History Funny / CurbYourEnthusiasm

** Later in the episode, Larry finds out where the man lives, so he proceeds to [[spoiler: bring in an '''entire orchestra''' to his house in the middle of the night [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl3Am3LY6mQ to play the song for him as revenge.]]]]

* "The Nanny from Hell": [[WhatAnIdiot Larry complimenting Hugh on his kid's large penis.]] Needless to say, it doesn't go over well.

** Also, Larry finally gets the Fatwa removed. Unfortunately, in true ''Curb'' fashion, something happens that fucks it up. In this case, it was [[spoiler:the stripper being chased around by Swat and Leon, who was hired to help Funkhouser's nephew calm down. Thanks to them, the Fatwa stayed.]]

* "Never Wait for Seconds" When someone was using a lot of ketchup, she asked about a ketchup shortage and didn't give a shit. This joke also came up after [[spoiler:the mutifs ended the Fatwa order, with 4 of them complaining about the 5th mutif using a lot of ketchup, in which Larry agreed about.]]

** Bonus points since it's not the first time Lin demanded to be satisfied, follow the Code Duello, aims at the sky and called out Larry that he is Aaron Burr. All of it because of [[spoiler: Hamilton]] Similarities: Lin's suffers the same fate but mild like Alexander too. Get's killed/disabled by the aggressor.

* Jeff explains that there could be a straggler who didn't get the memo that the Fatwa is over, but Larry ignores it. At the end of the episode, [[spoiler:there was someone who didn't get the memo and ran after Larry to kill him, while Larry says that the Fatwa is called off.]]

--> '''Cheryl''': ''(in bed)'' Where were you?\\

--> '''Jeff''': What happened to you?\\
'''Larry''': I fell in the toilet.\\
'''Jeff''': How'd you fall in the toilet?\\
'''Larry''': I went to go pee and the seat was up.\\
'''Jeff''': What does that have to do with you?\\
'''Larry''': I pee sitting down.\\

'''Larry''': Yeah. Have you ever tried it?\\
'''Jeff''': [[BigNo No!]]\\
'''Larry''': It's more comfortable, when you get up during the night you don't have to turn the light on and wake up, and you get to read.\\
'''Jeff''': What are you reading?\\
'''Larry''': I'm reading a lot of stuff.\\
'''Jeff''': What stuff?\\
'''Larry''': If I pee twenty times during the day I can get through the whole New York Times for god sake.\\
'''Jeff''': ''Twenty'' times?\\
'''Larry''': Yeah. Hey buddy, when you're peeing all over your shoe I'm learning something!

--> '''Marty''': Why do you pee sitting down?\\
'''Larry''': Many reasons.\\
'''Marty''': You crap standing up?

--> '''Muggsy''': What the fuck?! Why are you looking at my dick?!

--> '''Irv''': This is Irv Schwimmer. You motherfucking, cocksucking, son-of-a-bitch bastard! Who the fuck do you think you are?! You bald son of a- ''(credits)''

--> '''Larry''': It saddens me to be here today, mainly because my dear friend Albert Brooks is very much alive. It would've given Albert tremendous satisfaction to see all these people gathered here to pay their last respects to a man they will see again in less than an hour. I'm very sorry that Albert is faux dead, 'cause I was going to leave him some faux money. And know this: Nobody loved Christ more than Albert. Big Jesus guy. Big. Albert is the one who inspired me to become a stand-up comedian, and that, more than anything, makes me wish he's really dead.

--> '''Jeff''': "Sweet Judy Brown Eyes"! Hooooly shit! ''(tosses the doll back on the shelf)''

--> '''Susie''': Where's the head? I know you took the doll's head. Where is it? Where's the fucking head?\\
'''Jeff''': I don't know.\\
'''Susie''': The kid is home, ''hysterical'' because her doll, Judy, has been DECAPITATED, 'cause you two sickos took the head for ''God knows what'' reason, some voodoo shit you're doing. Where is it?\\
(Larry hesitantly scratches himself)\\
'''Susie''': Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is! (pause) Just get me the fucking head, all right? Both of you, 'cause I've had it, you four-eyed fuck, and you fat piece of shit! GET ME THE HEAD!!!

--> '''Tara:''' MOMMY! MOMMY! THAT BALD MAN IS IN THE BATHROOM AND ''[[MistakenForPedophile THERE'S SOMETHING HARD IN HIS PANTS!]]''

--> '''Doctor''': What do you do for a living?\\
'''Larry''': I'm a writer.\\
'''Doctor''': Next time you're in a big hurry, why don't you write me a bunch of shit for free?

--> '''Chris''': ''(showing him his ticket)'' What's the name right here? Is it your name? No, it's mine. "Chris Darga." See, if this were yours, it would say "fucking douchebag". ''(walks away)'' Asshole.\\
'''Larry''': Sorry... about your mother.

--> '''Guy''': Go fuck yourself.\\
'''Larry''': ''(sheepishly)'' Okay.

--> '''Jason''': You keep coming back to this insane thing with driving! Driving is not the issue.\\
'''Larry''': I think driving ''is'' the issue.\\
'''Jason''': We had a '''singular''' plan! We were gonna have a meeting about the show.\\
'''Larry''': So we're having a meeting.\\
'''Jason''': You could drive around the world, we still haven't had a meeting!

--> '''Larry''': You wanna check my penis? Is that what you wanna do?

'''Jeff:''' ''Shh'', it's not about that. But listen to me... You gotta get out of here at 7:00 AM in the morning.

'''Larry:''' ''Schmuck!'' Will you listen to me for a second!?

--> '''Cheryl''': ''(to Larry, after Gil and all the guests went into the other room)'' I want to leave. NOW.
* "Beloved Aunt": The obituary typo of [[CountryMatters "aunt".]]

--> '''Jeff''': You gotta go.\\
'''Larry''': What?\\
'''Jeff''': You gotta go.\\
'''Larry''': What are you talking about?\\
'''Jeff''': You felt up my mom, you gotta go.\\
'''Larry''': I copped a feel off your mom?! What are you saying to me?\\
'''Jeff''': She was moping around. I'm saying, "What's the matter?" She said, "Larry touched my bosom for several seconds."\\
'''Larry''': You schmuck! Listen to me for a second! We're in the kitchen. She wanted to try on the sunglasses again. She was looking in the toaster and I was holding the toaster she wanted to get a better look at her face in it and she leaned against the back of my hand and so, I didn't want to just turn, I didn't want to hurt her feelings by taking it away fast.\\
'''Jeff''': I'm sorry. She's all freaked out. You gotta go.\\
'''Larry''': Are you kicking me out?\\
'''Jeff''': All right, look, set the alarm. Do you know how to set the alarm?\\
'''Larry''': (incensed) ''She rubbed up against the back of my hand!''\\
'''Jeff''': I believe you, it's not about that!\\
'''Larry''': You think I feel up old ladies?!\\
'''Jeff''': It's not about that. You gotta get out of here at 7:00 in the morning.\\
'''Larry''': I'll be out of here early in the morning.\\
'''Jeff''': Grab a bagel from the kitchen and get out.\\
'''Larry''': I won't grab anything, I'll just walk out. Your mother thinks I touched her breast? That is so sick.\\
'''Jeff''': It's what she thinks, what can I say? Sweet dreams.\\
'''Larry''': Sweet dreams. I'll dream about fucking your mother.

'''Larry:''' I thought that was all part of the zoo!\\

'''Becky:'' You thought the Son of God was a ''MONKEY?!''\\

'''Larry''': No, I'll still take dessert.\\
'''Jeff''': I'll take dessert too.

--> '''Susie''': So come on, I'll give you the tour.\\
'''Larry''': You know what? that's okay. I get it.\\
'''Susie''': What do you mean?\\
'''Larry''': You know, it's bedrooms, bathrooms I get it. I see it, it's beautiful, it's great.\\
'''Susie''': You don't want a tour?\\
'''Larry''': You don't need to walk me around.\\
'''Susie''': [[HairTriggerTemper Get the fuck out of my house, okay? Get the fuck out right now!]]\\
'''Larry''': All right, fine, I'll take the house tour.\\
'''Susie''': No, no, I'm done, I'm over it. I'm turned off. Leave! Get the fuck out, okay? Freak of fucking nature, doesn't want a house tour.\\
'''Larry''': Susie, I'll take the house tour!\\
'''Susie''': No, no! No tour for you!

--> '''Larry''': I'm gonna tell you something, okay? You say one word to her-\\
'''Cheryl''': Larry, she's my best friend.\\
'''Larry''': ...I will be in Antarctica. That's how far away I will be from Southern California.\\
'''Cheryl''': You're ''that'' scared of Krazee-Eyez that you'd flee the country?\\
'''Larry''': Yeah, I am, yes, I am! I want to live, I want to have both legs. I want to have my penis, all right, and my testicles, intact.\\
'''Cheryl''': This is her life, okay? She's starting a whole new life with this guy.\\
'''Larry''': This is ''my'' life, and I'd like to live it by not going into handicapped parking.

** The outtakes reel is particularly good, as it shows just how ''easily'' it is for the actors to crack each other up while doing this. In one instance, Bob Einstein (Marty) opens his eyes wider during the stare down, prompting Larry to giggle and say how unfair it is to do that.

** Larry goes to court to fight a ticket for honking at a cop. He compares himself to Rosa Parks or Jackie Robinson- that is, a pioneer, since nobody else has honked at this particular cop. The judge sarcastically asks, "Anyone else you're in the mold of? Maybe a UsefulNotes/MartinLutherKing or a UsefulNotes/MalcolmX?"

--> MOMMY! MOMMY! THAT BALD MAN IS IN THE BATHROOM AND ''[[MistakenForPedophile THERE'S SOMETHING HARD IN HIS PANTS!]]''

* "The Pants Tent": Richard Lewis gets into an argument with Larry and threatens that he better call him by sundown. Larry is amused by this and snarks, "By sundown? What are you, Gary Cooper?" Lewis [[{{Corpsing}} smiles]] and replies, "That's funny. I'm trying not to laugh, but that's funny. You better call me by sundown." Larry continues: "By sundown? And is a posse gonna come get me?"

* "The Wire": Larry meets a man who is a big fan of Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and asks Larry to set up a meeting. Cut to later, Larry shouts over an establishing shot of his and Cheryl's house: "FUCK him!"

* "Thor", pretty much all of it. Some context: Jeff is annoyed that his wife (whom he's currently separated from) has all this dirt on him that she can tell her friends, especially material related to the bedroom. Larry says this is why he doesn't reveal any of his own fetishes to Cheryl, for fear that she will use them against him should their relationship turn sour. One day, Larry is driving and he sees Wanda Sykes out walking, so he yells "I'd know that tush anywhere!" This comment comes back to haunt him [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S5-Vx4hlr4 later]], as Cheryl accuses Larry of saying Wanda has a fat ass. Larry defends his comment, as he didn't mean anything derisive about it, and would say the same if she had a small ass. Cheryl then wonders if Larry has a big ass fetish, which Larry vehemently denies, as he doesn't want Cheryl to have any dirt on him. Things get even funnier when Wanda visits the two and busts his chops about his comment, essentially calling him an ass-loving pervert.

** The subplot where Larry is annoyed at Jason Alexander for always wanting to have meetings at his own office instead of Larry's (so he doesn't have to drive anywhere). Larry was late for a meeting because of traffic, so the "meeting" ended up not discussing the potential TV project but setting up the next meeting instead. Larry argued that it should count anyway:

--> MOMMY! MOMMY! THAT BALD MAN IS IN THE BATHROOM AND ''[[Main/MistakenForPedophile THERE'S SOMETHING HARD IN HIS PANTS!]]''

* "The Special Section": Larry David acting in an amazingly accurate [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0dghVN8ZWw parody]] of ''Creator/MartinScorsese'' mobster flicks.

* In "The Larry David Sandwich", Larry tries to switch sandwiches with Ted Danson, who doesn't want to go through with it.

** Richard Lewis's latest girlfriend is a burlesque dancer with big breasts. Marty gets off a great quip:

* "Larry vs. Michael J. Fox": Leon, on the loud clomping Fox is doing upstairs, keeping him and Larry up at night:

** Larry tries to ask Mary Steenburgen out, since Ted is now dating Cheryl. She turns him down, saying he's not her type.

** Larry goes to court to fight a ticket for honking at a cop. He compares himself to Rosa Parks or Jackie Robinson- that is, a pioneer, since nobody else has honked at this particular cop. The judge sarcastically asks, "Anyone else you're in the mold of? Maybe a Martin Luther King or a Malcolm X?"

[[/folder]]

--> [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=551ml3YH5LM Mommy mommy! That bald man's in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!!]]