History Funny / BeetleJuice

--> '''Beetlejuice''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice Check it out, Lydia, now we both got dead moms!]]

* Betelgeuse trying to switch numbers in the reception room with the witch doctor next to him: "HEY, THERE GOES ELVIS, YO KING!" He gets his head shrunk for the effort... ''and ends up liking the result.''

* "No Reason" starts out as Delia trying to impart her philosophical beliefs on Lydia, only to turn into a rant about her midlife crisis.
-->'''Delia:''' ''Be prepared to take your eggs and freeze 'em!''\\

** "I know... I'll watch a little TV." ''([[ExactWords turns on an]] [[https://www.fanpop.com/clubs/beetlejuice-the-animated-series/images/16377513/title/beetlejuice-little-tv-screencap absurdly tiny TV set]])''

-->'''Beetlejuice:''' (''opening the front doors of his house'') Hey! Turn down that music! IT'S ''LOUD ENOUGH TO '''WAKE THE DEAD'''!!!'' And I should know.

-->'''Betelgeuse:''' What do you think of this?\\
(camera shifts behind him as ''something'' happens to his face as it explodes)\\
(Barbara and Adam both freak out)\\
'''Betelgeuse''' (back to normal): You like it?

* In "Oh Brother!", while they're searching for a depressed Beetlejuice in the Down-And-Outback, it's shown that even Lydia's saint-like patience can only tolerate his brother Donny for so long. When they're climbing the cliff to Malice Springs...

'''Lydia''': Sick. Textbook perversion. If you guys are going to do that weird sexual stuff, do it in your own bedroom. *As the Maitlands flinch away*\\
* Lydia finishes taking pictures and looks at the duo and turns away with a sigh...only to pick up the picture and see the Maitlands as ghosts*\\
'''Lydia''': No feet! *Looks at the Maitlands and tosses the pictures away and walks over* Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?\\

'''Lydia''' *trying to look through Adam's eye holes*: What do you look like under there?\\

'''Lydia''': I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus? *goes to check under Adam's sheet*\\

'''Barbara''': *As she and Adam pull off their sheets.* You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age, I would have been scared out of my wits!\\

--> ''The Maitlands are dressed as BedsheetGhost{{s}} and float in to the main room and a camera flash goes off as we see Lydia taking pictures''.\\

--> ''The Maitlands are dressed as BedsheetGhost{{s}}'' and float in to the main room and a camera flash goes off as we see Lydia taking pictures''.\\

* Lydia finishes taking pictures and looks at the duo and turns away with a sigh...only to pick up the picture and see the Maitlands as ghosts*\\

-->'''Betelgeuse''': ''(calm, plain voice)'' Ah. Well, I attended Juilliard. I'm a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. ''(returns to character's normal voice)'' I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during ''that''! ''(chewing scenery)'' I've seen ''Film/TheExorcist'' [[SawStarWarsTwentySevenTimes ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES]], AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER ''EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT!'' NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO ''A DEAD GUY!!!'' NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? ...You think I'm qualified?

-->'''Betelgeuse''': What do you think of this?\\

-->'''Delia''': He likes it.

'''Adam''': 'Handbook for the Recently Diseased...'\\

'''Adam''': 'Deceased.'

-->'''BJ:''' Oh, I just flushed them down the toilet.
-->'''Lydia:''' You ''[[BigWhat WHAT!?]]''

-->'''Lydia:''' "Ye Shut Up"? Hmm. Don't know it, but I'll be glad to fake it for ya! ''*still playing*'' Ye shut up! Ye shut up!
-->'''Beetlejuice:''' ''*to the audience, proudly and fondly*'' You gotta love her. When she wants to, she can be almost as obnoxious as I am!

** There's also her repeatedly saying Beetlejuice’s name twice and teasingly switching to another word that begins with "be". Beetlejuice gets increasingly more irritated by her actions, but still tries to tempt her into using his services.

--> '''Beetlejuice''': [[CrossesTheLineTwice Check it out, Lydia, now we both got dead moms!]]

-->(dramatic chord in music)
-->'''Adam''': 'Handbook for the Recently Diseased...'
-->'''Barbara''' (correcting him): Deceased.
-->(dramatic chord repeats)
--> '''Adam''': 'Deceased.'

* In “Laugh of the Party”, after spending a good portion of the episode getting them recaptured (after dehydrating them since they grow in water), Lydia wonders what BJ did with the "Party People In-A-Can".

* In “Vidiots”, BJ's annoyance at having to go through several doors with the label "And/Or" on them to save Lydia from a video game villain.

* In “Oh Brother!”, while they’re searching for a depressed Beetlejuice in the Down-And-Outback, it’s shown that even Lydia’s saint-like patience can only tolerate his brother Donny for so long. When they're climbing the cliff to Malice Springs...

'''Lydia:''' What’s wrong, Donny?\\

'''Lydia:''' If he gets any nicer, I’m ''cutting the rope.''

-->'''Delia''': ''Be prepared to take your eggs and freeze 'em!''
-->'''Lydia''': [[LampshadeHanging Is this still about me?]]

--> '''Beetlejuice''': And I can be so-
--> '''Lydia''': Gross?
--> '''Beetlejuice''': Well-
--> '''Lydia''': Creepy?
--> '''Beetlejuice''': What?
--> '''Lydia''': Ugly?
--> '''Beetlejuice''': Hey!
--> '''Lydia''': Disgusting?
--> '''Beetlejuice''': Well, sure, but more importantly- The point is I can help!
** There’s also her repeatedly saying Beetlejuice’s name twice and teasingly switching to another word that begins with “be”. Beetlejuice gets increasingly more irritated by her actions, but still tries to tempt her into using his services.

[[/folder]]

-->(dramatic chord in music)

-->(dramatic chord repeats)

--->'''Beetlejuice''': You're an original, all right, and nobody wants a sequel!

-->'''Beetlejuice:''' Uh-oh. Looks like his number's up! His time's running out! (''holds alarm clock with Captain Kidder on it that rings when both hands are on 12'') He's gonna kick the bucket! (''Captain Kidder in a football uniform literally kicks a bucket, sending it over a goalpost'') Now he's biting the dust! (''Captain Kidder nibbles the ground'') He's cashing in his chips! (''Captain Kidder hands over chips to Beetlejuice at a booth in exchange for a bag of money'') He's checking out! (''Beetlejuice becomes a concierge, hands Captain Kidder a briefcase and throws him through a revolving door'') He's buying the farm! (''Beetlejuice becomes a farmer and teleports at a farm, where he hands over the deed to Captain Kidder'') Look out! This is it! He's gonna croak! (''Captain Kidder puts on a frog costume and croaks, then falls over dead'')\\

-->'''Beetlejuice:''' Okay, now, look. There's about 600 of us and it's pretty obvious we're all after the same thing.\\

-->'''Lydia:''' He's alive!\\

-->'''Lydia:''' "What did one morgue wall say to the other morgue wall? Meet me at the coroner." This proves it! Beetlejuice would never steal a joke ''this'' bad!

-->'''Lydia:''' A friend of mine was sent to prison for something he didn't do. This evidence proves him innocent. Will you look at it?\\

-->'''Wicked Mayor of the East:''' And so, my fellow Munchkins, as mayor of this unfair town, I promise to raise taxes, abuse my power and make your lives as miserable as possible. (''plays tape recorder of audience cheering'')\\

-->'''Lydia:''' Oh my gosh! [[NeverSayDie Is he...is he...?]]\\

-->'''Wicked Witch of the West:''' Curse that lion's character designer! Why couldn't he have eyes?

-->'''Lydia:''' Please, Wizard. We need your help!\\

-->'''Mr. Big:''' C'mon, Beetlejuice! Say it! I'm coming apart at the seams!\\

-->'''Beetlejuice:''' Hmm. Eyeball. Bottle o' ink. Yeah. Monkey heart. Uhhhh... I got it! I got it! I'm... (''pant legs become hairy with oversized combs in them'') ...combing a part in my pants!\\

-->'''Beetlejuice:''' Get an afterlife, Lipscum! I'd rather wear clean underwear than say something stupid like "I'm coming apart at the seams"! (''he falls apart'') Oops! Me and my big mouth.

** The various ways Beetlejuice's enemies try and fail to get Beetlejuice to say "I'm coming apart at the seams".
*** Mr. Big flies by in a plane with a few banners reading the phrase.

*** Little Miss Warden tries to get Beetlejuice to say the phrase by asking him to solve a rebus puzzle, but Beetlejuice doesn't answer it correctly.

*** Bartholomew Batt tries to trick Beetlejuice into saying it via a game of charades with the clue that the answer is a quote consisting of six words, but Beetlejuice instead answers "Down the hall, second door on the left" (which is a bit more than six words).
*** Scuzzo and Jesse Germs try to trick Beetlejuice into saying it by staging a gameshow and asking him to complete the phrase (which is only missing the letter C), but Beetlejuice doesn't even try to solve the puzzle and instead trips them over a summoned pair of porpoises.
*** Lipscum actually succeeds by simply ''daring that Beetlejuice can't say it ten times real fast''.