History Funny / Asterix

22nd Aug '16 1:39:50 PM jakobitis
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** How Convolvulus'... talents... first became apparent: he was thrown into the Arena with starving lions. The lions then ate ''each other''.
21st May '16 12:27:24 PM igordebraga
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** The one pirate who escapes a beating is hidden in a cauldron, and drives Obelix away by saying [[NobodyHereButUsBirds "Noooo! There's nothing here but chestnuts!"]][[note]]The Brazilian translations give two [[InherentlyFunnyWords funny-sounding]] alternatives, "rooster stew" and "pumpkin candy".[[/note]] As the Gauls walk away, Obelix laments not taking the chestnuts, Asterix says they're not in season... and Obelix has to be restrained from going back.


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** And yet his SitcomArchnemesis Fulliautomatix does "rent" a fish to hit Cacofonix later.
2nd May '16 10:17:54 AM AndIntroducingALeg
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** As Getafix puts in in ''Obelix and Co'', "We've been using menhirs for centuries, and we still don't know what they're for".
8th Jan '16 9:18:22 AM TheUnsquished
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** The pirates' boat is sunk by an [[MadeOfExplodium exploding]] [[BlessedAreTheCheesemakers cheese]]. Seriously. (Based on the French stereotype that Corsican cheese has a smell that would knock an elephant unconscious.)

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** The pirates' boat is sunk by an [[MadeOfExplodium exploding]] [[BlessedAreTheCheesemakers cheese]].cheese. Seriously. (Based on the French stereotype that Corsican cheese has a smell that would knock an elephant unconscious.)
12th Aug '15 12:07:23 AM AndIntroducingALeg
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** Bacteria thinks that hiring boats is a better idea: "People are so careless. The state they return their fish in..."
7th Jul '15 9:12:41 PM N.Harmonik
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** When the Legionaries are taking lunch, Asterix explains to Obelix that the more stronger the army, the more disgusting the food is ("that's what keeps the men in a nasty mood"). Comes the food, Asterix tastes it...

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** When the Legionaries are taking lunch, Asterix explains to Obelix that the more stronger the army, the more disgusting the food is ("that's what keeps the men in a nasty mood"). Comes the food, Asterix tastes it...



** The Lair of the Beast segment: Asterix and Obelix have to get out of the titular place alive, which houses [[EldritchAbomination a creature nobody ever saw and came back to tell the tale]]. Cue a series of creepy and surreal moments, until they finally get at the threshold of the Beast's cave... [[MoodWhiplash And immediately we switch to a typical bright Roman town]]. Asterix and Obelix just get out of a sewer grate and sit next to Caius Tiddlus, the clerk who's accompanying them on their journey, who's already waiting for them in a tavern. The kicker comes when Tiddlus asks them "How was the Beast"...
--->'''Obelix:''' [[spoiler:Very tasty! Waiter! A liqueur, please!]]
** The House That Drives You Mad segment which immediately follows. Asterix and Obelix just have to get an application form in a standard administration. Sounds easy, right? Well, [[ObstructiveBureaucrat there's a reason why it's called]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin the House That Drives You Mad...]]

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** The Lair of the Beast segment: Asterix and Obelix have to get out of the titular place alive, which houses [[EldritchAbomination a creature nobody ever saw and came back to tell the tale]]. Cue a series of creepy and surreal moments, until they finally get at the threshold of the Beast's cave... [[MoodWhiplash And immediately we switch to a typical bright Roman town]]. Asterix and Obelix just get out of a sewer grate and sit next to Caius Tiddlus, the clerk who's accompanying them on their journey, who's already waiting for them in a tavern. The kicker comes when Tiddlus asks them "How what the Beast was the Beast"...
like...
--->'''Obelix:''' [[spoiler:Very tasty! Waiter! A liqueur, please!]]
I'd like a drink!]]
** The House That Drives Sends You Mad segment which immediately follows. Asterix and Obelix just have to get an application form in a standard administration. Sounds easy, right? Well, [[ObstructiveBureaucrat there's a reason why it's called]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin the House That Drives Sends You Mad...]]
21st Jun '15 7:28:48 PM ArcaneAzmadi
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--->'''Obelix''': I don't see the difference between Asterix's politeness and mine?
** When the Legionaries are taking lunch, Asterix explains to Obelix that the more powerful the armies are, the more disgusting the food is ("it keeps the warriors in bad mood"). Comes the food, Asterix tastes it...
--->'''Asterix''' (disgusted): Toutatis, I had no idea the Roman army was ''that'' powerful!
** When they're being fitted for their uniforms, Obelix insists he's a medium size. RealityEnsues as his shield goes flying--and strikes Nefarius Purpus in the face.

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--->'''Obelix''': I don't see the difference between Asterix's politeness and mine?
mine.
** When the Legionaries are taking lunch, Asterix explains to Obelix that the more powerful stronger the armies are, army, the more disgusting the food is ("it ("that's what keeps the warriors men in bad a nasty mood"). Comes the food, Asterix tastes it...
--->'''Asterix''' (disgusted): Toutatis, I had no idea didn't know the Roman army was ''that'' powerful!
strong!
** When they're being fitted for their uniforms, Obelix insists he's a medium size. RealityEnsues as his shield cuirass goes flying--and strikes Nefarius Purpus in the face.
12th Apr '15 4:46:00 PM fruitstripegum
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** Anything involving Ptenisnet, the Egyptian tourist drafted into the Roman army who spends the entire rest of the book still blissfully convinced he's on a package tour. On the sea voyage to northern Africa, he follows every comment by the sergeant with hieroglyphs translating as "Old hairy [body part that rhymes with the sergeant's last word]". When the sergeant tells the legionaries that when they get to port, they'll all get their "tot of rum", he cuts off the obvious follow-up from Ptenisnet by shouting, "And if that Egyptian speaks another hieroglyph I will personally come over there and punch him in the nose!"

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** Anything involving Ptenisnet, the Egyptian tourist drafted into the Roman army who spends the entire rest of the book still blissfully convinced he's on a package tour. On the sea voyage to northern Africa, he follows every comment by the sergeant with hieroglyphs translating as "Old hairy [body part that rhymes with the sergeant's last word]". When the sergeant tells the legionaries that when they get to port, they'll all get their "tot of rum", he cuts off the obvious follow-up from Ptenisnet by shouting, "And if that Egyptian speaks another hieroglyph I will personally come over there and punch throw him in the nose!"overboard!"
6th Apr '15 7:35:42 AM EDP
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* At the start of ''Asterix and Obelix All at Sea'', Caesar swears he'll feed admiral Crustacius to the lions if he can't recover his galley. In the end the galley is destroyed, but Crustacius is now a statue... So Caesar, [[IGaveMyWord who always keeps his word]], ''puts him in the arena as a statue with the caption "In memory of the silliest Sausage in Rome", hoping that one day lions will develop a taste for granite''.
** Also, Cleopatra's face when she asks Caesar about the statue and gets the answer above (Caesar doesn't tell her it's the actual Crustacius transformed in a statue).
23rd Jan '15 7:07:16 AM ZarbiNerada
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** When they're being fitted for their uniforms, Obelix insists he's a medium size. RealityEnsues as his shield goes flying--and strikes Nefarius Purpus in the face.
--->'''Purpus''': *SymbolSwearing in Latin*\\
'''Hemispheric''': *in Proto-Germanic* What did the centurion say?\\
'''Interpreter''': *in Proto-Germanic* He said *SymbolSwearing*.\\
'''Purpus''': *in Latin* What did you say to him?\\
'''Interpreter''': *translates the Swearing back into Latin*
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.Asterix