History Funny / BatmanBegins

--> '''Gordon:''' ''[carrying an unconscious Rachel]'' She's fading! We've gotta go! ''(Batman walks offscreen with Rachel)'' I'll get my car.\\

'''Sgt. James Gordon:''' [[Film/IndependenceDay I've gotta get me one of those]]!\\
''[The Tumbler roars across the Chicago River, with several cruisers in pursuit]''\\
'''Cop in Crushed Cruiser''': He is in a vehicle!\\
'''Dispatch:''' Make and color?\\
'''Cop in Cruiser:''' It's a black... ''(looks at his partner, who shrugs, "I don't know!" as sirens wail)'' ...tank!

** Batman is driving across the roofs while the cops are chasing on the streets below:
-->'''Cop 1:''' What street is he taking?\\
'''Cop 2:''' He's not on a street! He's ''flying'' on ''roof tops!''
** During the chase, at one point, Batman makes a turn into a parking garage, crashing through the gate. Other police cars follow him in with the parking attendant looking unfazed by the sudden excitement in his night.
** Also, when he's cornered on the roof, Batman backs the Tumbler into a compact parking space, shoving aside the cars parked on either side of said space.

-->''[points to a breaking news report showing a helicopter shot of the Tumbler being chased down the freeway by police cars]''

* As Bruce is heading out just before his guests start arriving: "Tell them that joke you know."

-->'''Alfred''': A little worse for wear, I'm afraid.

-->''[Cuts to Bruce driving it on a test track, with Fox in the passenger's seat describing the functions]''

-->'''Bruce Wayne''': Does it come in black?

--> '''Gordon:''' ''[carrying an unconscious Rachel]'' She's fading. We've gotta go! ''(Batman walks offscreen with Rachel)'' I'll get my car.\\

'''Sgt. James Gordon:''' Yours?\\
''[The Tumbler's lights come on. It zooms past Gordon, and drives over the hood of a police car, crushing the roof]''\\

''[The Tumbler drives across the bridge with several cruisers in pursuit]''\\

** That particular one happens to be a bit funnier due to an unintentional goof: he seems to be the very same cop we saw ordering Batman out of the tank on the parking garage roof.

-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' Didn't have time to observe the rules of the road, Alfred.

--> '''Alfred''': ''(shatters a sample headpiece with a baseball bat)'' It's a problem with the graphite sir. The next 10,000 will be up to specifications.

--> '''Alfred''': Quite. [[DeadpanSnarker In the meantime sir, might I suggest that you try to avoid landing on your head.]]

-->'''Cop:''' At least tell me what it ''looks'' like.\\

'''Cop in Cruiser:''' It's a black... ''(looks at his partner, who shrugs as sirens wail)'' ...tank!

'''Bruce Wayne:''' Well, you know how it is, Mr. Fox. You're out at night, looking for kicks, someone passes around a weaponized hallucinogen...

'''Cop 2:''' He's not on a street! He's flying on roof tops!

--> '''Bruce''': Well, a guy who dresses up like a bat clearly has issues.

-->Well, well. You took my advice about theatricality a bit... literally.

* 'What's the point of all those push-ups if you can't even lift a bloody log?!"

-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' I'm not learning polo, Alfred.

-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' Strange injuries, a non-existent social life. These things beg the question as to what ''exactly'' does Bruce Wayne do with his time and his money.

'''Sgt. James Gordon:''' [[Film/IndependenceDay I've gotta get me one of those]].\\

'''Cop in Cruiser:''' It's a black... ''(looks at partner, who shrugs as sirens wail)'' ...tank!

'''Cop 2:''' He's not on a street; he's flying on roof tops!

-->''[Cuts to Bruce driving it on a test track, with Fox in the passenger's seat describing how it works]''
-->'''Lucius Fox:''' She was built as a bridging vehicle. During combat, two of these would jump over a river, towing cables. Over here on the throttle, flip that open and throttle up. This will boost you into a rampless jump. ''[Bruce goes to flip the throttle. The Tumbler accelerates]'' Not now! Not... not now, Sir!

-->''[Cue GilliganCut to Bruce Wayne reading the newspaper just before an obviously irritated Earle rings his limo's number]''

-->'''Earle:''' Fox? I thought I fired you.
-->'''Fox:''' You did. I got another job; yours.

* On closer inspection of the scene where Bruce breaks into Gordon's office and holds him at gunpoint, he is not holding a gun to Gordon's neck at all. It's a ''stapler''!

* The best IronicEcho ever. What makes it even better is that it's ''two-fold''.

* The best IronicEcho ever. What makes it even better is that it's ''Two-Fold''.

** Later at Bruce Wayne's birthday party.

* The best IronicEcho ever. The fact that it's ''Two-Fold'' makes it even better.

* The best IronicEcho ever.

-->'''Earle:''' ''[to Lucius Fox]'' I'm merging your department with Archives, and I am firing you. ''[beat]'' Didn't you get the memo?

** Bonus laughs come from the fact that Bruce managed to charm the secretary in less than a minute of entering his own office building.

'''Lucius Fox:''' Not at all. I just wanted you to know how hard it was. Bottom line, I synthesized an antidote.\\

'''Sgt. James Gordon:''' [[IndependenceDay I've gotta get me one of those]].\\

** It's the looks on the inmates' faces that sells it. It's almost like they're silently asking each other, "...Did you see that too, or am I just still crazy?"

** Note continuity error: this is the same officer who was ordering Batman to surrender over the megaphone on the roof of the parking garage

-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' ''[as Alfred opens the curtains]'' Bats are nocturnal.

'''Bruce''': Sorry to disappoint.

* Alfred tries to rouse Bruce from bed.

* On closer inspection of the scene between Bruce and Gordon's first meeting as adults, but before the Batsuit is finished, Bruce is not holding a gun to Gordon's neck at all. It's a ''stapler''!

* Bruce buying the restaurant so the two women he's with can go into the fountain naked.

* When Alfred is surmising that Bruce's secret identity is to protect the people he knows from his eventual enemies, Bruce responds with Rachel, to which Alfred replies that he was thinking about himself.
* The Tumbler test drive and Bruce's grin throughout...
-->'''Bruce''': Does it come in black?

--> '''Alfred''': ''(shatters a headpiece with a baseball bat)'' It's a problem with the graphite sir. The next 10,000 will be up to specifications.

* On closer inspection of the scene between Bruce and Gordon's first meeting as adults, but before the Batsuit is finished, Bruce is not holding a gun to Gordon's neck at all. It's a ''stapler''.
* Lucius Fox and Bruce Wayne, both absolutely deadpan:

* The look on a bystander's face after calling the Bat-Tumbler a "nice ride," and then sees said ride destroy a [[spoiler: support beam]] with surface-to-surface missiles.
* A cop in a squad car is yelling through his radio at someone on the other end, for not being able to provide an accurate description of the Tumbler.

''[[[DynamicEntry The Tumbler zooms by with a roar]]]''\\
'''Cop:''' ...Never mind.
* Also:
-->'''Cop''': He is in a vehicle!\\
'''Dispatch:''' Make and color?\\
'''Cop:''' It's a black... ''(looks at partner, who shrugs as sirens wail)'' ...tank.
* Also:

* This piece of dialogue before the Tumbler Chase.
--> '''Gordon:''' ''(as Batman walks offscreen with Rachel)'' I'll get my car.\\
'''Batman:''' I brought mine!\\
'''Gordon:''' Yours? ''(Tumbler drives past him and partially crushes a police car)'' [[IndependenceDay I've gotta get me one of those]].
* After the dramatic car chase, Bruce sedates Rachel then heads upstairs, only to get a WhatTheHellHero moment from Alfred:
-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' When you told me your grand plan for saving Gotham, the only thing that stopped me from calling the men in white coats was when you said that it ''wasn't'' about thrill-seeking.
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' It's not.
-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' What would you call *that*?
-->''[points to a breaking news report showing a helicopter shot of the Tumbler being chased down the freeway by police cars]''
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Damn good television]].
-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' It's a miracle no one was killed.
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' Didn't have time to observe the rules of the road, Alfred.

* Alfred tries to rouse Bruce from bed. Bruce groans, "Bats are nocturnal!"

--> '''Bruce''': The guy dresses up like a bat... clearly has issues.

[[redirect:Funny/TheDarkKnightSaga]]