History Funny / CodeMENT

-->''[[{{Beat}} Long awkward silence ensues for a good minute.]]''

-->''(Cut back)''

'''Lelouch:''' [[FlatWhat What?]] ''(beat)'' No, no. I meant the blindness.\\
''(another beat, this time longer)''\\

'''Lelouch:''' [[NoodleIncident He lit our Slip 'N Slide on fire.]]\\

'''Lelouch:''' [[BlackComedy While I was on it!]]

-->(cut)
-->'''Charles:''' This job is bitching good!
-->(cut back)
-->'''Lelouch:''' With dad being the king and all, one wife wasn't his thing. Unfortunately, it was only too late he discovered the downside of having too many wives.
-->(cut)
-->'''Charles:''' If I've got to watch one more episode of Bridezillas, I'm going to ''saw my own arm off.''
-->(cut back)

-->(cut)

-->(cut back)
-->'''Lelouch:''' We had a fuck-ton of half brothers and sisters, who all lived with us at dad's place. And ''my'' '''God''' we were motherlicking adorable. For the most part we tolerated each other. However, we sometimes got on each other's nerves.[Image of young Lelouch and young Nunnally fighting over plate] In my defence, she would not let go of that plate. Of course there was that one half brother...Dah, never mind. Anyway, one day I went along with dad on a diplomatic trip to Japan. You see, Japan used to be great independent nation, led by a great man. (image of Abraham Lincoln with a gatling gun arm) There was only one flaw. His son.
-->(cut)

-->(cut back)
-->'''Lelouch:''' After one tragic Slip'n'Slide incident, I decided we should return home--[image of young Lelouch with Hair on fire]--only to find that my mom had gone and gotten herself shot.
-->(cut)
-->'''Marianne:''' [through hail of bullets] That smarts!
-->(cut back)

-->'''Charles:''' [Thinking]''What was I thinking about just now? Something about Japan.''[Out loud] We're taking over Japan. [thinking] ''Booya!''

-->(cut)

-->(Cut back)

-->(cut to ThoseTwoGuys)

-->(cut back)

-->[Beat]

* Episode 4: Suzaku's human vuvuzela, and pretty much the whole interrogation scene.
-->''Bite me banana man!''

-->'''Suzaku:''' No; [[BlueAndOrangeMorality it'd be against my moral compass.]]\\
'''Lelouch:''' '''Your fucking moral compass is a ''roulette wheel''!'''

-->'''Suzaku:''' No; it'd be against my moral compass.
-->'''Lelouch:''' '''Your fucking moral compass is a ''roulette wheel''!'''

-->"Hey where the hell is camera 3?" "He said he was gonna go get some action shots." "THIS-IS-GONNA-BE-THE-BEST-SHOT-EVER!!" *plummeting out of building.*

-->'''One:''' We are the Dark Knights for justice... because, as children, we were nursed on the milk of justice, and, as we grew up, we acquired a taste for justice. Now, as we get older, we once again desire the taste of justice... but we cannot find the milk, so we go to Starbucks, and we get a coffee, but it's not the same thing! IT SUCKS! WHY DID I ORDER THIS?! IT'S TERRIBLE! And, now, you all understand what our mission is. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis And! What! We! Must! Do!]]

-->''Shirley points her gun at Villetta'' CLICK

-->''Shirley points her gun at Villetta''

-->'''Shirley:''' ''[Affirmative Babbling]''

-->''Beat''

** And the aftermath of Shirley successfully blackmailing Lelouch into going with her, leading to a very... [[{{Squick}} Squicky]] expression of joy on her part. We see Shirley leaning against a wall congratulating herself and stating she feels [[IncrediblyLamePun relieved]]. And then she proceeds to urinate for at least twenty seconds (even ''she'' seems surprised at how long it goes), creating a [[UpToEleven tidal wave of urine]].

-->'''Kid:'''[[RageBreakingPoint LEARN WHAT?!]] ''Your whole goddamn school just kills people!'' Between you and team dumbmatch over there you've collectively killed my entire social life!

-->'''Kid:''' ... [Monokuma's] whole goddamn school just kills people! Between you and team dumbmatch over there you've collectively killed my entire social life!

-->'''Kid:''' Oh, yeah, every time someone dies, ''I'' have to do the paperwork. It's kind of like working at the DMV, only slightly less horrifying.

-->'''Suzaku''': I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!
-->'''Lelouch''': '''WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE ''SOUP STORE?!'''''

-->'''Villetta:''' (walking up to her) There you are. You are not allowed to run around here! What the hell is this? (sees One's face) Holy sh**! It's One! We've done it! We're going to b national heroes! It's over! It's finally over! ''[Loud Laughter]''

-->'''Villetta:'''[[OhCrap You love him, don't you?]]

-->'''Villetta:'''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck F*ck me.]]
-->'''Gun:'''BANG

--->'''Mao:''' Hoho! WHOA! Buddy, buddy! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!.... YES!

--->'''Lelouch:''' [[FamousLastWords Relax, I've got this under control!]]

--->'''Lelouch:''' What are you talking about?! I spent the entirety of yesterday watching the funny episodes of ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond''. ''[thinking to himself]'' YouFool! Everyone ''knows'' [[TakeThat those don't exist!]]\\

-->'''Lelouch''': You think that's bad.? Mine died by eating its own babies. That's not ''FOOD'', Tamagotchi! That's just not ''FOOD''!

-->'''Mao''': What do you mean you pooped yourself to death?! *Throw Tamagotchi toy to ground*
-->'''Lelouch''': You think that's bad. Mine died by eating its own babies. That's not ''FOOD'', Tamagotchi! That's just not ''FOOD''!

Where do we begin....

--> '''Clovis''': Fellow citizens of Britannia! I give you, The Music/PussycatDolls.

* The opening to Episode 5, its entirety. Can you say "pure crack"?

One of the most iconic scenes in all of abridging.

-->'''Lelouch''': What do you mean you can't find them?

-->'''Lelouch''': What do you mean "there's more soup"?!

-->'''Lelouch:''' Suck my ass woman! ''(Alt. Text: Or in Romanian "Inhale my goat")'' We've got some clothes to find!
-->'''C.C.:''' You can suck ''my'' ass.

** Well, not ''that'' much smarter. This leads to one of the most iconic scenes in all of abridging.
-->'''Lelouch''': (on the phone to Suzaku) Hello?
-->'''Suzaku''': Hey, what's up?
-->'''Lelouch''': I need your help. Can you come here?
-->'''Suzaku''': I can't. I'm buying clothes.
-->'''Lelouch''': Alright, well hurry up and come over here.
-->'''Suzaku''': I can't find them.
-->'''Lelouch''': What do you mean you can't find them?
-->'''Suzaku''': I can't find them. There's only soup.
-->'''Lelouch''': What do you mean "there's only soup"?
-->'''Suzaku''': It means ''there's only soup.''
-->'''Lelouch''': Well then ''[[SuddenlyShouting get out of the soup aisle]]!''
-->'''Suzaku''': Alright, you don't have to shout at me!
-->(Suzaku moves to the next aisle)
-->'''Suzaku''': There's more soup!
-->'''Lelouch''': What do you mean "there's more soup"?!
-->'''Suzaku''': There's just more soup!
-->'''Lelouch''': Go into the next aisle!
-->'''Suzaku''': (moves to the next aisle) There's still soup!
-->'''Lelouch''': Where are you right now?!
-->'''Suzaku''': I'm at soup!
-->'''Lelouch''': WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE "AT SOUP"?!
-->'''Suzaku''': I MEAN I'M ''AT SOUP''!
-->'''Lelouch''': WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!
-->'''Suzaku''': I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!
-->'''Lelouch''': '''WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE ''SOUP STORE?!'''''
-->'''Suzaku''': '''''FUCK YOU!!'''''
** Hell, ALL of Lelouch and Suzaku's conversations are hilarious in this episode.

* Episode four: Suzaku's human vuvuzela, and pretty much the whole interrogation scene.

[[folder: Episodes 1 - 8]]

[[folder: Misc.]]

--->*another explosion*
**
-->'''Correspondent''': If only there was some way to stall for time. If only somebody who'd obtained the recent attention of all rebel forces, somebody who'd freed a political prisoner from an armed escort, someone who'd escaped a FULL MILITARY MANHUNT, would help us, in this time of need. Someone...who likes white neckerchiefs.
** cut to Kallen and One

-->''C.C. rifles through Shirley's pantie drawer.''

* Misc:
** Any time the guy with the chipmunk voice calls Lelouch.
** The bonus videos are also loaded with moments of hilarity. HD Origins has [[TooDumbToLive Suzaku]] talk about the history of televisions. HilarityEnsues.
--> '''Suzaku:''' See, Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. He believed that everyone's televisions should compete for the best picture quality.
-->'''Lelouch:''' ''(to Jeremiah)'' You believe this?
-->'''Jeremiah:''' I stopped listening months ago.
-->'''Lelouch:''' We've only been out here for like two minutes.
-->'''Jeremiah:''' Yeah, where is 'here' exactly?
-->'''Lelouch:'''...I don't know!
** There's also the video about the trio getting a bunch of fake 'TAC' awards.
-->'''Jeremiah:''' Here's a list of the categories we've won. [[SelfDeprecation 'Best Stolen Idea Since Facebook'.]]
-->'''Suzaku and Lelouch:''' HOORAY!
-->'''Jeremiah:''' Okay, ''that'' award shouldn't have warranted that particular reaction from you two.
-->'''Lelouch:''' Hey, I'll take them where I can get them.
-->'''Jeremiah:''' Moving on. The 'Burns My Eyeballs Just Watching It' award.
-->'''Suzaku and Lelouch:''' YAAAAY!
-->'''Jeremiah:''' ''(as the other two continue to cheer in the background)'' Well, let it never be said that you two can't be optimistic.
** Anything Guilford says. It's a mixture of his voice and his determination to kill anybody. He basically sounds like Tyson before a fight.
--> "Let me at 'em; I'll f*ck 'em up!"
* This:
--> '''Nina:''' "Man I'm hungry. Hey you! Make me a sandwich.
--> '''Soldier:''' "You know back in [[GloriousMotherRussia Mother Russia]], one sandwich feeds an entire village for 30 days!"
--> '''Nina:''' "I'll feed my foot up your ass for 30 days if you don't feed me!"
* Lelouch's insistence that [[EskimosArentReal British people aren't real]]. [[note]]The weirdest part is that thanks to the AlternateHistory, [[TheCuckoolanderWasRight he's right]].[[/note]]
-->'''Lelouch:''' Have you ever seen a British person? I haven't, so therefore, they don't exist.
-->'''C.C.:''' Just because you haven't met one doesn't mean they don't exist.
-->'''Lelouch:''' ''(mockingly)'' Oh my god you guys, British people are real, they're walking around everywhere! ''(normal voice)'' They're like the Wolfman! They're not real!
-->'''C.C.:''' You've gotta be kidding me.
-->'''Lelouch:''' Look at the English dictionary! The ''English'' dictionary! [[InsaneTrollLogic All the words in there are]] ''[[InsaneTrollLogic American!]]''
-->'''C.C.:''' You're insane!
-->'''Lelouch:''' ''(knocks her over and straddles her)'' I LOVE YOU!
** Speaking of nationalities:
-->'''One:''' We're just gonna have to get money the old fashioned American way!
-->'''Kallen:''' We're not in America.
-->'''One:''' By stealing it from old people!
-->'''Kallen:''' We're in Japan.
-->'''One:''' TO THE INTERNET!
* The maddeningly deranged Pursuit of Happiness is nothing but this. It's a crossover between WebVideo/NullmetalAlchemist, Code MENT, WebVideo/DanganronpaAbridgedThing, WebVideo/NonePiece, and Soul Whatever, which creates just as much stupidity as you might think. Seriously, it makes the previous crossover sound perfectly sane.
-->'''Lelouch:''' Oh no! We're entering plot territory! Everyone brace yourselves!
-->'''Al:''' So you mean things might start making sense?
-->'''C.C.:''' (Suddenly appears in a puff of smoke) I wouldn't count on that.
-->'''Suzaku:''' Hey, I dressed myself today! What's up?
** Lelouch's attempt to use his Geass:
-->'''Edward:''' So, Lelouch...
-->'''Lelouch:''' Edward!
-->'''Edward:''' What brings you to our neck of the woods, mate?
-->'''Lelouch:''' I'm here researching Geass.
-->'''Edward:''' Oh, yeah? So what did you learn?
-->'''Lelouch:''' That I am ''amazingly'' bad at researching Geass. [[EpicFail Somehow I've managed to find out ''less'' about my powers]]. Seriously, watch this! *his Geass eye charges up and fires a purple bolt. It ricochets off Al and hits him in the head* Oh, shit! *collapses*
** Early on, Death the Kid appears out of thin air through sheer hate and rage directed at everyone else.
-->'''Kid:''' NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
** Death the Kid's motivation:
-->'''Kid:''' ... [Monokuma's] whole goddamn school just kills people! Between you and team dumbmatch over there you've collectively killed my entire social life!
-->'''Luffy:''' Wait, [[FlatWhat what]]?
-->'''Kid:''' Oh, yeah, every time someone dies, ''I'' have to do the paperwork. It's kind of like working at the DMV, only slightly less horrifying.
-->'''Luffy:''' So, you mean to tell me that we're on the goddamn ''moon'' because [[PunctuatedForEmphasis You're. Upset.]] [[SuddenlyShouting WITH YOUR]] ''[[SuddenlyShouting SOCIAL LIFE]]''!?
-->'''Ishimaru:''' YOUR SOCIAL LIFE IS NOT WELCOME IN THIS MOON ENVIRONMENT!
-->'''Zoro:''' I'M YELLING ALSO!

** The explanation for why there's a motion activated machine gun in the sewers: Apparently the school sends a janitor down there every month before payday. They never realized that firing it costs just as much as actually paying their janitors.

-->'''[[InsistentTerminology Soldier 2:]]''' No, didn't you read the caption earlier? It's a UVARD.

** I don't know ''what'' the hell is up with the chipmunk voice of whoever's calling Lelouch but I hope that gag never dies