History Funny / DMOfTheRings

* Gimli's life hinges on whether an orc succeeded or failed on its attack roll, but unfortunately the die fell behind the computer, making it impossible to tell what it landed on, and equally impossible to move the computer without shifting the die.
-->'''Gimli:''' [[LetMeGetThisStraight So let me see if I follow this:]] I am either alive or dead, based on the state of a die which we cannot observe without altering.
-->'''Gimli:''' Do I now exist in both states at once? Am I both living ''and'' dead?
-->'''Gimli:''' (''[[RedEyesTakeWarning eyes glowing red]] and skin turning pallid'') Have I become some sort of UNCERTAINTY LICH?

* [[http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1282 Aragorn's brilliant military leadership.]] -->'''Soldier:''' You totally suck Aragorn.

* [[http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1282 Aragorn's brilliant military leadership.]] It even provides the trope image for HollywoodTactics.
-->'''Soldier:''' You totally suck Aragorn.

-->'''Soldier:''' You totally suck Aragorn.

--> '''Aragorn:''' [[{{Railroading}} Railroad]] tracks, I'm sure.

* [[https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=680 The party reaches the Doors of Durin, the West-gate of Moria]] and Gandalf reads the inscription ("Speak Friend, and Enter"). Instead of attempting to solve the riddle, [[CuttingTheKnot the party tries all manner of ways to get past the door]], such as forcing it open, burning it, and building a battering ram. Eventually the DM gets fed up:

--> '''Gimli:''' [[ImplausibleDeniability This be no axe lad.]] It's a dwarven walking stick with a really big headpiece. We like 'em heavy. Uh, and sharp.\\

* [[http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1148 A Minor Omission]]:

** This wonderful bit of snark:

* [[https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=922 When the party arrives at Edolas]] and are asked to disarm before meeting King Theoden, the players [[OffTheRails throw the scene in disarray]] by telling Gandalf to go first. Of course, he pulls the "walking stick" excuse, leading to this:

* [[https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=680 The party reaches the Doors of Durin, the West-gate of Moria]] and Gandalf reads the inscription ("Speak Friend, and Enter"). Instead of trying to solve the riddle, [[CuttingTheKnot the party attempts all manner of ways to get past the door]], such as forcing it open, burning it, and building a battering ram. Eventually the DM gets fed up:

* [[http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1282 Aragorn's brilliant military leadership.]] It even provided the trope image for HollywoodTactics!

* [[https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=680 The party reaches the Doors of Durin, the West-gate of Moria]] and Gandalf reads the inscription ("Speak Friend, and Enter"). Instead of trying to solve the riddle, [[DungeonBypass the party attempts all manner of ways to get past the door]], such as forcing it open, burning it, and building a battering ram. Eventually the DM gets fed up:

-->'''Gandalf:''' Oh for crying out loud! The passwords is '''mellon''', you lunatics!

* The party reaches the Gate of Moria and Gandalf reads the inscription ("Speak Friend, and Enter"). Instead of trying to solve the riddle, [[DungeonBypass the party attempts all other manner of ways to get past the door]], such as forcing it open, burning it, and building a battering ram. Eventually the DM gets fed up:

'''Treebeard''': ''[[FanDisservice (in all his elderly, gnarly, booming glory)]]'' '''hoom hoom welcome to isengard'''\\

* Boromir, completely fed up with the railroading, decides to die and leave the game and gives this gem:

* Gimli vs. diplomacy:

* [[http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1282 Aragorn's brilliant military leadership.]]

-->'''Gimli''': Ahem...TELL ME YOUR NAME, [[BestialityIsDepraved HORSE]]-[[CurseCutShort F--]]\\

'''Gimli''': [[JawDrop Words fail me]].\\

-->'''Gimli''': Ahem...TELL ME YOUR NAME, [[BestialityIsDepraved HORSE]]-[[CurseCutShortF--]]\\

-->'''Gimli''': Ahem...TELL ME YOUR NAME, HORSE-F--\\