History Funny / Borderlands

* ''Funny/{{Borderlands 1}}''
* ''Funny/{{Borderlands 2}}''

* ''Funny/TalesFromTheBorderlands''

You may not like yourself for it, but you will laugh at ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands}}''.

For the sequel, click [[Funny/{{Borderlands 2}} here]].

* [[http://www.gametrailers.com/video/claptrap-behind-borderlands/55554 Hiyoo! *bang, bang*]]
** Speaking of online moments, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fii-KPEmcMw Claptrap doing a fan's proposal. Just... the whole thing.]]
* Who could forget:
-->'''[[BossSubtitles NINE TOES]]'''
-->''[[{{Squick}} Also, he has three balls]]''
* Jaynis Kobb's hacked Claptrap.
-->'''Hack!trap:''' Well, I could let you in, or I could stick an electrode up my back panel and call it paradise...
* Secret Armory manages to add some very memorable audio conversations between you and Knoxx as well as [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp995dHxkvg two soldiers talking about ice cream and an oversized bullet]].
** Also, during Athena's transmissions, she needs to keep them from being identified. This results in them being broadcast in between ads for "Engorge", a faux brand of ''Penis Enlargement Pills''. It's funny enough on its own, but it goes into true CMOF territory when Mr. Shank (who is identified as a "Notorious Ladies Man") is a spokesperson for it, after the player has already learned that he is EXTREMELY gay.
-->'''Mr. Shank''': Yeah so this shit is tits, guys. You should see what my bitch thinks of me now! ''His''...Err...''Her'' name is Chaz....''Mina''....and uh she...
** Same with Dr. Ned's transmissions during Zombie Island:
--> '''Dr. Ned:''' I'm baking brownies, you want one? Oh shit, wait. I forgot about me trying to shove you off this mortal coil. Can't be givin' brownies to just any vengeance driven d-wad now can I? Hey, you know if zombies like brownies?
** Later:
--> '''Dr. Ned:''' Well, y'got me outta bed, now I'm just pissed off. I love slippers. I live to wear them. Now I'm just gonna have t'kill ya.
* Near the end of Zombie Island, [[spoiler:the fake credits being interrupted by Undead Ned (HOLY F*#KING SHIT!!!)]]
* At the end of ''Robot Revolution'', [[spoiler:Claptrap shoots Marcus twice in the back, making him fall over. Before dying (and somehow returning anyway), he raises his finger and weakly says "If it took more than one shot, you weren't using a Jakobs."]]
* Anything the prison Claptrap in DLC 3 says before giving him the repair kit.
--> '''Claptrap:''' Let me out! She didn't tell me her age! Girls of all ages like candy!
--> '''Claptrap:''' When I get out of here, some of you bitches are getting stabbed. Matter of fact, I'm going to set the stabbing record on this planet.
** Even better, after you let it out and it opens the door to a treasure room for you, follow it a bit longer. It rolls into the garage doing the usual Claptrap beatboxing dance routine, then it suddenly rolls under a giant electromagnet and finds itself lifted off the ground and permanently pinned to it.
-->'''Claptrap:''' Dammit. Just kill me.
* A fair few of Moxxi's lines.
-->'''Moxxi in the Underdome:''' The Horde Wave's comin ta eatcha! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
** As well as...
-->'''Moxxi over the Echo:''' It looks like you'll need to go through the back door. ThatsWhatSheSaid! HEYO!
-->''(beat)''
-->'''Moxxi:''' Ahem. Anyway...
* The starting town's Claptrap has his idle dialogue as him starting to wheel around and spin in place while saying the following:
-->'''Claptrap''': Oh, come on, let's get down! Come on, everybody! Check me out, I'm dancin'! I'm dancin'!
** Ned's Claptrap in the Zombie Island DLC is also quite hilarious:
-->'''Ned's Claptrap''': *Dancing noises* Everybody's doin' the Claptrap! Ninja-kickin' zombies for the thrill! Chicks and shorties up in my grill! But the alive kind! *More dancing noises*
-->'''Ned's Claptrap''': Dr. Ned gave me the following awards this year; [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative 'Most Effective Claptrap in Life-Threatening Situations', 'Hottest Performer of Mid '80s Breakdance Fighting']], 'Master Orator', and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick 'Best Kisser']].
* Marcus' [[LemonyNarrator lemony voiceovers]] to the intro and outro of 'The Zombie Island of Doctor Ned'.
-->'''Marcus:''' It was a dark and stormy night... on a distant corner of Pandora where few men dare to tread. With the journey to find the elusive Vault behind them, our fearless adventurers set off into the trees of-
-->'''Child:''' What's a tree?
-->'''Marcus:''' [[OhMyGods Oh for the Angel's sake]] -- It's a plant that grows out of the ground really tall.
-->'''Child:''' Like this? (draws a cactus thing)
-->'''Marcus:''' No more interruptions! So, they set out into the trees of Jakobs Cove; a land very much ravaged and forgotten by time. It was here that the scientist Dr. Ned, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial who is totally not Dr. Zed from the last story at all]], tried to help all of mankind, but ultimately caused very bad shit.
-->'''Child:''' [[ChildrenAreInnocent That's a swear!]]
-->'''Marcus:''' Dude made zombies, okay? You're not the police of me. Pay attention. Okay, so [[BuffySpeak some bad crap was happening and it got really spooky]] and this is where our story begins...
-->'''Child:''' Is any of this going to be true?
-->'''Marcus:''' Yes. Probably a lot of it. [[AdoptionDiss You're adopted.]]
* Some of the weapons have hilarious names, to the point that players colect them for that reason alone. Perhaps the best example is the Hyperion "Bitch" sub-machinegun, which -- due to the naming system -- comes with the funny names: "Hostile", "Violent", "Malevolent", "Relentless", "Ruthless", and "Twisted", all followed by the weapon title "Bitch". ''Let alone'' the fact that the red "Flavor text" says "''Smack 'em''".
* During the intro, if one looks closely at [[FriendlySniper Mordecai]] when [[KarlMarxHatesYourGuts Marcus]] is making fun of the player characters, you can see him silently [[FlippingTheBird giving Marcus the finger.]]
* Mr. Shank's accidental transmission:
--> '''Mr. Shank:''' Chaz, stop! Oh my God I am so ticklish there! Oh, did I hit the transmit button? ...Oh crap. Uhhh... Hey, yeah, so you're still gonna still try to infiltrate my palace? Death on your head and such.
* Some of the things that Scooter comes out with:
** 'Ey, ah'm Scooter! I's named after mah sister! Hey, get you some wheels!
** The Catch-a-Ride near Fyrestone is more busted than my momma's girl parts. Really appreciate you takin' a poke at that. The, uh, system, not my mom.
*** Which is even more HilariousInHindsight when you play the first game as Mordecai, then you find out in the sequel that Mordy had a thing going on with Moxxi between games. Sorry, Scooter, but your mom's hot.
** Hey, Scooter says don't walk, drive! My daddy always said wheels were better than heels. Uh, he was paralyzed, though. [[{{Metaphorgotten}} Anyway, don't walk, drive]]!
** Act all casual like when I say this. I'm gonna speak in code, so I hope you have the mental capacity to follow. Your 'lady friend' told me to send you to 'Moxxi's place' when you stopped by... If you know what I'm saying.
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bP0mkX4KEA&feature=related Smokin' Jesus titty cinnamon!]]
* The cutscene where you rescue Athena and she tells you about how she suffered while being held prisoner by the bandits:
-->'''Athena:''' Your rescue is most agreeable. Thank you. But to be honest, mostly they just wanted to do my nails and talk about boys all the time. I almost sort of liked it here. They were like the sisters I never had [[TooMuchInformation because Atlas duped me into killing them]] -- Wow, that got heavy, didn't it?
* The intro of Claptrap's New Robot Revolution DLC:
** How does the Interplanetary Ninja Assassin Claptrap kills Vault Hunters according to Marcus? By trapping them, poisoning them and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking spreading catty rumors around town (one them being the INAC telling a bandit that Lillith says something bad about his mother).]]
** The children listening to Marcus' story chipping in again.
* The Claptrap's New Robot Revolution DLC features the return of [[spoiler:Commandant Steele]] as a Claptrapped boss encounter. [[spoiler:She [[{{Unpaused}} picks up from where she left off]] when she was killed by the Destroyer in the vanilla game, but stops short when she realizes something is wrong. "The key works! Soldier, get your team ready to go inside while I finish off ... Wait, where am I? What happened to the vault? ''[[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice WHY IS THIS HOLE HERE]]?!?''"]]
** Then, upon the character's death (again):
--> [[spoiler:'''Steele-Trap''']]: ''(dying)'' [[MercyKill Please, just kill me...]] let me die with my dignit- [[MoodWhiplash TSK TSK TSK TSK Ooooh, check me out! Yeah! Get down!]] ''(dies)''
** In addition, some of [[spoiler:Steele-Trap's]] battle quotes are hilarious.
--> Twenty points if you can shoot it through the hole!
--> Viva la Robolution! Wait, we're not seriously calling it that?
* [[spoiler:Knoxx-Trap's]] intro is just as good:
--> [[spoiler:Knoxx-Trap: I'm back. [beat] Wait. I'm back? [beat] Damn it.]]
* Some of the lines Mr. Blake comes out with:
--> '''Blake:''' This is it! The most challenging and most final phase of [[TongueTwister Operation Trap Claptrap Tap Trap]]- ''(tries again)'' Operation Trap Trapclap... Christ, that's a mouthful.
--> '''Blake:''' Our intel reports that the enemy is using a nearby factory to rebuild and refit their own Claptraps. [[FelonyMisdemeanor This is a clear violation of numerous patents and copyrights held by Hyperion]]! Also they're constructing a robot army, which is bad as well.
--> '''Blake:''' Why, ''why'' did I decide to wear wool in the desert?
* This particular line from T.K. Baha:
--> '''T.K.:''' I uh, I hate to send you away, you're great company and all... but I, [[TooMuchInformation I gotta go take a dump]]. I gotta take a dump somethin' awful! Somethin' real awful! Oh.. never mind... [[PottyFailure it's all gone now]].
* In ''Secret Armory'', there are a few Atlas advertisements that have been vandalised. So, instead of the slogan reading "ATLAS: WIELD THE POWER OF GODS", it reads "ATLAS: WIELD THE POWER OF COCKS!"
* An optional boss in ''Robot Revolution'', the Hyperion 'Super-Bad' Soldier, has some often overlooked and amusing battle cries.
--> Hyperion Corporation values your input. Does this hurt?
--> Stand down, the customer is not always right.
* Some of Dr. Ned-Trap's battle cries:
--> After I kill you, can I keep your eyeballs? You know, for science.
--> The Doctor is in... ''your face''!
--> Pour alcohol on the wound. [[INeedAFreakingDrink Also in my mouth]].
--> ''(dying)'' Tell my brother... I'm better looking than he is...
* Most of Patricia Tannis' dialog is hilarious when her SanitySlippage starts setting in, but the follow dialog takes the cake:
-->"Day 653: Day 653. Today is my birthday. I've been alone for an incalculable amount of time. A convict accidentally crossed over into my encampment this morning, and I allowed him to look about before I shot him in the back several times. I was immediately filled with regret upon doing this, because the human contact, no matter how awkward, would have been nice. I've decided his name was Lesli, and he had a troubled childhood where people would make fun of him for having a girl's name, and the torment eventually lead Lesli to a life of crime and debauchery. There was a tattoo on his bum that looked not unlike the name, 'Patricia'. I might have imagined the tattoo. The experience compelled me to move the Vault key fragment I found so that it can be safe. It's extremely important. So I've given it to the man known as Crazy Earl. He's not crazy. He doesn't like people. The Vault key will be safe with him... I also gave him my underwear."
* Tannis on the subject of Baron Flynt:
--> "After he left he took the artifact and punched my dog, which was the last piece of the Key to the Vault. The artifact, not my dog."
* Episode 4 of Claptrap's web series has some backstage arguments:
-->'''Dr. Zed:''' Hey, Clap, I just need a moment of your time to discuss some script edits, maybe.\\
'''Dr. Ned, [[JustifiedTrope who genuinely]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial isn't Dr. Zed with a fake mustache]]:''' Yeah, I'm confused, too. Are the zombies mine or--\\
'''Moxxi:''' ''[Interrupting]'' Yeah, the script says I'm going to be wearing a skag-skin bikini.\\
'''Claptrap:''' It helps the plot.\\
'''Moxxi:''' But I'm going to be in the Arctic Ruins!\\
'''Claptrap:''' ''Nipples'' are a part of the plot!\\
'''Dr. Ned:''' Oooh, nipples!\\
'''Ned and Zed:''' [[AllMenArePerverts Nice!]] ''[They high five]''
* Some of the game's {{Anti Climax Boss}}es, such as Slither. After a two or three quest arc building up the threat of a new Bandit religion based around some powerful ''thing'' named Slither, you are dispatched to kill it. [[spoiler:A bright blue Scythid Crawler with no backup.]]
* In ''Secret Armory'', the Fast Travel station at T-Bone Junction features a poster for Hyperion Corporation, who evidently are in charge of the planet's customs and border control because, according to the poster's less-than-enthusiastic slogan: "''Somebody'' has to be in charge around here." Bonus points because it doubles as {{foreshadowing}} for the sequel.
* The Rocky Road Crimson Lanceman. That is all.
* The WantedPoster for each of the Vault Hunters shows their faces. Except Lillith. It's focused a bit... [[MaleGaze further down]].
* Atlas attack drones will shill their manufacturer's products to you while ''actively trying to kill you'', up to and including expressing their dearest hopes that, in the unlikely event you survive, you will still continue to purchase Atlas products.
* After completing a series of quests for Marcus that focus on blowing up a bandit named One-eyed Jack's supplies (Because they're not getting them through Marcus, obviously), Pierce gives you a quest to kill Jack himself. Jack is in an area that's easily accessed and has no blockade to keep out cars, allowing you to splatter him before he can get three words off.
----

-->'''Marcus:''' Yes. Probably a lot of it. You're adopted.