History Funny / CalvinAndHobbes

** The last panel really sells it: Dad isn't amused, but Mom is in hysterics.

--> '''Calvin:''' "Your simian appearence suggests a heritage [[InterspeciesRomance rich in species diversity."]]

* Pretty much anytime either parent finds Hobbes somewhere unusual in the house while Calvin's at school (usually so Hobbes can ambush Calvin).

** "This is SO COOL!" "This is SO STUPID!"

* [[http://www.angelfire.com/wa/zzaran/calvin.html Calvin's snowmen]], especially "Oh yeah?! Define 'well-adjusted!'"

-->'''Calvin's Mom''': WHAT ARE YOU TELLING HIM NOW?!

* One strip, Calvin is pounding nails into the coffee table. Mom runs in screaming "CALVIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE?!?" After a BeatPanel, he looks up and says, "Is this some sort of trick question, or what?"

-->'''Calvin:''' Who was the first guy who looked at a cow and said "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of thee things when I squeeze 'em!"?

* "TEN MILLION BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, TEN MILLION BOTTLES OF BEER..."

-->'''Hobbes:''' It takes one to know one, bozo! Why don't you go play in the food processor!

-->'''Spaceman Spiff:''' Our hero regards the strange alien. ...It seems to be trying to communicate.

* Three panels of a hideous space alien contemptuously addressing a classroom and proceeding to demonstrate his planet's destructive technology, one panel of Calvin pulling a hideous face at the front of the classroom growling gibberish. "Miss Wormwood, shouldn't he be in some kind of special school?"

* Calvin's ransom note to Susie. "Dear Susie, If you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us. Sincerely, Calvin."

-> "Like delicate lace,
-> So the threads intertwine,
-> Oh, gossamer web
-> Of wond'rous design!
-> Such beauty and grace
-> Wild nature produces...
-> [[SophisticatedAsHell Ughh, look at the spider]]
-> [[SophisticatedAsHell Suck out that bug's juices!"]]

** This troper confesses to doing the same thing ''in all seriousness'' at Calvin's age.

* "I hope you suffer a debilitating brain aneurysm, you freak!"

-->'''Bill Watterson:''' It's sometimes frightening where my mind will go if I let it. Who ''was'' that guy?!

* [[http://www.steph-angel.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/smock.gif Hobbes' love of the word "smock."]]

* The strip in which Calvin employs LoopholeAbuse to answer the question "Explain Newton's First Law of Motion in your own words." His answer? "Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz."

* [[IMeantToDoThat "I meant]] [[http://www.amureprints.com/img1/Calvin/1993/ch931229.gif to do that"]].

* "[[{{EverythingsBetterWithDinosaurs}} Tyrannosaurs]] [[{{NinjaPirateZombieRobot}} in]] '''[[{{HSQ}} F-14S]]!!!'''"

* The strip where Calvin asks his dad where babies come from; Dad responds by saying that most people buy a kit at Sears. After Calvin screams "I came from SEARS?!?" the dad adds, "No, you were a blue light special at Kmart" which causes Calvin to scream louder.

-> Oh, gossamar web

--> '''Hobbes:''' (irritated) I wonder when school starts?

* In one strip, Calvin yells to his mom from across the house. She tells him to walk over to where she is. He does... and tells his mom [[spoiler: "I stepped in dog doo. Where's the hose?"]]
** The look of sheer frustration on his mom's face is what did it for me.

* At the beginning of the baseball arc, Calvin realizes he's the only boy on a playground full of girls, and starts freaking out about being in a "Cootie central." Suzie retorts with [[spoiler: "Relax. Stupidity produces antibodies."]]
* Calvin's ransom note to Suzie. [[spoiler: Dear Suzie, If you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us. Sincerely, Calvin.]]

** CrowningMomentOfFunny? Or MostTriumphantExample of a Crowning Moment of Funny?