History Funny / DiscWorld

[[folder:Guards! Guards!]]

* In ''Discworld/GuardsGuards'', when the Watchmen realise than no-one has ever said 'It's practically a certainty, but it might just work' and so attempt to increase the odds of Sergeant Colon shooting a dragon to exactly a million to one (eventually blindfolded, standing on one leg, his face covered in soot and singing 'the hedgehog song').
** On that note, [[BawdySong the Hedgehog Song]].
* In ''[[Discworld/GuardsGuards Guards! Guards!]]'', Carrot tries to arrest [[spoiler:the dragon]].
** And earlier, his attempt to arrest ''Vetinari''. Particularly [[OhCrap Vimes's reaction]].
*** This one gets funnier in hindsight, as [[spoiler:Vimes arrests Vetinari in ''{{Discworld/Jingo}}'']].
** To this troper, even more so when Sgt. Colon somehow manages to vocally command Carrot's central nervous system, and sent him marching away with a few army-styled orders. Especially when the narration notes that while Vetinari is speaking to Vimes, Colon is screaming at Carrot in the background to stop marching.

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Pyramids]]

* The entire book for its work on Camels.
* The Gods' brawl over who gets to carry the sun commented on as an overexcited soccer match.
** ''It's noon! It's noon! Nooooon!'' ... "Why are you yelling into a bulrush?"

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Wyrd Sisters]]

Granny Weatherwax's trip to the theater, after refusing to admit that she doesn't quite get the concept.
--->''Someone tapped Granny on the shoulder and a voice said, 'Madam, will you kindly remove your hat?'''
--->''Granny turned around very slowly on her stool, as though propelled by hidden motors, and subjected the interrupter to a hundred kilowatt diamond-blue stare. The man wilted under it and sagged back on to his stool, her face following him all the way down.''
--->'''No,' she said.''
** There's a nice CallBack to this many books later in ''Discworld/{{Maskerade}}'', where another man asks Granny the same in the Opera House and she shrugs and does so - he's fated to die the next day, so it's the least she can do.
*** Possibly made even funnier when she admits to Nanny that she didn't warn him because she could be wrong.
** Also, the bit about apple-peeling.
-->''First, [Magrat] had to find out his name. The old peel-the-apple trick should do that. You just peeled an apple, getting one length of peel, and threw the peel behind you; it'd land in the shape of his name. Millions of girls had tried it and been inevitably disappointed, unless the loved one was called Scscs.''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Sourcery]]

* Vetinari [[BalefulPolymorph getting turned into a newt.]] [[IGotBetter He gets better]].
* The entire part where [[spoiler: the four, or rather three, horsemen get drunk]] in ''Discworld/{{Sourcery}}''.
* The bit when a voice speaks up in Rincewind's mind, saying "You rather like her, don’t you? I can tell", and the exchange afterwards. [[spoiler: it was his libido speaking.]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Mort]]

* [[AnthropomorphicPersonification Death]] tries drinking.
** And also in that book, when he goes fly fishing. As he's fishing, another fisherman is distracted by his display and falls in, so Death pulls him out. The man asks why he saved him, then spends the rest of his recovery puzzling over the answer:
--->'''Man''': What the hell did he mean "'''for later'''"?
*** Heck, just Death's version of fly fishing, for that matter. Rather than using the fly as a lure, he makes one which ''chases down and attacks'' the fish. Which are terrified.

[[/folder]]

[[folder:The Light Fantastic]]
"If you kill me a thousand more will take my place."
"But that isn't the point, is it? The point is, you'll be dead."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Equal Rites]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:The Colour of Magic]]

"Some pirates achieved immortality by grand deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great amounts of wealth. But TheCaptain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying."

[[/folder]]

* * The RunningGag of someone asking for the Deformed Rabbit shadow-puppet whenever shadow-puppets are referred to, culminating in Didactylos in ''Small Gods'' using it as the punchline in the Parable of the Cave.
* Om's curse of "Your sexual organs to sprout wings and fly away!"

[[folder:THE COLOUR OF MAGIC]]

[[folder:THE LIGHT FANTASTIC]]

[[folder:EQUAL RITES]]

[[folder:MORT]]

[[folder:SOURCERY]]

[[folder:WYRD SISTERS]]

[[folder:PYRAMIDS]]

[[folder:GUARDS GUARDS]]

[[folder:-FAUST- ERIC]]

[[folder:MOVING PICTURES]]

[[folder:REAPERMAN]]

[[folder:WITCHES ABROAD]]

[[folder:SMALL GODS]]

[[folder:LORDS AND LADIES]]

[[folder:MEN AT ARMS]]

[[folder:SOUL MUSIC]]

[[folder:INTERESTING TIMES]]

[[folder:MASKERADE]]

[[folder:FEET OF CLAY]]

[[folder:HOGFATHER]]

[[folder:JINGO]]

[[folder:THE LAST CONTINENT]]

[[folder:CARPE JUGULUM]]

[[folder:THE FIFTH ELEPHANT]]

[[folder:THE TRUTH]]

[[folder:THIEF OF TIME]]

[[folder:THE LAST HERO]]

[[folder:THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS]]

[[folder:NIGHT WATCH]]

[[folder:THE WEE FREE MEN]]

* Any time the [[Discworld/TheWeeFreeMen Nac]] [[ViolentGlaswegian Mac]] [[BadAss Feegle]] show up. ''Any'' time.

[[folder:MONSTROUS REGIMENT]]

[[folder:A HAT FULL OF SKY]]

[[folder:GOING POSTAL]]

[[folder:THUD]]

[[folder:WINTERSMITH]]

[[folder:MAKING MONEY]]

[[folder:UNSEEN ACADEMICALS]]

* The entire [[spoiler: drunk]] scene in Unseen Academicals. The fact that his character is just ''ever so slightly'' off-key leads up to a reveal which truly deserves a [=CMOF=].

[[folder:I SHALL WEAR MIDNIGHT]]

[[folder:CHARACTERS WHO ARE MENTIONED BUT NEVER APPEAR]]

* Shall we just go the whole way and say that the entire Discworld series is one giant, 40-book long CrowningMomentOfFunny?

* Vetinari says something similar to a moment in ''Discworld/Making Money''. He looks out a window and asks Hughnon Ridcully what he sees and everything is covered with fog. This doesn't throw him as such, just irritates him because the weather doesn't have the dramatic timing that he feels the moment deserves.

** What slaughtered this Troper was the female equivalent of roistering being described by Colon as 'minge drinking'

* More Safety Catch humour from Detritus:
---> '''Vimes''': What did I say about Mr. Safety Catch?
---> '''Detritus''': ''*totally serious*'' When Mr. Safety Catch is not on, Mr. Crossbow is not your friend.

* The minor RunningGag involving a dwarf officer constantly dealing with a vampire. The vampire works as a sunglasses tester, then at a job that requires dealing with holy water, then in a pencil factory, and keeps complaining about being temporarily killed while also insisting he has the right to work wherever he pleases. This troper feels deeply for that poor dwarf; however, she also can't help but laugh at his predicament.
** "We can rebuild him. We have the pottery."

* The line from Discworld/FeetOfClay after Dorfl has released the animals in the slaughterhouse district: 'The street was, as it were, coated with anxiety.' inevitably sends this Troper off.

* ThisTroper couldn't stop laughing at Nobby's repeated proclamations of "He'd go ''spare''!" in FeetOfClay.

* [[RiL This troper]] recommends the canyon scene.

* "Some pirates achieved immortality by grand deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great amounts of wealth. But TheCaptain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying."
* The RunningGag of someone asking for the Deformed Rabbit shadow-puppet whenever shadow-puppets are referred to, culminating in Didactylos in ''Small Gods'' using it as the punchline in the Parable of the Cave.

** And Tiffany's critique of the romance novel that they borrow for her.

* Rincewind getting comfortable with the Red Army controls in ''Discworld/InterestingTimes''.
** There are ''not'' 2,300,009 invisible bloodsucking vampire ghosts... Doubles as a CMOA for Rincewind.
* Also from Interesting Times: the wizards kill Hong by ''teleporting a lit cannon'' right next to him.

----
<<|SugarWiki/CrowningMomentOfFunny|>>
<<|OlderThanDirt|>>

---> '''Mr. Tulip''': It's a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginals virginal]]... an instrument for ----ing young ladies.
---> '''Curator''': My word, and I thought it was just a sort of early piano.

--> "I don't know ''how'' to vant! I don't even ''have'' a galli!" \\

* Vimes' reaction when Lady Sybil accuses him of "gallyvanting off without her":
--> "I don't know ''how'' to vant! I don't even ''have'' a gally!" \\

The Patrician's hand covered his mouth for a moment.