History Funny / ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen

* When Jacob is yelling at Tia for being a "HALF-BREAD", not to mention he's mentioned as ''jumping up and down'' whilst yelling.

* "IT WAS EWDARD!"
* "'OMG, how is this possible?' i said 'Don't ask me I'm just a panda, lol' said Snoofles with a big grin"
* "My knee came up hard against his massive throbbing gigglestick between his legs"

* "everyone CLANGLED at me and blushing I went to sit on my friends".

* From the dramatic reading: during chapter eight, ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' adds a note that reads, [[spoiler: "From self-hating closet case to drug-fueled threesomes with people you've just met, one of whom is a talking panda. It's been quite a night for Jasper."]]
* The moment Snoofles introduces himself, ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' tosses up a note that reads what we're all thinking.

** \[=ManWithoutABody=] makes the line "I went home and uncle larry made me cook his food and suck his cock while he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night" sound ridiculously casual.

** ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'''s reading makes it even funnier when he adds as a note: "Well, right back at you you [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet Plantagenet]] whore."

** ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' makes the line "I went home and uncle larry made me cook his food and suck his cock while he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night" sound ridiculously casual.

* ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' giving Uncle Larry [[Series/BarneyAndFriends Barney the Dinosaur]]'s voice, as if the character wasn't ridiculous enough.

* ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' gives [[spoiler: Caius]] a... very nasally, disinterested voice. It makes his "spooky" dream visitations seem more like court-mandated welfare checks.
* ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' also takes ridiculous pleasure in frequently pointing out how in-character Edward and Bella are throughout the fic. He's not wrong.

* Uncle Larry calling Tiana an "evil bitch" and then demanding she go and wash his car, ''and she actually goes and does it''. And also, he apparently spanks her for ''half an hour'' before raping her on the bonnet of his "red porche" in ''broad daylight''.

* ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' gives [[spoiler: Caius]] a... very nasally, disinterested voice. It makes [[spoiler: his]] "spooky" dream visitations seem more like court-mandated welfare checks.

* The principal ''caked'' up onstage and announces the winner by ''screaming'' "ATLANATIANA REBECKAH LOREN!!"

* The first AN. Edward is their GODD and they want to sex him gud.

* Dave and Marie are very nice and hole some.

* ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' giving Uncle Larry [[Series/BarneyAndFriends Barney the Dinosaur's]] voice, as if the character wasn't ridiculous enough.

** The aforementioned [[UnusualEuphemism gigglestick]]

** ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'''s reading makes it even funnier when he adds as a note: "Well, right back at you you [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet Plantagenet]] whore.

** Especially the revelation that [[spoiler: he's gay apparently.]]
** From the dramatic reading: during chapter eight, ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' adds a note that reads, [[spoiler: "From self-hating closet case to drug-fueled threesomes with people you've just met, one of whom is a talking panda. It's been quite a night for Jasper."]]
** The moment Snoofles introduces himself, ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' tosses up a note that reads what we're all thinking.

* "stop raping me!!" The best part about that bit is, in the dramatic reading, the narrator says it like it's only mildly annoying, like how you might say, "Stop poking me!"

* Tiana showed Edward her naked, heaving BEASTS!

* The various weird-ass euphemisms the author uses to describe penises. Gigglestick. Mancarrots. Lavender man-fruit thing. And, of course, Jacob's horible wet mushroom.

* The description of Edward as [[NoIndoorVoice "hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT"]]
* The best insult that Tiaa, a supposedly cool and [[DarkerAndEdgier edgy]] vampire, can come up with is [[BigStupidDooDooHead "you freakin SMELL!"]].

*** Edward punching the wall with 'his buckly fist'
*** Attacks like 'I schlepped him hard across the face'
*** Edward catching her 'waste' (seems quite unsanitary)
*** Edward somehow managing to "ham" the main character against a wall
*** Edward's face 'was blunt and right heavy in mine'

** Edward's reaction to receiving a GroinAttack: 'he drubbed over in pan'

** ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'s'' reading makes it even funnier when he adds as a note: "Well, right back at you you [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet Plantagenet]] whore.

* "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU EVIL RODENT PEOPLE?!!!!!

* "stop raping me!!" The best part about that bit is, in the Dramatic Reading, the narrator says it like it's only mildly annoying, like how you might say, "Stop poking me!"

* Uncle Larry calling Tiana an "evil bitch" and then demanding she go and wash his car, ''and she actually goes and does it''. And also he apparently spanks for ''half-an-hour'' before raping her on the bonnet of his "red porche" in broad daylight.

* The various weird-ass euphemisms the authors uses to describe penises. Gigglestick. Mancarrots. Lavender man-fruit thing. And, of course, Jacob's horible wet mushroom.

* The best insult that Tiaa, a supposedly cool and [[DarkerAndEdgier edgy]] vampire, can come up with is [[BigStupidDooDooHead "you]] [[GoshDangItToHeck freakin]] [[StinkSnub SMELL!"]].

* For some reason when Jacob is yelling at Tia for being a [[spoiler: "HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!"]] I burst into a hysterical mess.
** Not to mention he's mentioned as ''jumping up and down'' whilst yelling.
* This Troper's face hurt from laughing after, "everyone CLANGLED at me and blushing I went to sit on my friends".

* Pretty much everything to do with the panda.

* "HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!" (Once would have been funny, but when the same misspelling is repeated ''[[RuleOfThree three times in a row ...]]'')
* Also, mancarrots.

* Apparently Tiana's mum dies every time Tiana gets bored. Either that, or Tiana [[SelfMadeOrphan killed her]] [[ItAmusedMe because she was bored...]]

** ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' makes the line "I went home and uncle larry made me cook his food and suck his cock while he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night" sound ridiculously casual, as if it's all completely normal.

** Edward punching the wall with 'his buckly fist'
** Attacks like 'I schlepped him hard across the face'
** Edward catching her 'waste' (seems quite unsanitary)
** Edward somehow managing to "ham" the main character against a wall
** Edward's face 'was blunt and right heavy in mine'

* ''[=ManWithoutABody=]'' gives [[spoiler: Caius]] a... very nasally, disinterested voice. This Troper isn't sure what accent he's affecting there, but it makes [[spoiler: Caius']] "spooky" dream visitations seem more like court-mandated welfare checks.