History Funny / BadLipReading

--->'''Player:''' Ah, tell your mama to tell mama, we splice the dice, we splice the dice. Yet we have no dice. Yo, I was at the mall, offloading some spaceships, and I never will love no more.

'''Coach 2:''' [[ShockAndAwe Lightning!]] [[UnsoundEffect gur gur gurgur]]\\

** "''Touch the sky and colourful bears will take you for the jump''"

** Tom Brady briefly loses it, ordering one player to stop standing another to stop drinking,and saying a third is a spy.
*** Given a coach says "[[OhNoNotAgain oh no, it's happening again]]", this isn't even the first time.

'''Trump:''' Yeah, well, [[SurpriseCreepy you'll flee from me.]]\\

--->'''Random player:''' ''(Dumps a bucket of gatorade on the interviewer)''\\

** The fourteenth Senator Claims to have known [[UsefulNotes/AlbertEinstein Einstein]], who apparently had a green bean bag, an ample supply of chocolate milk, and if he were still around, a vehement dislike of Facebook.

** "''Phew'', that movie ''sucked''! The whole script was wrong, and Creator/SethRogen, well, he had to serve a big red duck! Man, he'd scalp a sentimental cripple! [[TakeThat What a douche!]]"

--->'''Senator 6:''' Mr. Zuckerman... (groans) World War I was awful, do you agree?\\
'''Mark:''' ... (confused) Uh, yes?\\
'''Senator 6:''' (groans) Well- (scoff) why are we even here, then?
** Senator Graham is not even paying attention, instead singing an InUniverse song called "Judy Moonlight" to himself the whole time.

** Senator Number 9 isn't even concerned with the Senate Trial and [[NoodleIncident tried to break into Mark's Porsche]].
** Number 10 swings his arm out, then demands Mark to stare at his hand. (It’s traditional apparently)
** Senator Eleven mentions “weenies” that Mark’s neighbor Barb tries to give him.
** The twelfth Senator ''forgets Mark’s name'' and his only question about [[AtrociousAlias Bojang Bugami]] is the etymology.

'''Trump:''' Yeah, well, [[SurpriseCreepy you'll flee from me.]]

-->'''Joe:''' Will someone answer the phone? The phone? Get the phone?...What?\\

'''Joe:''' No, right there, the ringing.\\

--->'''Chris:''' Your favorite movie.\\
'''Joe:''' ''Film/{{Showgirls}}'' [[[DirtyOldMan Smirks a little]]]

** "[[BerserkButton How could you not like snow]]?! Snow?! Snow! Snow! [[OverLongRunningGag Snow]]? I ''lick'' snow! It's totally normal! [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial It's not harmful]]! Hey, you know what? Like, y'all don't know snow like I do! See, like, I'm like a snow lover!"

** Instead of the national anthem, [[Music/{{Fergie}} Fergie]] instead sings about falling down (precisely one) step, then laments nobody wants her bread.

-->"SAMURAI."

---> ''Extra lemon in my diet Snapple makes a girl happy, yeah that's right, s**t that's right, tea's got me jamming from head to toe''.

--> ''...and I hate those greenish potatoes with them SOGGY FIIISH STIIIIICKS!!!'' '''''[[{{Angrish}} ÅÅÅ!!!]]'''''

-->I be regular, bitches! ... Yamma yamma yam! Ah-hah! Aah!

--> "Yeah, she did it."

** Even the voiceover at the end telling you to buy the song on iTunes. "[[CloudCuckoolander Oh my God, what if Etch-A-Sketches were real]]?!"
* [[spoiler: Chewbacca]].

* [[CloudCuckoolander Yoda]]'s character taking an abrupt dark turn at the end of "Seagulls."

--> "Ding dong llama wannee, jumpin' with an ice pick, she thinks I'm goin' in!"

-->We got 69 ankle shoes. No no no no not no damn banana shoes. Eleven hos can't come in here and keep they shoes off. You know what the crowd says, we all homosexual…

-->NACHO MA JOW SEE\\

-->"Listen, Amy, [[KillThePoor poor people can suck it!]]"

-->"Hey, if you fancy this cow, make it now, 'cause he wants for you all to [[UnusualEuphemism frost his lemonhead]]. And the lousy stiff hunts and fluffs and stinks like pee and now he's mayor of a bank!"

---->'''Anderson''': Oooh, time's up for [[MaliciousMisnaming Colonel Sanders]]!
---->'''Bernie''': Hey look, [[Film/TheSixthSense I see a dead person!]]
---->'''Anderson''': [[SarcasmMode Oh, really, where?]]
---->'''Bernie''': ''[[ImpliedDeathThreat He's got your eyes!]]''

--->'''Hillary''': Hey, the white boy thinks it's scooter time!

-->'''Ted''': I need a bogle for the glotch. Stop volution. [[CaptainObvious Your face isn't my face]]. Mmm, that old man just took your spork. If you want boyfriend time, then you must be a girlfriend. I hate pervy records.

-->'''Ted''': I went down to the summer camp [[KillItWithFire and took a can of gasoline.]]\\
'''Kid''': Don't light the cabins on fire!\\
'''Ted''': [[FalseReassurance I wish I couldn't, but it's too late.]]\\
'''Kids''': But doesn't that mean you go to jail?\\
'''Ted''': [[KarmaHoudini No, because I ran away.]]

--->'''Ted''': ...I don't want to ask who's the baby daddy. ''(whispering)'' I know it's hiiiim...

-->'''Lady''': Yes, Lady Clinton: what does your friend know about the poop in the basket-
-->'''Hilary''': (interrupting) Ma'am, this question is over.
-->'''Lady''': O-oh, okay, thank you.

-->'''Meghan:''' I don't want that. That present is a fail.

-->'''Michael Curry:''' My friends, [[TooDesperateToBePicky dog food doesn't feel so gross to the starving man.]] If you want a hot dog, then you gotta cook a hot dog - ''what?''- '''PUT IT ON THE STOVE'''... But you won't get enough... ''You won't get enough''. [[SpoofAesop Does it help you to eat this wiener thing? I don't think that it does.]] You know, I slipped and I fell into a coffin this weekend-[[ImmediateSelfContradiction no I didn't!]] it was [[AllJustADream just a dream]]. It was just a dream. There wasn't a coffin. I said hurray! And do you know what I felt like? Like the best squirrel in the hole. [[IceCreamKoan Now let us all try to be the best squirrel in the hole.]]

-->'''Joe:''' Will someone answer the phone? The phone? Get the phone?...What?
-->'''Chris:''' There's no phone that's ringing.
-->'''Joe:''' No, right there, the ringing.
-->'''Trump:''' I don't hear any ringing.
-->'''Chris:'''...[[ThisIsGonnaSuck oh boy]]...

-->'''Chris:''' Your favorite movie.
-->'''Joe:''' ''{{Film/Showgirls}}'' [[[DirtyOldMan Smirks a little]]]

-->'''Random player:''' ''(Dumps a bucket of gatorade on the interviewer)''
-->'''Interviewer:''' '''''Y'ALL GON DIE!'''''

-->'''Interviewer''': How are you feeling?\\
'''Adrian Peterson''': ''[exhausted]'' Egg roll. I wish I had a breeze runnin' down my leg. I'd kill for a cookie. Stingray, a double-sided Scooby Snack. Yeah, we pick our hotel.

-->'''Trent Cole:''' '''[[VoiceOfTheLegion THE GHOST IS NEAR.]]'''
-->'''E.J. Manuel:''' Wait, what did he just... I'm crying inside of me.

-->'''Man:''' Okay, what's broken? His leg bone, and his tail bone, his arm bone, [[OhCrap his head bone?!]]
** A referee is apparently a [[Music/WuTangClan Wu Tang]] fan given he says "Long live Wu Tang" in the middle of a game:
-->'''Random player:''' Huh?

-->'''Players:''' OINK! OINK! (They grunt twice) OINK! OINK! (and again) MOO! [[LampshadeHanging That last one is not a pig sound!]]

-->'''Player:''' Ah, tell your mama to tell mama, we splice the dice, we splice the dice. Yet we have no dice. Yo, I was at the mall, offloading some spaceships, and I never will love no more.

** Somehow Saw Gerrera from [[Film/RogueOne Rogue One]] joined the NFL:
-->'''Saw:''' Young man, why run?

-->'''Team:''' Winkle, Winkle, Wink wittle ghost! And kiss a pickle as you haunt your tree, hey!

-->'''Suh''': [[CordonBleughChef Lobster scrotum pasta.]]

-->'''Coach 1:''' [[AnIcePerson Ice!]]
-->'''Coach 2:''' [[ShockAndAwe Lightning!]] [[UnsoundEffect gur gur gurgur]]
-->'''Coach 1:''' [[BarrierWarrior Repel!]]
-->'''Coach 2:''' [[NoYou Return!]]
-->'''Coach 1:''' Fright mode!
-->'''Coach 2:''' [[AnythingButThat Wait, no!]]
-->'''Coach 1:''' eYAHH!
-->'''Coach 2:''' Oh dear.

--->'''Senator''': 'Kay, how 'bout you just chug the water? (Mark continues to sip; bubbling noises start up) I want you to cut it off- ''are you blowing bubbles?'' I'm gonna have to spank yoooooooou.

--->'''Senator #2''': I swear, it's like he's got a mask on. (to Mark) Listen, kid, blink if you're not a lamp.
--->'''Mark''': (does nothing)
--->'''Senator #2''': ''Weeeeeeeeeeeell...''
*** Mark is asked to smile. [[TheUnsmile The result is so horrifying]] that he's asked to not do that again for the rest of the day.

-->'''Senator 3''': So if I have the facebook, do I have the internet?
-->'''Mark''': Um,yeah.

-->'''Mark''': No, please don't send anything.
-->'''Senator 4''': Okay, [[BigStupidDooDooHead I guess you're stupid.]]
-->''' Mark''': It's just a van.
-->'''Senator 4:''' I told you, it's a ''special'' van!

--> '''Senator 5''': Do you think I should shave my head for a Frenchman? Cause some people say 'You should shave your head!' ''ehhhhhhh'' what do you think?

--->'''Senator #6''': Mr. Zuckerman... (groans) World War I was awful, do you agree?
--->'''Mark''': ... (confused) Uh, yes?
--->'''Senator #6''': (groans) Well- (scoff) why are we even here, then?

--->'''The Governor''': ♫~ I always wanted a Wookie, then I found out they weren't real. (Thanks for nothing George Lucas!) ~♪

--->'''Morgan Jones''': "You think you're black?!"\\
'''Rick''': "I'm black, yeah."\\
'''Morgan Jones''': "Brother, you got skin like an English kid.\\
'''Rick''': "But I don't like coffee..."\\
'''Morgan Jones''': [dead serious] "But you'd eat a bagel."

--->'''Rick''': "Knock, knock."\\
'''Andrea''': "Who's there?"\\
'''Rick''': "Why don't you zip it?"

--->'''Dale''': What the hell are you ''talkin''' about?

--->'''The Governor''': I found out from Orlando, that biter who's a handyman.\\
'''Rick''': Whoa, whoa, wait, you got a handyman that's a ''walker?''\\
'''The Governor''': Well, to be honest, he breaks more things than he fixes, but, he's still got most of his face, so... I trust him.

--->'''Tyreese''': Hey papi. Oh.\\
'''Alan''': You just like me for my weed.\\
'''Tyreese''': Yes, I will admit it.

--->'''T-Dog''': ''[singing]'' "An old man... he got wet... I was talkin' to a psychic... and I can't sleep in the o-zone... there's too many different peanuts lookin' saaad..."\\
'''Lori''': I-I-I would like to go now.

--->'''Hershel''': Now, listen, kids... now, don't think you can just squirt your loogies on the floor!\\
'''Rick''': Okay, [[FlatWhat what?]]\\
'''Hershel''': Now, wiggity woah, daddy. I mean, why can't everybody just be like... like Music/{{Prince}}? An angel with a little afro.

--> '''Eddie:''' Okay, people, we've got one week until the park opens, so let's do it all again. This time, please don't forget your accents.
--> '''Bobby B (Robert)''': Get off my case! It's hot in this getup, you chode!
--> '''(Eddie drops his megaphone with an exasperated expression.)'''

--> '''Eddie''': Uhhhh...

--> '''Eddie''': D-Did that just happen?!

--> '''Viserys:''' (Gasp) HE WAS A CAPRICORN!

-->'''Caleb:''' ''[as Jennifer Lopez starts swaying on her seat]'' Oh no, please don't do the sexy dance!

-->'''Caleb:''' It's the cake maaaan... oh my gosh! Yeaheah-ARUGH (slips and falls onto the floor)

-->'''Katniss''': I'M THE QUEEN!

-->'''Katniss''': You... stink! mmmmyaaaaaahhh!
-->'''Clove''': Yay, a goat!

-->'''Cinna''': Drank.\\
'''Haymitch''': He is ''so'' right.

--> '''Haymitch''': (''To Peeta'') "Hey, Joe--Wait, who's Joe?"
--> '''Katniss''': "Oh, wait, wait, you're not Joe? I thought he was Joe?"
--> '''Haymitch''': "He's CODFISH JOE!"

--> '''Gale''' (to Katniss in a whisper): Franchise/ScoobyDoo.
* [[{{Film/Twilight}} Twilight]] has some good ones:
--> '''Bella''': Y'know, I spit on my brother.
--> '''Edward''': Yikes... I, um--
--> '''Bella''': Yeah, that whole, um, brother thing... Mmm-''mm''!
--> '''Edward''': ...Gross.
--> '''Bella''': He's Kevin, so...
--> '''Edward''': Mmkay.
--> '''Bella''': KEEEEVVVV-INNNNN.

--> '''Edward''': (sheepishly) I wanted to make some seafood.
--> '''Bella''': That's so... loser-ly.
* From "[[{{Film/Twilight}} More Edward and Bella]]": "Can you get me an earwig?"

--> '''Bella''': Today my rabbit went to the hospital. Little Dougie.
--> '''Edward''': Well he's dead then. No, not to be weird, it's just expensive. They're not going to just fix your ''boring'' rabbit.

* '[[Film/TheAmazingSpiderman Peter and Gwen]]'
-->'''Gwen''': Kiss me.\\
'''Peter''': I can't. I have a really big wedgie. ''[tearing up]'' And I made ''no'' friends buying the spork!

-->'''Peter''': ''[cheerfully]'' [[WouldHitAGirl I'd like to slap you, boo.]]\\
'''Gwen''': Why?\\
'''Peter''': I hate your food.

-->'''Peeta''': Everybody raise your hand if you like this song!\\

'''Peeta''': Raise your hand if you want us to leave.\\

-->'''Peeta''': ''[singing]'' ''Well now you know your grandma found the wigs''/''Your family gives you tumors, every year...''

-->'''Haymitch''': ''(to Katniss)'' [[TakeThat You like very simple guys!]]
-->'''Katniss''': ''(robotic)'' I-am-afraid-we-are-in-a-castle.

--> '''Effie:''' ♪Spread your cheeks and clap, then smack your doctor/I'm gonna go do that/Right now♪

-->'''Katniss''': ''(weird voice)'' I don't really care what you just said to me!\\
'''Gale''': Of course, you're insane.\\
'''Katniss''': You're not my friend.\\
'''Gale''': ''[[TakeThat Sweet.]]''\\
'''Katniss''': I ''know'' you stole my yellow fanny pack.\\

---

* All of "Redneck Avengers", but an especially funny touch is how the SHIELD organization's base is now in a trailer, complete with a crude cardboard sign saying "SHIELD" outside.
[[folder: Star Wars [=BLRs=]]]
* Han in general being an overly comedic singer, with a tendency to ask for ridiculous items in absurdly specific numbers such as 17 frogs.
* The dub of ''[[Film/ANewHope Star Wars: A New Hope]]'' has a lot of these.
** C-3PO having an Indian accent.
** Luke and Owen having deep southern country accents.
** And R2-D2 acting and sounding like a little girl.
** The fact that the many characters without visible mouths makes it really easy to just dub in whatever they want. Especially stormtroopers and aliens.
** Luke's introduction:
--> '''Luke:''' A big grey thing chased me up the mountain and froze!
--> '''Owen:''' Remember what I said about that? That was your shadow!
--> '''Luke:''' Oh yeah, that thing.
** Leia's hologram, and Luke's reaction:
--> '''Leia:''' I want a wooden snowman, but no one sells them. *knocking at door* I'll be right out! *crouches to insert plans, [[ToiletHumor farts]]* (repeat on loop)
--> '''Luke:''' I want her to dance!
--> '''R2-D2:''' She does not dance.
--> '''C-3PO:''' Come on, make her dance for him!
--> '''R2-D2:''' That's not how it works.
--> *message plays*
--> '''Luke:''' Holy chicken, she's beautiful. *points* I wish you were real!
** Obi-Wan's reason for seeking Han's help:
--> '''Ben:''' Look, I just need the pickaxe of Cortez and the mystical diamonds!
** This exchange
--> '''Han:''' Well, why don't you just move to Nevada,dude.?
--> '''Luke:''' Because I heard it was a bad part of Mexico! Did you hear him? [[TooDumbToLive He doesn't even know geography!]] [[note]] Nevada actually WAS a part of Mexico for a time. [[/note]]
** Negotiations with Greedo:
--> '''Greedo:''' Listen, I've been sent here to collect all your fireworks, okay?
--> '''Han:''' Aw, just let me set 'em off at the meeting.
--> '''Greedo:''' Well, maybe I will if you give me your grilled meat.
--> '''Han:''' I don't ''have'' any grilled meat.
--> '''Greedo:''' Okay...um, do you have any pets?
--> '''Han:''' I have a monkey in a bottle...
--> '''Greedo:''' Does your monkey go "hoo hoo ''HOO''"?
--> '''Han:''' No, that's the pet giraffe. *immediate cut to Greedo being shot*
** Musings aboard the ''Falcon'':
--> '''Han:''' Y'know, I should build a baby Taco Bell. The sign would be kinda cute.
** Han singing:
--> '''Han:''' ♪I love it when you say that/A lot of great skaters bust their teeth♪
--> '''Obi-Wan:''' That song didn't make a bit of sense, and I don't like it!
--> '''Han:''' ♪There's an extra part that's worth it/And I'll sing it if I get/To clip your nails♪ Okay, anyway, I'm hopping on the can.
** Food?
--> '''Han:''' Ugh, I'm going crazy, I'm so hungry.
--> '''Luke:''' Well, I could make grilled cheese...
--> '''Han:''' No offense, kid, I don't think you even know how to boil water.
** Luke meets Leia:
--> '''Luke:''' I was a dog walker, you're really cute!
--> '''Leia:''' Ew.
--> '''Luke:''' Oh, you're ''really'' cute, and I forgot to wash earlier, but my bed is open!
--> '''Leia:''' No, person!
--> '''Luke:''' That's okay!
** The lightsabers sounding like two plastic props smacking together, much like they would have on-set.
** Han's innocent!
--> '''Luke:''' Did you take my wallet?
--> '''Han:''' Of course not. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial And it's probably not in the trash by my armchair, so don't even look there.]]
** Darth Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin's relationship:
--> '''Vader:''' Yo, what's up, Moffball?
--> '''Tarkin:''' I like bread.
--> '''Vader:''' Yeah, great, thanks for reminding me of what I can't eat 'cause of the mask!
--> '''Tarkin:''' You shouldn't have called me a "big turd burglar" at the gym.
--> '''Vader:''' Hehehe, ''turd burglar''...
** Leia's strange noises like 'FNEER!'
* From the BLR of ''Film/TheForceAwakens'':
** BB-8's true identity: a Demonic Machine named Ricky
-->'''Poe''': "[[IllKillYou I WILL]] ''END'' YOU, DEMON!
** Han (voiced by Creator/MarkHamill no less) being the 'upset parent in the backseat'
** Han's [[OhCrap reaction]] to hearing about [[TheDreaded Ninjas]]
-->'''Han''': "Did you say NINJA?!"
-->'''Poe''': "Y-yeah.."
-->'''Han''': "They have Karate and can snap your shins clean!"
-->'''Poe''': "I'm scared now, alright?!"
-->'''Han''': "They'll pluck out our eyelids!"
-->'''Poe''': "Wait,[[SkewedPriorities could you still fall asleep?]]"
-->'''Han''': "How are ''those'' your first words?"
** The scene with Han confronting Kylo, except this time it's over a finger puppet. The [[CallBack one he asked Snoke for earlier in the video no less]]. But the reactions of everyone else are still kept the same, so they are ComicalOverreacting.
** Kylo donning his helmet and showing his father a Vulcan salute:
-->'''Han''': That's something different!
-->'''Kylo''': No, no I'm a [[Franchise/StarTrek Vulcan]].
--> '''Han''': "Vulcan [[CurseCutShort my a-]]
* The series makes a return for ''Film/TheLastJedi''
** Luke begins by trying to destroy the Texts only to be interrupted [[HesBack by a familiar someone]]:
-->'''Yoda:''' Hey. Where's the fire son?
-->'''Luke:''' [[DoubleTake What the]]-[[OhCrap OH NO.]]
** When Luke tries to ignore him.
-->'''Yoda:''' Hey! [[{{Angrish}} eh-wha]]. I told you to ''stop!''
-->'''Yoda: ''' (Destroys texts)
-->'''Yoda:''' Now THAT'S a fire!
** This also implies Yoda destroyed the tree holding the texts because he was ''mad at Luke'' instead of for more symbolic reasons.
** Yoda then proceeds to go into an entire musical number about his Stick, which he proclaims to be better than bacon. Some highlights:
*** Yoda insisting Luke wants to touch his Stick, only for Luke to reply he wants ''[[NoJustNoReaction nothing of the sort]]''.
*** Yoda having bought a pig, only for it to wake him up, and later [[WhatAnIdiot a bag of venom]].
*** Yoda apparently got his stick from that Log back on Dagobah.
*** Yoda [[TakeThat calling Luke's grumpiness out]].
*** In a nod to speculation about Grogu/Baby Yoda from ''Series/TheMandalorian'', cue footage of him when Yoda mentions his childhood.
*** A rather fed up Luke threatening to destroy the Stick with The Force.
--
[[/folder]]

-->'''Yoda:''' Hey! [[{{Angrish}} wha-hey]]. I told you to ''stop!''

-->'''Yoda:''' Hey! {{Angrish Wha-hey}} I told you to ''stop!''

-->'''Yoda:''' Hey! [[Angrish Wha-hey]] I told you to ''stop!''

-->'''Luke:''' [[DoubleTake What the]] [[OhCrap OH NO.]]

*** In a nod to speculation about Grogu/Baby Yoda from ''Series/TheMandalorian''', cue footage of him when Yoda mentions his childhood.

*** This also implies Yoda destroyed the tree holding the texts because he was ''mad at Luke'' instead of for more symbolic reasons.

*** Yoda having bought a pig, only for it to wake him up, and later [[WhatAnIdiot a bag of venom]].

--> '''Han''': "Vulcan [[CurseCutShort my a-]]"

-->:'''Poe''': "[[IllKillYou I WILL]] ''END'' YOU, DEMON!

-->We got 69 ankle shoes. No no no no not no damn banana shoes. Eleven hos can't come in here and keep they shoes off. You know what the crowd says, [[EveryoneIsGay we all homosexual…]]