History Funny / JonTronSeasonFour

* And what does Jon put in the S-tier alongside the Hungarian Parliament Building? Notre Dame (after the fire, after giving the one before an A, and the one during a C) and [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Goofy's house]].

* At one point, the tape narrates that common household items can be dangerous and that a grape cutter would be like getting stabbed with two knives. Jon then riffs on this by claiming an improperly-stored Swiss army knife would be like getting stabbed with three knives. He then shows off more hazards with ever-increasing numbers of points/blades, including four knives bunched together with duct tape, a star-shaped device that appears to be five knives joined at the middle by the end of their handles with duct tape, a similar device but with six screwdrivers, seven panel hacksaws splayed out like a fan and joined together at the handles with cable ties, and finally, a [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers cluster of pufferfish taped together]].

** Jon makes a joke about Dan’s vodka tasting like shit and Larry King being too nice to tell him so... then backpedals and admits that it’s actually pretty good.ž

** Another is a man falling into an industrial sewing machine and becoming one with a Persian rug. Cue Jon as a Persian rug salesman (complete with bushy eyebrows and mustache) who admits to the worker having "a bit of an accident" before noting that the rug is on-of-a-kind and that he'll give the viewer a good price.

-->'''Snake Oil Jon:''' 'Tis my strong conviction that every man, woman and child has the right to a decent life, do they not? A life free of struggles and hardship! ''Free'' of a bad complexion! Free of clogged chakras, and free of having to read a ''single'' science textbook!

* The final segment of the video has Jon searching for crystal skull online, noting there's none in Moscow (where Aykroyd claims it won an award for taste) or Belize City (where the first real life crystal skull was found).

** Jon makes a joke about Dan’s vodka tasting like shit and Larry King being too nice to tell him so... then backpedals and admits that it’s actually pretty good.

** The first time, it comes right after Phil claims that, in order to prove the effectiveness of Flex Tape, [[Non-Sequitor sawed a boat in half]]. Jon doesn't intially see the connection.

* The RunningGag of Phil using Flex Seal products to build boats, and [=JonTron=]'s staunch refusal to believe that only Flex Seal is holding the boat together.

-->'''Jon:''' "Sometimes, Harvey Weinstein will let me use the Creator/{{Miramax}} jet, if I'm opening a supermarket for him." ''[beat and AsideGlance]'' [[HarsherInHindsight That one didn't age quite so well.]]

-->'''Jon:''' "Sometimes, Harvey Weinstein will let me use the Creator/{{Miramax}} jet, if I'm opening a supermarket for him." ''[beat and AsideGlance]'' [[FunnyAneurysmMoment That one didn't age quite so well.]]

** Jon then tells the story of how he broke into the Hall of Coolness to find a person to emulate. His options are Music/StevieWonder ("Pretty cool, but he can't see. I need eyes.), [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy Rocket Raccoon]] ("Too topical. Also, not human."), Music/{{Cher}} ("The epitome of being dank, but I just- I don- I just don't really wanna be ''Cher'', to be honest."), and Vanilla Ice. He then goes to kill the "guards" of the museum with a hastily drawn katana.

** It gets even funnier when most of the comments point out that the officer shooting the female cultist was uneeded as it appeared she was mostly just about to stab herself with the ritualistic dagger. Basically the police officer shot the lady ''whom was about to kill herself''.

** '''S'''can, meanwhile has him pointing out that while it's supposed to scan for other threats. Considering first step was literally ''Shoot'' makes you the threat in this scenario if you followed the S.M.E.N.S. acronym.

** '''E'''valuatem has him just humorously lean forward to look at the dead corpse, with a comedicly exagerrated expression. Remember this is the 3rd step in S.M.E.N.S. right ''after'' the first one being '''Shoot'''.

* The last scene [[BookEnds mirrors the first]], although this time, the young man and woman, having apparently [[UnexplainedRecovery recovered from the knife murder]], have memorized their S.M.E.N.S. training. They smash the cookie plate and glass over Santa's head to catch him off-guard, pull out guns, and, while he [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing stands there ineffectually waving around his cane in a threat attempt]], they shoot him dead.

-->'''Jon''': Goddamnit Rick, take cover that knife is fully loaded!

** On Day 25, Jon goes to retrieve a pair of scissors from a drawer and ends up spontaneously suplexing the entire desk with one arm and shattering it to pieces. Jon's reactions make it even funnier, as he apparently [[DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength didn't intend to do that at all and as simply trying to open the drawer normally]]. He eventually retrieves from the wreckage of the desk... a stapler.

* Jon's [[UncannyValley needlessly creepy and forced sounding]] laughter at the end.

** "Even ''you're'' not ''that'' stupid!," followed by the camera pointing at a very confused woman giving him a vicious DeathGlare.

** The fact that the video itself was used in the trial by the prosecution as ''evidence,'' something confirmed on Wiki/TheOtherWiki. Which is itself accompanied by the beautiful sight gag of ''the videotape'' being locked into a jail cell.

--> '''Jon:''' Jimbo, Jim-Jar, sometimes down at the pub they'd call me [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Dan]], but my name isn't "Dan." I was once visited by an alien species. They referred to me as ''[cue [[HellIsThatNoise incomprehensible]] [[BlackSpeech distortion]]]''. I've never been able to unhear or unsee that.

* Jon's recreation of the creepy scene where Ice wakes Kathy up with an ice cube to go out for the day. His version has him smashing the bedroom window, and saying, in a high-pitched Southern accent, "Rise and shine, bitch, we're goin' to Disneyland!" He then tosses an entire bucket of ice cubes over the girl in bed, which completely covers her.
** Bonus points for her visibly trying not to [[{{Corpsing}} Corpse]] under the pile of ice.

* Jon notes that the spray Flex Seal is rather inefficient at patching holes, which even the company acknowledges by mentioning that many coats may be needed, and he says at that rate, there's going to be more Flex Seal than bucket at the end of a patch job. Cut to [[ExaggeratedTrope Jon, labeled "MAN WHO SPENT $356.87 ON FLEX SEAL"]], [[UpToEleven with a heavy bucket filled with solid Flex Seal about one inch from the brim]]. He then demonstrates the seal and [[ImplausibleDeniability asserts that there is no detriment to the bucket's volume or weight from the repairs and claims it is superior to just buying a new bucket or not deliberately destroying his old bucket]].

* At the beginning, Jon notes that publicly-unknown doctors always have a large, perhaps excessive number of framed diplomas and certificates behind them on the wall since they have the least credibility and need to prove they're legit. Cue Jon as a doctor filming his own infomercial in front of three certificates on the wall, then asking the cameraman to move down the wall to film instead, where there is a larger group of certificates. He talks about how his patients are never satisfied, saying it's not his problem as he opens a door into a hallway [[UpToEleven that is covered walls, floor, and ceiling in endless framed certificates.]] The cameraman then steps on one, breaking the frame's glass, and Jon shrugs it off, since it was only about 2 bucks online.

* The very first shot of the episode is a frozen-over Jon, residing in an [[VisualPun ice]]-covered set. Jon goes on to explain how he tried to emulate Vanilla Ice and be "cool", [[LampshadeHanging which quickly took a turn for the literal]].

* "How about we watch the literal, actual Vanilla Ice movie I didn't know existed called "Cool as Ice", because our Divine Creator has a sick, twisted sense of humor and doesn't want us to be happy."

--> '''Jon:''' Jimbo, Jim-Jar, sometimes down at the pub they'd call me [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Dan]], but my name isn't "Dan". I was once visited by an alien species. They referred to me as ''[cue [[HellIsThatNoise incomprehensible]] [[BlackSpeech distortion]]]''. I've never been able to unhear or unsee that.

* After Phil Swift dramatically slaps Flex Tape over a leak, Jon replays the clip, sets it to [[MemeticMutation the crescendo of]] "[[Music/{{Nightwish|Band}} Ghost Love Score]]", and inserts an audio clip of WebVideo/TheTourettesGuy yelling "OH SHIT!"

-->'''Jon:''' You gotta love-- It's always a guy like "Phil Swift", "Johnny Starr". You never get a guy comin' out like, ''[speaking in Russian(?) accent with large mustache superimposed on his face]'' "It's me, Josephi Krakowski, with Flex Tape!"

* TheStinger of the video has text that reads "THIS IS A CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD, TURN THAT GREEN DAY AND SNOOP DOGG OFF IMMEDIATELY".

* "True story, this is a dish so vile, that PETA made a video condemning it". Cue Jon [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer showing the video in question]].

* When the villain of the VR Troopers says "What's the name of this game? I WIN!", Jon pulls out a board game called "I Win", with a big picture of his face on the front, and plays a game, which consists of moving his piece directly from the start square to the only other square, a square that says "I Win!" on it, again with his face on it.

[[folder: Soulja Boy Makes A Video Game Console]]

** His reasoning for why Dan is the only one who’ll answer; Creator/BillMurray is “too aloof”, Creator/ErnieHudson has apparently not forgiven Jon over [[NoodleIncident an incident in which Jon farted in his pudding during a bar mitzvah]], and Creator/HaroldRamis... well, the reason why ''that'' wouldn’t work [[BlackComedy is pretty obvious]].

*** The notes Jon has of them on his phone. Bill Murray is ''Star of "Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties"'', Ernie Hudson is ''All Around "Cool Man™"'', Harold Ramis is ''Hates when I call him "Ram-undo"'', and Dan Aykroyd is ''Lover of Assorted Eggs''

* When Aykroyd gives the word over to his business partner, "Phil Power", of the Newfoundland Liquor Corporation, Jon appears in the role of Arnold Cafferty, a Canadian distillery owner "unacquainted with Dan Aykroyd", who is scared and confused as to why Aykroyd insisted on setting up operation in his distillery and calling him "Phil Power":

** Arnold Cafferty then begs any viewers to contact his son Thomas on his "webzone", if they know how he can get out of the deal Aykroyd has apparently forced him into. A shot of said webzone includes a written testimony from Arnold Cafferty, who at first thought Aykroyd was some disgruntled costumer or a homeless man who had wandered in from the street:

* The first video Jon watches, “Think About This”, has people dying in ([[{{Narm}} unintentionally]]) BloodyHilarious ways while a [[DreadfulMusician mind-numbingly horrible singer]] shrieks out a song about workplace safety. Jon takes particular bemusement from the part where a worker drops a wrench off a balcony for no readily apparent reason and the wrench ''impales'' another worker below through the head like a spear, with the victim [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction screaming like he sprained his leg instead of immediately dying]].

** Said heat video, while listing various heat related ailments, mentions heat syncope (i.e., fainting due to excess heat). Jon doesn’t know what that is, and he suspects the creators don’t know either, since it’s represented in the video with a guy saying “I don’t feel so good” instead of listing or depicting any symptoms.

* One video, "The Fatal Half-Inch", encourages viewers to be hyper-vigilant at all times of even the ''slightest'' change in altitude, lest you trip and die horribly. Jon compares to a crazy {{conspiracy theorist}}’s Website/YouTube video and begins jokingly claiming that tripping is actually caused by "[[LizardFolk Reptoids]]". To demonstrate, he even shows a documentary-style camcorder video of himself inspecting a crack in the sidewalk and immediately seeing a man with a lizard head...whereupon Jon immediately chases him [[BaitAndSwitch to warn him about the crack in the sidewalk in front of him.]]
* As a result of all the videos, Jon shows them being applied in his workspace in his own safety video. Such scenes include his employees shuffle-crawling delicately across a "death trap" tiled floor, and an editor getting swatted for downloading a Music/BritneySpears [=MP3=] (with Jon'c concern that he did this [[DigitalPiracyIsOkay without using a proxy]]). At the end, [[BrickJoke the pen comes back and flies at the camera]].

* A small running gag that pops up in the video involves Jon, in response to his “back pain”, yelling at children, one of them is even crying as Jon is yelling. A fine example of CrossingTheLineTwice.

* Jon gets an "Amazon Drone" to drop off his package, which is really just a drone suspended by string holding the package. Right before you can ask "why not just fly an actual drone", cue the Behind the Scenes footage of them trying just that...[[EpicFail and it not going so well.]]

--->'''Jon:''' I feel like it's that gif from Series/ArrestedDevelopment, where he looks in the bag and he's like ''[[MemeticMutation "I don't know what I was expecting".]]''

*** But then things get bizarre as, upon doing his quick change, OJ remarks "Why do you think they call me 'Juice'?". This leads Jon to theorize that OJ ''legitimately'' thinks that the reason why people call him "Juice" is because he can change his clothes super-fast, and not because his initials are OJ.
** Jon [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe almost loses his shit]] when OJ talks about his method of dealing with workplace stress: taking a "one minute vacation", [[ObligatoryJoke something he calls "My Little 'Getaway'".]]
** To finish it off, he ends up suggesting his workout regime will help you "be a better [[PaterFamilicide husband, father and lover at home]]". Jon just ''collapses'' to the ground from sheer overwhelming potential he can't improve on.

-->'''Jon:''' It's unbelieveable! It's like they just sprouted out of my torso or something! It's unbelievable what I'm doing!

* Jon is heartbroken that his friends sabotaged his diet, and also very confused as to how he gained all of his fat back despite only eating one chicken nugget. It's then revealed that everyone had sabotaged him in little ways, such as mislabelling the whole milk as 1%, injecting his lunch with several fluid ounces of melted butter, and replacing his diet cola with regular cola and then adding even more sugar to it for good measure.

* '''“We may never be able to destroy obesity the same way we did Iraq in 2003”''' ''Zoom in on the woman in the back who blinks in shock.''

* World’s Strongest Gamer, a grotesque little fat puppet with a pair of glasses and a neckbeard. His introduction has him going off on a tangent about how he earned that title. And of course he’s voiced by Psychicpebbles.

* [[AntiClimax The trophy, seconds from entering the hands of Team Gumdrop, falls out of the trophy girl’s hands and shatters.]]

** Going over what Jon calls "The Jenga Building", since he refused to say [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/56_Leonard_Street its actual name]]:

* When he puts the Notre Dame Cathedral before the fire, it travels with a brief "Oui!". Conversely, Notre Dame during the fire travels with a "Non!".
* He puts the "Cathedral of Saint John the Divine", which [[WebVideo/{{h3h3productions}} Ethan]] called Jon's house much to the latter's confusion, in Goku rank. Which is just a picture of Goku above S, a slightly larger S, and an even larger S.
* "You can hit the bell icon. [[TakeThat I doubt it fucking does anything, but you can hit the bell icon".]]

* Jon reads the ingredients for the Psychic Vampire Repellent, and genuinely stops in shock when he sees that "love" is actually an ingredient. He's so shocked he doesn't even appear to notice that the next two ingredients listed are "chakras" and "moonlight", which are equally if not more ripe for making fun of yet don't even get a mention.

* Jon decides that, to beat an entrepeneur in America, in the arena that is capitalism, he needs to play the same game... and shows up in front of Goop's ''actual fucking store'' dressed as an old-timey SnakeOilSalesman, complete with cart, and starts hawking his wares explicitly comparing them with those being sold in "our competitor"'s store. May double as awesome due to the effort and sheer balls such a lambasting needs.

** "Even ''you're'' not ''that'' stupid!", followed by the camera pointing at a very confused woman giving him a vicious DeathGlare.

* Jason Voorhees (or at least someone going for the HockeyMaskAndChainsaw trope) suddenly appearing behind Jon's couch with a chainsaw. Followed by Jon grabbing a macheye to cut off his head, stuffing his remains into a garbage bag, and sending it down on a 1920s elevator he inexplicably has in his "apartment". Even funnier is that it becomes a ''Big Lipped Alligator Moment'', as it has nothing to do with the plot of the video[[note]]the only real justification it ''could'' have was because of Jon's "lost their heads in the execution" pun prior to this scene[[/note]], and it is never brought up again.

** When [[Creator/LeonardNimoy the narrator]] begins describing Yonny, Jon assumes the narrator doesn't like him, as the latter describes Yonny as a "barely literate, emotionally disturbed farmhand". He then theorises that Yonny's real name was Johnny Johnson, but that he couldn't spell it properly due to being illiterate.

** Jon realizes that the actual name the pilgrims came up with for themselves was "The Separatists", a name [[SarcasmMode you definitely want in your country]].

-->'''Jon''': (sitting behind a giant Chipotle burrito bowl) I know what you're thinkin'. "That's the face of a broken man"... ... (almost chuckles) You're not wrong.

** To clarify, the tape starts with the narrator mentioning that humans have crafted pointed weapons since the beginning and that then created a "Knife culture". Jon is confused as to what constitutes a knife culture. He then cuts to a sketch where various people in fancy suits (Jon himself included) sit around a dinner table and cut their roast dinners, while classical music plays. The difference from a typical dinner scene here is that instead of having a knife and fork, four of them have two knives, with the second knife being different for each person. The remaining person does have a fork, but he also has a ridiculously large bread knife.

* A homeless man starts waving a knife around in order to protect "his turf" and keep the nearby police officer at bay. Jon [[ManipulativeEditing greenscreens the man into an African savannah]], where he has apparently stolen a zebra carcass from a lion, and then has him sink behind a rock to "return to his den".

** Afterwards, they pace around the room and wildly scan for other threats (representing the "Move" and "Evaluate" parts of the S.M.E.N.S. acronym) then, when they get to "Neutralize", ''[[CrossingTheLineTwice shoot Santa's]] [[PummelingTheCorpse obviously dead]] [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill body again]]''.

* A recurring joke in Jon's subreddit in recent times was him getting replaced by Scott The Woz. Many wondered how Jon would respond; they were not disappointed.