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'''Adam:''' [[Literature/TheHost https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/TheHost]]\\
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'''Adam:''' [[Literature/TheHost https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/TheHost]]\\Literature/TheHost2008\\
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[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/08/book-1-invasion.html Book 1: The Invasion]]]]
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[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/08/book-2-visitor.html Book 2: The Visitor]]]]
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[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/10/book-10-android.html Book 10: The Encounter]]]]
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[[folder:Book 10: The Encounter]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/10/book-10-android.html Book 10: The Encounter]]]]
*A discussion of symbolism ends hilariously.
-->'''Adam''': But I can honestly say that the one thing that you shouldn't do with it is throw it in the ocean.\\
'''Adam''': Because a dog tells you to.\\
'''Ifi''': No offense but dogs are not very bright\\
'''Ifi''': My dog would run after a ball if you just pretended to throw it\\
'''Adam''': Hence why they are not the best source of advice when it comes to advanced alien technology.\\
'''Ifi''': Whatever it is like symbolic\\
'''Ifi''': it is a symbol\\
'''Ifi''': it is symbolism\\
'''Adam''': It is symbolic of the characters being [[IdiotBall idiots]]
[[/folder]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/10/book-10-android.html Book 10: The Encounter]]]]
*A discussion of symbolism ends hilariously.
-->'''Adam''': But I can honestly say that the one thing that you shouldn't do with it is throw it in the ocean.\\
'''Adam''': Because a dog tells you to.\\
'''Ifi''': No offense but dogs are not very bright\\
'''Ifi''': My dog would run after a ball if you just pretended to throw it\\
'''Adam''': Hence why they are not the best source of advice when it comes to advanced alien technology.\\
'''Ifi''': Whatever it is like symbolic\\
'''Ifi''': it is a symbol\\
'''Ifi''': it is symbolism\\
'''Adam''': It is symbolic of the characters being [[IdiotBall idiots]]
[[/folder]]
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:Book 12: The Reaction]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/11/book-12-reaction.html Book 12: The Reaction]]]]
* More missed potential:
-->'''Adam:''' You know, it would have been interesting if they had brought up the whole Morph Allergy thing again later.\\
'''Adam:''' Maybe Visser Three was allergic to one of his giant space monsters.\\
'''Ifi:''' That would be a funny story.\\
'''Ifi:''' He'd be insufferable\\
'''Adam:''' And he has to [[EvilIsHammy try to keep himself calm]] for the week.\\
'''Adam:''' Which I don't see happening.\\
'''Adam:''' The other Controllers would be running around like mad to bring him tea and play soothing music for him.\\
'''Ifi:''' I WILL ADD THIS TO MY FANFIC\\
[[folder:Book 12: The Reaction]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/11/book-12-reaction.html Book 12: The Reaction]]]]
* More missed potential:
-->'''Adam:''' You know, it would have been interesting if they had brought up the whole Morph Allergy thing again later.\\
'''Adam:''' Maybe Visser Three was allergic to one of his giant space monsters.\\
'''Ifi:''' That would be a funny story.\\
'''Ifi:''' He'd be insufferable\\
'''Adam:''' And he has to [[EvilIsHammy try to keep himself calm]] for the week.\\
'''Adam:''' Which I don't see happening.\\
'''Adam:''' The other Controllers would be running around like mad to bring him tea and play soothing music for him.\\
'''Ifi:''' I WILL ADD THIS TO MY FANFIC\\
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:Book 11: The Forgotten]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/11/book-11-forgotten.html Book 11: The Forgotten]]]]
* A discussion about the [[HungryJungle wonders]] of the rainforest gets sidetracked.
-->'''Ifi:''' You need fire to get leeches off\\
'''Adam:''' That's your solution to everything.\\
'''Ifi:''' FIAAAAAAAAAAR\\
'''Adam:''' *slowly edges away*\\
'''Ifi:''' I'm sorry I started thinking about fire and I just got so excited
[[folder:Book 11: The Forgotten]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/11/book-11-forgotten.html Book 11: The Forgotten]]]]
* A discussion about the [[HungryJungle wonders]] of the rainforest gets sidetracked.
-->'''Ifi:''' You need fire to get leeches off\\
'''Adam:''' That's your solution to everything.\\
'''Ifi:''' FIAAAAAAAAAAR\\
'''Adam:''' *slowly edges away*\\
'''Ifi:''' I'm sorry I started thinking about fire and I just got so excited
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[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Book 1: The Invasion]]
[[folder:Book 1: The Invasion]]
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:Book 2: The Visitor]]
[[folder:Book 2: The Visitor]]
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'''Adam:''' It’s like some sort of spaceship version of EveryCarIsAPinto
to:
'''Adam:''' It’s like some sort of spaceship version of EveryCarIsAPintoEveryCarIsAPinto
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Book 3: The Encounter]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/09/book-3-encounter.html Book 3: The Encounter]]]]
* To start the review:
-->'''Ifi:''' The adventures of emohawk\\
'''Adam:''' ANGST\\
'''Adam:''' ANGGGST\\
'''Adam:''' They even have an angst version of the standard recap for us to enjoy\\
'''Ifi:''' You know, I was way too hard on the last book.\\
'''Ifi:''' It was not NEARLY as angsty\\
'''Adam:''' Aren't you grateful to have this to make up for it?
* Adam and Ifi claiming that ''Animorphs'' takes place in the ''Captain Planet'' universe:
-->'''Adam:''' I'm telling you, this series takes place in the captain planet-verse\\
'''Adam:''' They fight poachers, crazed hillbillies, and evil used car salesman\\
'''Adam:''' The Yeerk invasion is really an afterthought\\
'''Ifi:''' Are there any sexy mad scientist ladies?\\
'''Adam:''' Well, there's the one who ends up torturing Tobias in a later book\\
'''Adam:''' She even has the facial scars!\\
'''Ifi:''' Okay it is official.
* A couple paragraphs in and the review still hasn't really started because now our duo are talking about ''Animorphs''' presence on the internet:
-->'''Adam:''' I'm grateful that this series was popular before the internet rose to prominence. The amount of horrifying furry art that could have resulted could easily have been much worse\\
'''Ifi:''' Oh that is true. I didn't even consider that.\\
'''Ifi:''' I think furries prefer cartoons, though.\\
'''Ifi:''' And anthro style. Not full animal.\\
'''Ifi:''' I think?\\
'''Adam:''' And [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog sonic]]\\
'''Adam:''' Yes\\
'''Ifi:''' I don't know where the main Animorph fan communities are hiding, come to think of it. They're certainly not on ff.net, because that site is a joke.\\
'''Ifi:''' I checked out the Animorphs section a few weeks ago, I think.\\
'''Adam:''' And what did you find, pray tell?\\
'''Ifi:''' Well, there was this one fascinating fic that opened in the Yeerk pool.\\
'''Ifi:''' And there was a charming little girl in the cages, where they keep involuntary hosts.\\
'''Ifi:''' And while she's there, she strikes up a conversation with the Hork-Bajir next to her and proceeds to convert him to Christianity.\\
'''Ifi:''' It was then that I punched clear through my monitor.\\
'''Ifi:''' So I don't actually know how it ended\\
'''Adam:''' Zeus ends up killing them with lightening\\
'''Ifi:''' We can only hope
* Ifi referring to the female red-tailed hawk in this book as "that slutty hawk".
* Adam getting hungry for some reason:
-->'''Ifi:''' Then, mid-plot, Tobias has a nervous breakdown for like thirty pages.\\
'''Ifi:''' It's been building up, but it really starts when he kills a rat.\\
'''Ifi:''' And then he totally flips out, flies around the mall, and then goes AWOL for a few days, leaving everyone to worry.\\
'''Adam:''' That scene made me hungry\\
'''Ifi:''' Uh okay\\
'''Ifi:''' Want to explain that?\\
'''Adam:''' I am a terrible person\\
'''Adam:''' You should know this by now
* "Wait, what would you call it if Ax were to kill someone with an axe?" -Adam
* Finishing off the review by discussing romance:
-->'''Adam:''' Now, as far as I can tell, you are a girl. Can I get your stance on this?\\
'''Ifi:''' They can't even hug!\\
'''Adam:''' They do, but it is just awkward for everyone involved\\
'''Adam:''' Just like in real life!\\
'''Ifi:''' I mean, it makes sense that there are relationships within the group because they are like bonded by trauma and whatnot.\\
'''Ifi:''' But Tobias and Rachel have no clue what to do about any of it so we just get these awkward scenes with them sitting there staring at each other.\\
'''Adam:''' I repeat my statement from earlier\\
'''Ifi:''' *stare*\\
'''Ifi:''' *stare*\\
'''Ifi:''' "Sooo."\\
'''Ifi:''' "Yep."\\
'''Ifi:''' "..."\\
'''Ifi:''' "..."\\
'''Ifi:''' *flies away*\\
'''Adam:''' Romance, folks!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Book 4: The Message]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/09/book-4-message.html Book 4: The Message]]]]
* On Cassie's Dad's indifference:
-->'''Ifi:''' Cassie almost gets caught by her dad, but he is totally indifferent to the fact she is standing in the barn at like 3 AM\\
'''Adam:''' And that she is a furry\\
'''Ifi:''' "Do you have a tail?"\\
'''Ifi:''' "Uh. No?"\\
'''Ifi:''' "Okay. Go to bed."\\
'''Ifi:''' -leaves-\\
'''Adam:''' *mutters* "Damn, I need to lay off the expresso…"
* On the strange dreams that Tobias and Cassie are having:
-->'''Ifi:''' None of the other Animorphs really know how to react to the dream thing, though Marco makes a really odd Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood reference.
--->"I've had weird dreams about falling from way up high and when I finally land I'm in Mister Rogers' Neighborhood talking to King Friday."\\
\\
----Book Four, The Message
-->'''Ifi:''' Uh ok Marco\\
'''Adam:''' So now we know what Marco does in his spare time\\
'''Adam:''' He watches PBS shows\\
'''Adam:''' Suddenly I find him easier to identify with
* Adam and Ifi discussing plot convenience.
-->'''Ifi:''' This series is convenient as all hell\\
'''Adam:''' Well, they do mention that there are days where nothing happens,\\
'''Adam:''' Would you like a chapter where Jake has difficulty writing an essay on 18th century economics?\\
'''Ifi:''' Don't be ridiculous\\
'''Ifi:''' He's in middle school\\
'''Adam:''' An essay on the civil war then\\
'''Ifi:''' Exactly
* When Cassie and Tobias look suspicious while loitering:
-->'''Adam:''' So, to no one’s surprise, someone sees them, and they start getting shot at\\
'''Ifi:''' With a SHOTGUN\\
'''Ifi:''' Who the hell brought a SHOTGUN to the secret alien meeting?\\
'''Adam:''' Less suspicious\\
'''Adam:''' Or possibly more suspicious\\
'''Adam:''' I can't quite tell\\
'''Ifi:''' "We...we have lasers."\\
'''Ifi:''' [[ShotgunsAreJustBetter "NO WAY MAN THIS SHOTGUN IS THE BEST."]]\\
'''Ifi:''' "I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOTGUN."\\
'''Ifi:''' [[ICallItVera "I CALL HER VERA."]]\\
'''Ifi:''' "ALIENS RUN IN TERROR BEFORE DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUNS, MAN."\\
'''Adam:''' Great way to be taken seriously\\
'''Adam:''' Well hey, aliens or not, a shotgun is effective for blowing big messy holes in people\\
'''Adam:''' [[ThatCameOutWrong …wow that did not come out the way I intended]]\\
'''Ifi:''' No, tell us more about blowing holes in people.\\
'''Adam:''' MOVING ON
* On Jake's sudden interest in Cassie:
-->'''Ifi:''' Jake and Cassie make googly eyes at each other while shoveling manure\\
'''Adam:''' He apparently has a picture of her on his dresser\\
'''Adam:''' Aren't these kid's 13?\\
'''Ifi:''' Actually yeah, that is odd.\\
'''Ifi:''' If he has a picture of her, it should be hidden because he'd be embarrassed\\
'''Ifi:''' Not in a frame in plain sight\\
'''Adam:''' And it isn't like Cassie is someone he would logistically be spending a lot of time with before the whole alien invasion thing\\
'''Adam:''' She's his cousin's best friend\\
'''Ifi:''' Jake you're a creeper!\\
'''Adam:''' His cousin who he was previously not very close with\\
'''Adam:''' And she's apparently had him over for dinner\\
'''Adam:''' With what I just said, makes absolutely no sense\\
'''Ifi:''' Creepers gonna creep\\
'''Adam:''' I must make an image macro of this\\
'''Ifi:''' Yeah you do that
** Once again, this is followed by "[image removed for being unfunny]".
* Cassie is not angsty enough.
-->'''Ifi:''' Cassie doesn't angst very well.\\
'''Ifi:''' She's going to have to work on that if she wants to be a proper Animorph\\
'''Adam:''' She can take lessons from Tobias
* The weirdness of Tobias trying to use a watch:
-->'''Ifi:''' Tobias gets a watch!\\
'''Adam:''' I have mixed feelings about the watch\\
'''Ifi:''' --Pros--\\
'''Ifi:''' 1. It's a good idea\\
'''Ifi:''' 2. It's pretty funny\\
'''Ifi:''' 3. It's symbolic\\
'''Ifi:''' --Cons--\\
'''Ifi:''' 1. WTF\\
'''Ifi:''' 2. How does that even work\\
'''Adam:''' I mean, he has good vision, but that doesn't seem like it would be in his line of sight\\
'''Ifi:''' And how could they get it tight enough to fit on his leg?\\
'''Adam:''' Duct tape\\
'''Ifi:''' Did you just decide that.\\
'''Adam:''' The universe decided that.\\
'''Ifi:''' So, yes, then.
* The debut of [[http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-szAssvMGOGo/TmwNmJxqztI/AAAAAAAAAdU/OqPOXw72qb4/s1600/jesus_whale_.jpg "Jesus Whale"]].
* The brilliant plan of Jesus Whale:
-->'''Ifi:''' Cassie believes she can find the Andalite from the information the whale gave her when they, like, mind-melded\\
'''Adam:''' So instead of locking her up in a nice padded cell where she belongs, they decide to follow the whale's advice\\
'''Ifi:''' The plan that they come up with is...\\
'''Ifi:''' Well\\
'''Ifi:''' It's so\\
'''Ifi:''' I just\\
'''Ifi:''' I don't\\
'''Ifi:''' I'm going to just copy and paste it
--->"We morph into seagulls," I said, picking up the plan we'd worked out. "Then we fly out into the shipping channel. We land on a tanker or a container ship or something that's going the right direction. We morph back to human, rest up, let the ship get us closer, then jump over the side, morph to dolphin and go the rest of the way."\\
\\
----Book Four, The Message
-->'''Adam:''' ...\\
'''Adam:''' [[SarcasmFailure Yeah, I got nothing]]\\
'''Ifi:''' Anyway, the plan actually works because apparently the ship has no crew.\\
'''Adam:''' Or else it is piloted entirely by deaf mutes who can't feel vibrations either\\
'''Ifi:''' WHERE IS EVERYONE\\
'''Adam:''' They went to go commune with the whales
* Ifi gushing about Ax:
-->'''Ifi:''' Oh Ax, I want to take you home and cuddle you\\
'''Adam:''' So we now know what Ifi's ideal man is like\\
'''Adam:''' Six limbed, blue and with a weaponized butt\\
'''Ifi:''' Yes that’s right\\
'''Adam:''' =X
* In reference to Taxxons:
--->I expected it to be like the shark - hard, tough, unyielding. It was not. It was like hitting a soggy paper bag with a sledgehammer. The Taxxon burst like a dropped watermelon.\\
\\
----Book Four, The Message
-->'''Ifi:''' That is incredibly poor design.\\
'''Adam:''' How on earth have they survived this long?\\
'''Ifi:''' I'm surprised they weren't all wiped out by a freak breeze.\\
'''Adam:''' Indeed\\
'''Ifi:''' By the way you guys are all murderers so congrats.\\
'''Adam:''' I’m pretty sure they were by the first book\\
'''Ifi:''' Yeah but this was the worst so far. And they are totally unbothered by it because Taxxons are ugly anyway.\\
'''Adam:''' Cassie does seem upset by it\\
'''Ifi:''' For exactly one line.\\
'''Adam:''' It's…better then nothing?
* Visser Three's weekends:
-->'''Ifi:''' No way man he spends his weekends looking for awesome morphs\\
'''Adam:''' This is what he does instead of playing golf\\
'''Ifi:''' Golf is boring as all hell anyway.\\
'''Ifi:''' And the Taxxons eat the flags\\
'''Adam:''' It was the flags faults for looking so tasty\\
'''Ifi:''' Oh sure blame the victims
* On the book's romance:
-->'''Ifi:''' Cassie and Jake do the exact same romantic confession thing that Rachel and Tobias did in the LAST book when they thought they were gonna die.
---><Jake?> I said. <I wanted to tell you...>\\
<Yes. Me, too, Cassie,> he said.\\
\\
----Book Four, The Message\\
\\
<Rachel...I never told you...>\\
<You didn't have to, Tobias,> she said. <I knew. Good-bye.>\\
\\
----Book Three, The Encounter
-->'''Adam:''' And then in the next book we have that with Marco and Ax
* Talking about how Ax combines the DNA of the 4 human Animorphs to make a unique human morph:
-->'''Ifi:''' Actually, I wanted to talk about the DNA blending thing he did.\\
'''Adam:''' Go ahead\\
'''Ifi:''' He took DNA from four different people and made a composite of them. This skill could come in useful in many situations, but it's never used again, as far as I know.\\
'''Adam:''' I mean, it would make enough sense that he couldn't use this for different species, but I’m sure there's still some practical use for it\\
'''Ifi:''' I bet you could totally make a liger.\\
'''Adam:''' …this is probably true\\
'''Ifi:''' Isn’t that what you learn in Andalite school?\\
'''Adam:''' He wasn't paying attention\\
'''Ifi:''' It’s okay I forgive him\\
'''Ifi:''' JUST AS JESUS WHALE FORGAVE US ALL\\
'''Adam:''' *cue Latin chanting*
* The way the review ends: with [[http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fwTTSwky_Gw/TmTiwmzztAI/AAAAAAAAAdM/Ac9hoRbJQfQ/s1600/lisafrank.jpg a Lisa Frank journal cover]].
[[/folder]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Book 3: The Encounter]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/09/book-3-encounter.html Book 3: The Encounter]]]]
* To start the review:
-->'''Ifi:''' The adventures of emohawk\\
'''Adam:''' ANGST\\
'''Adam:''' ANGGGST\\
'''Adam:''' They even have an angst version of the standard recap for us to enjoy\\
'''Ifi:''' You know, I was way too hard on the last book.\\
'''Ifi:''' It was not NEARLY as angsty\\
'''Adam:''' Aren't you grateful to have this to make up for it?
* Adam and Ifi claiming that ''Animorphs'' takes place in the ''Captain Planet'' universe:
-->'''Adam:''' I'm telling you, this series takes place in the captain planet-verse\\
'''Adam:''' They fight poachers, crazed hillbillies, and evil used car salesman\\
'''Adam:''' The Yeerk invasion is really an afterthought\\
'''Ifi:''' Are there any sexy mad scientist ladies?\\
'''Adam:''' Well, there's the one who ends up torturing Tobias in a later book\\
'''Adam:''' She even has the facial scars!\\
'''Ifi:''' Okay it is official.
* A couple paragraphs in and the review still hasn't really started because now our duo are talking about ''Animorphs''' presence on the internet:
-->'''Adam:''' I'm grateful that this series was popular before the internet rose to prominence. The amount of horrifying furry art that could have resulted could easily have been much worse\\
'''Ifi:''' Oh that is true. I didn't even consider that.\\
'''Ifi:''' I think furries prefer cartoons, though.\\
'''Ifi:''' And anthro style. Not full animal.\\
'''Ifi:''' I think?\\
'''Adam:''' And [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog sonic]]\\
'''Adam:''' Yes\\
'''Ifi:''' I don't know where the main Animorph fan communities are hiding, come to think of it. They're certainly not on ff.net, because that site is a joke.\\
'''Ifi:''' I checked out the Animorphs section a few weeks ago, I think.\\
'''Adam:''' And what did you find, pray tell?\\
'''Ifi:''' Well, there was this one fascinating fic that opened in the Yeerk pool.\\
'''Ifi:''' And there was a charming little girl in the cages, where they keep involuntary hosts.\\
'''Ifi:''' And while she's there, she strikes up a conversation with the Hork-Bajir next to her and proceeds to convert him to Christianity.\\
'''Ifi:''' It was then that I punched clear through my monitor.\\
'''Ifi:''' So I don't actually know how it ended\\
'''Adam:''' Zeus ends up killing them with lightening\\
'''Ifi:''' We can only hope
* Ifi referring to the female red-tailed hawk in this book as "that slutty hawk".
* Adam getting hungry for some reason:
-->'''Ifi:''' Then, mid-plot, Tobias has a nervous breakdown for like thirty pages.\\
'''Ifi:''' It's been building up, but it really starts when he kills a rat.\\
'''Ifi:''' And then he totally flips out, flies around the mall, and then goes AWOL for a few days, leaving everyone to worry.\\
'''Adam:''' That scene made me hungry\\
'''Ifi:''' Uh okay\\
'''Ifi:''' Want to explain that?\\
'''Adam:''' I am a terrible person\\
'''Adam:''' You should know this by now
* "Wait, what would you call it if Ax were to kill someone with an axe?" -Adam
* Finishing off the review by discussing romance:
-->'''Adam:''' Now, as far as I can tell, you are a girl. Can I get your stance on this?\\
'''Ifi:''' They can't even hug!\\
'''Adam:''' They do, but it is just awkward for everyone involved\\
'''Adam:''' Just like in real life!\\
'''Ifi:''' I mean, it makes sense that there are relationships within the group because they are like bonded by trauma and whatnot.\\
'''Ifi:''' But Tobias and Rachel have no clue what to do about any of it so we just get these awkward scenes with them sitting there staring at each other.\\
'''Adam:''' I repeat my statement from earlier\\
'''Ifi:''' *stare*\\
'''Ifi:''' *stare*\\
'''Ifi:''' "Sooo."\\
'''Ifi:''' "Yep."\\
'''Ifi:''' "..."\\
'''Ifi:''' "..."\\
'''Ifi:''' *flies away*\\
'''Adam:''' Romance, folks!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Book 4: The Message]]
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/09/book-4-message.html Book 4: The Message]]]]
* On Cassie's Dad's indifference:
-->'''Ifi:''' Cassie almost gets caught by her dad, but he is totally indifferent to the fact she is standing in the barn at like 3 AM\\
'''Adam:''' And that she is a furry\\
'''Ifi:''' "Do you have a tail?"\\
'''Ifi:''' "Uh. No?"\\
'''Ifi:''' "Okay. Go to bed."\\
'''Ifi:''' -leaves-\\
'''Adam:''' *mutters* "Damn, I need to lay off the expresso…"
* On the strange dreams that Tobias and Cassie are having:
-->'''Ifi:''' None of the other Animorphs really know how to react to the dream thing, though Marco makes a really odd Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood reference.
--->"I've had weird dreams about falling from way up high and when I finally land I'm in Mister Rogers' Neighborhood talking to King Friday."\\
\\
----Book Four, The Message
-->'''Ifi:''' Uh ok Marco\\
'''Adam:''' So now we know what Marco does in his spare time\\
'''Adam:''' He watches PBS shows\\
'''Adam:''' Suddenly I find him easier to identify with
* Adam and Ifi discussing plot convenience.
-->'''Ifi:''' This series is convenient as all hell\\
'''Adam:''' Well, they do mention that there are days where nothing happens,\\
'''Adam:''' Would you like a chapter where Jake has difficulty writing an essay on 18th century economics?\\
'''Ifi:''' Don't be ridiculous\\
'''Ifi:''' He's in middle school\\
'''Adam:''' An essay on the civil war then\\
'''Ifi:''' Exactly
* When Cassie and Tobias look suspicious while loitering:
-->'''Adam:''' So, to no one’s surprise, someone sees them, and they start getting shot at\\
'''Ifi:''' With a SHOTGUN\\
'''Ifi:''' Who the hell brought a SHOTGUN to the secret alien meeting?\\
'''Adam:''' Less suspicious\\
'''Adam:''' Or possibly more suspicious\\
'''Adam:''' I can't quite tell\\
'''Ifi:''' "We...we have lasers."\\
'''Ifi:''' [[ShotgunsAreJustBetter "NO WAY MAN THIS SHOTGUN IS THE BEST."]]\\
'''Ifi:''' "I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOTGUN."\\
'''Ifi:''' [[ICallItVera "I CALL HER VERA."]]\\
'''Ifi:''' "ALIENS RUN IN TERROR BEFORE DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUNS, MAN."\\
'''Adam:''' Great way to be taken seriously\\
'''Adam:''' Well hey, aliens or not, a shotgun is effective for blowing big messy holes in people\\
'''Adam:''' [[ThatCameOutWrong …wow that did not come out the way I intended]]\\
'''Ifi:''' No, tell us more about blowing holes in people.\\
'''Adam:''' MOVING ON
* On Jake's sudden interest in Cassie:
-->'''Ifi:''' Jake and Cassie make googly eyes at each other while shoveling manure\\
'''Adam:''' He apparently has a picture of her on his dresser\\
'''Adam:''' Aren't these kid's 13?\\
'''Ifi:''' Actually yeah, that is odd.\\
'''Ifi:''' If he has a picture of her, it should be hidden because he'd be embarrassed\\
'''Ifi:''' Not in a frame in plain sight\\
'''Adam:''' And it isn't like Cassie is someone he would logistically be spending a lot of time with before the whole alien invasion thing\\
'''Adam:''' She's his cousin's best friend\\
'''Ifi:''' Jake you're a creeper!\\
'''Adam:''' His cousin who he was previously not very close with\\
'''Adam:''' And she's apparently had him over for dinner\\
'''Adam:''' With what I just said, makes absolutely no sense\\
'''Ifi:''' Creepers gonna creep\\
'''Adam:''' I must make an image macro of this\\
'''Ifi:''' Yeah you do that
** Once again, this is followed by "[image removed for being unfunny]".
* Cassie is not angsty enough.
-->'''Ifi:''' Cassie doesn't angst very well.\\
'''Ifi:''' She's going to have to work on that if she wants to be a proper Animorph\\
'''Adam:''' She can take lessons from Tobias
* The weirdness of Tobias trying to use a watch:
-->'''Ifi:''' Tobias gets a watch!\\
'''Adam:''' I have mixed feelings about the watch\\
'''Ifi:''' --Pros--\\
'''Ifi:''' 1. It's a good idea\\
'''Ifi:''' 2. It's pretty funny\\
'''Ifi:''' 3. It's symbolic\\
'''Ifi:''' --Cons--\\
'''Ifi:''' 1. WTF\\
'''Ifi:''' 2. How does that even work\\
'''Adam:''' I mean, he has good vision, but that doesn't seem like it would be in his line of sight\\
'''Ifi:''' And how could they get it tight enough to fit on his leg?\\
'''Adam:''' Duct tape\\
'''Ifi:''' Did you just decide that.\\
'''Adam:''' The universe decided that.\\
'''Ifi:''' So, yes, then.
* The debut of [[http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-szAssvMGOGo/TmwNmJxqztI/AAAAAAAAAdU/OqPOXw72qb4/s1600/jesus_whale_.jpg "Jesus Whale"]].
* The brilliant plan of Jesus Whale:
-->'''Ifi:''' Cassie believes she can find the Andalite from the information the whale gave her when they, like, mind-melded\\
'''Adam:''' So instead of locking her up in a nice padded cell where she belongs, they decide to follow the whale's advice\\
'''Ifi:''' The plan that they come up with is...\\
'''Ifi:''' Well\\
'''Ifi:''' It's so\\
'''Ifi:''' I just\\
'''Ifi:''' I don't\\
'''Ifi:''' I'm going to just copy and paste it
--->"We morph into seagulls," I said, picking up the plan we'd worked out. "Then we fly out into the shipping channel. We land on a tanker or a container ship or something that's going the right direction. We morph back to human, rest up, let the ship get us closer, then jump over the side, morph to dolphin and go the rest of the way."\\
\\
----Book Four, The Message
-->'''Adam:''' ...\\
'''Adam:''' [[SarcasmFailure Yeah, I got nothing]]\\
'''Ifi:''' Anyway, the plan actually works because apparently the ship has no crew.\\
'''Adam:''' Or else it is piloted entirely by deaf mutes who can't feel vibrations either\\
'''Ifi:''' WHERE IS EVERYONE\\
'''Adam:''' They went to go commune with the whales
* Ifi gushing about Ax:
-->'''Ifi:''' Oh Ax, I want to take you home and cuddle you\\
'''Adam:''' So we now know what Ifi's ideal man is like\\
'''Adam:''' Six limbed, blue and with a weaponized butt\\
'''Ifi:''' Yes that’s right\\
'''Adam:''' =X
* In reference to Taxxons:
--->I expected it to be like the shark - hard, tough, unyielding. It was not. It was like hitting a soggy paper bag with a sledgehammer. The Taxxon burst like a dropped watermelon.\\
\\
----Book Four, The Message
-->'''Ifi:''' That is incredibly poor design.\\
'''Adam:''' How on earth have they survived this long?\\
'''Ifi:''' I'm surprised they weren't all wiped out by a freak breeze.\\
'''Adam:''' Indeed\\
'''Ifi:''' By the way you guys are all murderers so congrats.\\
'''Adam:''' I’m pretty sure they were by the first book\\
'''Ifi:''' Yeah but this was the worst so far. And they are totally unbothered by it because Taxxons are ugly anyway.\\
'''Adam:''' Cassie does seem upset by it\\
'''Ifi:''' For exactly one line.\\
'''Adam:''' It's…better then nothing?
* Visser Three's weekends:
-->'''Ifi:''' No way man he spends his weekends looking for awesome morphs\\
'''Adam:''' This is what he does instead of playing golf\\
'''Ifi:''' Golf is boring as all hell anyway.\\
'''Ifi:''' And the Taxxons eat the flags\\
'''Adam:''' It was the flags faults for looking so tasty\\
'''Ifi:''' Oh sure blame the victims
* On the book's romance:
-->'''Ifi:''' Cassie and Jake do the exact same romantic confession thing that Rachel and Tobias did in the LAST book when they thought they were gonna die.
---><Jake?> I said. <I wanted to tell you...>\\
<Yes. Me, too, Cassie,> he said.\\
\\
----Book Four, The Message\\
\\
<Rachel...I never told you...>\\
<You didn't have to, Tobias,> she said. <I knew. Good-bye.>\\
\\
----Book Three, The Encounter
-->'''Adam:''' And then in the next book we have that with Marco and Ax
* Talking about how Ax combines the DNA of the 4 human Animorphs to make a unique human morph:
-->'''Ifi:''' Actually, I wanted to talk about the DNA blending thing he did.\\
'''Adam:''' Go ahead\\
'''Ifi:''' He took DNA from four different people and made a composite of them. This skill could come in useful in many situations, but it's never used again, as far as I know.\\
'''Adam:''' I mean, it would make enough sense that he couldn't use this for different species, but I’m sure there's still some practical use for it\\
'''Ifi:''' I bet you could totally make a liger.\\
'''Adam:''' …this is probably true\\
'''Ifi:''' Isn’t that what you learn in Andalite school?\\
'''Adam:''' He wasn't paying attention\\
'''Ifi:''' It’s okay I forgive him\\
'''Ifi:''' JUST AS JESUS WHALE FORGAVE US ALL\\
'''Adam:''' *cue Latin chanting*
* The way the review ends: with [[http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fwTTSwky_Gw/TmTiwmzztAI/AAAAAAAAAdM/Ac9hoRbJQfQ/s1600/lisafrank.jpg a Lisa Frank journal cover]].
[[/folder]]
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Added DiffLines:
Do you recall Cinnamon Bunzuh? A blog about a series of books about five (later six) teenagers who are granted the ability to transform into any animal so that they can defend the earth from a body-stealing alien menace? Well, the funny page does. That's why we're going to quote the hilarity. All 64 books, from start to finish. Here we go.
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/08/book-1-invasion.html Book 1: The Invasion]]]]
* "To fight the Yeerks, Elfangor gives the kids the power to turn into any animal that they touch, because apparently a bird, a bear, an elephant, a tiger, and a gorilla can take down an entire alien army equipped with flying saucers and lasers and whatever ridiculous thing Visser Three is building this week."
* "Oh and Tobias gets trapped as a red-tailed hawk. [[{{Wangst}} He will spend the next ten or so books complaining about this even though he totally did it on purpose.]]"
* Adam and Ifi discussing the cover:
--> '''Ifi:''' I think the full-body transformations were more awkward than just the heads\\
'''Adam:''' Well, that can be true, but I find it a bit strange how it is Jake's head and torso, and then for the rest of the transformation it just shows his head\\
'''Adam:''' It’s also a lot more cgi-ey then the other covers\\
'''Ifi:''' He morphs into just a head.\\
'''Adam:''' Ah.\\
'''Adam:''' I see.\\
'''Adam:''' Now it all makes sense.\\
'''Adam:''' They could morph into individual body parts?\\
'''Adam:''' Suddenly that makes the scene in a later book where Rachel beats away a controller with her own severed arm even more awesome.
** Followed by [[http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TjHCtz4aWbw/TluybAjHc6I/AAAAAAAAAcc/QEZHjK9xP2w/s1600/Invasion-newcover.jpg a picture of the cover from the rewrite series]] with the caption "Whatever, it's still better than whatever the hell this is meant to be."
* Discussing everyone getting only a few morphs:
--> '''Adam:''' I still think it was remarkably stupid of [Tobias] not to get a battle morph.\\
'''Adam:''' I mean, they were right there.\\
'''Ifi:''' Nobody got enough morphs.\\
'''Adam:''' Indeed.\\
'''Adam:''' They should have all gotten morphs of each thing.\\
'''Ifi:''' They were like, "Okay I got like one animal, we're good."\\
'''Ifi:''' NO.\\
'''Ifi:''' You do not go home until you acquire every living thing in the Gardens.\\
'''Adam:''' Or even, "Okay, Marco took the gorilla. Well, I guess he has dibs on that one."\\
'''Ifi:''' And they were like, "Hey, look dolphins. Naw. When could those ever come in handy? It's not like we live in coastal California."
* This:
--> '''Ifi:''' Animorphs is about the action, first and foremost. I'm sure if it was YA it would be romance with a background of, "Like, aliens or something, but none of that is important compared to our LOVE."\\
'''Adam:''' [[Literature/TheHost http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/TheHost]]\\
'''Ifi:''' I hate the whole world.
* The last lines:
--> '''Ifi:''' Plus, we had different books aimed at us. I’d never encountered anything like this before. My section of Borders was all about ponies and the magic of friendship.\\
'''Adam:''' I'm very sorry.\\
'''Ifi:''' You ought to be.
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/08/book-2-visitor.html Book 2: The Visitor]]]]
* Priorities:
--> '''Ifi:''' Gimmie a break. I'm reading pdf's. Not all of us have spent over $400 in Animorphs merch.\\
'''Adam:''' Clearly you need to prioritize better\\
'''Ifi:''' Clearly
* The entirety of the redneck paragraph:
--> '''Ifi:''' We have the group flying around in bird morphs for the hell of it, when some rednecks start shooting at them. This came out of nowhere and seemed like it was basically thrown in there to preach about the evils of hunting.\\
'''Ifi:''' I mean, if you shoot at a bald eagle, you're a jackass. But this was just silly.\\
'''Adam:''' Those poor rednecks!\\
'''Adam:''' I felt sort of bad for them\\
'''Ifi:''' I didn't even know there were rednecks in California.\\
'''Adam:''' There are rednecks everywhere\\
'''Adam:''' EVERYWHERE\\
'''Adam:''' Anyone could be a redneck\\
'''Adam:''' Even you\\
'''Adam:''' Fortunately, five kids have been granted the ability to turn into animals so that they can stop them\\
'''Ifi:''' All rednecks, everywhere?\\
'''Adam:''' Yes\\
'''Ifi:''' But seriously. I know it's just a throwaway scene, but there is no part of it that isn't completely ridiculous. They're in the back of a freaking pickup truck! Drinking beers! Shooting at endangered birds! Speaking in southern accents!\\
'''Adam:''' One has a pony tail\\
'''Ifi:''' Why is this in a book about aliens.\\
'''Adam:''' Guys drinking bear in a pickup truck and shooting endangered birds is pretty alien to me\\
'''Ifi:''' That's because you live on Long Island.\\
'''Adam:''' Shhh\\
'''Adam:''' I do like that this book starts out all [[InMediasRes in medias res]] and the like\\
'''Ifi:''' And Rachel throws the gun into the ocean because guns are evil. This is incredibly ironic because she will go on to slaughter countless sentient aliens with her paws.\\
'''Adam:''' Well, she has the right to [[{{Pun}} bear arms]]\\
'''Ifi:''' [[LamePunReaction That was terrible.]]\\
'''Ifi:''' That was really terrible.\\
'''Adam:''' =D
* After the scene where Rachel "gets accosted by some college guy":
--> '''Adam:''' Erm...\\
'''Ifi:''' Yeah. That whole scene was just...what.\\
'''Ifi:''' I guess it was just an excuse for her to morph into a bear and scare the shit out of him, but it came off as awkward and forced and just WRONG.\\
'''Ifi:''' Elephant, rather.\\
'''Adam:''' She doesn't have bear yet\\
'''Ifi:''' [[FanWank wank wank wank]]\\
'''Adam:''' What I am wondering is just what sort of neighborhood this is\\
'''Ifi:''' No aspect of this scene makes sense.\\
'''Adam:''' It's enough that they have an alien invasion, but they also have hillbilly captain planet villains and errant rapists everywhere\\
'''Adam:''' The housing prices must be very cheap\\
'''Ifi:''' I'm gonna say fuck it, let the aliens HAVE earth.\\
'''Ifi:''' It clearly sucks.\\
'''Adam:''' It'll probably set them back more than anything
* The duo talks about how the color of the cat on the cover doesn't match the one described in the book, which segues into a snark at the new cover.
--> [[http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FKto1Nv00bE/Tlu0wk4YqRI/AAAAAAAAAco/l2GCy9b2EIM/s320/visitor-newcover.jpg The new cover got it right, at the expense of striking you blind.]]
* The most action packed part of the book:
--> '''Adam:''' It is a bit funny that the most prominent action sequence in this book is a bunch of kids and a talking bird trying to catch a cat\\
'''Adam:''' It sounds like a plot out of [[Series/SesameStreet sesame street]]
* The start of Visser Three's AlternativeCharacterInterpretation as a [[CrazyCatLady guy obsessed with cats]]:
--> '''Adam:''' But yes\\
'''Adam:''' Visser Three is totally a cat person\\
'''Adam:''' I can completely picture him in a small apartment with nine or so cats\\
'''Ifi:''' It was pretty funny.\\
'''Adam:''' Giving some catnip to Mister Fuzzywinkles, or whatever the heck Applegate likes to call her cats\\
'''Adam:''' <Who's a little fuzzy head?! You is! Yes you is!>\\
'''Ifi:''' Oh dear.\\
'''Adam:''' Excuse me, I'm going to go make a Visser Three lolcat\\
'''Ifi:''' x_X
** Followed by "[image removed for being unfunny]"
* As well as talking about how [[LargeHam hammy]] Visser Three is:
--> '''Adam:''' It seems that Visser Three is completely unable to end his sentences with a period\\
'''Ifi:''' He's hamming it up.\\
'''Adam:''' He is such Saturday morning cartoon villain\\
'''Adam:''' <THIS CAT DISPLEASES ME! KILL IT NOW!>\\
'''Adam:''' <MY GRILLED CHEESE LACKS GOUDA! I WILL END YOU>\\
'''Adam:''' <MY PILLOW HAS NOT BEEN FLUFFED! NOW MEET YOUR END!>\\
'''Ifi:''' Are you done?\\
'''Adam:''' Never
* On everybody [[FailedASpotCheck failing to notice Visser Three landing a ship with no cloaking in broad daylight]]:
--> '''Ifi:''' So Rachel gets taken to Visser Three, who lands his ships right in the middle of the construction site with no cloaking whatsoever.\\
'''Adam:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Subtlety, thy name is Visser Three]]\\
'''Ifi:''' No, seriously. Rachel just looks up and sees them.\\
'''Ifi:''' Apparently the rest of the city is blind and deaf and on vacation.
* On highly explosive spaceships:
--> '''Ifi:''' Oh right. They explode a Bug fighter by driving into it.\\
'''Adam:''' You'd think those things would be a bit more stable\\
'''Adam:''' I mean, flying out of the atmosphere puts a lot of strain on a vehicle
--->The earthmover had ground forward and slammed into one of the Bug fighters. The Bug fighter had exploded.\\
\\
----Book Two, The Visitor
--> '''Ifi:''' That is incredibly poor design.\\
'''Adam:''' Seriously\\
'''Adam:''' It’s like some sort of spaceship version of EveryCarIsAPinto
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/08/book-1-invasion.html Book 1: The Invasion]]]]
* "To fight the Yeerks, Elfangor gives the kids the power to turn into any animal that they touch, because apparently a bird, a bear, an elephant, a tiger, and a gorilla can take down an entire alien army equipped with flying saucers and lasers and whatever ridiculous thing Visser Three is building this week."
* "Oh and Tobias gets trapped as a red-tailed hawk. [[{{Wangst}} He will spend the next ten or so books complaining about this even though he totally did it on purpose.]]"
* Adam and Ifi discussing the cover:
--> '''Ifi:''' I think the full-body transformations were more awkward than just the heads\\
'''Adam:''' Well, that can be true, but I find it a bit strange how it is Jake's head and torso, and then for the rest of the transformation it just shows his head\\
'''Adam:''' It’s also a lot more cgi-ey then the other covers\\
'''Ifi:''' He morphs into just a head.\\
'''Adam:''' Ah.\\
'''Adam:''' I see.\\
'''Adam:''' Now it all makes sense.\\
'''Adam:''' They could morph into individual body parts?\\
'''Adam:''' Suddenly that makes the scene in a later book where Rachel beats away a controller with her own severed arm even more awesome.
** Followed by [[http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TjHCtz4aWbw/TluybAjHc6I/AAAAAAAAAcc/QEZHjK9xP2w/s1600/Invasion-newcover.jpg a picture of the cover from the rewrite series]] with the caption "Whatever, it's still better than whatever the hell this is meant to be."
* Discussing everyone getting only a few morphs:
--> '''Adam:''' I still think it was remarkably stupid of [Tobias] not to get a battle morph.\\
'''Adam:''' I mean, they were right there.\\
'''Ifi:''' Nobody got enough morphs.\\
'''Adam:''' Indeed.\\
'''Adam:''' They should have all gotten morphs of each thing.\\
'''Ifi:''' They were like, "Okay I got like one animal, we're good."\\
'''Ifi:''' NO.\\
'''Ifi:''' You do not go home until you acquire every living thing in the Gardens.\\
'''Adam:''' Or even, "Okay, Marco took the gorilla. Well, I guess he has dibs on that one."\\
'''Ifi:''' And they were like, "Hey, look dolphins. Naw. When could those ever come in handy? It's not like we live in coastal California."
* This:
--> '''Ifi:''' Animorphs is about the action, first and foremost. I'm sure if it was YA it would be romance with a background of, "Like, aliens or something, but none of that is important compared to our LOVE."\\
'''Adam:''' [[Literature/TheHost http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/TheHost]]\\
'''Ifi:''' I hate the whole world.
* The last lines:
--> '''Ifi:''' Plus, we had different books aimed at us. I’d never encountered anything like this before. My section of Borders was all about ponies and the magic of friendship.\\
'''Adam:''' I'm very sorry.\\
'''Ifi:''' You ought to be.
[[AC:[[http://cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com/2011/08/book-2-visitor.html Book 2: The Visitor]]]]
* Priorities:
--> '''Ifi:''' Gimmie a break. I'm reading pdf's. Not all of us have spent over $400 in Animorphs merch.\\
'''Adam:''' Clearly you need to prioritize better\\
'''Ifi:''' Clearly
* The entirety of the redneck paragraph:
--> '''Ifi:''' We have the group flying around in bird morphs for the hell of it, when some rednecks start shooting at them. This came out of nowhere and seemed like it was basically thrown in there to preach about the evils of hunting.\\
'''Ifi:''' I mean, if you shoot at a bald eagle, you're a jackass. But this was just silly.\\
'''Adam:''' Those poor rednecks!\\
'''Adam:''' I felt sort of bad for them\\
'''Ifi:''' I didn't even know there were rednecks in California.\\
'''Adam:''' There are rednecks everywhere\\
'''Adam:''' EVERYWHERE\\
'''Adam:''' Anyone could be a redneck\\
'''Adam:''' Even you\\
'''Adam:''' Fortunately, five kids have been granted the ability to turn into animals so that they can stop them\\
'''Ifi:''' All rednecks, everywhere?\\
'''Adam:''' Yes\\
'''Ifi:''' But seriously. I know it's just a throwaway scene, but there is no part of it that isn't completely ridiculous. They're in the back of a freaking pickup truck! Drinking beers! Shooting at endangered birds! Speaking in southern accents!\\
'''Adam:''' One has a pony tail\\
'''Ifi:''' Why is this in a book about aliens.\\
'''Adam:''' Guys drinking bear in a pickup truck and shooting endangered birds is pretty alien to me\\
'''Ifi:''' That's because you live on Long Island.\\
'''Adam:''' Shhh\\
'''Adam:''' I do like that this book starts out all [[InMediasRes in medias res]] and the like\\
'''Ifi:''' And Rachel throws the gun into the ocean because guns are evil. This is incredibly ironic because she will go on to slaughter countless sentient aliens with her paws.\\
'''Adam:''' Well, she has the right to [[{{Pun}} bear arms]]\\
'''Ifi:''' [[LamePunReaction That was terrible.]]\\
'''Ifi:''' That was really terrible.\\
'''Adam:''' =D
* After the scene where Rachel "gets accosted by some college guy":
--> '''Adam:''' Erm...\\
'''Ifi:''' Yeah. That whole scene was just...what.\\
'''Ifi:''' I guess it was just an excuse for her to morph into a bear and scare the shit out of him, but it came off as awkward and forced and just WRONG.\\
'''Ifi:''' Elephant, rather.\\
'''Adam:''' She doesn't have bear yet\\
'''Ifi:''' [[FanWank wank wank wank]]\\
'''Adam:''' What I am wondering is just what sort of neighborhood this is\\
'''Ifi:''' No aspect of this scene makes sense.\\
'''Adam:''' It's enough that they have an alien invasion, but they also have hillbilly captain planet villains and errant rapists everywhere\\
'''Adam:''' The housing prices must be very cheap\\
'''Ifi:''' I'm gonna say fuck it, let the aliens HAVE earth.\\
'''Ifi:''' It clearly sucks.\\
'''Adam:''' It'll probably set them back more than anything
* The duo talks about how the color of the cat on the cover doesn't match the one described in the book, which segues into a snark at the new cover.
--> [[http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FKto1Nv00bE/Tlu0wk4YqRI/AAAAAAAAAco/l2GCy9b2EIM/s320/visitor-newcover.jpg The new cover got it right, at the expense of striking you blind.]]
* The most action packed part of the book:
--> '''Adam:''' It is a bit funny that the most prominent action sequence in this book is a bunch of kids and a talking bird trying to catch a cat\\
'''Adam:''' It sounds like a plot out of [[Series/SesameStreet sesame street]]
* The start of Visser Three's AlternativeCharacterInterpretation as a [[CrazyCatLady guy obsessed with cats]]:
--> '''Adam:''' But yes\\
'''Adam:''' Visser Three is totally a cat person\\
'''Adam:''' I can completely picture him in a small apartment with nine or so cats\\
'''Ifi:''' It was pretty funny.\\
'''Adam:''' Giving some catnip to Mister Fuzzywinkles, or whatever the heck Applegate likes to call her cats\\
'''Adam:''' <Who's a little fuzzy head?! You is! Yes you is!>\\
'''Ifi:''' Oh dear.\\
'''Adam:''' Excuse me, I'm going to go make a Visser Three lolcat\\
'''Ifi:''' x_X
** Followed by "[image removed for being unfunny]"
* As well as talking about how [[LargeHam hammy]] Visser Three is:
--> '''Adam:''' It seems that Visser Three is completely unable to end his sentences with a period\\
'''Ifi:''' He's hamming it up.\\
'''Adam:''' He is such Saturday morning cartoon villain\\
'''Adam:''' <THIS CAT DISPLEASES ME! KILL IT NOW!>\\
'''Adam:''' <MY GRILLED CHEESE LACKS GOUDA! I WILL END YOU>\\
'''Adam:''' <MY PILLOW HAS NOT BEEN FLUFFED! NOW MEET YOUR END!>\\
'''Ifi:''' Are you done?\\
'''Adam:''' Never
* On everybody [[FailedASpotCheck failing to notice Visser Three landing a ship with no cloaking in broad daylight]]:
--> '''Ifi:''' So Rachel gets taken to Visser Three, who lands his ships right in the middle of the construction site with no cloaking whatsoever.\\
'''Adam:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Subtlety, thy name is Visser Three]]\\
'''Ifi:''' No, seriously. Rachel just looks up and sees them.\\
'''Ifi:''' Apparently the rest of the city is blind and deaf and on vacation.
* On highly explosive spaceships:
--> '''Ifi:''' Oh right. They explode a Bug fighter by driving into it.\\
'''Adam:''' You'd think those things would be a bit more stable\\
'''Adam:''' I mean, flying out of the atmosphere puts a lot of strain on a vehicle
--->The earthmover had ground forward and slammed into one of the Bug fighters. The Bug fighter had exploded.\\
\\
----Book Two, The Visitor
--> '''Ifi:''' That is incredibly poor design.\\
'''Adam:''' Seriously\\
'''Adam:''' It’s like some sort of spaceship version of EveryCarIsAPinto
