History Funny / JonTronSeasonFour

'''Jon:''' OH MY GOD! She got freaking decked in the face! [[LeftItIn They left it in, they left it in!]] "Back pain's all gone, but I'm working on the eye socket. I need a compression belt for, you know, this part of my cranium!"

-->'''Alien!Jon''': I am simply asking a normal human question out of curiosity not to mine data [[AC:HUMAAAAANNNNNN]].

[[Funny/JonTronSeasonOne Season 1]] | [[Funny/JonTronSeasonTwo Season 2]] | [[Funny/JonTronSeasonThree Season 3]] | '''Season 4'''

[[folder:Gwyneth Paltrow's: The Goop Lab]]
* Jontron starts the video in his basement bunker, stating that the show will take place entirely in there until further notice. He then shows off a can of baked beans he stuck googly eyes on and opens it up for sustenance, talking to it as if it's alive and can feel pain.
* Before the Goop show begins proper, Jon brings up a news story where a Goop employee claimed that the [[UsefulNotes/CoronavirusDisease2019Pandemic Coronavirus]] didn't exist, and was subsequently laid off for her statement. Jon compares it to al Qaeda cutting off ties with ISIS due to the latter being too extreme for even them.
* Jon states that the show's premise is basically the Goop staff being put through a gauntlet of guinea pig experiments, which becomes uncomfortably evident quite early on.
* The first episode of the show, rather bizarrely, focuses on [[MushroomSamba magic mushrooms]]. The episode goes from confusing to disturbing rather quickly, as Jon becomes even more uncomfortable as the episode goes on.
** As the group is sat in a circle and ready to take the mushrooms, the organizer of the gathering tells the group that they can have any reactions to the hallucinations that they want, as long as they don't strip or engage in sexual activity. This draws quite a bit of bemusement from Jon.
** The organizer pulls out what looks like a rather large flashlight-sized blunt composed of mushrooms crammed together. Jon scoffs at how puny of an offering it is to "the spirit of the mushroom" and pulls out his own blunt, which is easily the size of ''his leg'', and lights it with a blowtorch, leading to severe coughing when he (somehow) takes a drag. His blunt appears to be entirely made of paper, with seemingly no drugs or chemicals in it, and after smoking it, he's wearing a very large mushroom cap which almost immediately falls off.
--->Jon: ''[amongst coughing, in a fake Californian accent]'' Yeah, the spirit of the mushroom!
** The peak of the discomfort arises from when one of the members, Kevin, is crying about seeing the light, and when the two assistants help him up off of the floor, one of them is vigorously rubbing his chest.
** Jon is bewildered that Kevin apparently can't remember if it was 36 years or 39 years that he carried those burdens for and assumes that the drugs caused some sort of brain damage.
* The second episode focuses on the group members swimming through incredibly cold water.
** The event's host, Wim Hof, thinking that gasping in freezing cold water would be involuntary amuses Jon.
** Wim Hof tells them that they can adapt to the cold water, and become "the alchemist of life."
[[/folder]]

* Before the Goop show begins proper, JonTron brings up a news story where a Goop employee claimed that the [[UsefulNotes/CoronavirusDisease2019Pandemic Coronavirus]] didn't exist, and was subsequently laid off for her statement. Jon compares it to al Qaeda cutting off ties with ISIS due to the latter being too extreme for even them.

** Jon says that Sergio mixed up Jamestown with Jonestown (you know the place where Jim Jones forced over 900 innocent members commit suicide), that Jon has to clerify was laced with cyanide.

** Jon gives an in-depth look into the reasons that the pilgrims wanted to leave England: To escape the religious persecution of them wanting the religious freedom, to restrict the religious freedom. So, basicly, a cult. And that they were a "more radical" version of the Puritans.

* Jontron starts the episode in his basement bunker, stating that the show will take place entirely in there until further notice. He then shows off a can of baked beans he stuck googly eyes on and opens it up for sustenance, talking to it as if it's alive and can feel pain.

* Jon tests out the body sphere, and it pops and deflates under his weight. Jon looks to the camera as a midi version of "Bring Me To Life" plays.

--> '''Pilgrim!Jon''':"Ah, fuck Jim did you bring the map, cause I'm not 100% on this, but I think we might be literally nowhere in the known world, at all, and all we have is no food and these Dutch-buckle hats."

** Jon realizes that the actual name the pilgrims came up with for themselves was "The Sepratists", a name [[SarcasmMode you definitely want in your country]].

* Creator/{{Linkara}}'s cameo in the crystal ball of the "Psychic Vampire." As in, a psychic who happens to be a vampire, not a [[AmbiguousSyntax vampire who happens to be psychic]].

*** But then things get bizarre as, upon doing his quick change, OJ remarks "Why do you think they call me 'Juice'?". This leads Jon to theorize that OJ ''legitimately'' thinks that.

** After the intro, it is revealed that on Day 21 of his fitness regime, Jon apparently overworked his arms to the point they don't work properly. This culminates in a few amusing physical gags such as talking on the phone by balancing it between his cheek and shoulder, missing the cradle when hanging up the phone, and smashing a fine china pot of artisanal coffee on the floor when he attempts to pour it (prompting an AtomicFBomb).
** On Day 25, Jon goes to retrieve a pair of scissors from a drawer and ends up spontaneously suplexing the entire desk with one arm. Jon's reactions make it even funnier. He eventually retrieves from the drawer... a stapler.

* Jon is heartbroken that his friends sabotaged his diet, and also confused because he somehow gained all of his fat back despite only eating one chicken nugget. It's then revealed that everyone had sabotaged him in little ways, such as mislabelling the whole milk as 1%, injecting his lunch with several fluid ounces of melted butter, and replacing his diet cola with regular cola and then adding even more sugar to it for good measure.

* Jon states that the reason Gwyneth Paltrow named her company Goop was because "all big internet companies have two 'O's in their name. Jon then lists such famous examples as Microsooft, Amazoon, and Oople.

* Jon quizzes someone by showing them several sets of two equally bizarre-sounding products with obscenely high price tags and having them guess which one from each set is a real product actually sold on the Goop website and which one he made up. [[spoiler:And then reveals that ''all of them'' are in fact real, and he didn't make up any of them]].

* Jon notes that the spray Flex Seal is rather inefficient at patching holes, which even the company acknowledges by mentioning that many coats may be needed, and he says at that rate, there's going to be more Flex Seal than bucket at the end of a patch job. Cut to [[ExaggeratedTrope Jon, labeled "MAN WHO SPENT $356.87 ON FLEX SEAL"]], [[UpToEleven with a heavy bucket filled with solid Flex Seal about one inch from the brim]]. He then demonstrates the seal and [[ImplausibleDeniability asserts that there is no detriment to the bucket's volume or weight from the repairs and claims it is superior to just buying a new bucket.]]

* Jon quizzes someone by showing two equally bizarre-sounding products with obscenely high price tags and having them guess which one is a real product actually sold on the goop website and which one he made up. [[spoiler:And then reveals that ''all of them'' are in fact real, and he didn't make up any of them]].

* The episode Jon is watching ends with a cliffhanger where it's implied Yonny might still be haunting the Toys R Us. But all Jon is taking away from the WhamShot is that Yonny apparently finally learned how to [[BrickJoke write and spell]] as indicated by how accurate the "[[AC:Elizabeth]]" is.
-->'''A+ Spelling!'''

'''Sergio:''' [''visibly {{Corpsing}}''] NO, MOTHERFUCKER, ''YOU'' ARE NUMBER ONE!\\

* Jon notices that Flex Glue was invented [[HilariousInHindsight after]] he made that gag about Phil Swift sniffing glue in the first video and begins demanding royalties for the idea.

'''Jon:''' [''voice distorting and face distorted by content-aware scaling''] i'Ll [=TaKe yOuR=] eNtiRe [=StOck=]!!!

'''Jon:''' Don't curse, Gwyneth-''([[ThrowItIn a train horn goes off in the distance]])'' [[HypocriticalHumor SHUT THE FUCK UP!]] Don't curse, Gwyneth.

-->'''Snake Oil!Jon:''' 'Tis my strong conviction that every man, woman and child has the right to a decent life, do they not? A life free of struggles and hardship! ''Free'' of a bad complexion! Free of clogged chakras, and free of having to read a ''single'' science textbook!

* Jon decides that, to beat an entrepeneur in America, in the arena that is capitalism, he needs to play the same game... and shows up in front of goop's ''actual fucking store'' dressed as an old-time SnakeOilSalesman, complete with cart, and starts hawking his wares explicitly comparing them with those being sold in "our competitor"'s store. May double as awesome due to the effort and sheer balls such a lambasting needs.
-->'''Snake oil!Jon:''' 'tis my strong conviction that every man, woman and child has the right to a decent life, do they not? A life free of struggles and hardship! ''Free'' of a bad complexion! Free of clogged chakras, and free of having to read a ''single'' science textbook!

** When the narrator begins describing Yonny, Jon assumes the narrator doesn't like him, as the latter describes Yonny as a "barely literate, emotionally disturbed farmhand". He then theorises that Yonny's real name was Jonny Jonson, but that he couldn't spell it properly due to being illiterate.

* Jason Voorhees suddenly appearing behind Jon's couch with a chainsaw. Followed by Jon grabbing a saber to cut off his head, stuffing his remains into a garbage bag, and sending it down on a 1920s elevator he inexplicably has in his "apartment". Even funnier is that it becomes a ''Big Lipped Alligator Moment'', as it has nothing to do with the plot of the video, and it is never brought up again.

** To clarify, the tape starts with the narrator mentioning that humans have crafted pointed weapons since the beginning and that then created a "Knife culture". Jon is confused as to what constitutes a knife culture. He then cuts to a sketch where various people in fancy suits (Jon himself included) sit around a dinner table and cut their roast dinners, while classical music plays. The difference here is that instead of having a knife and fork, four of them have two knives, with the second knife being different for each person. The remaining person does have a fork, but he also has a ridiculously large bread knife.

-->'''Jon:''' Dude, you could've just put the pens in the tray, let's be real, okay? Now you're going to jail for the rest of your life, uh, was it fucking cool? Absolutely it was fucking cool. Was it worth it? I'm not so sure?!

** Said sugar causes the cola to start reacting volatile and the scene suddenly gets real as the guy pouring the sugar attempts to stop a mess from happening.

* The tape's narrator claims that police officers dismiss knives as mere relics. Jon, incredulous at this statement, claims they do not. Cut to a sketch involving Jon, as a police officer, writing someone a ticket. A man comes along with a knife and threatens him. Officer Jon takes a look at the knife, and immediately starts laughing and mocking him.

-->'''Man''': ''Dammit!'' I ''knew'' I should have brought a gun...