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-->"I know a guy like you once. He was a twit...just! Like! You!"

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-->"You remind me of an old friend! He was a twit, just like you!"
-->"I know a guy like you once. He was hoping you'd show up--I could use a twit...just! Like! You!"good laugh!"
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-->"I said it before and I'll say it again--I hate you."
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-->"I know a guy like you once. He was a twit...just! Like! You!"
-->"Oh, just look at you, so pure, so sincere...it really makes me wanna vomit!" ''(fake retching sounds)''
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-->"[[SarcasmMode Look at those broad shoulders, that handsome countenance]] - you look pretty funny, for a ''lady!''
-->"My favourite things are sunshine, dancing and love. And ''pain''."
-->"It's a great day to be alive! And a better day to '''''kill!'''''
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** Wife just gives a sigh of contentment when a shopkeeper yells "We sell melee weapons of all shapes and sizes!"

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** Wife just gives a sigh of contentment when a shopkeeper yells "We sell melee weapons of all shapes and sizes!"sizes!"
** [[{{Squick}} "Nice doggy!"]]
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* May or may not count, but the kid who wants you to break the crates at the beginning of the game has this very odd line: "Are you just going to stand there, like a lemon?" What.




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* A child might say something like this: "If I hold my breath for 30 seconds, I can see funny stuff".
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-->"Philosophers tell us that there are those who create, those who destroy... And those who are [[ADateWithRosiePalms wankers]], like you!"

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-->"Philosophers tell us that there are those who create, those who destroy... [[SophisticatedAsHell And those who are [[ADateWithRosiePalms wankers]], wankers, like you!" you!"]]
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*** You think that's funny?! What about the pistol thing? When you're fighting a little Hobbe, if you attack it with a pistol at a certain range, it jumps up, and tries to eat your arm. Then, you pull the friggin' trigger, with your arm down its throat!

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*** You think that's funny?! What about the pistol thing? When you're fighting a little Hobbe, if you attack it with a pistol at a certain range, it jumps up, and tries to eat your arm. Then, you pull the friggin' trigger, with your arm down its throat!throat!
* Since you can still hear other people during sex, this line can and will come up if you do so near a weapon shop.
** Wife just gives a sigh of contentment when a shopkeeper yells "We sell melee weapons of all shapes and sizes!"
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* What about at the very end, if you let Lucien talk? Reaver stands, shoots him in the face and says "Oh, I thought he'd never shut up! Sorry, did you want to kill him?"
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*** PHH! You think that's funny?! What about the pistol thing? When you're fighting a little Hobbe, if you attack it with a pistol at a certain range, it jumps up, and tries to eat your arm. Then, you pull the friggin' trigger, with your arm down its throat!

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*** PHH! You think that's funny?! What about the pistol thing? When you're fighting a little Hobbe, if you attack it with a pistol at a certain range, it jumps up, and tries to eat your arm. Then, you pull the friggin' trigger, with your arm down its throat!
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*** Using a hammer against them, well, here's the pitch, HOME RUN MOTHERFUCKER.

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*** Using a hammer against them, well, here's the pitch, HOME RUN MOTHERFUCKER.MOTHERFUCKER.
*** PHH! You think that's funny?! What about the pistol thing? When you're fighting a little Hobbe, if you attack it with a pistol at a certain range, it jumps up, and tries to eat your arm. Then, you pull the friggin' trigger, with your arm down its throat!
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-->"We could be best friends, if I liked people with an arse for a face!"
-->"Philosophers tell us that there are those who create, those who destroy... And those who are [[ADateWithRosiePalms wankers]], like you!"
-->"Nice weapon you've got there. What are you, [[CompensatingForSomething compensating for something?!]]"
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-->"If I had a friend like you, I'd tell them secrets. Like that I'm gonna set you on fire."
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-->"I'd like to get to know someone like you. '''''And drown them.'''''"

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-->"I'd like to get to know someone like you. '''''And then drown them.'''''"



* If you listen to the bandits who robbed a carriage carrying a gargoyle long enough, they'll eventually start debating philosophy ''absolutely seriously'', with the [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness terminology and everything]], trying to ''philosophically'' justify robbing a carriage they weren't paid to rob that wasn't carrying any money. Glorious.

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* If you listen to the bandits who robbed a carriage carrying a gargoyle long enough, they'll eventually start debating philosophy ''absolutely seriously'', with the [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness terminology and everything]], trying to ''philosophically'' justify robbing a carriage they weren't paid to rob that wasn't carrying any money.money. ''Philosophically''. Glorious.



** That's nothing. Anothing Hobbe finishing move is to ''punt'' the little sucker.

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** That's nothing. Anothing Another Hobbe finishing move is to ''punt'' the little sucker.

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** [[BraggingRightsReward Make a royal decree,]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint of course.]]



** [[BraggingRightsReward Make a royal decree,]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint of course.]]
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* If you're not strong enough to remove the sword from the stone outside the Temple of Avo, the dramatic crescendo that plays during the cut-scene ends abruptly and anticlimactically.

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* If you're not strong enough to remove the sword from the stone outside the Temple of Avo, the dramatic crescendo that plays during the cut-scene [[LettingTheAirOutOfTheBand ends abruptly and anticlimactically.]]
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** If you toss fireballs at mooks, sometimes they'll say, "Ha ha! Lucky I wore my fireproof underwear today!"

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** * If you toss fireballs at mooks, sometimes they'll say, "Ha ha! Lucky I wore my fireproof underwear today!"
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** [[BraggingRightsReward Make a royal decree,]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint of course.]]
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-->"You have your mother's looks! ({{Beat}}) Eww....."
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** That's nothing. Anothing Hobbe finishing move is to ''punt'' the little sucker.

to:

** That's nothing. Anothing Hobbe finishing move is to ''punt'' the little sucker.sucker.
*** Using a hammer against them, well, here's the pitch, HOME RUN MOTHERFUCKER.
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* One of the sword finishing moves on hobbes is to [[LookBehindYou point behind them.]] The hobbe actually turns around and you slash their back.

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* One of the sword finishing moves on hobbes is to [[LookBehindYou point behind them.]] The hobbe actually turns around and you slash their back.back.
** That's nothing. Anothing Hobbe finishing move is to ''punt'' the little sucker.
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* Shame on you all for not mentioning how Walter got past a magical barrier set up by a Hobbe. He shouted BOO and the Hobbe was so shocked that the barrier it was keeping up disappeared. And then it died of a heart attack.

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* Shame on you all for not mentioning how Walter got past a magical barrier set up by a Hobbe. He shouted BOO and the Hobbe was so shocked that the barrier it was keeping up disappeared. And then it died of a heart attack.attack.
* One of the sword finishing moves on hobbes is to [[LookBehindYou point behind them.]] The hobbe actually turns around and you slash their back.
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* If you listen to the bandits who robbed a carriage carrying a gargoyle long enough, they'll eventually start debating philosophy ''absolutely seriously'', with the [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness terminology and everything]], trying to ''philosophically'' justify robbing a carriage they weren't paid to rob that wasn't carrying any money. Glorious.

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* If you listen to the bandits who robbed a carriage carrying a gargoyle long enough, they'll eventually start debating philosophy ''absolutely seriously'', with the [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness terminology and everything]], trying to ''philosophically'' justify robbing a carriage they weren't paid to rob that wasn't carrying any money. Glorious.Glorious.
* Shame on you all for not mentioning how Walter got past a magical barrier set up by a Hobbe. He shouted BOO and the Hobbe was so shocked that the barrier it was keeping up disappeared. And then it died of a heart attack.
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-->"I'd like to get to know someone like you. '''''And drown them.'''''"
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-->"Two girls kissing, isn't that kind of a cliche?" "An incredibly ''[[GirlOnGirlIsHot hot]]'' cliche."
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to:

** Followed promptly by the Hero grabbing his back and growling in pain.
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* If you listen to the bandits who robbed a carriage carrying a gargoyle long enough, they'll eventually start ''debating philosophy''. ''Absolutely seriously''. Trying to ''philosophically'' justify robbing a carriage they weren't paid to rob that wasn't carrying any money. Glorious.

to:

* If you listen to the bandits who robbed a carriage carrying a gargoyle long enough, they'll eventually start ''debating philosophy''. ''Absolutely seriously''. Trying debating philosophy ''absolutely seriously'', with the [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness terminology and everything]], trying to ''philosophically'' justify robbing a carriage they weren't paid to rob that wasn't carrying any money. Glorious.

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-->"You're...dressed as a chicken. What are you - what are you planning to do...dressed as a chicken?"

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-->"You're...dressed as a chicken. What are you - what are you planning to do...dressed as a chicken?"chicken?!"



--> '''Demon Door''': Thank you! Now when the two characters shag at the end, it will pop right off the page!

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--> '''Demon Door''': Thank you! Now when the two characters shag at the end, it will pop right off the page!page!
* If you listen to the bandits who robbed a carriage carrying a gargoyle long enough, they'll eventually start ''debating philosophy''. ''Absolutely seriously''. Trying to ''philosophically'' justify robbing a carriage they weren't paid to rob that wasn't carrying any money. Glorious.
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-->"You're wearing a chicken suit, what?! A chicken suit? What are you planning to do... dressed as a chicken?"

to:

-->"You're wearing -->"You're...dressed as a chicken suit, what?! A chicken suit? chicken. What are you - what are you planning to do... do...dressed as a chicken?"
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-->"Before we go any further, I'd just like to say one thing. [[BigNo BAAAAAAA]][[AtomicFBomb LLLLLLLS!!!]]"

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-->"Before we go any further, I'd just like to say one thing. [[BigNo BAAAAAAA]][[AtomicFBomb LLLLLLLS!!!]]"LLLLLLLS!!!]]"
* The Mistpeak Valley Demon Door is writing a book, and needs two heroes to act out romance for him so he can write it. He sounds like a gentlemen, but after you finish he tells you:
--> '''Demon Door''': Thank you! Now when the two characters shag at the end, it will pop right off the page!

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