History Funny / HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince

** It's also kind of funny that Harry spends most of the book dreading [[BigBrotherInstinct Ron's reaction]] [[MySisterIsOffLimits to them dating]], and Ron's reaction is a nod and shrug.

* [=McLaggen=] flirting with Hermione. '''By licking his fingers.'''

* Snape being a magnificent, scene-stealing {{Jerkass}}, as usual, after Harry accuses Malfoy of being a Death Eater:

-->'''Harry:''' [[SarcasmMode Brilliant! Really brilliant!]] When I get hold of [=McLaggen=]--
-->'''Ron:''' [[LiteralMinded You don't want to get hold of him, he's the size of a troll.]] Personally, I think there’s a lot to be said for hexing him with that toenail thing[[note]]a hex that makes toenails grow "alarmingly fast"[[/note]] of the Prince's.

-->'''Dobby:''' (proudly, swaying where he stands) Dobby has not slept for a week, Harry Potter!
-->'''Hermione:''' ''(gives Harry a scandalised look)''

--->''"WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO?''
--->''YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT [[ToiletHumor U-NO-POO]]''
--->''THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!"''

--> "[[OhCrap They'll be murdered in their beds!]]"

--> "Bitey, scratchy, pokey, draw his cork and pulls his earsy"
--> "Where there's strife and when there's trouble, call on Peevsie he'll make double!"

-->'''Hermione:''' This ''is'' Felix Felicis, I suppose? You don't have another bottle of...
-->'''[[DeadpanSnarker Ron]]:''' Essence of Insanity?

-->'''Seamus [[WritingLines (writing)]]:''' I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick.

-->'''Ron:''' Tomorrow, I'd rather you use the alarm clock.

-->'''Vernon:''' I don't mean to be rude-
-->'''Dumbledore:''' But sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best to say nothing, my good man.

--> "It was natural that he would be concerned about her. Natural that he would want to look after her. Natural that he would want to blast Dean into a million pieces for kissing her. No, he would have to control that particular brotherly instinct."
--> "Ginny kept popping up in his dreams in ways that made him devoutly thankful that Ron couldn't perform Legilimency."

-->'''Snape:''' Of course you weren't a lot of use to him in Azkaban, but the ''gesture'' was undoubtedly fine.
-->'''Bellatrix:''' Gesture?!

-->'''Snape:''' You speak of "dangers". You were facing, I believe, six teenagers.

* When Fleur at first tells Mrs. Weasley that Bill will still love her after he was attacked by Greyback, and then when she does understand what Mrs. Weasley was inferring, raves about how she doesn't care about how Bill looks and that she's "Good looking enough for the both of [them]."

--> "And you've been through all that persecution from the Ministry when they were trying to make out that you were unstable and a liar. You can still see the marks on the back of your hand where that evil woman made you write with your own blood, but you stuck to your story anyway..."
--> "You can still see where those brains got hold of me in the Ministry, look," said Ron, shaking back his sleeves.
--> "And it doesn't hurt that you've grown about a foot over the summer either," Hermione finished, ignoring Ron.
--> "I'm tall," said Ron, inconsequentially.

--> '''Madam Pince:''' The library is now closed. Mind that you return anything you have borrowed to the correct- ''what have you been doing to that book, you depraved boy?''\\

--> ''Harry thought privately that what Aragog would have liked most about Slughorn was the ample amount of edible flesh he provided.''

->Slughorn's watery eyes slid over Harry's scar, this time taking in the rest of his face.\\

--> '''Hermione:''' They're saying that Dumbledore's got a bit old. \\

-->'''Harry:''' ''[notices Hermione looking at him]'' What?\\
'''Hermione:''' ''[smirking]'' Nothing.

* [=McGonagall's=] exasperation upon discovering Harry, Ron, and Hermione are caught up in the latest crisis yet ''[[WeirdnessMagnet again]]''.

-->'''Lavender:''' I happen to be his girlfriend!
-->'''Hermione:''' I happen to be his... friend. [[note]] And future wife.[[/note]]

'''Harry:''' ''(Startled)'' What?!\\

** Dumbledore delivers that last line in the most airy, cheerful manner possible, like he didn't just witness an angsty teenage romance drama ''or'' like he's seen similar scenes so many times during his years at Hogwarts that he's no longer fazed by them. As several people have noted, he looks like he's watching his favorite TV show.

** The Muggle Prime Minister at the time was UsefulNotes/JohnMajor, the greyest man in British politics. This also means that the predecessor who tried to [[{{DestinationDefenestration}} throw Fudge out the window]] was UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher.

* Ron diving behind Hermione everytime he thinks Lavender is passing by: "Hide me!"

** Dumbledore delivers that last line in the most airy, cheerful manner possible, like he didn't just witness an angsty teenage romance drama ''or'' like he's seen similar scenes so many times during his years at Hogwarts that he's no longer fazed by them.

* "Ghosts are transparent, but Inferi are dead bodies, aren't they. So they'd be solid--”\\

-->'''Ron:''' [[LiteralMinded You don't want to get hold of him, he's the size of a troll.]] Personally, I think there’s a lot to be said for hexing him with that toenail thing of the Prince's.

'''Harry:''' Yeah... that's what my friends call me.\\

-->'''Snape:''' This is your book?\\
'''Harry:''' Yeah.\\
'''Snape:''' Then why does it have the name "Roonil Wazlib" in it?\\

'''Harry:''' That's what my friends call me.\\

[[caption-width-right:350:"But I am the Chosen One-" *WHACK* "Sorry."]]

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/detention.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:"You just bought yourself a month's detention, [=McLaggen=]."]]

* Hermione's perfectly-planned and executed OperationJealousy: She drops by Harry, Parvati, and Ron snogging Lavender, casually mentions her date is [=McLaggen=] (Ron comes up for air with a noise like an unclogging sink), Parvati and Lavender are agog, noting that Hermione HasAType for Quidditch players, Hermione clarifies that she likes ''really good'' Quidditch players (Ron's reaction to the knife-twisting isn't described), and makes a triumphant exit, leaving Parvati and Lavender to discuss everything they thought they knew about Hermione, Ron to stare into empty space, and Harry to reflect on what girls won't do for revenge.

[[folder:From the book]]
* The entire first chapter.

[[folder:From the film]]

** The Muggle Prime Minister at the time was UsefulNotes/JohnMajor, the greyest man in British politics. This also means that the predecessor who tried to throw Fudge out the window was UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher.

'''Harry:''' Oh... brilliant.\\

** The Muggle Prime Minister at the time was UsefulNotes/JohnMajor, the greyest man in British politics.

** If one does the maths, one will realise that [[{{NoodleIncident}} the PM who tried to]] [[{{DestinationDefenestration}} throw Fudge out the window]] was UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher.

** If one does the math, one realizes that [[{{NoodleIncident}} the PM who tried to]] [[{{DestinationDefenestration}} throw Fudge out the window]] was UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher.

** Harry asks Snape how long Dumbledore will be away for. Snape gives brief pauses before wordlessly wandering off.

** Hermione's increasingly MessyHair as Harry finishes his potion much earlier before her.

* The students first seeing the love potion and how they just, sort of, ''float'' toward it.

* Slughorn's pure giddiness at Harry's Draught of Living Death, happily exclaiming that a single drop would easily be enough to ''[[BlackComedy kill the entire class]]''.
* Harry and Ron fighting to see who will get the newer-looking Potions book in the cupboard, topped with Harry smacking Ron's book childishly with his own.
* Hermione's increasingly MessyHair as Harry finishes his potion much earlier before her.
* When Slughorn presents Harry with the Felix Felicis, the rest of the class are noticeably put out and reluctant to applaud him.

* Continuing the films' RunningGag of Seamus BlowingStuffUp: during the Potions class, he looks down into his cauldron when it spontaneously explodes in his face, leaving him with an AshFace.

* "Yes, Harry Potter! And if Dobby does it [[note]][[ItMakesSenseInContext (stalking Malfoy)]][[/note]] wrong, Dobby will throw himself off the topmost tower, Harry Potter!"

--->''YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT U-NO-POO''

* Luna Lovegood meets Professor Trelawney. Luna starts telling her about the "Rotfang Conspiracy" (the non-existent aurors' plan to bring down the Ministry of Magic by using "a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease"); Trelawney is genuinely fascinated.

* After Hagrid tells Slughorn that Aragog would have liked that he attended his funeral:

* With Christmas approaching, Harry's newfound popularity results in traffic jams on the school corridors. Specifically [[UnderTheMistletoe around the mistletoe decorations]]. Harry just decides to use the hidden passageways, bereft of such things, much to Ron's delight.

* Another small gem. Kreacher sends Harry a Christmas present while he's away at the Burrow. It's a package full of maggots.