
-->'''Clement:''' Candied, caramelised--
-->''(buzz)''
-->'''Nicholas:''' Paul, you've challenged?

-->'''Paul:''' I did.

-->'''Nicholas:''' I try to live in the world of ''Just A Minute'', which is ''particularly'' difficult, making these -- obstuse decisions...

-->'''Nicholas:''' And obtruse! [[RantInducingSlight I gave the suggestion that you could challenge later, you did challenge later,]] [[MotorMouth you got in there with another repetition while Clement had the subject]], so I'm entitled to say to you now, yes, it's right, 'cause Clement Freud did repeat 'restaurant' before and so you get a point for a correct challenge to take away from Clement Freud and--''(devolves into gibberish)''

-->'''Paul:''' Can I have that last ruling in writing?

* In one episode, Peter Jones challenged Clement Freud for hesitation, and Paul Merton pointed out "And repetition -- he repeated 'restaurant'."

-->'''Nicholas:''' Yes, but Peter got in first--and I disagree with that challenge--so Clement keeps the subject, even though Paul's challenge was correct--mind you, I don't mean to say you can't challenge later--twelve seconds, Clement, starting now.
-->'''Clement:''' Well, I--

-->'''Nicholas:''' Well, you challenged him for 'restaurant'.

-->'''Paul:''' He did. But you wouldn't give it to me before.
-->'''Nicholas:''' But he--you--I mean, let's--let's get this--there are simple rules, which we follow--did he have 'restaurant'?

-->'''Nicholas:''' I try to live in the world of ''Just A Minute'', which is ''particularly'' difficult, making these--obstuse decisions...

-->'''Derek:''' ...He's finally flipped.