History Funny / Castle

29th Jun '16 4:15:45 PM RevDave
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* The behind-the-scenes bloopers reveal that since Molly Quinn was a minor when the show began, any time Fillon blew a line and cursed in front of her, he'd have to give her a dollar.
23rd Jun '16 10:27:18 AM futuremoviewriter
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** And in the same episode, Beckett is surprised to learn that FBI Special Agent Jordan Durham is a mother. This comes in handy, however, when she has to tell Castle (who acts like a twelve year old) to stop playing with the high-tech gadgets in the back of the specially equipped SUV.
--->'''Durham:''' ''Put. The Taser. '''Down'''.''

to:

** And in the same episode, Beckett is surprised to learn that FBI Special Agent Jordan Durham Shaw is a mother. This comes in handy, however, when she has to tell Castle (who acts like a twelve year old) to stop playing with the high-tech gadgets in the back of the specially equipped SUV.
--->'''Durham:''' --->'''Shaw:''' ''Put. The Taser. '''Down'''.''


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** A brilliant blink and you miss it bit: as Lanie is saying the line, a musical rift on the Sex and the City theme plays in the background.
19th Jun '16 12:59:30 AM DoctorNemesis
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** When they're interrogating the teenage girl who (supposedly) has psychic powers, the girl gets a bit frightened and starts yelling... and the interrogation room table starts rattling violently. Is it psychic powers? Invisible spirits in thrall to the girl's rage? No, it's... the girl's leg jiggling nervously against the table.
3rd May '16 1:23:16 PM MikeW
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* In "Dead Again," Alan comes back from poisioned, electrocuted and even shot in the head yet keeps coming back to the shock of everyone thanks to a freak body metabolism and sheer luck.

to:

* In "Dead Again," low-level safety inspector Alan comes back from is poisioned, electrocuted and even shot in the head yet keeps coming back to the shock of everyone thanks to a freak body metabolism and sheer luck.
3rd May '16 1:22:26 PM MikeW
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* In "Dead Again," Lanie and Alan begin talking back and forth about a key clue to the case, trading explanations until finally reciting in unison the solution to the case.

to:

* In "Dead Again," Alan comes back from poisioned, electrocuted and even shot in the head yet keeps coming back to the shock of everyone thanks to a freak body metabolism and sheer luck.
** Castle is convinced Alan is a super-hero and keeps trying to "test him" by tossing stuff as his head or trying to get Alan to read his mind.
**
Lanie and Alan begin talking back and forth about a key clue to the case, trading explanations until finally reciting in unison the solution to the case.



-->'''Castle''': I certainly hope not.

to:

-->'''Castle''': I certainly hope not. I mean, it was cute but just overly cute.
** Alan discovers his crush, Gwen, is the one behind the drug operation and the attempts on his life.
-->'''Alan''': So, a second date is out of the question?
-->'''Gwen''': Aw, you really thought a guy like you had a shot with me?
-->'''Alan''': Ouch, I thought dying twice was painful.
3rd May '16 1:13:18 PM MikeW
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* In "Dead Again," Lanie and Alan begin talking back and forth about a key clue to the case, trading explanations until finally reciting in unison the solution to the case.
-->'''Beckett''': Oh my God, is that what we sound like?
-->'''Castle''': I certainly hope not.
3rd May '16 11:29:24 AM MikeW
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* Martha prepares for her book by showing Alexis his "new autograph." It looks exactly the same as her old one but Martha insists that it has "Nuance and depth." When Castle enters, he notes how great the new autograph looks and uses those exact words to describe it as Alexis rolls her eyes.
5th Apr '16 7:44:42 PM Andrzej
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-->'''Castle:''' What do any of us know about our neighbors in this city? You think the guy living next door to the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Berkowitz Son of Sam]] knew he was living next door to the Son of Sam?
-->'''Montgomery:''' He's right. Neighbors in Berkowitz's building had no idea he was the Son of Sam killer.
-->'''Castle:''' Thank you. What about the guy in 8-B? Who? You see him every day, only you never notice him. But he noticed Sara. She's young, beautiful, The kind of girl that a guy like him would never have a chance with. We all know girls like that, don't we? Well, at first it's just a game. Figure out her schedule. When does she do her laundry? When is she alone? Until it becomes something more, something that he can't control. Well, he uses the stairs, obviously, to avoid the elevator's cameras. And then he just waits, Concealed in the shadows. When she comes into that laundry room, he pounces. When he looked into her vacant, lifeless eyes, He wanted to tell her he never meant to kill her. All he ever wanted was to be noticed. That's when he felt the heat of that dryer on his skin. So he picks up her limp body in his arms, and gently places it inside. He almost smiled at his good fortune when he found the quarter in his pocket, slipping it into the slot. Buying him the time to do what he does best: disappear. Just saying, better story. Coffee?
-->'''Montgomery:''' Let's see what we can find out about those neighbors. And someone better tell me who the hell lives in 8-B!

to:

-->'''Castle:''' What do any of us know about our neighbors in this city? You think the guy living next door to the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Berkowitz Son of Sam]] knew he was living next door to the Son of Sam?
-->'''Montgomery:'''
Sam?\\
'''Montgomery:'''
He's right. Neighbors in Berkowitz's building had no idea he was the Son of Sam killer.
-->'''Castle:'''
killer.\\
'''Castle:'''
Thank you. What about the guy in 8-B? Who? You see him every day, only you never notice him. But he noticed Sara. She's young, beautiful, The kind of girl that a guy like him would never have a chance with. We all know girls like that, don't we? Well, at first it's just a game. Figure out her schedule. When does she do her laundry? When is she alone? Until it becomes something more, something that he can't control. Well, he uses the stairs, obviously, to avoid the elevator's cameras. And then he just waits, Concealed in the shadows. When she comes into that laundry room, he pounces. When he looked into her vacant, lifeless eyes, He wanted to tell her he never meant to kill her. All he ever wanted was to be noticed. That's when he felt the heat of that dryer on his skin. So he picks up her limp body in his arms, and gently places it inside. He almost smiled at his good fortune when he found the quarter in his pocket, slipping it into the slot. Buying him the time to do what he does best: disappear. Just saying, better story. Coffee?
-->'''Montgomery:'''
Coffee?\\
'''Montgomery:'''
Let's see what we can find out about those neighbors. And someone better tell me who the hell lives in 8-B!



--->'''Castle''': What turned you off, that he was wearing a rug? [{{Beat}}] Too soon?

to:

--->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' What turned you off, that he was wearing a rug? [{{Beat}}] Too soon?



--->'''Castle''': You are LAME! YOU ARE '''SO''' LAME! La-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaaame!

to:

--->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' You are LAME! YOU ARE '''SO''' LAME! La-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaaame!



---->'''Castle''': You are lamey [=McLamster!=]

to:

---->'''Castle''': ---->'''Castle:''' You are lamey [=McLamster!=]



-->'''Beckett''': What kind of name is 'Nikki Heat'?\\
'''Castle''': A cop name.\\
'''Beckett''': It's a ''stripper name''.\\
'''Castle''': Well, I told you she was kinda slutty.\\
'''Beckett''': Change it, Castle.\\
'''Castle''': Hang on a sec. Think of the titles! ''Summer Heat'', ''Heat Wave''... ''In Heat''.\\
'''Beckett''': ... Change the name, Castle.\\
'''Castle''': No.\\
'''Beckett''': ''[Moving forward threateningly]'' Yes.\\
'''Castle''': ''[Casually picking up a nearby cardboard cutout of himself and holding it in front of him like a shield]'' No. Sorry.\\
'''Beckett''': Castle...\\
'''Castle''': I have artistic integrity, Beckett...\\
'''Beckett''': 'Artistic integrity'?! Change the name!

to:

-->'''Beckett''': -->'''Beckett:''' What kind of name is 'Nikki Heat'?\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' A cop name.\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' It's a ''stripper name''.\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' Well, I told you she was kinda slutty.\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' Change it, Castle.\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' Hang on a sec. Think of the titles! ''Summer Heat'', ''Heat Wave''... ''In Heat''.\\
'''Beckett''': ...'''Beckett:''' ... Change the name, Castle.\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' No.\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' ''[Moving forward threateningly]'' Yes.\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' ''[Casually picking up a nearby cardboard cutout of himself and holding it in front of him like a shield]'' No. Sorry.\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' Castle...\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' I have artistic integrity, Beckett...\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' 'Artistic integrity'?! Change the name!



-->'''Beckett:''' You probably saved my life.\\

to:

-->'''Beckett:''' --->'''Beckett:''' You probably saved my life.\\



-->'''Castle''': Run, young rebel, but you'll never defeat the forces of Voltar!\\

to:

-->'''Castle''': -->'''Castle:''' Run, young rebel, but you'll never defeat the forces of Voltar!\\



'''Castle''': I sense fear in you.\\

to:

'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' I sense fear in you.\\



-->'''Castle''': How often do people die in neighborhoods like this?\\
'''Beckett''': Same as all the other neighborhoods, Castle. Just the once.

to:

-->'''Castle''': -->'''Castle:''' How often do people die in neighborhoods like this?\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' Same as all the other neighborhoods, Castle. Just the once.



-->'''Castle''': Does he look like a killer to you?\\
'''Beckett''': ''Everyone'' looks like a killer to me. It's a job requirement.\\
'''Castle'''(narrowing eyes): Do ''I'' look like a killer to you? \\
'''Beckett''': [[DeadpanSnarker Yes.]] You kill my patience.
** Though the [[spoiler: Season 5 episode "Probable Cause" pretty much turns this scene into a FunnyAneurysmMoment]].

to:

-->'''Castle''': -->'''Castle:''' Does he look like a killer to you?\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' ''Everyone'' looks like a killer to me. It's a job requirement.\\
'''Castle'''(narrowing eyes): '''Castle:''' ''[narrowing eyes]'' Do ''I'' look like a killer to you? \\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Yes.]] You kill my patience.
** Though the [[spoiler: Season [[spoiler:Season 5 episode "Probable Cause" pretty much turns this scene into a FunnyAneurysmMoment]].



-->'''Jessup:''' I've always been good with locks. When I was in the joint, I was thinking how can I take this and make it more productive, you know? So, I've been applying for locksmith schools, but, you know, they won't let me in on account that I'm a felon. Can you believe that?\\

to:

-->'''Jessup:''' --->'''Jessup:''' I've always been good with locks. When I was in the joint, I was thinking how can I take this and make it more productive, you know? So, I've been applying for locksmith schools, but, you know, they won't let me in on account that I'm a felon. Can you believe that?\\



-->'''Beckett''': I have no life.\\
'''[[TheCoroner Lanie]]''': No, ''Mr. Bishop'' ''[indicates the Body Of The Week]'' has no life. That's why he's on my table.

to:

-->'''Beckett''': -->'''Beckett:''' I have no life.\\
'''[[TheCoroner Lanie]]''': Lanie]]:''' No, ''Mr. Bishop'' ''[indicates the Body Of The Week]'' has no life. That's why he's on my table.



-->'''Lanie''': Look, I'll do the chocolate, I'll even do the whipped cream bikini, but ''caramel''? I prefer slippery to sticky.\\
'''Castle''': ''(grabs Ryan's arm)'' Does she know we can ''hear'' her?

to:

-->'''Lanie''': -->'''Lanie:''' Look, I'll do the chocolate, I'll even do the whipped cream bikini, but ''caramel''? I prefer slippery to sticky.\\
'''Castle''': ''(grabs '''Castle:''' ''[grabs Ryan's arm)'' arm]'' Does she know we can ''hear'' her?



--> '''Ryan and Esposito:''' WOAHHH!
--> '''Esposito:''' No, no, no, no, no.
--> '''Ryan:''' How do you even get in that position?
--> '''Esposito:''' I don't know, but you should try that with your, uh, girlfriend, honey milk. As a matter of fact, I think I'm gonna buy this for you right now.
--> '''Castle:''' Oh, jeez. How do you even get in that position?
--> '''Ryan:''' Right? It's not even possible.
--> '''Beckett:''' Oh, it's possible.
*** Before that, we get this....
---> '''Esposito:''' What does that thing do?
---> '''Ryan:''' Looks like a potato peeler.
---> '''Esposito:''' Yeah. Oh, that is nasty.
---> '''Ryan:''' Oh!
---> '''Castle:''' And illegal in 12 states.

to:

--> '''Ryan --->'''Ryan and Esposito:''' WOAHHH!
-->
WOAHHH!\\
'''Esposito:''' No, no, no, no, no.
-->
no.\\
'''Ryan:''' How do you even get in that position?
-->
position?\\
'''Esposito:''' I don't know, but you should try that with your, uh, girlfriend, honey milk. As a matter of fact, I think I'm gonna buy this for you right now. \n--> \\
'''Castle:''' Oh, jeez. How do you even get in that position?
-->
position?\\
'''Ryan:''' Right? It's not even possible.
-->
possible.\\
'''Beckett:''' Oh, it's possible.
***
possible.
**
Before that, we get this....
---> '''Esposito:''' --->'''Esposito:''' What does that thing do?
--->
do?\\
'''Ryan:''' Looks like a potato peeler.
--->
peeler.\\
'''Esposito:''' Yeah. Oh, that is nasty. \n---> \\
'''Ryan:''' Oh!
--->
Oh!\\
'''Castle:''' And illegal in 12 states. states.



--->'''Durham''': ''Put. The Taser. '''Down'''.''

to:

--->'''Durham''': --->'''Durham:''' ''Put. The Taser. '''Down'''.''



-->Look, it spells "Kinki!"

to:

-->Look, --->Look, it spells "Kinki!"



-->'''Castle''': [[spoiler: (reacting to shooting the gun out of the bad guy's hand) I was aiming for his head!]]
* The beginning of "Boom," when [[spoiler: Castle found Beckett alive, hiding in her bathtub.]]
-->'''Castle''': [[spoiler:(seeing Beckett) Kate! You're alive! Oh, and you're naked!]]

to:

-->'''Castle''': [[spoiler: (reacting -->'''Castle:''' [[spoiler:''[reacting to shooting the gun out of the bad guy's hand) hand]'' I was aiming for his head!]]
* The beginning of "Boom," when [[spoiler: Castle [[spoiler:Castle found Beckett alive, hiding in her bathtub.]]
-->'''Castle''': [[spoiler:(seeing Beckett) -->'''Castle:''' [[spoiler:''[seeing Beckett]'' Kate! You're alive! Oh, and you're naked!]]



-->'''Castle''': Are you in any pain?\\
[[spoiler: '''Beckett''']]: Well, not nearly as much as you. It's killing you, isn't it.\\
'''Castle''': What?\\
[[spoiler: '''Beckett''']]: Having to wait this long to tell me how you banged down the door.\\
'''Castle''': You want me to start from the beginning?

to:

-->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' Are you in any pain?\\
[[spoiler: '''Beckett''']]: '''Beckett:''' Well, not nearly as much as you. It's killing you, isn't it.\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' What?\\
[[spoiler: '''Beckett''']]: '''Beckett:''' Having to wait this long to tell me how you banged down the door.\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' You want me to start from the beginning?



-->'''Castle''': Maybe by this weekend Iíll find a way to take this tank of liquid nitrogen and build it into a weather machine. Iíll make it ''rain'', your friends will have to ''cancel'' their trip, you wonít have to choose and then, we can '''[[TakeOverTheWorld take over the world]]'''! [[EvilLaugh Mwahahahaha]]!\\
'''Alexis''': Not helpful.\\
'''Castle''': But ''evil!''

to:

-->'''Castle''': -->'''Castle:''' Maybe by this weekend Iíll I'll find a way to take this tank of liquid nitrogen and build it into a weather machine. Iíll I'll make it ''rain'', your friends will have to ''cancel'' their trip, you wonít won't have to choose and then, we can '''[[TakeOverTheWorld take over the world]]'''! [[EvilLaugh Mwahahahaha]]!\\
'''Alexis''': '''Alexis:''' Not helpful.\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' But ''evil!''



-->'''Madison''': No, I get it. You're hot for Castle. You wanna make little Castle babies!\\
'''Beckett''': Maddie! He can hear us!

to:

-->'''Madison''': -->'''Madison:''' No, I get it. You're hot for Castle. You wanna make little Castle babies!\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' Maddie! He can hear us!



-->'''Castle''': ''(demonstrating a shaving cream)'' This stuff will change your life! ''(squirts it onto Esposito's hand)''\\
'''Esposito''': ''(in surprise)'' It's hot!\\
'''Castle''': It's hot!\\
'''Ryan''': It's hot?\\
'''Castle''': It's hot! ''(squirts some onto Ryan's hand)''\\
'''Ryan''': It's hot!

to:

-->'''Castle''': ''(demonstrating -->'''Castle:''' ''[demonstrating a shaving cream)'' cream]'' This stuff will change your life! ''(squirts ''[squirts it onto Esposito's hand)''\\
'''Esposito''': ''(in surprise)''
hand]''\\
'''Esposito:''' ''[in surprise]''
It's hot!\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' It's hot!\\
'''Ryan''': '''Ryan:''' It's hot?\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' It's hot! ''(squirts ''[squirts some onto Ryan's hand)''\\
'''Ryan''':
hand]''\\
'''Ryan:'''
It's hot!



-->"This is like Sex in the City, only with boys..."

to:

-->"This --->"This is like Sex in the City, only with boys..."



-->[[spoiler: '''Castle''': Your alibi for not killing him is... that you were doing his wife?]]\\
'''Man:''' (sheepishly nodding.)

to:

-->[[spoiler: '''Castle''': -->'''Castle:''' Your alibi for not killing him is... that [[spoiler:that you were doing his wife?]]\\
'''Man:''' (sheepishly nodding.)''[sheepishly nodding]''



-->'''Castle:''' It's a game... This whole thing. [[ItMakesSenseinContext The fake IDs, the dossiers, Luvania, the banking minister.]] [[AlternateRealityGame It's all part of a game.]]\\

to:

-->'''Castle:''' --->'''Castle:''' It's a game... This whole thing. [[ItMakesSenseinContext The fake IDs, the dossiers, Luvania, the banking minister.]] [[AlternateRealityGame It's all part of a game.]]\\



'''Becket:''' Very. \\

to:

'''Becket:''' Very. \\



-->'''Ryan''': I can assure you, this would fit.\\
'''Owner''': ''[Smirks knowingly]'' That's what they all say.

to:

-->'''Ryan''': -->'''Ryan:''' I can assure you, this would fit.\\
'''Owner''': ''[Smirks '''Owner:''' ''[smirks knowingly]'' That's what they all say.



-->'''Ryan''': ... What the hell are you doing?\\
'''Esposito''': 'Up to his ears in A-Rods'?! I got an A-Rod for that son-of-a-bitch; three years varsity ball, two years Special Forces triathlon and NYPD police calendar 2007. ''[At Ryan's expression]'' ''What''?!\\
'''Ryan''': ''[Long-suffering, 'I've heard this all before']'' It was a group photo.\\
'''Esposito''': I got letters.\\
'''Ryan''': You got three. Two of 'em from your mom.\\
'''Esposito''': ''One'' of them was from my mom.\\
'''Ryan''': ''['Whatever you say, dude']'' Sure.\\
'''Esposito''': ... ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' my ass. ''[Storms off]''
** One VisualPun happened when Beckett was trying to get a suspect (a stripper) to come with her. Beckett tells him to "cool it," but he doesn't listen. More firefighter strippers surround Beckett. Then Castle comes with a fire extinguisher and [[IncrediblyLamePun cools them down for her]].

to:

-->'''Ryan''': ...--->'''Ryan:''' ... What the hell are you doing?\\
'''Esposito''': '''Esposito:''' 'Up to his ears in A-Rods'?! I got an A-Rod for that son-of-a-bitch; three years varsity ball, two years Special Forces triathlon and NYPD police calendar 2007. ''[At Ryan's expression]'' ''What''?!\\
'''Ryan''': ''[Long-suffering, '''Ryan:''' ''[long-suffering, 'I've heard this all before']'' It was a group photo.\\
'''Esposito''': '''Esposito:''' I got letters.\\
'''Ryan''': '''Ryan:''' You got three. Two of 'em from your mom.\\
'''Esposito''': '''Esposito:''' ''One'' of them was from my mom.\\
'''Ryan''': '''Ryan:''' ''['Whatever you say, dude']'' Sure.\\
'''Esposito''': ...'''Esposito:''' ... ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' my ass. ''[Storms off]''
** One VisualPun happened when Beckett was trying to get a suspect (a stripper) to come with her. Beckett tells him to "cool it," but he doesn't listen. More firefighter strippers surround Beckett. Then Castle comes with a fire extinguisher and [[IncrediblyLamePun cools them down for her]].



* In "Close Encounters of a Murderous Kind", with Esposito's "[[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow Is that what the kids are calling it these days?]]" to Castle and Beckett's insistance that the marks on their necks from knockout injectors are definitely ''not'' hickeys. Then Ryan walks in.
-->'''Ryan''': Hey. Those hickeys?\\
'''Esposito''': Yes.\\
'''Beckett''': No.\\
'''Castle''': I wish.\\
'''Ryan''': ...Okay.

to:

* In "Close Encounters of a Murderous Kind", with Esposito's "[[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow Is that what the kids are calling it these days?]]" to Castle and Beckett's insistance insistence that the marks on their necks from knockout injectors are definitely ''not'' hickeys. Then Ryan walks in.
-->'''Ryan''': -->'''Ryan:''' Hey. Those hickeys?\\
'''Esposito''': '''Esposito:''' Yes.\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' No.\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' I wish.\\
'''Ryan''': ...'''Ryan:''' ...Okay.



'''Rhodes:''' (''walks into the room with [[IJustWantToBeYou Beckett-styled wig and pantsuit]]'') Talk to enough people, something usually shakes out.\\
'''Castle:''' (''[[DramaticDrop pencil falls out of hand]], as Beckett stares at Rhodes'') [[TwinThreesomeFantasy Just like I dreamed it...]]\\
'''Beckett:''' (''[[DeathGlare GLARES at Castle]]'')\\

to:

'''Rhodes:''' (''walks ''[walks into the room with [[IJustWantToBeYou Beckett-styled wig and pantsuit]]'') pantsuit]]]'' Talk to enough people, something usually shakes out.\\
'''Castle:''' (''[[DramaticDrop ''[[[DramaticDrop pencil falls out of hand]], as Beckett stares at Rhodes'') Rhodes]'' [[TwinThreesomeFantasy Just like I dreamed it...]]\\
'''Beckett:''' (''[[DeathGlare ''[[[DeathGlare GLARES at Castle]]'')\\Castle]]]''\\



:::This scene just [[SerialEscalation keeps on giving]], as it is immediately followed by...:
--->'''Random officer:''' (''enters and hands'' '''''Rhodes''''' ''a report'') Here you go, Beckett.\\
'''Rhodes:''' Thanks, Johnson. (''turns to Beckett'') It's "Johnson," isn't it?\\
'''Beckett:''' (''agitatedly snatches the report'') It's '''''Velazquez.''''' And you are '''not me.'''
:::And then capped off with...:
--->'''Beckett:''' (''harsh whispering after Rhodes leaves'') ''You cannot tell me that that is normal.''\\
'''Castle:''' (''softly'') She's just committed to the role. (''leaving the office'') You should be flattered.\\
'''Beckett:''' (''to self'') Yeah. Sure. Until she [[Film/SingleWhiteFemale steals my boyfriend and]] ''[[Film/SingleWhiteFemale kills me in my sleep.]]''

to:

:::This ** This scene just [[SerialEscalation keeps on giving]], as it is immediately followed by...:
by...
--->'''Random officer:''' (''enters ''[enters and hands'' '''''Rhodes''''' ''a report'') report]'' Here you go, Beckett.\\
'''Rhodes:''' Thanks, Johnson. (''turns ''[turns to Beckett'') Beckett]'' It's "Johnson," isn't it?\\
'''Beckett:''' (''agitatedly ''[agitatedly snatches the report'') report]'' It's '''''Velazquez.''''' And you are '''not me.'''
:::And ** And then capped off with...:
with...
--->'''Beckett:''' (''harsh ''[harsh whispering after Rhodes leaves'') leaves]'' ''You cannot tell me that that is normal.''\\
'''Castle:''' (''softly'') ''[softly]'' She's just committed to the role. (''leaving ''[leaving the office'') office]'' You should be flattered.\\
'''Beckett:''' (''to self'') ''[to self]'' Yeah. Sure. Until she [[Film/SingleWhiteFemale steals my boyfriend and]] ''[[Film/SingleWhiteFemale kills me in my sleep.]]''



'''Beckett:''' Sure. (''takes a huge swig of coffee'')\\
'''Rhodes:''' (''{{beat}}'') Is Castle gay?\\
'''Beckett:''' (''huge spittake'')
:::After a thorough deconstruction/lampshading of the Caskett {{UST}}, she asks...:

to:

'''Beckett:''' Sure. (''takes ''[takes a huge swig of coffee'')\\
coffee]''\\
'''Rhodes:''' (''{{beat}}'') ''[{{beat}}]'' Is Castle gay?\\
'''Beckett:''' (''huge spittake'')
:::After
''[HUGE SpitTake]''
** After
a thorough deconstruction/lampshading of the Caskett {{UST}}, she asks...:asks:



'''Beckett:''' (''completely dumbfounded'') And say what?\\

to:

'''Beckett:''' (''completely dumbfounded'') ''[completely dumbfounded]'' And say what?\\



'''Beckett:''' (''mouths a few words, then settles on:'') [[INeedToGoIronMyDog I need to go...]] (''[[INeedToGoIronMyDog points in random direction]]'') '''[[INeedToGoIronMyDog over there.]]''' (''exeunt stage left'')
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW7_8uO1p7Y&feature=related Next scene,]] Beckett observing Rhodes doing an uncanny impression of her at the whiteboard. She is subsequently joined by Castle:

to:

'''Beckett:''' (''mouths ''[mouths a few words, then settles on:'') on:]'' [[INeedToGoIronMyDog I need to go...]] (''[[INeedToGoIronMyDog ''[[[INeedToGoIronMyDog points in random direction]]'') direction]]]'' '''[[INeedToGoIronMyDog over there.]]''' (''exeunt ''[exeunt stage left'')
left]''
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW7_8uO1p7Y&feature=related Next scene,]] Beckett observing Rhodes doing an uncanny impression of her at the whiteboard. She is subsequently joined by Castle:Castle.



'''Beckett:''' If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me? (''{{beat}}'') ''[[VerbalBackspace Her]]'' [[VerbalBackspace me, not]] ''[[VerbalBackspace me]]'' [[VerbalBackspace me]].\\

to:

'''Beckett:''' If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me? (''{{beat}}'') ''[{{beat}}]'' ''[[VerbalBackspace Her]]'' [[VerbalBackspace me, not]] ''[[VerbalBackspace me]]'' [[VerbalBackspace me]].\\



:::And then Ryan.:

to:

:::And ** And then Ryan.:



:::[[RuleOfThree And then Esposito.]]:

to:

:::[[RuleOfThree ** [[RuleOfThree And then Esposito.]]:]]



'''Beckett:''' (''exasperated'') ''We're not hid''... (''gives up'') What did you find?

to:

'''Beckett:''' (''exasperated'') ''[exasperated]'' ''We're not hid''... (''gives up'') ''[gives up]'' What did you find?



--->'''Castle''': ''[After Rhodes has just accurately mimicked one of Beckett's statements in an interrogation]'' Wow, that was a really good Beckett.\\
'''Ryan''': Yeah. Almost creepy-great. Not that you're creepy. Just... great.

to:

--->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' ''[After Rhodes has just accurately mimicked one of Beckett's statements in an interrogation]'' Wow, that was a really good Beckett.\\
'''Ryan''': '''Ryan:''' Yeah. Almost creepy-great. Not that you're creepy. Just... great.



--->'''Beckett''': She thought you lied to her.\\
'''Ryan''': Yeah. And then she found out I was working with you ''[Natalie Rhodes]'', which I hadn't told her...\\
'''Natalie Rhodes''': What's the big deal about that?\\
'''Ryan''':... You're on my list.\\
'''Natalie Rhodes''': What list?\\
'''Ryan''': My list. My 'freebie five'. ''[The others begin to look [[CringeComedy alternately amused and mortified]] as Ryan explains further:]'' The five celebrities you could sleep with if you had the chance to... ''[Realizes he's saying this ''to her face'']'' And, ah, now she thinks that last night we... A-and I should probably stop talking right now I should ''call'' her is what I ''should'' do. ''[Scurries away as quick as he can]''\\
'''Natalie Rhodes''': ''[Beaming]'' 'Freebie five', huh? Wonder what number I am.\\
'''Beckett''': Why does that not surprise me?

to:

--->'''Beckett''': --->'''Beckett:''' She thought you lied to her.\\
'''Ryan''': '''Ryan:''' Yeah. And then she found out I was working with you ''[Natalie Rhodes]'', which I hadn't told her...\\
'''Natalie Rhodes''': Rhodes:''' What's the big deal about that?\\
'''Ryan''':...'''Ryan:'''... You're on my list.\\
'''Natalie Rhodes''': Rhodes:''' What list?\\
'''Ryan''': '''Ryan:''' My list. My 'freebie five'. ''[The others begin to look [[CringeComedy alternately amused and mortified]] as Ryan explains further:]'' The five celebrities you could sleep with if you had the chance to... ''[Realizes he's saying this ''to her face'']'' And, ah, now she thinks that last night we... A-and I should probably stop talking right now I should ''call'' her is what I ''should'' do. ''[Scurries away as quick as he can]''\\
'''Natalie Rhodes''': Rhodes:''' ''[Beaming]'' 'Freebie five', huh? Wonder what number I am.\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' Why does that not surprise me?



'''Beckett''': She took my ''coffee'', Castle!\\
'''Castle''': It's just coffee...\\
'''Beckett''': Then what's next? My soul?!

to:

'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' She took my ''coffee'', Castle!\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' It's just coffee...\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' Then what's next? My soul?!



-->'''Suspect''': What the hell, yo, that was slammin'!\\
'''Castle''': Three armed cops and a writer makes four. You're under arrest - so get on the floor.

to:

-->'''Suspect''': -->'''Suspect:''' What the hell, yo, that was slammin'!\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' Three armed cops and a writer makes four. You're under arrest - so get on the floor.



-->'''Lanie''': ''(to Esposito)'' Not everything, baby.\\
'''Beckett''': ''(whispers)'' Did you just call him baby?\\
'''Lanie''': ''(makes a face)'' Ooh. Did I?\\
'''Castle''': ''(mouths)'' You did.
** ''You haven´t heard of the Serenity?''

to:

-->'''Lanie''': ''(to Esposito)'' -->'''Lanie:''' ''[to Esposito]'' Not everything, baby.\\
'''Beckett''': ''(whispers)'' '''Beckett:''' ''[whispers]'' Did you just call him baby?\\
'''Lanie''': ''(makes '''Lanie:''' ''[makes a face)'' face]'' Ooh. Did I?\\
'''Castle''': ''(mouths)'' '''Castle:''' ''[mouths]'' You did.
** ''You haven´t haven't heard of the Serenity?''



* In "Countdown", Castle's reaction to [[spoiler: saving himself, Beckett, and the entire city by yanking out all the wires to the dirty bomb. It may cause sides to split. Doubles as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome as well.]]

to:

* In "Countdown", Castle's reaction to [[spoiler: saving [[spoiler:saving himself, Beckett, and the entire city by yanking out all the wires to the dirty bomb. It may cause sides to split. Doubles as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome as well.]]



--->'''Castle''': Maybe we should sleep on it.\\
''[Beckett shoots him a knowing, flirty look]''\\
'''Castle''': Separately! ''[Mock-affronted]'' Katherine Beckett, I never!

to:

--->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' Maybe we should sleep on it.\\
''[Beckett shoots '''Beckett:''' ''[shoots him a knowing, flirty look]''\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' Separately! ''[Mock-affronted]'' ''[mock-affronted]'' Katherine Beckett, I never!



--->'''Mother''': Everything in New York reminded me of Sarah. I had to escape the agonising truth that she's dead. Now, if denial... is a ''crime''... I plead ''guilty''.\\
'''Beckett''': [[DeadpanSnarker Good to know.]] How do you plead on murder?
* In "Law & Murder", a witness is being questioned for a description of someone he went for a "[[ScaryBlackMan big, scary black guy]]". He can't seem to come up with a more accurate description. He turns to face Beckett (standing behind him on his way out of the precinct) to reiterate "he's a big, scary black guy" one last time, only to shut up in front of the black police officer also standing behind him. [[spoiler: Only it turned out he stopped talking because he recognized the guy on the TV behind said officer as the very person he was trying to describe.]]

to:

--->'''Mother''': --->'''Mother:''' Everything in New York reminded me of Sarah. I had to escape the agonising truth that she's dead. Now, if denial... is a ''crime''... I plead ''guilty''.\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Good to know.]] How do you plead on murder?
* In "Law & Murder", a witness is being questioned for a description of someone he went for a "[[ScaryBlackMan big, scary black guy]]". He can't seem to come up with a more accurate description. He turns to face Beckett (standing behind him on his way out of the precinct) to reiterate "he's a big, scary black guy" one last time, only to shut up in front of the black police officer also standing behind him. [[spoiler: Only [[spoiler:Only it turned out he stopped talking because he recognized the guy on the TV behind said officer as the very person he was trying to describe.]]



-->'''Michael''': "Do you know what I did after I wrote my first book? I shut up and wrote 23 more."

to:

-->'''Michael''': -->'''Michael:''' "Do you know what I did after I wrote my first book? I shut up and wrote 23 more."



-->'''Beckett:''' By the way, I want my gun back. ''(Hands Gates a folded up paper)''\\

to:

-->'''Beckett:''' By the way, I want my gun back. ''(Hands ''[hands Gates a folded up paper)''\\paper]''\\



-->'''Agitated Suspect:''' Get out of here!!\\
'''Castle:''' (quietly) Okay.\\
'''Beckett:''' (continues yelling and interrogating)

to:

-->'''Agitated --->'''Agitated Suspect:''' Get out of here!!\\
'''Castle:''' (quietly) ''[quietly]'' Okay.\\
'''Beckett:''' (continues ''[continues yelling and interrogating)interrogating]''



-->'''Beckett:''' What the hell were you two thinking going to see Ben Lee when Gates specifically said to stay away?\\
'''Esposito:''' Who's gonna tell her, Beckett? Not me. (to Ryan) Do you plan on telling her what we did?\\

to:

-->'''Beckett:''' --->'''Beckett:''' What the hell were you two thinking going to see Ben Lee when Gates specifically said to stay away?\\
'''Esposito:''' Who's gonna tell her, Beckett? Not me. (to Ryan) ''[to Ryan]'' Do you plan on telling her what we did?\\



-->'''Castle:''' Hang on, I'm about to toss a guy off the Brooklyn bridge.\\

to:

-->'''Castle:''' --->'''Castle:''' Hang on, I'm about to toss a guy off the Brooklyn bridge.\\



** [[spoiler: When Ryan and Esposito let the bad guys go in order to get Castle and Beckett out, Ryan lifts the hatch and sees only the tiger in the basement, which prompts him to let out a panicked, mournful, "It ATE them!"]]

to:

** [[spoiler: When [[spoiler:When Ryan and Esposito let the bad guys go in order to get Castle and Beckett out, Ryan lifts the hatch and sees only the tiger in the basement, which prompts him to let out a panicked, mournful, "It ATE them!"]]



-->'''Alexis:''' ''(innocently)'' [[SarcasmMode We were going to take your Ferrari and hook up with some boys we met on Cragislist.]]

to:

-->'''Alexis:''' ''(innocently)'' ''[innocently]'' [[SarcasmMode We were going to take your Ferrari and hook up with some boys we met on Cragislist.]]



-->'''Castle:''' Boyo.\\

to:

-->'''Castle:''' --->'''Castle:''' Boyo.\\



'''Ryan:''' (''exasperated'') Castle!

to:

'''Ryan:''' (''exasperated'') ''[exasperated]'' Castle!



-->'''Beckett:''' Why don't you ask your girlfriend?\\

to:

-->'''Beckett:''' --->'''Beckett:''' Why don't you ask your girlfriend?\\



* The entirety of Ryan and Esposito's misadventures with Ryan's wedding ring in "A Dance With Death." Especially when [[spoiler: Esposito can't get the ring off.]] It results in the following conversation:
-->'''Ryan:''' How can I tell my wife that I'm not wearing my ring because [[spoiler: I lent it to Esposito... To see if strippers would flirt with me?]]\\

to:

* The entirety of Ryan and Esposito's misadventures with Ryan's wedding ring in "A Dance With Death." Especially when [[spoiler: Esposito [[spoiler:Esposito can't get the ring off.]] It results in the following conversation:
conversation:
-->'''Ryan:''' How can I tell my wife that I'm not wearing my ring because [[spoiler: I [[spoiler:I lent it to Esposito... To see if strippers would flirt with me?]]\\



-->'''Castle:''' ''(to Beckett, about Gates)'' I think she's starting to like me.\\

to:

-->'''Castle:''' ''(to ''[to Beckett, about Gates)'' Gates]'' I think she's starting to like me.\\



-->'''Castle:''' ''(to Alexis)'' These pancakes are usually reserved for breakups and ''DancingWithTheStars'' result shows. What's the occasion?

to:

-->'''Castle:''' ''(to Alexis)'' --->'''Castle:''' ''[to Alexis]'' These pancakes are usually reserved for breakups and ''DancingWithTheStars'' result shows. What's the occasion?



-->'''Castle:''' Ryan, you'll be here, dressed as a flower delivery boy. Esposito, you'll be here, dressed as a hobo.\\
'''Esposito:''' ''(raises his hand)'' Question... Why's a brown man gotta be a hobo?\\

to:

-->'''Castle:''' --->'''Castle:''' Ryan, you'll be here, dressed as a flower delivery boy. Esposito, you'll be here, dressed as a hobo.\\
'''Esposito:''' ''(raises ''[raises his hand)'' hand]'' Question... Why's a brown man gotta be a hobo?\\



** The scene where [[spoiler: Castle fools the final bad guy into confessing to the murder by dressing up as a zombie. His makeup is done so well that it even freaks out Esposito, who skittishly insists that Castle stop acting like that, much to Castle's amusement.]]
** And when [[spoiler: their zombie corpse jumps off the morgue examining table and runs screaming out the door]]. Castle picks up the wall phone and asks what the code for a zombie running through the precinct is.

to:

** The scene where [[spoiler: Castle [[spoiler:Castle fools the final bad guy into confessing to the murder by dressing up as a zombie. His makeup is done so well that it even freaks out Esposito, who skittishly insists that Castle stop acting like that, much to Castle's amusement.]]
** And when [[spoiler: their [[spoiler:their zombie corpse jumps off the morgue examining table and runs screaming out the door]]. Castle picks up the wall phone and asks what the code for a zombie running through the precinct is.



-->'''Beckett:''' "I can't, it's too soon. I keep seeing her boobs in your face."
** When Castle and Beckett go to confront the killer at the news room, the camera pans across all the suspects we've been introduced to over the episode, all of whom are staring at Castle and Beckett tensely... except for an obnoxious sports reporter who's been hitting on Beckett all episode, who's just grinning smarmily at her and holding his fingers to his ears in a typical "Hey, call me babe!" gesture.

to:

-->'''Beckett:''' --->'''Beckett:''' "I can't, it's too soon. I keep seeing her boobs in your face."
** When Castle and Beckett go to confront the killer at the news room, the camera pans across all the suspects we've been introduced to over the episode, all of whom are staring at Castle and Beckett tensely... except for an obnoxious sports reporter who's been hitting on Beckett all episode, who's just grinning smarmily at her and holding his fingers to his ears in a typical "Hey, call me babe!" gesture.



-->'''Castle:''' You know what I love about this case? Finding a pretty pink bracelet in my belongings.\\

to:

-->'''Castle:''' --->'''Castle:''' You know what I love about this case? Finding a pretty pink bracelet in my belongings.\\



-->'''Castle'': ''[Upon being told of the murder at the con]'' Shiny!

to:

-->'''Castle'': --->'''Castle'': ''[Upon being told of the murder at the con]'' Shiny!



*** And then we have ''Gates'' sucking up to the camera; specifically, by trying to act the BenevolentBoss of the station, an facade that her subordinates are visibly biting their tongues about when watching her. This also brings to mind the ending, when Gates is about to give Castle and Beckett an earful over the footage she reviewed for the documentary. Castle and Beckett fear the discovery of their relationship that might have been caught on tape. Nope. [[spoiler: Turns out Gates is furious with Castle's immature behavior during her PR speech about the professionalism and maturity of the 12th precinct]].

to:

*** And then we have ''Gates'' sucking up to the camera; specifically, by trying to act the BenevolentBoss of the station, an facade that her subordinates are visibly biting their tongues about when watching her. This also brings to mind the ending, when Gates is about to give Castle and Beckett an earful over the footage she reviewed for the documentary. Castle and Beckett fear the discovery of their relationship that might have been caught on tape. Nope. [[spoiler: Turns [[spoiler:Turns out Gates is furious with Castle's immature behavior during her PR speech about the professionalism and maturity of the 12th precinct]].



-->'''Esposito:''' ... Welcome.\\

to:

-->'''Esposito:''' ...--->'''Esposito:''' ... Welcome.\\



-->'''Castle:''' Looks like John Campbell was in town ... with a few days to kill. ''[Beat]'' See what I did there? That was good. Use that. ''[Behind him, the detectives roll their eyes and leave]'' Don't use the part where I said "See what I did there" -- cut that out, hard beat to black, musical sting. ''Bah-dah-dah-la-da-la-da'' -- ''[Turns around and realizes that everyone's gone]''.

to:

-->'''Castle:''' --->'''Castle:''' Looks like John Campbell was in town ... with a few days to kill. ''[Beat]'' See what I did there? That was good. Use that. ''[Behind him, the detectives roll their eyes and leave]'' Don't use the part where I said "See what I did there" -- cut that out, hard beat to black, musical sting. ''Bah-dah-dah-la-da-la-da'' -- ''[Turns around and realizes that everyone's gone]''.



-->'''Esposito:''' We've got you now, you son of a bitch! ''(beat, looks at camera)'' Am I even allowed to say son of a-- ''([[CurseCutShort cut to title]])''

to:

-->'''Esposito:''' --->'''Esposito:''' We've got you now, you son of a bitch! ''(beat, ''[{{beat}}, looks at camera)'' camera]'' Am I even allowed to say son of a-- ''([[CurseCutShort ''[[[CurseCutShort cut to title]])''title]]]''



--->'''Castle''': And now Santa is dead! When will it end?!\\
'''Beckett''': I hate to break it to you, Castle, but there is no Santa.\\
'''Castle''': Not anymore.
* The ex-wife suspect in "Significant Others" was her own OneSceneWonder while she traversed around her ex-husband's house breaking every valuable piece in sight. If that wasn't funny enough, halfway through, said ex comes home and starts breaking ''her'' most beloved valuable pieces. Beckett threatens to throw them both in jail if they toss one more item onto the floor. [[spoiler: They do. She takes them to the precinct and the ex-wife gets in one more line, "So worth it!"]]

to:

--->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' And now Santa is dead! When will it end?!\\
'''Beckett''': '''Beckett:''' I hate to break it to you, Castle, but there is no Santa.\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' Not anymore.
* The ex-wife suspect in "Significant Others" was her own OneSceneWonder while she traversed around her ex-husband's house breaking every valuable piece in sight. If that wasn't funny enough, halfway through, said ex comes home and starts breaking ''her'' most beloved valuable pieces. Beckett threatens to throw them both in jail if they toss one more item onto the floor. [[spoiler: They [[spoiler:They do. She takes them to the precinct and the ex-wife gets in one more line, "So worth it!"]]



-->'''Ryan''': Never thought I'd say this after graduating the sixth grade - [[ItMakesSenseInContext our bra research is in]].

to:

-->'''Ryan''': -->'''Ryan:''' Never thought I'd say this after graduating the sixth grade - [[ItMakesSenseInContext our bra research is in]].



*** And when Penelope's husband finally admits that [[spoiler: they were faking his affair with the victim]], both Castle and Gates unanimously scream out ''"What?!"'' as if they'd just watched an amazing plot-twist.

to:

*** And when Penelope's husband finally admits that [[spoiler: they [[spoiler:they were faking his affair with the victim]], both Castle and Gates unanimously scream out ''"What?!"'' as if they'd just watched an amazing plot-twist.



-->'''Castle''': What are you doing? That was a $200 phone!\\
'''Hunt''': That's how they track you, now get in the car.\\
'''Hunt''': Given how you're feeling so broken up about your two-hundred buck phone, you may want to pick up that three million dollar briefcase.

to:

-->'''Castle''': -->'''Castle:''' What are you doing? That was a $200 phone!\\
'''Hunt''': '''Hunt:''' That's how they track you, now get in the car.\\
'''Hunt''': '''Hunt:''' Given how you're feeling so broken up about your two-hundred buck phone, you may want to pick up that three million dollar briefcase.



-->'''Ryan''': Castle!\\
'''Castle''': ''[Hesitantly appearing from behind Beckett]'' Seriously? I didn't -- I didn't bring my vest.

to:

-->'''Ryan''': -->'''Ryan:''' Castle!\\
'''Castle''': '''Castle:''' ''[Hesitantly appearing from behind Beckett]'' Seriously? I didn't -- I didn't bring my vest.



** There was also something humorous about Jenny trolling Ryan by saying that they took all of the fertility tests for nothing. [[spoiler: Because she's ''already pregnant''.]]

to:

** There was also something humorous about Jenny trolling Ryan by saying that they took all of the fertility tests for nothing. [[spoiler: Because [[spoiler:Because she's ''already pregnant''.]]



** The retroactive FridgeBrilliance funny of knowing that [[spoiler: Beckett's increasing exasperation with Castle's antics is, since she knows precisely what's going on, completely and flawlessly staged.]]

to:

** The retroactive FridgeBrilliance funny of knowing that [[spoiler: Beckett's [[spoiler:Beckett's increasing exasperation with Castle's antics is, since she knows precisely what's going on, completely and flawlessly staged.]]



** There's a lot of moments that, once you know the truth about what's happening, become HilariousInHindsight [[spoiler: as it becomes that everyone around Castle is taking great pleasure in keeping the secret from him, with some less able to fully contain it as others.]]

to:

** There's a lot of moments that, once you know the truth about what's happening, become HilariousInHindsight [[spoiler: as [[spoiler:as it becomes that everyone around Castle is taking great pleasure in keeping the secret from him, with some less able to fully contain it as others.]]



-->'''Beckett:''' You're talking about an illegal search.\\

to:

-->'''Beckett:''' --->'''Beckett:''' You're talking about an illegal search.\\



-->'''Castle:''' [[BigNo NOOOOOO!!!!]] *{{Beat}}*...survivors.

to:

-->'''Castle:''' --->'''Castle:''' [[BigNo NOOOOOO!!!!]] *{{Beat}}*...survivors.



* "The Squab and the Quail" has several moments, the first of which is Beckett attempting to get some lovin' from her boyfriend only to be second to a rather intense session of video gaming. Another priceless instance is after [[spoiler: a sniper takes a shot at Vaughn through his hotel window, Ryan asks Beckett for an eyewitness account, meaning he has to get as close as Vaughn had been to her at the time of the shooting. He walks over and nearly bumps into her, prompting Castle to ask what he had been doing so close to her. After Beckett reveals Vaughn kissed her, Ryan beats a hilariously hasty retreat.]]

to:

* "The Squab and the Quail" has several moments, the first of which is Beckett attempting to get some lovin' from her boyfriend only to be second to a rather intense session of video gaming. Another priceless instance is after [[spoiler: a [[spoiler:a sniper takes a shot at Vaughn through his hotel window, Ryan asks Beckett for an eyewitness account, meaning he has to get as close as Vaughn had been to her at the time of the shooting. He walks over and nearly bumps into her, prompting Castle to ask what he had been doing so close to her. After Beckett reveals Vaughn kissed her, Ryan beats a hilariously hasty retreat.]]



** Also after [[spoiler: Emma accidentally shoots Castle]] and he wakes up screaming, "CHEESEBURGERS!" at the top of his lungs.
** The "whoops!" look on Beckett's face after she gives Castle a relieved hug... forgetting that he's just been shot and that his chest is pretty bruised up.

to:

** Also after [[spoiler: Emma [[spoiler:Emma accidentally shoots Castle]] and he wakes up screaming, "CHEESEBURGERS!" at the top of his lungs.
** The "whoops!" look on Beckett's face after she gives Castle a relieved hug... forgetting that he's just been shot and that his chest is pretty bruised up.



** And then the MindScrew the writers throw at the viewers in the end: Doyle vanishes around the corner before Castle can return his time traveling device, and (the biggest one) Beckett [[spoiler: spills coffee on the letter that they used to find out who the killer's next target would be, and the spill is in the exact same pattern as shown in the version of the letter recovered from the killer's hideout! And note, this was never even addressed during the entire episode until that moment]]. Beckett's reaction is priceless (as was likely the viewer's), especially considering that she has to keep it secret because if Castle found out, he'd never let her live it down. Man, the writers really had a lot of fun in this episode!

to:

** And then the MindScrew the writers throw at the viewers in the end: Doyle vanishes around the corner before Castle can return his time traveling device, and (the biggest one) Beckett [[spoiler: spills [[spoiler:spills coffee on the letter that they used to find out who the killer's next target would be, and the spill is in the exact same pattern as shown in the version of the letter recovered from the killer's hideout! And note, this was never even addressed during the entire episode until that moment]]. Beckett's reaction is priceless (as was likely the viewer's), especially considering that she has to keep it secret because if Castle found out, he'd never let her live it down. Man, the writers really had a lot of fun in this episode!



-->'''Esposito:''' What were you expecting, Castle? Time-travel device? Series/DoctorWho's [[ShoutOut sonic screwdriver]]?\\

to:

-->'''Esposito:''' --->'''Esposito:''' What were you expecting, Castle? Time-travel device? Series/DoctorWho's [[ShoutOut sonic screwdriver]]?\\



-->'''Doyle:''' Real charmer, that one. Can't believe you marry her.\\

to:

-->'''Doyle:''' --->'''Doyle:''' Real charmer, that one. Can't believe you marry her.\\



** Which became [[BrickJoke a whole lot funnier in season 7]] [[spoiler: after Beckett was invited to run for the senate!]]

to:

** Which became [[BrickJoke a whole lot funnier in season 7]] [[spoiler: after [[spoiler:after Beckett was invited to run for the senate!]]



--> "Definitely not. You are exactly her type, and the last thing I need is to watch someone from my past trying to seduce my fiancé while talking about the goddess that lives in her hoo-ha."
--> (Castle's expression is priceless.)

to:

--> "Definitely --->'''Beckett:''' Definitely not. You are exactly her type, and the last thing I need is to watch someone from my past trying to seduce my fiancé while talking about the goddess that lives in her hoo-ha."
-->
\\
(Castle's expression is priceless.)



-->'''Castle''': "Richard Castle, One Word Short." I cannot allow that to be my epitaph. ''(Kate and Alexis exchange a fist-bump)'' I saw that.

to:

-->'''Castle''': -->'''Castle:''' "Richard Castle, One Word Short." I cannot allow that to be my epitaph. ''(Kate ''[Kate and Alexis exchange a fist-bump)'' fist-bump]'' I saw that. that.



-->'''Beckett:''' He knew when I got here, and for 15 years, he's been using that as an excuse not to commit.\\

to:

-->'''Beckett:''' --->'''Beckett:''' He knew when I got here, and for 15 years, he's been using that as an excuse not to commit.\\



-->'''Gates''': "''What just happened?''"

to:

-->'''Gates''': --->'''Gates:''' "''What just happened?''"



-->'''Castle''': [[BlatantLies Did the Invisible Man just goose you?]]

to:

-->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' [[BlatantLies Did the Invisible Man just goose you?]]



--->'''Castle''': Those were my favorite pajamas. Now I have to ''burn'' them.

to:

--->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' Those were my favorite pajamas. Now I have to ''burn'' them.



--->'''Castle''': '''''Best case ever!'''''

to:

--->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' '''''Best case ever!''''' ever!'''''



-->'''Castle:''' (Excited Gasp) Ryan! Is it One Direction? You'd tell me, right? Are they in town?
-->'''Esposito''' No, they're in Hong Kong.

to:

-->'''Castle:''' (Excited Gasp) ''[excited gasp]'' Ryan! Is it One Direction? You'd tell me, right? Are they in town?
-->'''Esposito'''
town?\\
'''Esposito'''
No, they're in Hong Kong.



-->'''Alexis''': He just said he was an old friend.
-->'''Castle''': That can't be good.

to:

-->'''Alexis''': --->'''Alexis:''' He just said he was an old friend.
-->'''Castle''':
friend.\\
'''Castle:'''
That can't be good.



-->'''Castle''': You know, you can just remove the sim card. I lose more phones on this job...

to:

-->'''Castle''': --->'''Castle:''' You know, you can just remove the sim card. I lose more phones on this job...



-->'''Slaughter''': If you tell anyone, I'll force-feed you your spleen through your nose.
-->'''Castle''': I'm sorry, I'm trying to be scared but I just keep picturing you doing jazz hands.

to:

-->'''Slaughter''': --->'''Slaughter:''' If you tell anyone, I'll force-feed you your spleen through your nose.
-->'''Castle''':
nose.\\
'''Castle:'''
I'm sorry, I'm trying to be scared but I just keep picturing you doing jazz hands. hands.



--> '''Castle:''' ...Surprise.

to:

--> '''Castle:''' ...--->'''Castle:''' ...Surprise.



-->'''Ryan''': Maybe the way to find out about this last seduction is with a seduction of our own.
-->'''Esposito''': Riiiiight...I have no idea what you mean.

to:

-->'''Ryan''': -->'''Ryan:''' Maybe the way to find out about this last seduction is with a seduction of our own.
-->'''Esposito''':
own.\\
'''Esposito:'''
Riiiiight...I have no idea what you mean.



-->'''Beckett'': So you sent Castle to the city's top divorce attorney when I told you not to involve him in any cases?'
-->'''Esposito''': Happy Anniversary?

to:

-->'''Beckett'': So you sent Castle to the city's top divorce attorney when I told you not to involve him in any cases?'
-->'''Esposito''':
cases?'\\
'''Esposito:'''
Happy Anniversary? Anniversary?



-->'''Castle''': Beckett, I think your crime scene is making a run for it.
* Castle infiltrates an English language class as a French-Canadian student with the most atrocious accent imaginable.
** Meeting a classmate from Newcastle, Castle hears the man speak in a brogue so thick, nothing he says can be understood and Castle just nods with it.
** Even better is how even the closed captioning makes no attempt to translate his words and instead has "Geordie" when he speaks as subtitles.
* Beckett's mother writes a book, then dedicates the book to Castle.
--> For Richard. Without your constant stumbles in life, the advice in this book wouldn't be possible.

to:

-->'''Castle''': -->'''Castle:''' Beckett, I think your crime scene is making a run for it.
* Castle infiltrates an English language class as a French-Canadian student with the most atrocious accent imaginable.
imaginable.
** Meeting a classmate from Newcastle, Castle hears the man speak in a brogue so thick, nothing he says can be understood and Castle just nods with it.
it.
** Even better is how even the closed captioning makes no attempt to translate his words and instead has "Geordie" when he speaks as subtitles.
subtitles.
* Beckett's mother Martha writes a self-help book, then dedicates the book to Castle.
--> For -->For Richard. Without your constant stumbles in life, the advice in this book wouldn't be possible.
5th Apr '16 12:23:56 PM MikeW
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** Meeting one Irish classmate, Castle hears the man speak in a brogue so thick, nothing he says can be understood and Castle just nods with it.
** Even better is how even the closed captioning makes no attempt to translate his words and instead has "Irish Brogue" when he speaks as subtitles.

to:

** Meeting one Irish classmate, a classmate from Newcastle, Castle hears the man speak in a brogue so thick, nothing he says can be understood and Castle just nods with it.
** Even better is how even the closed captioning makes no attempt to translate his words and instead has "Irish Brogue" "Geordie" when he speaks as subtitles.
5th Apr '16 12:19:56 PM MikeW
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Added DiffLines:

* Castle infiltrates an English language class as a French-Canadian student with the most atrocious accent imaginable.
** Meeting one Irish classmate, Castle hears the man speak in a brogue so thick, nothing he says can be understood and Castle just nods with it.
** Even better is how even the closed captioning makes no attempt to translate his words and instead has "Irish Brogue" when he speaks as subtitles.
This list shows the last 10 events of 494. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.Castle