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Covered elsewhere on the page.
Changed line(s) 28 (click to see context) from:
* Fred and George crack at Percy when they find out the Ministry is loaning them all a couple cars to bring them all to Kings Cross was funny but it's even funnier when it's noted that everyone laughed at it except for Percy and Mrs. Weasley... which means Hermione and Mr. Weasley found it funny as well.
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* Fred Arthur tells Harry and George crack at Percy when they find out his family that the Ministry is loaning them all a couple providing cars to bring take them all to Kings Cross was funny but it's even funnier when it's noted King's Cross. George jokes that everyone laughed at it the cars are actually for Percy's sake, with Fred adding that they'll have little flags on the hoods with HB on them, short for Humongous Bighead. Everyone except for Percy and Mrs. Weasley... which means Molly laugh at this... meaning that Hermione and Mr. Weasley found it funny as well. well.
* After dinner, Percy is seen yelling at Ron because he can't find his Head Boy badge; the culprits prove to be the twins, as they show Harry that they've once again altered Percy's badge to say something silly.
-->"We've got it," Fred whispered to Harry. "We're improving it."\\
The badge now read ''Bighead Boy''.
* After dinner, Percy is seen yelling at Ron because he can't find his Head Boy badge; the culprits prove to be the twins, as they show Harry that they've once again altered Percy's badge to say something silly.
-->"We've got it," Fred whispered to Harry. "We're improving it."\\
The badge now read ''Bighead Boy''.
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* Almost any Divination lesson, courtesy of Harry and Ron's comments.
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Changed line(s) 123 (click to see context) from:
* Harry's completely random NightmareSequence where players of the Slytherin Quidditch team ride ''dragons'', and how Wood scolded Harry that he had to use [[ButtMonkey Neville]] to replace him as a Seeker.
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* Harry's completely random Going into the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch match, Wood reminds Harry ''ad nauseum'' that he needs to catch the Snitch ''after'' Gryffindor has a considerable lead in order for them to win the Quidditch Cup.
-->'''Wood:''' So you must catch it only if we’re more than fifty points up. Only if we’re more than fifty points up, Harry, or we win the match but lose the Cup. You’ve got that, haven’t you? You must catch the Snitch only if we’re —\\
'''Harry:''' I KNOW, OLIVER!
* Multiple fights between Gryffindor and Slytherin students break out in the weeks before their Quidditch match, due to the sheer amount of tension, which culminates in a fourth year Gryffindor and a sixth year Slytherin being sent to the hospital wing after leeks sprout from their ears.
* Harry experiences a NightmareSequencewhere players of the Slytherin night before the Quidditch team ride ''dragons'', and how Cup final where Oliver Wood scolded Harry that scolds him for oversleeping, saying he had to use [[ButtMonkey Neville]] to replace him as a Seeker.Seeker. The nightmare then transitions into the Slytherin Quidditch team riding ''dragons'', with Harry falling from the sky after realizing he somehow forgot his broomstick. It takes him a few seconds after waking up to remember that he's safe and the Slytherins aren't allowed to ride dragons.
-->'''Wood:''' So you must catch it only if we’re more than fifty points up. Only if we’re more than fifty points up, Harry, or we win the match but lose the Cup. You’ve got that, haven’t you? You must catch the Snitch only if we’re —\\
'''Harry:''' I KNOW, OLIVER!
* Multiple fights between Gryffindor and Slytherin students break out in the weeks before their Quidditch match, due to the sheer amount of tension, which culminates in a fourth year Gryffindor and a sixth year Slytherin being sent to the hospital wing after leeks sprout from their ears.
* Harry experiences a NightmareSequence
Deleted line(s) 150 (click to see context) :
* Similar to what they did [[Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone two years ago]], Fred and George steal Percy's Head Boy badge and bewitch it to now say "Big Head Boy".
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Changed line(s) 76 (click to see context) from:
** During Gryffindor's match against Ravenclaw, which is also Harry's first time using the Firebolt in gameplay.
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** During Gryffindor's match against Ravenclaw, which is also Harry's first time using the Firebolt in gameplay.gameplay, Lee spends more time gushing about the features of the Firebolt than actually taking about what's happening in the match.
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Changed line(s) 67 (click to see context) from:
*** Later in the same chapter, when McGonagall describes James Potter and Sirius Black as Hogwarts' biggest troublemakers, Hagrid says he reckons Fred and George could give them a run for their money.
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***Later in the same chapter, when McGonagall describes James Potter and Sirius Black as Hogwarts' biggest troublemakers, Hagrid says he reckons Fred and George could give them a run for their money.
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Changed line(s) 28 (click to see context) from:
* Fred and George crack at Percy when they find out the Ministry is loaning them all a couple cars to bring them all to Kings Cross was funny but it's even funnier when it's noted that everyone laughed at it except for Percy and Mrs. Weasley... which means Mr. Weasley found it funny as well.
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* Fred and George crack at Percy when they find out the Ministry is loaning them all a couple cars to bring them all to Kings Cross was funny but it's even funnier when it's noted that everyone laughed at it except for Percy and Mrs. Weasley... which means Hermione and Mr. Weasley found it funny as well.
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Changed line(s) 129 (click to see context) from:
'''Harry:''' -How d'you know about the clock?\\
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'''Harry:''' -How d'you know about the clock?\\cloak?\\
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Changed line(s) 197 (click to see context) from:
* Ron's random CatapultNightmare gives us this gem:
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* This CallBack to ''[=CoS=]'', where Ron's random CatapultNightmare gives us this gem:
Changed line(s) 206 (click to see context) from:
* The scene where the invisible Harry attacks Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle outside the Shrieking Shack.
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* The scene where the invisible Harry attacks Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle outside the Shrieking Shack.Shack after they call Hermione a Mudblood. This includes throwing snowballs at them, pantsing Goyle and shoving him to the ground, grabbing Crabbe's scarf and spinning him around by it, and dragging Malfoy across the snow by his feet. All the while hiding under the Invisibility Cloak. Then after they retreat, Harry, still invisible, plays with Ron's hat and Hermione's hair before finally revealing himself.
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* Floating Aunt Marge.
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* Floating Aunt Marge. Full-stop.
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Why is this even funny. This is Trivia staff.
Deleted line(s) 175 (click to see context) :
* Margot Robbie later confirmed on the Graham Norton show that one of the two boys that Draco pushes aside as he's marching to Buckbeak is now her husband and that they would have been married "a lot sooner" if he'd told her! Yes, Harley Quinn married a Wizard!
Changed line(s) 195 (click to see context) from:
* Scabbers being chased by Hermoine's cat. HilariousInHindsight when you remember that's Peter Pettigrew. One can imagine what's going through the disguised sycophant's head as he's almost catfood.
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* Scabbers being chased by Hermoine's Hermione's cat. HilariousInHindsight when you remember that's Peter Pettigrew. One can imagine what's going through the disguised sycophant's head as he's almost catfood.
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Changed line(s) 71 (click to see context) from:
** Even funnier? Sirius is in Azkaban — presumably he does ''not'' have a quill and ink. Just ''what'' did he intend to use to complete the crossword? Did he just do it all in his head?
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** Even funnier? Sirius is in Azkaban — presumably he does ''not'' have a quill and ink. Just ''what'' did he intend to use to complete the crossword? Did he just do it all in his head? Even better is that Fudge didn't even notice this fact.
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Removing spoiler tags as moments pages are Spoilers Off.
Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
* Snape gives Ron a detention of washing the Hospital Wing bedpans [[spoiler:hoping that Ron will notice Lupin isn't there and connect the dots about Lupin being a werewolf]]. Ron's response is to wonder why Sirius Black hadn't hidden in Snape's office when he broke into the castle, because, "Then [Black] could have finished [Snape] off for us!"
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* Snape gives Ron a detention of washing the Hospital Wing bedpans [[spoiler:hoping (hoping that Ron will notice Lupin isn't there and connect the dots about Lupin being a werewolf]].werewolf). Ron's response is to wonder why Sirius Black hadn't hidden in Snape's office when he broke into the castle, because, "Then [Black] could have finished [Snape] off for us!"
Changed line(s) 69 (click to see context) from:
** [[spoiler:Fudge didn't know that Sirius was using his Animagus form to throw off the Dementors and that's how he stayed sane. And it was thanks to that newspaper that Sirius saw the picture of the Weasleys with Peter Pettigrew (in his rat form) perched on Ron's shoulder. So let's recap: this whole plot got set in motion because a bored prisoner asked the Minister of Magic for his paper.]]
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** [[spoiler:Fudge Fudge didn't know that Sirius was using his Animagus form to throw off the Dementors and that's how he stayed sane. And it was thanks to that newspaper that Sirius saw the picture of the Weasleys with Peter Pettigrew (in his rat form) perched on Ron's shoulder. So let's recap: this whole plot got set in motion because a bored prisoner asked the Minister of Magic for his paper.]]
Changed line(s) 87 (click to see context) from:
* When the Gryffindors return to the common room after Sirius breaks in [[spoiler:looking for Pettigrew]], Fred immediately says "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Excellent, are we carrying on [with the post-game party]]]?"
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* When the Gryffindors return to the common room after Sirius breaks in [[spoiler:looking for Pettigrew]], in, Fred immediately says "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Excellent, are we carrying on [with the post-game party]]]?"
Changed line(s) 141 (click to see context) from:
* A bit of BlackComedy but after Harry and Hermione [[spoiler:help Sirius escape, denying Snape both the prospect of revenge on his schoolboy nemesis and being granted the Order of Merlin First Class, Harry notes that every time they're in the same room for the rest of the term, Snape is constantly flexing his fingers ''"as though just itching to wrap them around Harry's throat"'']].
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* A bit of BlackComedy but after Harry and Hermione [[spoiler:help help Sirius escape, denying Snape both the prospect of revenge on his schoolboy nemesis and being granted the Order of Merlin First Class, Harry notes that every time they're in the same room for the rest of the term, Snape is constantly flexing his fingers ''"as though just itching to wrap them around Harry's throat"'']].throat"''.
Changed line(s) 144 (click to see context) from:
* The ending, in which Harry casually reveals to Uncle Vernon that he [[spoiler:has an escaped wizard prisoner godfather. You can almost hear the OhCrap in Uncle Vernon's voice]].
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* The ending, in which Harry casually reveals to Uncle Vernon that he [[spoiler:has has an escaped wizard prisoner godfather. You can almost hear the OhCrap in Uncle Vernon's voice]].voice.
Changed line(s) 195 (click to see context) from:
* Scabbers being chased by Hermoine's cat. HilariousInHindsight [[spoiler: when you remember that's Peter Pettigrew. One can imagine what's going through the disguised sycophant's head as he's almost catfood.]]
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* Scabbers being chased by Hermoine's cat. HilariousInHindsight [[spoiler: when you remember that's Peter Pettigrew. One can imagine what's going through the disguised sycophant's head as he's almost catfood.]]
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* The note Ron sends with his birthday present to Harry:
-->''Harry — this is a Pocket Sneakoscope. If there's someone untrustworthy around, it's supposed to light up and spin. Bill says it's rubbish sold for wizard tourists and isn't reliable, because it kept lighting up at dinner last night. But he didn't realize Fred and George had put beetles in his soup.''
-->''Harry — this is a Pocket Sneakoscope. If there's someone untrustworthy around, it's supposed to light up and spin. Bill says it's rubbish sold for wizard tourists and isn't reliable, because it kept lighting up at dinner last night. But he didn't realize Fred and George had put beetles in his soup.''
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* Margot Robbie later confirmed on the Graham Norton show that one of the two boys that Draco pushes aside as he's marching to Buckbeak is now her husband and that they would have been married "a lot sooner" if he'd told her! Yes, Harley Quinn married a Wizard!
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** When she first speaks, she talks about people having sight...only to then hit the table as she gets up, apparently not seeing it there.
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* This exchange when Lupin is explaining how he knew Harry, Ron, and Hermione would try to sneak out to see Hagrid and watched them on the Marauder's Map:
-->'''Lupin:''' You might have been wearing your father's old cloak, Harry-\\
'''Harry:''' -How d'you know about the clock?\\
'''Lupin:''' ''(waving his hand impatiently)'' The number of times I saw James disappearing under it. The point is...
-->'''Lupin:''' You might have been wearing your father's old cloak, Harry-\\
'''Harry:''' -How d'you know about the clock?\\
'''Lupin:''' ''(waving his hand impatiently)'' The number of times I saw James disappearing under it. The point is...
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Changed line(s) 146 (click to see context) from:
[[folder:From the film]]
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* The coda to the Aunt Marge balloon scene. As Harry stalks off, [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Aunt Marge is visible bobbing and floating off into the distance. Brief, no dialogue, just some distant sound-effects, and it's one of the funniest moments in the films.]]
** While Aunt Marge is swelling up, a button pops off, hits Dudley square in the forehead, and ''knocks him down to the floor''. When he manages to get back up, ''it happens again''.
* During [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAH6XX_FJjY&ab_channel=HarryPotterClips the Aunt Marge scene]], as Uncle Vernon is attempting futilely to prevent Marge from floating away, he gets lifted off the ground himself, and so does Ripper (clinging onto his ankle). Then we get this gem.
-->'''Aunt Marge:''' Don't you dare!\\
'''Uncle Vernon:''' ''[Lets go of Marge]'' Sorry!
** The music immediately after this is [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic fantastic]]. As Aunt Marge drifts offscreen, it builds up to a final "duh duh ''[beat]'' DUH DUUUUUHH!"; ''the music you hear after a magician finishes his act!''
-->'''Uncle Vernon:''' COME BACK!!!
** The way Petunia just ''slowly waves at Marge as she floats away''. It's almost like she's so confused that she doesn't know what else to do.
*** FridgeBrilliance in that, for all her faults, Petunia did love her sister--after hearing Marge insult Lily at the dinner table, Petunia's face is about half "is there anything we can do?" and half "buh-bye now, don't come back too soon."
** While Aunt Marge is swelling up, a button pops off, hits Dudley square in the forehead, and ''knocks him down to the floor''. When he manages to get back up, ''it happens again''.
* During [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAH6XX_FJjY&ab_channel=HarryPotterClips the Aunt Marge scene]], as Uncle Vernon is attempting futilely to prevent Marge from floating away, he gets lifted off the ground himself, and so does Ripper (clinging onto his ankle). Then we get this gem.
-->'''Aunt Marge:''' Don't you dare!\\
'''Uncle Vernon:''' ''[Lets go of Marge]'' Sorry!
** The music immediately after this is [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic fantastic]]. As Aunt Marge drifts offscreen, it builds up to a final "duh duh ''[beat]'' DUH DUUUUUHH!"; ''the music you hear after a magician finishes his act!''
-->'''Uncle Vernon:''' COME BACK!!!
** The way Petunia just ''slowly waves at Marge as she floats away''. It's almost like she's so confused that she doesn't know what else to do.
*** FridgeBrilliance in that, for all her faults, Petunia did love her sister--after hearing Marge insult Lily at the dinner table, Petunia's face is about half "is there anything we can do?" and half "buh-bye now, don't come back too soon."
Deleted line(s) 160,161 (click to see context) :
* The coda to the Aunt Marge balloon scene. As Harry stalks off, [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Aunt Marge is visible bobbing and floating off into the distance. Brief, no dialogue, just some distant sound-effects, and it's one of the funniest moments in the films.]]
** While Aunt Marge is swelling up, a button pops off, hits Dudley square in the forehead, and ''knocks him down to the floor''. When he manages to get back up, ''it happens again''.
** While Aunt Marge is swelling up, a button pops off, hits Dudley square in the forehead, and ''knocks him down to the floor''. When he manages to get back up, ''it happens again''.
Changed line(s) 181 (click to see context) from:
* Scabbers being chased by Hermoine's cat. HilariousInHindsight [[spoiler:when you remember that's Peter Pettigrew. One can imagine what's going through the disguised sycophant's head as he's almost catfood.]]
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* Scabbers being chased by Hermoine's cat. HilariousInHindsight [[spoiler:when [[spoiler: when you remember that's Peter Pettigrew. One can imagine what's going through the disguised sycophant's head as he's almost catfood.]]
Changed line(s) 199 (click to see context) from:
* Easy to miss, but when Fudge arrives in Hogsmeade in a carriage, Hagrid politely opens the door for him...[[DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength only to accidentally tear the whole door off]]. [[{{Facepalm}} Fudge appears to mutter, "Oh, Hagrid..."]] and leaves the poor guy awkwardly holding the door.
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* Easy to miss, but when Fudge arrives in Hogsmeade in a carriage, Hagrid politely opens the door for him... [[DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength only to accidentally tear the whole door off]]. [[{{Facepalm}} Fudge appears to mutter, "Oh, Hagrid..."]] and leaves the poor guy awkwardly holding the door.
Deleted line(s) 206,212 (click to see context) :
* During [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAH6XX_FJjY&ab_channel=HarryPotterClips the Aunt Marge scene]], as Uncle Vernon is attempting futilely to prevent Marge from floating away, he gets lifted off the ground himself, and so does Ripper (clinging onto his ankle). Then we get this gem.
-->'''Aunt Marge:''' Don't you dare!\\
'''Uncle Vernon:''' ''[Lets go of Marge]'' Sorry!
** The music immediately after this is [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic fantastic]]. As Aunt Marge drifts offscreen, it builds up to a final "duh duh ''[beat]'' DUH DUUUUUHH!"; ''the music you hear after a magician finishes his act!''
-->'''Uncle Vernon:''' COME BACK!!!
** The way Petunia just ''slowly waves at Marge as she floats away''. It's almost like she's so confused that she doesn't know what else to do.
*** FridgeBrilliance in that, for all her faults, Petunia did love her sister--after hearing Marge insult Lily at the dinner table, Petunia's face is about half "is there anything we can do?" and half "buh-bye now, don't come back too soon."
-->'''Aunt Marge:''' Don't you dare!\\
'''Uncle Vernon:''' ''[Lets go of Marge]'' Sorry!
** The music immediately after this is [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic fantastic]]. As Aunt Marge drifts offscreen, it builds up to a final "duh duh ''[beat]'' DUH DUUUUUHH!"; ''the music you hear after a magician finishes his act!''
-->'''Uncle Vernon:''' COME BACK!!!
** The way Petunia just ''slowly waves at Marge as she floats away''. It's almost like she's so confused that she doesn't know what else to do.
*** FridgeBrilliance in that, for all her faults, Petunia did love her sister--after hearing Marge insult Lily at the dinner table, Petunia's face is about half "is there anything we can do?" and half "buh-bye now, don't come back too soon."
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Changed line(s) 143 (click to see context) from:
* Similar to what they did two years ago, Fred and George steal Percy's Head Boy badge and bewitch it to now say "Big Head Boy".
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* Similar to what they did [[Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone two years ago, ago]], Fred and George steal Percy's Head Boy badge and bewitch it to now say "Big Head Boy".
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* Similar to what they did two years ago, Fred and George steal Percy's Head Boy badge and bewitch it to now say "Big Head Boy".
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* Harry tells Dumbledore about Professor Trelawney's prophecy, and Dumbledore still manages to get a passive-aggressive dig in.
-->"Who'd have thought it? That brings her total of real predictions up to ''two''. I should offer her a pay raise...."
-->"Who'd have thought it? That brings her total of real predictions up to ''two''. I should offer her a pay raise...."
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Changed line(s) 272 (click to see context) from:
** Seamus’ boggart is deleted from the final cut, but behind the scenes footage as well as interviews reveal that Seamus would’ve used the spell to make a mummy do a silly dance, with the rest of the class mimicking the dance. When Crabbe wants to join, Malfoy smacks him on the head(with his ’wounded’ arm) as if he’s a dog.
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** Seamus’ boggart is deleted from the final cut, but behind the scenes footage as well as interviews reveal that Seamus would’ve used the spell to make a mummy do a silly dance, with the rest of the class mimicking the dance. When Crabbe wants to join, Malfoy smacks him on the head(with head (with his ’wounded’ arm) as if he’s a dog.
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Changed line(s) 197 (click to see context) from:
** Fudge then takes great care to step over a pile of horse poo only to step right back into it as Rosemerta starts laying into him about Dementors driving her customers away.
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** Fudge then takes great care to step over a pile of horse poo dung only to step right back into it as Rosemerta starts laying into him about Dementors driving her customers away.
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** Seamus’ boggart is deleted from the final cut, but behind the scenes footage as well as interviews reveal that Seamus would’ve used the spell to make a mummy do a silly dance, with the rest of the class mimicking the dance. When Crabbe wants to join, Malfoy smacks him on the head(with his ’wounded’ arm) as if he’s a dog.
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**Even better? Watch her magical cleaning tools. They [[ScrewThisImOutOfHere inmediately bolt to the nearest open room]] just before the door opens!
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* Scabbers being chased by Hermoine's cat. HilariousInHindsight [[spoiler:when you remember that's Peter Pettigrew. One can imagine what's going through the disguised sycophant's head as he's almost catfood.]]
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Changed line(s) 244 (click to see context) from:
'''Lupin:''' ''(throws up his hands in a wordless "I give up")''
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'''Lupin:''' ''(throws up his hands in a wordless "I give up")''up")''\\
'''Snape:''' Listen to you two, quarrelling LikeAnOldMarriedCouple.
'''Snape:''' Listen to you two, quarrelling LikeAnOldMarriedCouple.
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Changed line(s) 260,261 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Past!Harry:''' ''(Inside Hagrid's hut)'' Ow!
'''Present!Harry:''' ''(Outside next to Hermione)'' Ow! That hurt!
'''Present!Harry:''' ''(Outside next to Hermione)'' Ow! That hurt!
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-->'''Past!Harry:''' ''(Inside Hagrid's hut)'' Ow!
Ow!\\
'''Present!Harry:''' ''(Outside next to Hermione)'' Ow! Thathurt!hurt!\\
'''Present!Harry:''' ''(Outside next to Hermione)'' Ow! That
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-->'''Past!Harry:''' ''(Inside Hagrid's hut)'' Ow!
'''Present!Harry:''' ''(Outside next to Hermione)'' Ow! That hurt!
'''Present!Hermione:''' Sorry.
'''Present!Harry:''' ''(Outside next to Hermione)'' Ow! That hurt!
'''Present!Hermione:''' Sorry.