History Funny / GodofWar

* The sex scenes in each game are funny on their own, but adding to the joke is the fact that they grow progressively over-the-tope. In ''Ghost of Sparta'', the scene starts with Kratos grabbing two prostitutes; then, as the player inputs commands correctly, the screen starts shaking increasingly violently, and more and more prostitutes will come running to join in. When Kratos is done he will have seemingly pleasured eight or so partners... at the same time.

*** The fact that Hephaestus is ''sat in a pool of lava.'' We don't know ''why'' he chooses to sit in a pit of lava, just that he ''is''.

* Cronos, who eats his own ''babies'' out of fear of rebellion, ''hilariously'' has the '''gall''' to call Kratos "A coward who would murder his own kin." [[{{Hypocrite}} Pot calling the kettle black, Cronos; Pot, Kettle, Black.]]

-->'''Handmaiden:''' [''fondling her partner while watching Kratos off-screen''] Wow, this is totally for mature audiences only!

** Also in Chains of Olympus is the Spud of War costume which has Kratos being dressed in a potato costume.

-->'''Gaia:''' You live spartan? The blood of Cronus serve you well. Quickly! You must help me!\\
'''Kratos:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Help]]. ''[[UngratefulBitch you?]]''\\

* Listen closely in the beginning of God of War 3,right after Zeus says "Our mountain emerged out of the chaos. As it grew,so too did the might of the Olympians". No seriously. JUST. LISTEN. TO. THAT. [[StockScream SUSPICIOUSLY. FAMILIAR. SCREAM]].

* Listen closely in the beginning of God of War 3,right after Zeus says "Our mountain emerged out of the chaos. As it grew,so too did the might of the Olympians". No seriously. JUST. LISTEN. TO. THAT. SUSPICIOUSLY. FAMILIAR. SCREAM.

* Gaia, after letting Kratos fall into the underworld while pretty much telling him that he was a pawn, actually expects him to help her up mountain when they meet again. It's utterly ''baffling'' how she doesn't consider the possibility that a man well known to be an utterly ruthless and vengeful warrior '''wouldn't''' forget that , ''and'' that she doesn't even feel the need to just ''apologize'' to him.

[[redirect:Funny/GodOfWarSeries]]

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* The fight against the Colossus in ''God of War II''. A giant eagle steals Kratos's powers and brings a wonder of the ancient world to life with blue lightning. By sheer determination and what's left of his powers, Kratos breaks its arms in a water wheel, launches a boulder the size of a house at its head and blinds it. He punches it in the face with its own severed hand, then slashes his way inside, and destroys it, leaping out of its mouth. Ladies and gentlemen, that was the punchline. To rant at the gods. Thanks to this, he fails to avoid being ''squished like a bug'' by the hand of the falling giant.
* During the battle against Hercules, Hera, quite clearly drunk off her ass, tells the two blood-soaked bruisers, as they're about to beat each other to death, "You boys play nice!" Nothing amuses her more than seeing Zeus' little bloodthirsty bastards kill each other.
* Kratos's first words to Hermes are, "To catch a fly from the ass of Zeus is not worth my time, Hermes." [[BrickJoke Later]], Hermes, [[spoiler:upon being killed by Kratos, explodes into a swarm of flies. And Kratos smishes one.]]
* The silly costumes in each game are an excellent laugh. Examples:
** ''God of War'' has the Chef of War costume, where Kratos wears a chef's hat, white coat and wields a cleaver.
** ''God of War II'' sees Kratos as the Cod of War, where he dresses in a giant cod costume.
** ''God of War: Chains of Olympus'' gives access to the Mime of War, where Kratos wears mime makeup and goes unarmed, killing his foes by simply swinging his arms in their direction.
* The scene where Kratos killed David Jaffe while congratulating the player.
* One of the potential bits of commentary during the sex minigame in ''God Of War III'' hangs a humorous {{lampshade}} on the provocative scene:
--> '''Nymph:''' [''fondling her partner while watching Kratos off-screen''] Wow, this really is for mature audiences only!
--> '''Other nymph:''' Parents shouldn't let their kids watch this!
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFTd2HqOXqU The Ship Captain never catches a break.]] He keeps running into Kratos, being humiliated or getting killed each time -- killed in plural form, as Kratos has a tendency to get thrown into Hades.
* The sex scenes in each game are funny on their own, but adding to the joke is the fact that they grow progressively over-the-tope. In ''Ghost of Sparta'', the scene starts with Kratos grabbing two prostitutes; then, as the player inputs commands correctly, the screen starts shaking increasingly violently, and more and more prostitutes will come running to join in. When Kratos is done he will have seemingly pleasured eight or so partners... at the same time.
* The SeenItAll half-rotted guy Kratos encounters at the entrance to the Temple of Pandora in the first game. He sounds positively ''bored'' when Kratos comes by, but goes through the whole ritual because its his job to open the gate for anyone who want to try it... and then burn the remains of the idiots who fail.
* Castor the prophet, at the onset of his battle, orders a pair of hapless, scrawny mooks to restrain [[OneManArmy Kratos]] and remove him from the premiss. The guards are [[GenreSavvy Genre Savvy]] enough to know [[CruelAndUnusualDeath what's]] [[MookHorrorShow about to]] [[CurbStompBattle happen]], [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere and run like hell]].
-->'''Castor:''' We ''really'' must find better slave traders.
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* During the battle against Hercules, Hera, quite clearly drunk off her ass, tells the two blood-soaked bruisers, as they're about to beat each other to death, "You boys play nice!" Nothing amuses her more than seeing Zeus' bloodthirsty bastards kill each other.

* During the battle against Hercules, Hera, quite clearly drunk off her ass, tells the two blood-soaked bruisers, as they're about to beat each other to death, "You boys play nice!"

* The fight against the Colossus in ''God of War II''. A giant eagle steals Kratos's powers and brings a wonder of the ancient world to life with blue lightning. By sheer determination and what's left of his powers, Kratos breaks its arms in a water wheel, launches a boulder the size of a house at its head and blinds it. He punches it in the face with its own severed hand, then slashes his way inside, and destroys it, leaping out of its mouth. Ladies and gentlemen, [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/3/19/ that was the punchline.]] To rant at the gods. Thanks to this, he fails to avoid being ''squished like a bug'' by the hand of the falling giant.

* The fight against the Colossus in God of War II. A giant eagle steals your powers and brings a wonder of the ancient world to life with blue lightning. By sheer determination and what's left of his powers, Kratos breaks its arms in a water wheel, launches a boulder the size of a house at its head and blinds it. He punches it in the face with its own severed hand, then slashes his way inside, and destroys it, leaping out of its mouth. Ladies and gentlemen, [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/3/19/ that was the punchline.]] To rant at the gods. Thanks to this, he fails to avoid being ''squished like a bug'' by the hand of the falling giant.

* First words to Hermes, "To catch a fly from the ass of Zeus is not worth my time, Hermes." [[BrickJoke Later]], Hermes, [[spoiler:upon being killed by Kratos, explodes into a swarm of flies. And Kratos smishes one.]]
* The silly costumes for 1, 2 and Chains of Olympus. And the scene where Kratos killed David Jaffe while congratulating the player.
* One of the potential bits of commentary during the sex minigame in God Of War III: "Wow, this really is for mature audiences only!" "Parents shouldn't let their kids watch this!"
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFTd2HqOXqU The Ship Captain never catches a break.]]
* The increasingly over-the-top sex mini-games. ''Ghost of Sparta's'' scene starts with Kratos grabbing two prostitutes, then, as the player inputs commands correctly, the screen starts shaking increasingly violently, and more and more prostitutes will come running to join in. When Kratos is done he will have seemingly pleasured eight or so partners... at the same time.

* All the glitches. Swimmingness is particularly funny.

* Castor the prophet, at the onset of his battle, orders a pair of hapless, scrawny mooks to restrain [[OneManArmy Kratos]] and remove him from the premiss. The guards are [[GenreSavvy Genre Savvy]] enough to know [[CruelAndUnusualDeath what's]] {{Gorn about}} [[MookHorrorShow to]] [[CurbStompBattle happen]], [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere and run like hell]].

* Castor the prophet, at the onset of his battle, orders a pair of hapless, scrawny mooks to restrain [[OneManArmy Kratos]] and remove him from the premiss. The guards are [[GenreSavvy Genre Savvy]] enough to know what's about to happen, and run like hell.

* The fight against the Colossus in God of War II. A giant eagle steals your powers and brings a wonder of the ancient world to life with blue lightning. By sheer determination and whats left of his powers, Kratos breaks its arms in a water wheel, launches a boulder the size of a house at its head and blinds it. He punches it in the face with its own severed hand, then slashes his way inside, and destroys it, leaping out of its mouth. Ladies and gentlemen, [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/3/19/ that was the punchline.]] To rant at the gods. Thanks to this, he fails to avoid being ''squished like a bug'' by the hand of the falling giant.

* The silly costumes for 1, 2 and CoO. And the scene where Kratos killed David Jaffe while congratulating the player.

* CrowningMomentOfFunny: The fight against the Colossus in God of War II. A giant eagle steals your powers and brings a wonder of the ancient world to life with blue lightning. By sheer determination and whats left of his powers, Kratos breaks its arms in a water wheel, launches a boulder the size of a house at its head and blinds it. He punches it in the face with its own severed hand, then slashes his way inside, and destroys it, leaping out of its mouth. Ladies and gentlemen, [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/3/19/ that was the punchline.]] To rant at the gods. Thanks to this, he fails to avoid being ''squished like a bug'' by the hand of the falling giant.

* During the battle against Hercules, Hera says, "You boys play nice!"

** During the battle against Hercules, Hera says, "You boys play nice!"
** First words to Hermes, "To catch a fly from the ass of Zeus is not worth my time, Hermes." Later, Hermes, [[spoiler:upon being killed by Kratos, explodes into a swarm of flies. And Kratos smishes one.]]
** The silly costumes for 1, 2 and CoO. And the scene where Kratos killed David Jaffe while congratulating the player.

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFTd2HqOXqU The Ship Captain never catches a break.]]

* One of the potential bits of commentary during the sex minigame in God Of War II: "Wow, this really is for mature audiences only!" "Parents shouldn't let their kids watch this!"

** When Aphrodite's slave girls BreakTheFourthWall in ''God of War III''.
*** ''Especially'' when they [[LampshadeHanging lampshade]] the game's M rating.

* One of the potential bits of commentary during the sex minigame in God Of War II: "Wow, this really is for mature audiences only!" "Parents shouldn't let their kids watch this!"

* CrowningMomentOfFunny: The fight against the Colossus in God of War II. A giant eagle steals your powers and brings a wonder of the ancient world to life with blue lightning. By sheer determination and whats left of his powers, Kratos breaks its arms in a water wheel, launches a boulder the size of a house at its head and blinds it. He punches it in the face with its own severed hand, then slashes his way inside, and destroys it, leaping out of its mouth. Ladies and gentlemen, [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/3/19/ that was the punchline.]]\ to rant at the gods. Thanks to this, he fails to avoid being ''squished like a bug'' by the hand of the falling giant.