History Funny / Chrestomanci

[[folder: The Pinhoe's Egg]]

---> '''Chrestomanci:''' No, I am ''not'' alright! I have world wide blisters. I need a shave. I'm tired out and haven't had anything to eat since breakfast yesterday. Would ''you'' feel all right in my position?

* The obstructive headmistress is ranting at the heroes. Chrestomanci sighs, and puts his hand down on her desk; she vanishes.

** Made even funnier by the fact that Millie and Christopher [[YouShouldKnowThisAlready end up]] HappilyMarried [[YouShouldKnowThisAlready with two kids]].

* When Chrestomanci went missing, everyone was deathly worried, most of all Millie. When he reappears, she's the first to [[HappilyMarried fling her arms around him]], followed by the ''entire castle'' who crowd around and ask if he's all right. This CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming is then heartily interrupted by Chrestomanci himself.

[[AC: Charmed Life]]

* The prank Gwendolen pulls in the church.
* Mary's account of what happened when Gwendolen messed with the eggs and bread as they were being brought into the Castle one morning:
---> '''Mary:'''Roberts thought he'd gone mad when he found he was cutting away at an old boot. So Cook cuts another, and next moment she and Nancy are trying to climb on the same chair because of all those white mice. But it was Mr. Frazier's face that made me laugh the most, when he says 'Let me' and finds himself chipping at a stone. Then the--
---> '''Euphemia:''' Don't encourage her. You know what she's like.


[[AC:The Lives Of Christopher Chant]]

** At the morgue: "What do you mean by locking this door? Everybody's dead in here, they're not going to run away!"
** "For half an hour after that, the hospital was in total confusion, while everybody tried to catch a five-foot-tall corpse clothed mostly in a flying sheet, which raced up and down the corridors shrieking that it was missing cricket practice."

[[AC:Witch Week]]

-->'''Chrestomanci:''' *lifts his hand to reveal the headmistress' calendar* Next Tuesday, I believe.

[[AC:Conrad's Fate]]

--->'' “One could get awfully drunk here,” Christopher remarked, surveying a dusty wall of bottles marked Nuits d’été 1848. “I have quite a mind to drown my sorrows, Grant. I saw [[ChildhoodFriendRomance Millie]]. I '''talked''' to her. Do you know how to open champagne?” ''

---> "And Christopher was just as overbearing as I knew he would be. ''You'' know, ‘My dear Millie, set your mind at rest and ''I'' will fix it’ – and this time he was worse. He decided we were going to go and live together on an island in Series Five. And when I said I wasn’t sure I wanted to go and live all alone with Christopher – well, would ''you'' want to, Conrad?"

[[AC:The Pinhoe's Egg]]

---> '''Chrestomanci:''' No, I am ''not'' alright! I have world wide blisters. I need a shave. I'm tired out and haven't had anything to eat since breakfast yesterday. Would ''you'' feel all right in my position?

---> '''Chrestomanci:''' No, I am ''not'' alright! I have world wide blisters. I need a shave. I'm tired out and haven't had anything to eat since breakfast yesterday. Would ''you'' feel all right in my position?

* When Chrestomanci went missing, everyone was deathly worried, most of all Millie. When he reappears, she's the first to [[HappilyMarried fling her arms around him]], followed by the ''entire castle'' who crowd around and ask if he's all right. This CrowningMomentofHeartwarming is then heartily interrupted by Chrestomanci himself.

** Made even funnier by the fact that Millie and Christopher [[YouShouldKnowThisAlready end up]] HappilyMarried [[YouShouldKnowThisAlready with two kids]].

** Made even funnier by the fact that Millie and Christopher [[YouShouldKnowThisAlready end up HappilyMarried with two kids]].

-> "I tell you for once and for all that there is ''no'' wine that goes with bacon and eggs!"
* Christopher considers [[DrowningMySorrows getting drunk]] after [[ItMakesSenseInContext not being able to bring Millie back on his first attempt]]. It helps that he's 15 at the time.

** Made even funnier by the fact that Millie and Christopher end up HappilyMarried with two kids.

* Christopher considers [[DrowningMySorrows getting drunk]] after [[ItMakesSenseInContext not being able to bring Millie back the first time]]. It helps that he's 15 at the time.

** Made even funnier by the fact that they end up HappilyMarried with two kids.

* Christopher's {{Sarcasm brilliant solution}} to Millie being bullied at school. And Millie's reaction.
---> And Christopher was just as overbearing as I knew he would be. ''You'' know, ‘My dear Millie, set your mind at rest and ''I'' will fix it’ – and this time he was worse. He decided we were going to go and live together on an island in Series Five. And when I said I wasn’t sure I wanted to go and live all alone with Christopher – well, would ''you'' want to, Conrad?"
** Made even funnier by the fact that they end up HappilyMarried with 2 kids.

-> "I tell you for once and for all that there is ''no'' wine that goes with bacon and eggs!"

* -> "I tell you for once and for all that there is ''no'' wine that goes with bacon and eggs!"

[[AC:Witch Week]]

* ''This knitting - is really two little caretaker's dogs.''
** Pretty much anything Simon does during the Simon Says spell.

[[AC:Conrad's Fate]]
* Christopher and Conrad trying to talk Mr. Maxim into taking them on a tour of the wine cellars. It doesn't work.
->"I tell you once and for all that there is ''no'' wine that goes with bacon and eggs!"