History Funny / BrentalFloss

With a childhood friend [[BoobsOfSteel who has enormous...]] [[[{{Beat}} Beat]] [[MaleGaze as the camera begins to pan down towards Tifa's chest,]] [[MyEyesAreUpHere before quickly scrolling back up to her face]]]...'''''[[SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion eyes!]]'''''

** "You're so fucking rich, Bill Gates is your bitch whenever you're in the mood."

* Any time the Flossman does a Mad Lib. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxDYQLM3IQU This one, to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'," is particularly awesome.]]

---> '''Brentalfloss:''' Just a hairy girl, living in a lonely honey bucket... Like Franchise/WinnieThePooh, like, "Piglet, I'm living in a honey bucket. Oh bother."

** "A poop salesman in a smokey gay bar." (Brent notes that selling poop sounds like a difficult job, so it's understandable that a poop salesman might want to go out to a smokey gay bar to relax after work)

* After an entire song arguing with Dave Bulmer about whether or not ''VideoGame/SuperMarioLand'' is any good, it ends with both parties shrugging and saying: "Either way, [[VideoGame/SuperMarioLand2SixGoldenCoins the sequel]] was better."

'''Dave'''(earnestly): [[BluntYes Yes!]]

The dudes [[{{Jerkass}} are total dicks]], and the ladies [[BuxomIsBetter have big breasts!]]\\

-->'''E. Gadd:''' ''Didn't Peach used to have her own plane? Cause damn!\\

These are all things that we let FUCKING BABIES do! (FUCKING BABIES)

--->''Brent'': Blow me!\\
''Dave'': No thanks.\\
''Both'': Dammit, shut up, SHUT UUUUUP!

Take That! Not Guilty!\\

** "A poop salesman in a smokey gay bar."

** The [[RunningGag running gag]] of Mario walking into something while staring at Peach. ''Even [[UpToEleven as a baby]].''

--->''Brent'': Do I sense a rambling lecture?\\
''Dave''(earnestly): [[BluntYes Yes!]]

'''Ghosts:''' And you suck the best!\

** "Dicks! Boobies! Dicks! Boobies!"
*** Then there's [[ViewerGenderConfusion his confusion]] over [[CampStraight Max]] [[{{Bishonen}} Galactica]].
** For example, he lampshades [[SaveScumming save scumming]]:

'''Brent:''' Are you kidding? ''Sunshine'''s, like, the best one!\\
'''[[RepeatCut Brent:]]''' ''Sunshine'''s, like, the best one!\\

* "What if Sewer Surfin had lyrics?" which is an entire song dedicated to how the TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles live in poop.

** And then there's Chunky! [[BusCrash He's dead.]] ([[{{Beat}} several seconds of awkward silence]])

** And then there's Chunky! [[BusCrash He's dead...]] ([[{{Beat}} several seconds of awkward silence]])

'''E. Gadd (exasperated):''' ''Let's take it home now!''

''I've never seen a royal passenger van!''\\
''But hey, you're in luck, I brought a portable hut-''\\
''Luigi, for God's sake, '''[[CallBack stop scratching your butt!]]'''''\\

''Scratchin' your butt in a hotel, not a mansion...''\\
''Such a queasy gut (such a queasy gut)''\\
''Such an itchy butt-''\\

-->''In my other pants... there's a wallet''
-->''(There's a wallet, muthafucka)''

----> Luigi, hello! Welcome to my hut. I'm professor E. Gadd--''stop scratching your butt''!

'''Boy:''' [[UsefulNotes/AndroidGam\es Ouya]]?\\

-->''You beat the game,''
-->''You're feeling pretty cool:''
-->''You stayed up all night''
-->''And missed a day of school,''
-->''You played like a champ,''
-->''So what do you get?''
-->''[[MoodWhiplash Thirty seven pounds of]] [[PrecisionFStrike Jack Shit!]]''

--->'''''SIMON BELMONT'''''
--->''VAMPIRE KILLER''
--->''Cell: 212-555-1622''
--->''Email: dracsux@emailvania[=.com=]''

--> '''Brentalfloss:''' Just a hairy girl, living in a lonely honey bucket... Like Franchise/WinnieThePooh, like, "Piglet, I'm living in a honey bucket. Oh bother."

--> '''Brentalfloss:''' [[Music/EltonJohn Elton fucking John]], waiting, shitting down the boulevard... Elton John shitting down the boulevard? ''(As he's walking along pretending to shit)'' [[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 "Can you feel the love tonight?"]] Hoo!

-->'''Dave:''' I just think that it deserves a place on the shelf with the ''good'' Mario games - which is ''all'' of them. Except ''Sunshine'', obviously.
-->'''Brent:''' Are you kidding? ''Sunshine'''s, like, the best one!
-->'''[[RepeatCut Brent:]]''' ''Sunshine'''s, like, the best one!
-->'''[[RuleOfThree Brent:]]''' ''[[SlowMotion Sunshine]]''[[SlowMotion 's, like, the best one!]]
-->'''Caption:''' THAT WAS WHAT I HEARD.
-->'''Caption:''' THEN I PLAYED IT.

-->'''Music/BrentalFloss:''' Has anyone ever used the term "Nadpoles" for semen? Because, I mean, it works.
-->'''WebVideo/TheRapCritic:''' Let's make this a thing.

-->"Maybe you'll make a new friend... ''*shows Luigi sucking up Lydia*'' A ''ghoul''-friend! ''*laughs*''

-->'''Ghost Chorus:''' Come be our special guest/On one more spooky quest
-->'''E. Gadd:''' I need someone who sucks
-->'''Ghosts:''' And you suck the best!
-->'''Luigi:''' ''[cheerfully]'' Okay!
-->'''E. Gadd:''' ''[louder]'' The best!
-->'''Luigi:''' ...Okey-dokey.
-->'''E. Gadd:''' ''[with even more emphasis]'' Your sucking beats the rest!!
-->'''Luigi:''' ''[audibly exasperated]'' Let's-a ''go.''

-->Objection! Nope. ''*life bar takes a hit*''
-->Objection! Nope. ''*life bar takes another hit*''
-->Objection! Nope. ''*life bar empties out*'' Guilty! AH! ''*section rewinds*''
-->Objection! Nope. ''*Full life bar takes a hit*''
-->Objection! Nope. ''*life bar takes a hit*''
-->Take That! Not Guilty!
-->Hehe... obviously.

-->''Ghosts abound so pound them with your [[DoubleEntendre balls of light!]]\\

-->'''Boy:''' Do you want a new UsefulNotes/WiiU?
-->'''[=GameBoy=]:''' more like "PU".
-->'''Boy:''' [[UsefulNotes/PlayStation4 PS4]]?
-->'''[=GameBoy=]:''' Oh give me more!
-->'''Boy:''' UsefulNotes/XboxOne.
-->'''[=GameBoy=]:''' Xbox Done.
-->'''Boy:''' [[UsefulNotes/AndroidGames Ouya]]?
-->'''[=GameBoy=]:''' Uh... what?

-->''Brent'': Do I sense a rambling lecture?
-->''Dave''(earnestly): [[BluntYes Yes!]]

--> ''Brent'': Blow me!
--> ''Dave'': No thanks.
--> ''Both'': Dammit, shut up, SHUT UUUUUP!

-->'''Brentalfloss''': CPR Mini-game! Dolphin Jump mini-game! Battlebots mini-game! Gay Orgy mini-game! Chocobo Mini-Game! Snowboard Race Mini-Game! Hypothermia Mini-Game! Slappity Slappity Mini-Game! Submarine Mini-Game! 30 Cats Mini-Game! Fall and Die Mini-Game! Who am I? Mini Gammmmeeeeee (coughs)

-->Disc One spins and a tale begins
-->Of a punky dude who's [[{{Wangst}} emo, just a bit]]
-->His memory's [[PrecisionFStrike shit]], but he's real [[RuleOfThree tight-knit]]
-->With a childhood friend [[BoobsOfSteel who has enormous...]] [[[{{Beat}} Beat]] [[MaleGaze as the camera begins to pan down towards Tifa's chest,]] [[MyEyesAreUpHere before quickly scrolling back up to her face]]]...'''''[[SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion eyes!]]'''''

--> [[OwMyBodyPart OW, MY NOSTRIL!]]
--> SOMEONE HELP ME!
--> WHY DOES THIS EVEN EXIST?!
--> Ugh, that was awful--
--> ''([[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl shrieking]]) OW, [[EyeScream MY EYEBALL!]]''
--> MOTHERFUCKER!
--> WHY, GOD, WHY?! WHAT KIND OF MADNESS IS THIS?!

--> '''Mario:''' [[SarcasmMode GREAT! I'M BLIND NOW! WONDERFUL!]]
--> '''Wario:''' Maybe you should've stuck to the plumbing!
--> '''Mario:''' MAYBE YOU SHOULD [[SoundEffectBleep SUCK]] MY [[SoundEffectBleep DICK]]!
--> '''Wario:''' [[InsultBackfire Really?]]
--> '''Mario:''' [[NoJustNoReaction EW! NO!]]

--> Drive through the sky right by a thunderstorm
--> Cause permanent hearing loss with a giant horn
--> Why not play chicken with a frickin' plane?
--> Or a charging subway train? (GOOD IDEA!)
--> ...
--> These are all things that we let FUCKING BABIES do! (FUCKING BABIES)

--> If he shoots ya, you'll probably die!

--> ''In this game... everything takes a really long time...''
--> '''''HOLY BALLS!''' Don't you know that there's stairs there...?''
--> ''At this pace... it's a slow and deliberate climb...''
--> '''''SLOW MY GOD''', like a snail with a walker...''
--> ''This game's hard... you get mad, and controllers are flung...''
--> '''''WHERE THE FUCK''' are these magical doodads?!''
--> ''How did kids... have the patience to deal with this dung?''
--> '''''JEEZY CRIPES''', how did anyone play this...?''

** "Slowly you're darkening" is followed by plastered face of UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump.

--> ''They say that Guile's music [[MemeticMutation goes with everything]] - that's bullshit!''
--> ''He sucks, and so does his stupid tune:''
--> ''- Duh, Sonic Boom-''
--> ''- '''YA FUCKING DICKFACE!'''''

--> '''Brentalfloss:''' [[Music/EltonJohn Elton fucking John]], waiting, shitting down the boulevard... Elton John shitting down the boulevard? ''(As he's walking along pretending to shit)'' [[Disney/TheLionKing "Can you feel the love tonight?"]] Hoo!

-->'''Boy:''' [[AndroidGames Ouya]]?

But Tiny Kong's a murderer! OF BEES!\\

*** They're still dying in the end credits.

--> [[MoodWhiplash HUH! DK! Chunky's dead!]]

** And then there's Chunky! He's dead... ([[{{Beat}} several seconds of awkward silence]])
--> [[MoodWhiplash DK! Chunky's dead!]]

--> She's killing all the bees! She's killing all the bees!
--> We don't know why, but [[RuleOfThree she's killing all the bees]]!
--> ...
--> DK! Goodbye, bees!

** Lanky earned himself a degree and became a sex-ed clown, complete with penis and vulva puppets.
** Diddy's perpetually youthful in appearance, but is a horny old primate who hates his fans. He also blogs.

** And then there's Chunky! He's dead...