History Funny / CharlieTheUnicorn

---> '''Pink''': --give you a big ol spicy kiss.\\

[[folder: Episode 1]]

[[folder: Episode 2]]

[[folder: Episode 3]]

[[folder: Episode 4]]

[[folder: The Grand Finale]]

-->'''Norwell''': Full disclosure. I'm not very good and I don't handle criticism well.

--> '''Charlie''': Wait a minute! That's the, uh, Choo-Choo-Shoe. [[SeriesContinuityError That's before I even saw the snowman!]]\\

'''Blue''': (''talking normally'') Oh yeah, my bad.

--> '''Charlie''': Alright, guys, you do know that there's no ''actual'' Candy Mountain, right?
--> '''Blue''': Shun the non-believer!'
--> '''Pink''': Shuuuuuun!
--> '''Blue''': Shhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuu-nah.
--> '''Charlie''': ...Yeah.

--> '''Blue''': Charlie! Chaaaarlie! Chaarlie! Chaa-
--> '''Charlie''': I'm right here, what do you want?!
--> {{Beat}}
--> '''Blue''': ...We're on a bridge, Charlie!

--> '''Blue''': Close your eyes, Charlie.
--> '''Charlie''': Why? Is something gonna happen?
--> '''Blue''': Yes, something wonderful! Close your eyes.
--> '''Charlie''': Ugh. Alright fine.
--> '''Blue''': I want you to picture a circle.
--> '''Charlie''': Sure.
--> ''(The screen goes black and a circle appears.)''
--> '''Blue''': Now I want you to imagine that circle in a beautiful meadow.
--> '''Charlie''': [[DeadpanSnarker Why not]].
--> '''Blue''': You're feeling very relaxed in this meadow. With your beautiful blue circle.
--> '''Charlie''': The circle's supposed to be blue?
--> '''Blue''': Uh, what?
--> '''Charlie''': You didn't tell me to picture a blue circle.
--> '''Blue''': It should be blue, Charlie.
--> '''Charlie''': Well, it's not.
--> '''Blue''': What color is the circle?
--> '''Charlie''': It's just white.
--> ''(Something within the circle starts to fade into vision very slowly.)''
--> '''Blue''': Oh, no! Charlie! Charlie, get out of there!
--> '''Charlie''': What?
--> '''Blue''': Get out of there, Charlie!
--> '''Charlie''': Wait, there's something in the circle!
--> '''Blue''': Charlie! Charlie, open your eyes!
--> '''Charlie''': [[OhCrap I-I can't!]] Why can't I open them?!
--> '''Blue''': [[BigNo Nooooo!]] I'm so sorry!
--> '''Charlie''': It's getting closer, what do I do?!
--> '''Blue''': I don't know, this wasn't supposed to happen!
--> '''Charlie''': Oh god, OH GOD!
--> '''Blue''': Charlie! Charlie, I just realized something!
--> '''Charlie''': What?!
-->''(The image comes into full view to reveal Blue mooning Charlie.)''
--> '''Blue''': You're looking at my butt!
-->''(Cut back to Blue and Charlie; Charlie opens his eyes and glares at Blue angrily, while Blue just looks at him with a shit-eating grin.)''

--> '''starfish's cousin''': Oh my god! Why would you even do that?
--> '''blue unicron''': It was probably ''sexual!''

* The Candy Mountain letters [[spoiler: spontaneously exploding]] after their song.

* The utter magnificence of THE DOOR! [[spoiler:Nah]].

[[/folder]]

'''Charlie''': (''absorbs mucus'') Wow. That feels terrible.\\

--> '''Blue''': And if you've ever been witness to a Wackawang attack, you know it's no joke. ''(Inexplicably explodes, then comes right back.)'' It'll be like that everywhere soon, if we don't stop them!

--> '''Blue''': Even Wackawonk?

* The first episode's song. By now, Charlie knows all the songs are just Pink and Blue messing with him, and the two of them ''know'' he knows, so this time they just drop the song on him at random and have it passive aggressively call him a buzzkill, and he just stands there glaring without engaging at all. They make the [[MadeOfExplodium typical ending]] [[BloodyHilarious extra spooky, though.]]
* When Charlie meets Nyx in Part Four, things in his life are so stupidly outrageous that he does not initially believe that Nyx is being genuine about the severity of the situation.

'''Staurtaur''': (''begins slowly floating up into the sky'') Think of me when you chance to gaze upon the heavens at night. I will be staring back upon your beautiful body from the stars.\\

--> '''Charlie''': Augh, what happened? ''(Looks down)'' Aw, [[spoiler: [[OrganTheft they took my freakin' kidney!]]]]

--> '''Charlie''': [[FlatWhat What is the door?]]
--> '''Blue''': [[MundaneMadeAwesome The Door is everything!]]
--> '''Pink''': [[SeriousBusiness All that once was and all that will be!]]
--> '''Blue''': [[HammyHerald The Door controls time and space!]]
--> '''Pink''': [[ComicalOverreacting Love and death!]]
--> '''Blue''': [[SuddenlyShouting THE DOOR CAN SEE INTO YOUR MIND!]]
--> '''Pink''': [[ChewingTheScenery THE DOOR CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL!]]
--> '''Charlie''': [[NotSoStoic Really? Th... The Door can do all that?]]
--> '''Pink''': [[spoiler:[[AntiClimax Heh, no.]]]]

* The Millipede [[RunningGag exploding after its musical number]]:

-->'''Charlie''': It just exploded! ''[[LampshadeHanging LIKE EVERYTHING DOES WHEN IT SINGS TO ME!!!]]''

--> '''Charlie''': I don't understand how you do these things!

--> '''Blue''': Oh my god, that would be amazing! ''The screen flips upside down and Charlie floats towards the moon.''

--> '''Charlie''': It's just white. ''(Something within the circle starts to fade into vision very slowly.)''

--> '''Blue''': Charlie, look! It's a lovely swan. ''(A swan floats down from above, bearing fat, human baby-like thighs and a pair of puckered human lips.)''

--> '''Pink''':He's got another gun!

--> '''Blue''': Charlie, I have the amulet!

* Charlie's reaction to seeing the Banana King:

--> '''Charlie''': {{Beat}} ''Uh huh.''

--> ''zap''

--> ''zap''

--> ''zap''
--> '''Pink''': {{Beat}} He's got another gun!
--> ''zap''

--> '''Charlie''': ''(The swan gives him a kiss on the nose.)'' Sure. ''(An eagle floats in with similar freaky traits.)''

--> '''Blue''': Look at those lucsious beak lips!
--> '''Charlie''': ''(The eagle kisses him twice.)'' Grazie. ''(Next is an emu. With only one eye.)''

--> '''Charlie''': You don't have to kiss me. ''(Emu kisses him.)'' Alright... ''(Next up is...)''

* Instead of an elaborate production in Pink and Blue getting Charlie to go wherever they want him to go, this time the trio just get swept up in a rainbow while Charlie groans. The SmashCut to them already on the road makes it extra funny.

--> '''Swan''': ''URRRREEEeEEEeerrr!''

* The Order of Tutelary Weasels are hilariously neurotic about everything, constantly complaining about Nyx inconveniencing them for happening to make a request at night, [[HypocriticalHumor while forcing them to repeatedly stand out in the rain.]] When they point out that they could just come back later, the Weasels reply that suggesting it just insults them further.

--> '''Blue''': And if you've ever been witness to a Wackawang attack, you know it's no joke. ''(Inexplicably explodes, then comes right back)'' It'll be like that everywhere soon, if we don't stop them!

--> '''Blue''': Charlie, look! It's a lovely swan. ''(A swan floats down from above, bearing fat, human baby-like thighs and a pair of puckered human lips)''

--> '''Charlie''': ''(the swan gives him a kiss on the nose)'' Sure. ''(An eagle floats in with similar freaky traits)''

--> '''Charlie''': ''(The eagle kisses him twice)'' Grazie. ''(Next is an emu. With only one eye)''
--> '''Pink''': ''(gasps)'' An emu! What a rare treat!

--> '''Charlie''': You don't have to kiss me. ''(Emu kisses him)'' Alright... ''(Next up is...)''

* Plus the irony that after a whole series of torment Charlie has finally learned not to buy into anything Blue and Pink say, only to be thrown into a ''real'' adventure that he refuses to believe.

--> '''Charlie''': It's just white. (something within the circle starts to fade into vision very slowly)

--> '''Blue''': (the image comes into full view to reveal Blue mooning Charlie) You're looking at my butt!
-->''(Cut back to Blue and Charlie; Charlie opens his eyes and glares at Blue angrily, while Blue just looks at him with a shit-eating grin)''

* The Order of Tutelary Weasels are hilariously neurotic about everything, constantly complaining about Nyx inconveniencing them for happening to make a request at night, [[HypocriticalHumor while forcing him to repeatedly stand out in the rain.]] When he points out that he could just come back later, they reply that suggesting it just insults them further.

** [[TheStinger There's also the fact that ''ten thousand years later'' the upsetting bat is still in the catacombs.]]