History Funny / BabylonBee

* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/facebook-introduces-new-heresy-reaction-button "Facebook Introduces New 'Heresy!' Reaction Button']]. (Fun fact: there's a "Heresy!" button in real life, it's the trigger on your [[TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 boltgun]])

** The letter X finally returns as Letter of the Day, for the first time in decades. Elmo reveals there are new letters featuring X: [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latinx "Latinx"]] and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Womxn#:~:text=at%20least%201975).-,Definition,of%20trans%20and%20nonbinary%20women) "Womxn"]]. X, who is flabbergasted, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere finally bails in frustration]] when he sees the next word is [[spoiler:"Blxck Pxxplx"]].
** Elmo then decides that the new Letter of the Day will be Q, who immediately starts [[spoiler:indoctrinating Elmo with [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon QAnon]] conspiracy theories.]]

* [[https://youtu.be/rFNCsSBnYVg "Twitter Employee Undergoes Therapy Over Elon Musk Takeover"]]: The Twitter employee receives an InkblotTest. She thinks almost all the images look like Nazis, except for one which [[Recap/VeggieTalesEpisode5DaveAndTheGiantPickle looks like a lip]], and [[spoiler:a Swastika which she just identifies as the Hindu symbol for peace]].

* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/user-really-enjoying-app-until-the-app-asked-if-he-was-enjoying-the-app "User Was Really Enjoying App Until The App Asked If He Was Enjoying The App"]]

** In contrast, the liberal comedy writers have all sorts of [[spoiler:the [[OverlyLongGag same unoriginal joke]]: conservatives are dumb.]]

* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/jr-high-scientists-recommend-social-distancing-from-parents-to-stop-the-spread-of-lame "Junior High Scientists Recommend Social Distancing From Parents To Stop The Spread Of Lame"]]

* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/man-has-bizarre-fetish-for-a-committed-relationship-with-one-woman-bound-by-marriage "Man Has Bizarre Fetish For A Committed, Loving Relationship With One Woman In Marriage"]]

%%* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/too-far-texas-dispatches-thwomps-to-guard-border "Too Far: Texas Dispatches Thwomps To Guard Border"]]

%%[[folder:2023]]

%%* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/california-achieves-worlds-first-crime-rate-of-zero-as-all-crime-is-legal-now "California Achieves World's First Crime Rate Of Zero After Legalizing All Crime"]]
%%[[/folder]]

[[folder:2023]]
* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/mike-pence-refuses-to-eat-bag-of-all-female-mms-unless-wife-is-present "Mike Pence Repents After Eating Bag Of All-Female M&Ms Without Wife Present"]]
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n2ve0dcZPk "Black Conservative Attends First Republican Meetup"]]
* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/too-far-texas-dispatches-thwomps-to-guard-border "Too Far: Texas Dispatches Thwomps To Guard Border"]]
* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/dads-epic-bedtime-story-sounds-suspiciously-like-the-plot-to-ocarina-of-time "Dad’s Epic Bedtime Story Sounds Suspiciously Like The Plot To 'Ocarina Of Time"]]
* [[https://babylonbee.com/news/california-achieves-worlds-first-crime-rate-of-zero-as-all-crime-is-legal-now "California Achieves World's First Crime Rate Of Zero After Legalizing All Crime"]]
[[/folder]]

** '''The Message:''' Renowned author and Bible scholar Eugene Peterson painstakingly translated the Scriptures from the original languages into a lit freestyle rap. Peterson reportedly spent decades undercover with a violent Detroit gang in order to develop the rich vocabulary and colorful metaphors packed into The Message. There are also rumors that [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs heavy marijuana and LSD use aided him in his translation process]].