History Funny / CMPunk

* A small FunnyBackgroundEvent in the 2008 Royal Rumble: when the Rumble 'stops' during the mid-match brawl between legendary rivals Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Punk can be seen BEAMING in the background, watching two of his childhood icons (Piper being named by Punk as one of the reasons he even got into pro-wrestling) duke it out. JohnMorrison notices Punk watching, bends down to watch with Punk... and promptly kicks him in the stomach, essentially re-starting the action for everyone.

* TheMiz tries to force a humiliating LieDetector test on Punk. While Punk rants to Miz just how stupid it is, Miz tries to take the piss out of Punk's reaction. And fails...
-->'''TheMiz''': ''(dismissively)'' Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear a word you were saying. I wasn't paying attention, I apologize.\\
'''CMPunk''': Yeah, you didn't pay attention [[TakeThat during wrestling school either, jerk]]!\\

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyDlcn8mY5c&NR=1 "He's not a chicken, you're a turkey!"]] (It's at around 3:25.) How can a reference to a 90s PSA be so funny?

* "...because unlike you, I don't waste all these people's time [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxDsWRzc734 "bitching, and moaning, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching..."]] Poor, poor Wrestling/{{Christian}}.

---> '''CM Punk: Hey Wrestling/ColtCabana, how ya doing?'''
---> '''[[LampshadeHanging Whoops]], I'm BreakingTheFourthWall!'''

---> '''CM Punk''': Why don't you have [[Wrestling/StephanieMcMahon Stephanie [=McMahon=]]] give me a call? I'm sure she's got my number!"

--->'''CM Punk''': How's fantasy land?
---> '''Triple H''': How's the unemployment line?
---> '''Crowd''': ''Oooohhhhh''..

---> '''CM Punk''': [[InsistentTerminology It's not a belt]], [[BitingTheHandHumor its a championship title!!]] It's not a belt. It's not a strap. It's not a trophy. You can't even lift it up!! It weighs more than you do!

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxDsWRzc734 "And bitching, and bitching, and bitching..."]] Poor, poor Wrestling/{{Christian}}.

--->'''Triple H''': And... [[ItMakesSenseInContext foxhole buddy]]... I got a whole table over there lined up with headphones and pipe bombs just waitin' for ya with your name on it. ({{beat}}) And if you want... You can go over there and say anything you feel like.\\

-->'''Steve Austin''': You want a beer?
-->'''CM Punk''': [[MythologyGag What?]]\\

---> * The commercial ends with a shot of [=CM=] Punk standing in the middle of a rocky desert, wearing his ring gear, holding the [=WWE=] championship belt and a suitcase, looking around at a herd of goats and alpacas *
-->'''CM Punk''': Does anybody know where the arena is?
--->* Goat bleats in response *
--> And if you've watched WWE long enough to know [[Wrestling/BryanDanielson which WWE star is]] [[AnimalMotifs associated with goats]], that makes this (maybe unintentionally... but maybe not) several times ''more'' hilarious.

--> [[PopularityPower "LOOK AT ME!!"]]
--> [[ItMakesSenseInContext "I owe all the success in the world to my facial hair."]]

* His reaction to Wrestling/TripleH making him part of the announcing team on the October 10th, 2011 episode by virtue of [[ClosestThingWeGot being the only one of the four men presently working in the building]] not involved in the match. He honestly looks like a kid in a candy shop.
--->'''HHH''': And... [[ItMakesSenseInContext foxhole buddy]]... I got a whole table over there lined up with headphones and pipe bombs just waitin' for ya with your name on it. ({{beat}}) And if you want... You can go over there and say anything you feel like.\\

'''Triple H''': [[ExactWords I want you to do commentary]].\\
'''Punk''': ''(overjoyed)'' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yb-_oogBz0 Can I wear your blazer?!]]\\

Punk rushes to table.

--->''Do not adjust your television sets, ladies and gentlemen. We '''are''' in Bizarro World.''

--->'''CM Punk''': ''(overjoyed)'' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yb-_oogBz0 Can I wear your blazer?!]]
---> '''HHH''': You can even wear my blazer.
---> '''Punk''': I'M IN!!!
---> '''HHH''': Uh... One last thing: when you get down there, I'm gonna need you to do double duty. Not only are you gonna do commentary, if you wouldn't mind -- please ring the bell.
---> '''Punk''': *rubbing his thumb and forefinger together* Pay, right?
---> '''HHH''': Double pay!
---> Punk rushes to table.

*** Quite HilariousInHindsight considering that AJ & Punk are now married.

*** Quite HilariousInHindsight considering that AJ & Punk are now engaged.

** Punk spanking Fandango as he heads up to the lane to bowl, then when he tries to do the same to AJ, she immediately turns around & declares "No spanking!" which leads to Punk sheepishly turning around.

-->'''TheMiz''': ''(dismissively)'' Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention to a word you were saying.\\
'''CMPunk''': Yeah, you weren't paying attention--[[TakeThat where do you think you are, wrestling school]]?!\\

--> [[ItMakesSenseInContext "I owe all the success in the world to my facial hair."]]

* CM Punk and Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin]] in the same place outside the ring. HilarityEnsues.

--> "We were in Missouri, we were driving. But we had rented the car in one of the neighbouring states, OK, so we have an out-of-state car, driving through Missouri. I have a Chicago driver's license, an Illinois State driver's license. Kofi has a Tampa, Florida State driver's license. He is black. He has dreadlocks. I am covered in tattoos and I look like I know how to make some pretty good meth."

--> "[[PopularityPower LOOK AT ME!!]]"
--> "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I owe all the success in the world to my facial hair.]]"

--> "[[PopularityPower LOOK AT ME]]!!"

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4gJEQ4La2I&feature=related "And bitching, and bitching, and bitching..."]] Poor, poor Wrestling/{{Christian}}.

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkEqgnEDI20 "You dumb bitch, I'm not even holding a microphone!"]]

** "Don't answer this; it's a rhetorical question. If Wrestling/TripleH asked you to jump off a building would you? Because I think ''that'' would be good for business.

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y4zxcSuwlI&list=PLPmF87KBljK-5qPnuqVxNqlxNBNGR4uQL CM Punk's Grammar Slam]]

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BPzN_Q-meU&feature=youtu.be CM Punk, Fandango, AJ, and Kofi Kingston go bowling for charity.]] HilarityEnsues.

* Either [[FacePalm face-palming]], {{Corpsing}} or both during Steph's self-important, [[{{Narm}} narmtastic]] introduction of her husband TripleH for the 12/9/13 "Championship Ascension" ceremony.

* Either [[FacePalm face-palming]], {{Corpsing}} or both during Steph's self-important, [[{{Narm}} narmtastic]] introduction of her husband TripleH.

--> "Keep drinking! I want you to die!"

* [[EvenBadMenLoveTheirMamas Mother]] [[http://twitter.com/bossylynne/status/24794811816 finds]] [[http://twitter.com/bossylynne/status/24816214480 Punk]] [[http://twitter.com/bossylynne/status/24816780547 on]] {{Twitter}}. Heartwarming and HilarityEnsues.

* During a [[Wrestling/NatalyaNeidheart Natalya]] vs [[Characters/WWEDivas Melina]] match, Wrestling/{{LayCool}} were on commentary along with CM Punk, Wrestling/JerryLawler, and Josh Matthews. Early on in the match, the four were all arguing very loudly and CM Punk shouted out "[[NoisyShutUp everybody shut up!]]".