History Funny / Ironman

* Tony's response for being called as "Da Vinci of our time"?
-->"Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint."
* Tony at the beginning.
--> "I don't want to see this on your Website/{{MySpace}} Page. Please, no gang signs... No, throw it up, I'm kidding."
--> "Yeah peace, I love peace! I'd be out of a job with peace..."
** Also at the beginning:
--->'''Soldier:''' Is it true that you went twelve-for-twelve with the Maxim Girls last year?
--->'''Tony Stark:''' That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was [[TwinThreesomeFantasy twins]].
* Also also at the beginning:
-->'''Tony:''' I'm sorry, this is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee is over there.
** And then after Tony is kidnapped and assumed dead, he is reunited with Rhodey, who finds him haggard, injured and near complete exhaustion:
--->'''Rhodey''': How was the fun-vee?
--->[''Tony laughs'']
* During Tony's escape from the Afghanistan caves, he gets his gauntlet jammed in a rock face when trying to take out a soldier. Another one sees an opportunity for a BoomHeadshot. He walks right up beside Tony for point blank aiming and... The bullet ricochets off Tony's helmet, and [[BoomHeadshot into the head]] [[HoistByHisOwnPetard of the shooter]].
** And Tony turns around as if to say [[PunchPunchPunchUhOh 'What was that? A twig?']]
** Just before the escape some of the guards demand to know what Tony and Yinsen are doing. Despite the tense situation, or perhaps ''because'' of it, this exchange stands out.
-->'''Tony''': (''hears the guards yelling'') Say something!
-->'''Yensin''': He's speaking Hungarian. I don't know Hungarian!
* Pepper talking with the reporter who Tony slept with and subsequently dumped.
-->'''Christine''': "Even after all this time, Tony still has you picking up the dry-cleaning."
-->'''Pepper''': "I do anything and everything ''Mr. Stark'' requires... including occasionally taking out the trash. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Will that be all?]]"
** Also this scene:
---> '''Pepper''': I actually don't think that you could tie your shoes without me.
---> '''Tony''': I'd make it a week.
---> '''Pepper''': Oh really? What's your social security number?
---> '''Tony''': ... Five.
* As Tony enters the first press conference, Stane asks him if he has another cheeseburger, since he wanted it to look like he was glad Tony was back, for the cameras.
* "Okay, let's start things off nice and easy, see if 10 percent thrust capacity achieves lift. In three...two...one..." '''''*WHAM!*'''''
** Then there's the bit just after that where he's designing the stabilizers.
--->'''Pepper:''' I thought you said you were done making weapons.
--->'''Tony:''' It isn't. [[ExactWords This is a flight stabilizer]]. It's completely harmless.
--->''The stabilizer shoots a blast of energy that knocks him onto his back''
--->'''Tony:''' I didn't expect that.
* Tony in the Mark II suit turning off the repulsors, [[RealityEnsues then going through the roof,]] [[GravityIsAHarshMistress piano and one of his cars]]. Cue one of the workshop robots spraying him with fire extinguisher.
** The previous scene:
--->'''Tony:''' If you douse me again and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college.
* The great unsung comedy moment of the movie, due entirely to Downey's brilliant deadpan delivery:
--> '''Party Girl:''' Hey, Tony, remember me?
--> '''Tony:''' Sure don't.
** The best part is that he doesn't even stop walking or turn to look at her as he says it.
* When Tony shows up at the party and he thinks he sees Hugh Hefner and pats him on the back, only for "Hef" to turn around and be [[spoiler:[[CreatorCameo Stan Lee]]]].
* Tony's reaction to Pepper seeing him [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown being peeled out of the Mark III armor]].
-->[[NoodleIncident "Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing."]]
** Better yet, the dialogue between Tony and JARVIS while they're trying (off-screen) to remove the former's suit.
--->'''JARVIS:''' Well, it is a tight fit, sir...
--->'''Tony:''' Ow!
--->'''JARVIS:''' Sir, the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt.
--->'''Tony:''' Be gentle, this is my first time.
* Two words: "[[OhCrap Icing problem?]]"
** "Might wanna look into it." [[CherryTapping *clonk*]]
* A brief moment during the final fight scene. Tony's just started getting out of his suit, thinking that he's won and he can take it off, when Iron Monger appears behind him. He turns and lifts his hand to deliver a repulsor blast... Only to find that he's already taken the armored glove off of it and his hand is bare. He actually turns his palm to stare incredulously at it for a second before getting slammed in the face.
* "TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO ''BUILD THIS'' IN A ''CAVE!'' WITH A BOX OF ''SCRAPS!''" "Well I'm sorry... but I'm not Tony Stark."
* The little exchange between Coulson and Pepper while they infiltrate Sector 16.
--> '''Pepper''': Oh what is that, some kind of device to pick the lock?
--> '''Coulson''': You might want to step back...
** Pepper then turns around and covers her ears in expectation of a huge bang, only for the lock to blow in a small "poof."
* [[spoiler:A dying Tony has just failed to grab the prototype Arc Reactor that Pepper saved and had monogrammed, and is lying there, beaten... until Dummy casually lowers it into frame. Doubles as a [[SugarWiki.HeartwarmingMoments CMOH]].]]
--> '''Tony''': Good boy...
* The scene where Pepper swaps out Tony's Arc Reactor for the upgraded model. Particularly this line:
--> '''Tony''': [[SarcasmMode Oh, it's nothing.]] [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction I'm just going into cardiac arrest]] because you ''yanked it out like a trout-''

* During Tony's escape from the Afghanistan caves, he gets his gauntlet jammed in a rock face when trying to take out a soldier. One sees an opprotunity for a BoomHeadshot. The bullet richochets off Tony's helmet, and [[BoomHeadshot into the head]] [[HoistByHisOwnPetard of the shooter]].
** And Tony turns around to say [[PunchPunchPunchUhOh What was that? A twig?]]

--> '''Tanaka:''' So much for humility.

* "TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO BUILD THIS IN A CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!" "Well I'm sorry... but I'm not Tony Stark."

--->'''Tony Stark:''' That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins.

* Tony in the Mark II suit turning off the repulsors, [[RealityEnsues then going through the roof, piano and one of his cars]]. Cue one of the workshop robots spraying him with fire extinguisher.

* Tony in the Mark II suit turning off the repulsors, then going through the roof, piano and one of his cars. Cue one of the workshop robots spraying him with fire extinguisher.

* Tony's reaction to Pepper seeing him [[CaughtWithHisPantsDown being peeled out of the Mark III armor]].

* Tony's reaction to Pepper seeing him in the Mark III armor;

--> "I don't want to see this on your MySpace Page. Please, no gang signs... No, throw it up, I'm kidding."

--->'''Tony:''' It isn't. [[ExactWords This is a flight stabilizer]]. It's completely harmless. ''(activates it and gets blasted back by the force)'' I wasn't expecting that.

** [[FridgeBrilliance OMG]] And then he makes the peace sign [[IronicEcho his signature]] in the second movie... [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming It was his tribute to the men and woman whose deaths opened his eyes to what his company was really doing]]

--->"[[ExactWords I did say I was done making weapons]]. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless." *Tony activates it and gets blasted back by the force* "I wasn't expecting that."

--> '''Coulson''': You might want to step back... *blows the lock*

!!!''Film/IronMan2'':
* Tony hacking into the [[spoiler:senate committee's computers from his PDA over wi-fi and having it display "WELCOME MR. STARK" in ASCII art. Followed immediately with footage from other people's failed attempts to create Iron Man suits.]].
-->'''Tony:''' Boy, I'm good...
** In fact, the entire scene was hilarious from Tony's "Yes, dear?" to Senator Stern's launching of a PrecisionFStrike at Tony on a ''live international broadcast''.
* The Senate hearing is equal parts funny and awesome, but the best part had to be Justin Hammer [[spoiler:frantically trying to block the TV as it's showing Hammer Industries' EpicFail at trying to reproduce the Iron Man suit.]] ''Especially'' when the top half [[spoiler:of the suit]] ''[[spoiler:twists 180 degrees around.]]'' CrossesTheLineTwice at its best.
** Made even better by the fact that there were originally just blurry satellite photos to try and prove that other countries had Iron Man level tech, so Tony remotely hacked into the system ''with his cell phone'' and patched in video surveillance from these failures, including Hammer's.
** Made... umm... even more better (?) considering that said scene is {a possible} remake of a scene from ''{{Robocop}} 2''. One would think they would have learned by now.
* JARVIS is wonderful at providing these moments. For example, in ''Iron Man 2'', when looking at a Website/YouTube video of Tony's senate meeting. "[[NoodleIncident May I say how refreshing it is to finally see you on a video with your clothing on, sir.]]"
* Stark and Pepper running into Hammer in Monaco, who has the reporter from the first movie with him.
-->'''Justin Hammer:''' She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Magazine. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know.
-->'''Pepper Potts:''' She did ''quite'' a a spread on Tony last year.
-->'''Tony Stark:''' [[DontExplainTheJoke And she wrote a story as well]]!
-->'''Pepper Potts:''' It was very impressive, very well done...
* A nice little MoodWhiplash after...[[IncrediblyLamePun Whiplash]] has been causing chaos at an F1 race. Happy Hogan rams Whiplash with a car, then does it repeatedly every time he tries to move. Made even funnier by the fact that Pepper is screaming at Tony and Tony is just saying "Hand me the briefcase" repeatedly while showing virtually no reaction.
-->[[spoiler: (''after Happy Hogan runs into Whiplash'')]]
-->'''Tony Stark:''' Who were you trying to hit, me or him?
-->'''Happy Hogan:''' I was trying to scare him-
-->'''Tony Stark:''' ''Cause I can't tell!''
* The first scene between Justin Hammer and Ivan Vanko (in the airplane hangar) has this gem. This is a conversation where Vanko so far has said and done nothing besides sit there and look at Hammer blankly.
-->'''Hammer:''' You and me, we're a lot alike in a lot of ways.
-->'''Vanko:''' *FascinatingEyebrow*
* And as Hammer introduces Vanko to his factory and proposes to get him a password, only for Vanko to completely ignore him and breeze past all passwords in seconds flat:
-->'''Hammer:''' "How'd you do that?"
-->'''Vanko:''' (speaks Russian)
-->'''Hammer:''' "What?"
-->'''Vanko:''' "Software ''shit''."
* One standout scene was SHIELD agent Coulson finding something that looks a lot like CaptainAmerica's shield amongst the clutter of Tony's laboratory. Tony asks Coulson to hand it to him, since it's exactly what he needs to deal with his current problem... [[spoiler:and [[MundaneUtility shoves it underneath his equipment to make it level]].]]
** This is even [[HilariousInHindsight funnier]] after Coulson's [[spoiler:Captain America fanboy status]] is revealed in Film/TheAvengers Movie.
** Coulson gets another one earlier; he is assigned to keep Tony from leaving his house. Tony acts like himself, and Coulson just grins and threatens to tase our hero, and then watch Super Nanny while Tony drools into the carpet.
* Hammer's [[spoiler:ridiculously hyped Ex-Wife missile]]'s magnificent [[EpicFail un-success]].
-->'''Tony:''' Hammer tech?
-->'''Rhodey:''' *disgusted look* Yeah.
* It's more like a Crowning Moment of Snigger, but Tony's spontaneous christening of the Hammer drones as "Hammeroids".
** [[SledgeHammer Not the first time we've heard that name...]]
* Tony "entertaining" the guests at his birthday party, [[TheAlcoholic completely shitfaced (bottle in hand)]], all while ''wearing his Iron Man suit'' definitely deserves mention.
-->"A lot of people ask me how I go to the bathroom in my suit." ''(pause– smile)'' "....just like that.
** Even funnier is when Pepper calls him out on pissing his pants, he mentions there's a filtration system in the suit and adds "You could ''drink'' that water!"
-->''"The party's over... well, it's been over for me an hour and a half ago. '''BUT THE AFTER-PARTY STARTS IN 15 MINUTES!!!'''"'' [[spoiler:It's a cue that Tony completely lost it, forcing Rhodey to don the Mk.II silver armor and engage him in [[IncrediblyLamePun suitball-busting combat]].]]
* Later:
-->"[[spoiler:Put on [[AutobotsRockOut a phat beat]] for me to beat my buddy's ass to.]]" (Added points for being in what is obviously a ThrowItIn outtake, since [[{{Corpsing}} Tony briefly cracks up]].)
** The DJ obligingly puts on [[Music/{{Queen}} Another One Bites the Dust]] and [[Music/DaftPunk Robot Rock]].
* Tony and Pepper [[spoiler:having an intimate moment after the day is saved, [[MomentKiller only to be disturbed by Rhodes, who had been watching them the entire time]].]]
** "You look like two seals fighting over a grape" has to be one of the highlights of the movie.
** Just the total deadpan delivery between a couple of guys in metal battle suits arguing like five-year-olds.
---> '''Rhodes:''' You look like two seals fighting over a grape.
---> '''Tony:''' Hey, you weren't supposed to see any of that. Get lost.
---> '''Rhodes:''' I was here first. [[GetARoom Get a roof]].
---> '''Tony:''' How much did you ...
---> '''Rhodes:''' All of it. I've been here a while.
** Rhodes' last lines of that scene:
--->'''Rhodes:''' Listen, my car got taken out in the explosion so I'm going to have to hang on to your suit for a minute. Okay?\\
'''Tony:''' Not okay. Not okay with that.\\
'''Rhodes:''' Wasn't a question. ''*blasts off*''
* Tony having Fury [[spoiler:appoint Senator Sterns to present his award for defeating Whiplash. Sterns is ''clearly'' not happy about it. Said senator actually gets one himself in the process when he 'accidentally' pokes Stark with the medal pin.]]
-->"(to Rhodey) You deserve this. ... (to Tony) And you deserve ''this''. *jabs him* Sorry. It's funny how annoying a little prick can be."
* Many of Fury's lines in the second film are downright hilarious. One example is when Tony is sitting in a giant donut prop and Fury finds him.
-->'''Fury:''' Sir! I'm gonna have to ask you to exit the donut!
-->''(Tony pulls on his shades slightly as a silent FlatWhat)''
** The donut in general. Tony lounging around in full armor except for the mask in a donut shop's giant donut, pigging out because he's [[spoiler: slowly dying]]. In character but utterly ridiculous. FridgeLogic reveals a OffscreenMomentOfAwesome: he must have walked into the donut shop in his armor to buy those. Like the UncomfortableElevatorMoment in ''Spider-Man 2'', but even more so.
*** Or maybe he just bought the shop.
* Another example when the two are discussing the fate of the Mk II armor:
-->'''Tony:''' I didn't give it to him, he took it.
-->'''Fury:''' Whoawhoawhoa- he ''took it?'' You're Iron Man and he just '''TOOK IT?!''' The lil' brother walked in there, kick'd ass and took. Your suit.
* And pretty much the entire exchange while Tony is reading his evaluation to Fury, the latter not saying a word as Stark tries to justify his many flaws.
--> '''Tony:''' "'Mr. Stark displays compulsive behavior.' In my own defense, that was a week ago. 'Prone to self-destructive tendencies.' [[spoiler: I was dying]], I mean please. And hey, aren't we all? 'Textbook...narcissism? ''(Looks up at Fury.)''
--> '''Fury:''' ''(Glares back)''
--> '''Tony:''' ''(Looks back down at folder)'' Agreed...
** There's something strangely hilarious about [[RefugeinAudacity a man wearing millions of dollars of hi-tech weaponry, the head of the world's top espionage agency, and a professional shadow/spy lounging around a doughnut booth like they do it all the time.]]
* No love for Howard Stark? "[[WinnebagoMan I'm Howard Stark... and on behalf of everybody at Stark Industries, I would like to show you... my ass.]]"
** Also a sorta twisted CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming LikeFatherLikeSon moment. You can definitely see where Tony gets it from.
* Justin Hammer is unveiling the Hammeroid drones by type - "Army!" "Navy!" "Airforce!" - with each group rising from the stage sporting some minor modifications. When there's no more room in the line-up, a '''fourth''' group of droids, painted camo, pops up in front as Hammer shouts [[CrossesTheLineTwice "Marines!"]]. The scene then culminates in what would be a CMOA for Hammer Industries in any other movie when the drones collectively salute [[spoiler:Rhodey in full War Machine gear]].
* Tony's line when [[spoiler:he inserts the arc reactor with its new core into his chest, curing his palladium poisoning and granting him previously unimaginable amounts of power]]:
-->'''Tony:''' Whoo! Tastes like coconut! And ''METAL!''
* We also have this line:
-->'''Vanko:''' I make ''salute''.
* Also:
-->"One down!"
* Black Widow [[spoiler:[[OffhandBackhand casually macing a Hammer guard]] as she walks past him. Moments later, Happy, who finally managed to drop the one Hammer guard at the front, turns to yell in triumph, only to see an entire hallway littered with unconscious guards that Romanov casually beat her way through.]]
* Tony has some good ones as well. Being [[spoiler:chased by War Machine and a swarm of Hammeroids]]:
-->'''Tony:''' JARVIS, break in! I need to own him!
** Almost a case of GettingCrapPastTheRadar seeing as Tony's a wealthy white man, and he's referring to his African-American best friend. DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything?
* One of Hammer's goons threatens to kill Vanko's bird and stuffs it in a bag. When the film cuts back to the scene, the man is dead and the bird is perched on him. Honestly, Vanko's [[MemeticMutation burd]] is one of the best parts of the film.
* Happy biting the guard's ear. ''HE BIT HIS EAR!''
** [[CallBack It's dirty boxing, and it's been around forever.]]
* Sam Rockwell's glorious performance as Justin Hammer deserves a mention. Especially when he discovers that Ivan Vanko has turned all of his suits into drones.
--> '''Hammer''': Is that a helmet? Doesn't look like a helmet to me. How are you supposed to fit a head in there? Jack, could you put your head in there? Try to put your head in there.
--> *Jack plays along and tries to fit his head in the Hammeroid head*
* Justin finally getting sick of Vanko's mocking.
--> "I don't know if you're aware of this, but '''I DON'T SPEAK RUSSIAN!'''"
* The scene just after Tony realizes that his father' old diorama has a secret message in it, suddenly Tony is driving it home with the pieces sticking nearly straight up out of his sports car.

** The DJ obligingly puts on [[Music/{{Queen}} Another One Bites the Dust]] and [[DaftPunk Robot Rock]].

** Just before the escape some of the guards demand to know what Tony and Yensin are doing. Despite the tense situation, or perhaps ''becuase'' of it, this exchange stands out.

** The DJ obligingly puts on [[Music/{{Queen}} Another One Bites the Dust]], [[TheRamones Blitzkreig Bop]], and [[DaftPunk Robot Rock]].

** [[FridgeBrilliance OMG]] And then he makes the peace sign [[IronicEcho his signature]] in the second movie... [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming It was his tribute to the men and woman who's deaths opened his eyes to what his company was really doing]]

** The DJ obligingly puts on [[Music/{{Queen}} Another One Bites the Dust]].

!!!''[[Film/IronMan Iron Man 2]]'':

!!!''Film/IronMan'':