History Funny / ForrestGump

'''Forrest:''' But you ain't got no legs, Lt. Dan.\\

---> '''LBJ''': ''(laughing)'' God damn, son.

-->'''Forrest''': Lt. Dan! What're you doin' here?\\
'''Lt. Dan''': Well, I thought I'd try out my sea legs.\\
'''Forrest''': But you ain't got no legs, Lt. Dan.\\
'''Lt. Dan''': ...Yes, I know that.

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/346f350b_267d_476c_8e10_1731ba5709d0.jpeg I believe he said he has to go pee.]]

* Lt. Dan, a platoon commander, explaining to two of the soldiers under his command that he is destined to die in battle can be pretty funny if you think about it, given that such a statement is probably a spectacular example of how a commander can demoralize the troops he would presumably be leading when he expects to die on the battlefield.

** And when Forrest finishes assembling and stripping his [[CoolGuns/BattleRifles M14]] in record time:

* While Forrest's football team is at the White House to meet President UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy, Forrest drinks ''fifteen'' bottles of Dr Pepper. Pictured above,when the time comes to shake the President's hand...
--> '''JFK:''' Congratulations, how do you feel?
--> '''Forrest:''' I gotta pee.
--> '''JFK:''' I believe he said he had to go pee!

--->'''Lt. Dan:''' Where're you boys from in the world? \\
'''Forrest and Bubba:''' ''(simultaneously)'' Alabama, sir! \\
'''Lt. Dan:''' ''(jokingly)'' ...You twins? \\
''({{Beat}}, Bubba and Forrest look at each other)'' \\

--> '''Dan:''' Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
--> '''Forrest:''' I didn't know we were supposed to be looking for him, sir.

--> '''Forrest''': Lt. Dan! What're you doin' here? \\
'''Lt. Dan''': Well, I thought I'd try out my sea legs. \\
'''Forrest''': But you ain't got no legs, Lt. Dan. \\

--->''[rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-CRASH]''
--->'''Forrest:''' ''[beat]'' That's my boat...

--> '''Lt. Dan:''' You. Will. NEVER. Sink. This. BOAT!!! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
--> '''Lt. Dan:''' YOU CALL THIS A STORM?!

--> '''Forrest:''' After awhile Lt. Dan said we didn't have to worry about money anymore. So I said "That's good!" (nods to the lady listening to his story) "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint ...One less thing!]]"

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/346f350b_267d_476c_8e10_1731ba5709d0.jpeg]]

* While Forrest's football team is at the White House to meet President UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy, Forrest drinks ''fifteen'' bottles of Dr Pepper. When the time comes to shake the President's hand...

-->'''Drill Sergeant:''' [[LargeHam '''GUUUMP!''' WHAT'S YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IN THIS ARMY?\\]]

'''Drill Sergeant:''' GODDAMMIT, GUMP! YOU'RE A GODDAMN GENIUS! THAT'S THE MOST OUTSTANDING ANSWER I'VE EVER HEARD! YOU MUST HAVE A GODDAMN I.Q. OF 160! YOU ARE GODDAMNED GIFTED, PRIVATE GUMP!

-->'''Drill Sergeant:''' '''GUUUMP!''' WHAT'S YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IN THIS ARMY?\\

* When Forrest tells the two people who were listening to his story about him being the owner of Bubba-Gump Shrimp, the old gentleman laughs it off and walks away, not believing he was sitting next to a millionaire. When the sweet old lady decides to play along, Forrest offers to show her a picture of Lt. Dan, and when she did see the picture, she gives off this incredulous look. Whether she is displeased at how Dan looks or Forrest proved who he is, is up for debate.

** And then Bubba abruptly stops with "And that's about it, really." You get the impression that no one has ever listened to Bubba talk about shrimp long enough for him to run out of shrimp dishes to name, and now that he's finally covered them all he seems to be having an existential crisis in his bunk shortly thereafter.

[[caption-width-right:350:some caption text]]

* Bubba's ludicrously long list of dishes you can make with shrimp. It's so long that he's still saying it when he and Forrest are scrubbing the floor with toothbrushes hours later.
** Bonus points for the consideration that Bubba going on and on like this and Forrest listening along, thus distracting him from their duties, is the probable reason they're stuck scrubbing floors like this in the first place.
* Admit it, you wanted to laugh, too, when Lt. Dan is practically challenging God to strike down their shrimp boat during the hurricane.
--> '''Lt. Dan:''' You. Will. NEVER. Sink. This. BOAT!!! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
--> '''Lt. Dan:''' YOU CALL THIS A STORM?!
* While Forrest's football team is at the White House to meet President UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy, Forrest drinks ''fifteen'' bottles of Dr Pepper. When the time comes to shake the President's hand...
--> '''JFK:''' Congratulations, how do you feel?
--> '''Forrest:''' I gotta pee.
--> '''JFK:''' I believe he said he had to go pee!
* After Dan buys some well-timed stock in Apple Computers, Forrest describes it as "some kind of fruit company."
--> '''Forrest:''' After awhile Lt. Dan said we didn't have to worry about money anymore. So I said "That's good!" (nods to the lady listening to his story) "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint ...One less thing!]]"

* On being shot in the buttocks:
-->''They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money 'cause I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.''
** Forrest actually showing the wound on his behind to LBJ on national television. LBJ's reaction is even better:
---> '''LBJ''': ''(laughing)'' God damn, son.
*** Pay attention, he actually ''mulls it over'' before going through with it. One [=YouTube=] comment summed it up as Forrest trying to reconcile his manners with what he saw as a direct order from his commander-in-chief.
*** Could be TruthInTelevision. Johnson had an infamously crass sense of humor, so odds are he probably would've really found that hilarious.
* When the shrimping business isn't going too well, Lt. Dan sarcastically suggests Forrest pray for shrimp. One GilliganCut later, Forrest is standing in a gospel choir, looking as awkward and out-of-place as a pineapple in a tomato patch.
** "Lt. Dan would come sometimes too, but... I think he left all the prayin' up to me." Said while we see Dan sitting in the aisle beside a pew and downing booze from a hip flask.
* "Sorry I had a fight in the middle of your Black Panther party."
* Dan talking to Forrest about religion:
--> '''Dan:''' Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
--> '''Forrest:''' I didn't know we were supposed to be looking for him, sir.
* This gem of an exchange halfway through the film:
--> '''Forrest''': Lt. Dan! What're you doin' here?
-->'''Lt. Dan''': Well, I thought I'd try out my sea legs.
-->'''Forrest''': But you ain't got no legs, Lt. Dan.
-->'''Lt. Dan''': ...Yes, I know that.
** And shortly after that, since Forrest had whimsically jumped off his moving boat.
--->''[rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-CRASH]''
--->'''Forrest:''' ''[beat]'' That's my boat...

--> '''Lt. Dan:''' Where're you boys from in the world?
--> '''Forrest and Bubba:''' ''(simultaneously)'' Alabama, sir!
--> '''Lt. Dan:''' ''(jokingly)'' ...You twins?
--> ''({{Beat}}, Bubba and Forrest look at each other)''
--> '''Forrest:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint ...No, we are not relations, sir.]]
* There's some BlackComedy to be had with Forrest's InnocentInaccurate trait, starting from his summation of Jenny's father.

* Bubba's mom getting a check from Forrest's shrimp company profits, and {{fainting}} after seeing what is likely a lot of zeroes. Then in her next scene, she is being served by a white cook and judging by her house and clothes is quite wealthy.
-->'''Forrest:''' And ya know what? She didn't have to work in no one's kitchen no more.
* Forrest in Boot Camp:
-->'''Drill Sergeant:''' '''GUUUMP!''' WHAT'S YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IN THIS ARMY?\\
'''Gump:''' To do whatever you tell me, Drill Sergeant?\\
'''Drill Sergeant:''' GODDAMMIT, GUMP! YOU'RE A GODDAMN GENIUS! THAT'S THE MOST OUTSTANDING ANSWER I'VE EVER HEARD! YOU MUST HAVE A GODDAMN I.Q. OF 160! YOU ARE GODDAMNED GIFTED, PRIVATE GUMP!
** And when Forrest finishes assembling and stripping his [[CoolGuns/BattleRifles M14]] in record time:
--->'''Gump:''' DONE, DRILL SERGEANT!\\
'''Drill Sergeant:''' GUUUUUUMP! WHY DID YOU PUT THAT WEAPON TOGETHER SO QUICKLY, GUMP?\\
'''Gump:''' You told me to, Drill Sergeant?\\
'''Drill Sergeant:''' JESUS H. CHRIST! This is a new company record! If it wouldn't be a waste of such DAMN fine enlisted meat, I'd recommend you for OCS, Private Gump! YOU ARE GONNA BE A GENERAL SOMEDAY, GUMP! NOW, DISASSEMBLE YOUR WEAPON AND CONTINUE!
* Forrest's summation of George Wallace being shot while pursuing the Democratic nomination in the 1972 election.
-->The man in the schoolhouse door thought it would be a good idea if he ran for president.'' [Wallace is shot by Arthur Bremer]'' But somebody thought it wasn't.
* When somebody at Wallace's Stand in the Schoolhouse Door refers to the black students trying to register as "coons", Forrest thinks he's talking about raccoons and says they should just get a broom.

* Lt. Dan, a platoon commander, explaining to two of the soldiers under his command that he is destined to die in battle can be pretty funny if you think about it, given that such a statement is probably a spectacular example of how a commander can demoralize the troops he would presumably be leading when he expects to die on the battlefield.

--->"And then I went to the White House, ''again'', and shook hands with the president, ''again''.

* Bubba's mom getting a check from Forrest's shrimp company profits, and {{fainting}} after seeing what is likely a lot of zeroes. Then in her next scene, she is being served by a white cook.

* When the shrimping business isn't going too well, Lt. Dan sarcastically suggests Forrest pray for shrimp. One GilliganCut later Forrest is standing in a gospel choir, looking as awkward and out-of-place as a pineapple in a tomato patch.

** Bonus points, for the consideration that Bubba going on and on like this, and Forrest listening along, thus distracting him from their duties, is the probable reason they're stuck scrubbing floors like this, in the first place.

* Admit it, you wanted to laugh too when Lt. Dan is practically challenging God to strike down their shrimp boat during the hurricane.

* When the US ping pong team met with Nixon at the White House, he personally inquired as to what hotel Forrest was staying in, and then got him a room at a better one. One smash cut later, Forrest is calling the hotel manager late at night, recommending that a maintenance man be sent to the office "across the way", since some men are in there with flashlights working. [[BeenThereShapedHistory A zoom in on the table near Forrest as he hangs up]] [[NiceJobBreakingItHero reveals that Nixon recommended]] ''[[HistoricalInJoke the Watergate hotel]]''.

* Bubba's mom getting a check from Forrest's shrimp company profits, and fainting after seeing what is likely a lot of zeroes. Then in her next scene, she is being served by a white cook.

*** Pay attention, he actually ''mulls it over'' before going through with it. One YouTube comment summed it up as Forrest trying to reconcile his manners with what he saw as a direct order from his commander-in-chief.

** TruthInTelevision here - Boot Camp is for getting freshly enlisted men to follow orders. And the army has been making and using those guns for years and knows the best way. There are no tips or tricks to it - do it like they say and you'll do it fast. No questions, just damn well do it!

* Bubba's mom getting a check from Forrest's shrimp company profits, and fainting after seeing what is likely a lot of zeroes.