History Funny / Bottom

* Bemoaning the absence of their TV, which has been repossessed, leads to recriminations:
-->'''Richie:''' ''[Coldly]'' You know very well why they took the telly away.\\
'''Eddie:''' I don't!\\
'''Richie:''' Yes, you ''do'', Edward Hitler. They took the telly away because -- according to you -- while you were wending your merry way down to the telly shop with the rent money, you ran into a rather strange and wizened old man! Who sold you five magic beans! Which -- coincidentally -- cost exactly the £86.23 we owed in back rent to Rumbelows!\\
'''Eddie:''' They ''were'' magic beans, you know.\\
'''Richie:'' Oh yes! And here... is the magic beanstalk! ''[grabs a plant pot containing a barely-perceptible little shoot]'' Well, I'm glad I've got a head for heights, because it's a ''whopper'', isn't it? We shall be needing oxygen masks before we get to the top of that one, won't we Sir Edmund?!
* Unfortunately for Richie, it turns out that Eddie has ammunition as well:
-->'''Eddie:''' ''[Dangerously]'' Well, it wasn't ''me'' who let us get behind with the rental, was it? How did we get £86.23 behind in the first place?\\
'''Richie:''' ''[Suddenly nervous]'' Oh, er -- oh, alright! ''[Unconvincingly trying to laugh it off]'' Alright! Let's change the subject. It's irrelevant! In fact, I ''forgive'' you.\\
'''Eddie:''' It wasn't ''me'' who bypassed Rumbelows every week for three months, saved up the £86.23, and took it... five doors along. To Dr O'Grady's Personal Organ Enhancement Clinic, '''''was it'''''?!\\
[...]\\
'''Richie:''' Hey, I know! Let's have a no talking competition!\\
'''Eddie:''' "For a mere £85..."\\
'''Richie: ''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh, God...]\\
'''Eddie:''' "For a mere £85, you too can have your personal organ enhanced so that it is comparable in size to that of a fully-grown mountain gorilla!"\\
'''Richie:''' [[KnowWhenToFoldEm Yes]], and when he said "comparable in size", I didn't realise he meant "an awful lot smaller than"!\\
'''Eddie:''' What, you mean it didn't work?\\
'''Richie:''' Well, I mean, yes, he did enhance it ''temporarily''. But when it said on the door "revolutionary new enlargement technique", I didn't realise he was just going to stick me in a room with a copy of ''Razzle''. Eighty-five quid! I could be watching ''[[Series/{{Emmerdale}} Emmerdale Farm]]'' now!\\
'''Eddie:''' Yeah, and then you could have got one for free.

-->'''Richie''': Steep? It's effing vertical!

* Eddie trying to remove a hair from Richie's nose with pliers and throwing him around the bathroom.
** When Richie spots it in the mirror:

** Richie, attempting to get Eddie to join him in the men's room for some plot-related scheming, decides that the best way to get his attention would be to stand at the doors and bellow "Edward Hitler! Will you please join me in the lavatory ''THIS INSTANT!''" in front of the entire pub.

** And when Eddie ''does'' stick a bit of sellotape on the fridge:

** Just before when Richie is reminiscing - a small moment but it sums up Richie and Eddie perfectly:

** All while Eddie rambles drunkenly:

** Richie realises he must be Mary:

** "God, what a night to get Guy Fawkes bottom!"

* After discovering what's on the tape, Richie and Eddie decide to blackmail the Prime Minister with it. Richie picks up the phone, demands to speak to the PM, and announces openly ''it's because he wants to blackmail him''. He's then asked for his name... which he happily provides, only to then suddenly hang up as he realises what he's done
** Eddie then takes over, while Richie urges him to use a fake name. The entire process repeats, except Eddie gives the name of 'Richard Richard'

* "Holy"
** When Richie tries to serve Spudgun an overcooked potato, it smashes his plate and rolls off the table.
-->'''Rik:''' [[AgonyOfTheFeet Ow]]!
-->'''Spudgun:''' I've changed... (Steve briefly breaks character as he laughs) I've changed my mind.

** Best example is in ''Hooligan's Island'' when the Japanese UsefulNotes/WW2 bunker is accidentally revealed in Act 1 rather than Act 2. Rik cracks up, and takes roughly about 5 minutes to recompose himself to a point where they can actually continue with the show.
*** "There was little mistake there, wasn't there? Did you spot it? Bastards."
** The "sad and tragic news" scene in the first show is very much similar.

* Eddie getting shat on by an albatross. Ade breaks character just to get his point across about how irritating the scene, and continues in a sarcastic tone.
** He does try to distract the audience with how rubbish the albatross looks so he can skip the scene. It doesn't work thanks to Rik.

** Eddie's brilliant ActorAllusion during the jail scene:

** In the fifth live show, after Richie fishes his hand through one of Eddie’s trouser pockets:

-->'''Eddie''': ''(lifts hat)'' Hello, girls! Eddie Hitler here! Come and get it! ''(gets on the chair and wiggles his bum at the camera, gets down)'' Yep, that ought to do it.
-->'''Richie''': ''(very nervous)'' He-l-o-o-o-oh. Hel-l-lo. Ah... eh, lovely weather! I, I can't see you, obviously, but I bet [[RunningGag you've all got smashing blouses on]]. Er... um... my name's Richard, and, ah -- ah-heeh -- I'm looking for a, a friend. Well, a lover really. But failing that a quick wriggle would do! Oh, and by the way, I am the Duke of Kiddiminster and extremely rich!

-->'''Lily''' You want someone homely, with cooking skills, fun to be with...and a wazzo pair of jugs?
-->'''Eddie''' That`s right.
-->'''Richie''' But obviously we're flexible.
-->'''Eddie''' Ah, but not about the jugs.
-->'''Richie''' No, we have to firm on the jugs.
-->'''Eddie''' And the jugs have to be very firm.

-->'''Lily''' Lady Natasha Letitia Sarah Jane Wellesley...
-->'''Richie''' She sounds n-
-->'''Lily''' Obstromsky Ponsonsky Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Oblomov Boblomov Dob, third viscountess of Moldavia.
-->'''Eddie''' ''(slaps the table)'' Sounds great, we'll have half a dozen!

-->'''Eddie:''' A mute pumkpin or a mute banana?

-->'''Richie:''' No, no, no. Haven't thought about that for weeks. I really must pop upstairs later and [[ADateWithRosiePalms have a good think about that.]]

* Eddie goes to the pub with their holiday money and come back a little worse for wear:

* [[StockYuck Sprouts Mexicain?]] Ingredients: some sprouts, a pinch of chili powder, jar of curry powder, 3 bottles of tabasco suace and gunpowder to taste.

-->'''Richie''': There's been no piles in this house since 1977!...That's what makes England great.

* [[StockYuck Sprouts Mexicain?]]

* Their "shake and make up" - wobble your cheeks and mime putting on lipstick.

* Eddie and Richie have stolen Cannonball Taffy O`Jones` car.

-->'''Richie''': Nnnno, no, I'm more a sort of..

-->'''Richie''': Foxy stoat? Yeeaah! Yeah, it's got a ring to it. "Foxy stoat seeks.."

-->'''Richie''': "Foxy stoat seeks pig." Shut up Eddie! This is very important. Let's see now, foxy stoat... on the prowl... Rrrrrrrrr... I like that! Musky, musky fox, musky sly old foxy stoat, minky musky sly old stoaty stoaty stoat... Oh this is ridiculous!
* The lads head to a sex shop for some pheramone spray:

-->'''Eddie''': 'I like Stork margarine because: 'I`ve only got one leg`