History Funny / AmericanDad

28th Apr '16 7:28:08 AM xomniac
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* In "Season's Beatings" Roger is making eggnog and tests it out on two rats, one gray and one brown. Upon tasting it the brown rat [[{{Gorn}} rips off the gray rat's head]], licks it, wears it as a hat, runs around, pukes blood, falls over dead, [[MadeOfExplodium then its chest explodes]]. Roger [[GoneHorriblyRight deems the eggnog a success]].

to:

* In "Season's Beatings" Roger is making eggnog and tests it out on two rats, one gray and one brown. Upon tasting it the brown rat [[{{Gorn}} rips off the gray rat's head]], licks makes out with it, wears it as a hat, runs around, pukes blood, falls over dead, [[MadeOfExplodium then its chest explodes]]. Roger [[GoneHorriblyRight deems the eggnog a success]].
22nd Apr '16 10:52:22 PM Vir
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** Stan's horrified reaction when he learns that Francine likes ''John From Cincinnati'' (an obscure HBO show), prefers Lycos as a search engine, and favors the Axis powers when it comes to WorldWarII.

to:

** Stan's horrified reaction when he learns that Francine likes ''John From Cincinnati'' (an obscure HBO show), prefers Lycos as a search engine, and favors the Axis powers when it comes to WorldWarII.UsefulNotes/WorldWarII.
21st Apr '16 12:35:50 AM ParkedCarAnne
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***Roger, dressed like a cowgirl, trying to get on Stan's back and getting thrown off, with Roger crying, "This was supposed to be fun!"



** Stan hiring an attractive male model for the sole purpose to be in the calendar, and the poor guy really wants to be a CIA agent, but whenever he brings Stan any intel, he just goes off on a tangent about how good looking the model is.
** Klaus' "I Killed Two Teenagers" (later changed to three) musical number.

to:

** Stan hiring an attractive male model ([[InkSuitActor modeled after and voiced by]] Tyrese Gibson from the ''Fast and Furious'' movies) for the sole purpose to be in the calendar, and the poor guy really wants to be a CIA agent, but whenever he brings Stan any intel, he just goes off on a tangent about how good looking the model is.
is or dismisses his reports.
** Klaus' "I Killed Two Teenagers" (later changed to three) musical number.number after Hayley's "Good, No Great, No, Good Job" musical gets interrupted.
14th Apr '16 9:04:54 PM Vir
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-->"My eyes!!(runs into door) "My mouth!" (backs into doorknob) "My back!" (looks at dead plant on dresser) "My begonia!" (accidentally turns on radio as it plays the opening of the Knack's song) "My Sharona!" (backs away and turns on TV as Creator/JuliaRoberts appears asking 'Marry me?') "''Film/MyBestFriendsWedding''! (covers eyes) AGH! MY EYES AGAIN!!"

to:

-->"My eyes!!(runs eyes!!" (runs into door) "My mouth!" (backs into doorknob) "My back!" (looks at dead plant on dresser) "My begonia!" (accidentally turns on radio as it plays the opening of the Knack's song) "My Sharona!" (backs away and turns on TV as Creator/JuliaRoberts appears asking 'Marry me?') "''Film/MyBestFriendsWedding''! (covers eyes) AGH! MY EYES AGAIN!!"



-->'''Roger:''' Best buddies?! Can I be your best buddy?
-->'''Stan:''' How do I hang an air freshener on this? You are a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you. *inhales* Ahhhh, mountain pine.

to:

-->'''Roger:''' Best buddies?! Can I be your best buddy?
-->'''Stan:'''
buddy?\\
'''Stan:'''
How do I hang an air freshener on this? You are a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you. *inhales* Ahhhh, mountain pine.



-->'''Haley:''' Ok dad, think. What was the last interaction you had with a black person?
-->'''Stan:''' It was at the T-Mobile store, aaaand it was not positive.

to:

-->'''Haley:''' Ok dad, think. What was the last interaction you had with a black person?
-->'''Stan:'''
person?\\
'''Stan:'''
It was at the T-Mobile store, aaaand it was not positive.



** The sub plot of the drug dealer (warning; this is one big case of ItMakesSenseInContext). A drug dealer offers to buy Steve and his friends beer if they buy him the medicine he needs to make his meth. Steve flirts with an employee named Jenny, gets her address and he gives her back the receipt with his number on it. The drug dealer has [[SuperOCD OCD]] about receipts and forces Steve and his friends to take him to Jenny's house to get the receipt back. The funny part is when they wake her up and she screams, so when the dealer gets his receipt, Jenny's father blows off his head. We are treated to this line.

to:

** The sub plot sub-plot of the drug dealer (warning; this is one big case of ItMakesSenseInContext). A drug dealer offers to buy Steve and his friends beer if they buy him the medicine he needs to make his meth. Steve flirts with an employee named Jenny, gets her address and he gives her back the receipt with his number on it. The drug dealer has [[SuperOCD OCD]] OCD about receipts and forces Steve and his friends to take him to Jenny's house to get the receipt back. The funny part is when they wake her up and she screams, so when the dealer gets his receipt, Jenny's father blows off his head. We are treated to this line.



-->'''Henson:''' Forgive us!
-->'''Kermit:''' You will bow down before me, son of God!

to:

-->'''Henson:''' Forgive us!
-->'''Kermit:'''
us!\\
'''Kermit:'''
You will bow down before me, son of God!



-->'''Stan:''' Okay, I learned my damn lesson, Lewis has my shit and I want it back.
-->'''Roger:''' Not sure you have. You're calling your family shit.

to:

-->'''Stan:''' Okay, I learned my damn lesson, Lewis has my shit and I want it back.
-->'''Roger:'''
back.\\
'''Roger:'''
Not sure you have. You're calling your family shit.



--> '''Steve:''' We don't go blue! That's the lazy man's comedy!
--> '''Snot:''' ''...BALLS!!''
--> '''Steve:''' *chuckles* Maybe we're working too hard.

to:

--> '''Steve:''' -->'''Steve:''' We don't go blue! That's the lazy man's comedy!
-->
comedy!\\
'''Snot:''' ''...BALLS!!''
-->
BALLS!!''\\
'''Steve:''' *chuckles* Maybe we're working too hard.



--> '''Roger''': ''THIS'' is what I'm supposed to play maniacally down in the catacombs?!
--> '''Delivery Man''': Oi, what did you think you were getting for 39.95?
--> '''Roger''': No, no, this is totally unaccep- *hits the drum beat button on the synth* Oh! *plays an electric synth version of the Phantom Of the Opera theme* Yeah, I can work with this.

to:

--> '''Roger''': -->'''Roger''': ''THIS'' is what I'm supposed to play maniacally down in the catacombs?!
-->
catacombs?!\\
'''Delivery Man''': Oi, what did you think you were getting for 39.95?
-->
95?\\
'''Roger''': No, no, this is totally unaccep- *hits the drum beat button on the synth* Oh! *plays an electric synth version of the Phantom Of the Opera theme* Yeah, I can work with this.



--> '''Roger''': STEVE, get back here!! I am TRYING TO DO SOMETHING!!

to:

--> '''Roger''': -->'''Roger''': STEVE, get back here!! I am TRYING TO DO SOMETHING!!



-->'''Klaus:''' What'cha doing?
-->'''Roger:''' Steve texted me a heartwarming photo. (writes I heart Peni on Stan)

to:

-->'''Klaus:''' What'cha doing?
-->'''Roger:'''
doing?\\
'''Roger:'''
Steve texted me a heartwarming photo. (writes I heart Peni on Stan)



-->''[Sergei pushes Stan into the arms of two Soviet guards, who take him in and close the door behind them]''
-->'''American soldier 1:''' Damn it, Stan!
-->'''American soldier 2:''' Every time!

to:

-->''[Sergei pushes Stan into the arms of two Soviet guards, who take him in and close the door behind them]''
-->'''American
them]''\\
'''American
soldier 1:''' Damn it, Stan!
-->'''American
Stan!\\
'''American
soldier 2:''' Every time!



-->'''Steve:''' You made me, Mommy.
-->'''Francine:''' ''(cynical)'' Any dumbass can have dumbass kids.
-->'''Steve:''' ''(gasp)'' Mama, no.

to:

-->'''Steve:''' You made me, Mommy.
-->'''Francine:'''
Mommy.\\
'''Francine:'''
''(cynical)'' Any dumbass can have dumbass kids.
-->'''Steve:'''
kids.\\
'''Steve:'''
''(gasp)'' Mama, no.



--> '''Stan''': My god, a great nation brought down by an army of gardeners and boring people.

to:

--> '''Stan''': -->'''Stan''': My god, a great nation brought down by an army of gardeners and boring people.



-->'''Woman''': Excuse me! Do you know where the Horizon Room is?! We don't know we're from Baltimore!
-->(''Steve points to where it is'')
-->'''Woman''': Thank you! MORTY! IT'S THIS WAY! THE MAN TOLD ME IT'S THIS WAY! '''''YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!'''''
-->'''Morty''': I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!

to:

-->'''Woman''': Excuse me! Do you know where the Horizon Room is?! We don't know we're from Baltimore!
-->(''Steve
Baltimore!\\
(''Steve
points to where it is'')
-->'''Woman''':
is'')\\
'''Woman''':
Thank you! MORTY! IT'S THIS WAY! THE MAN TOLD ME IT'S THIS WAY! '''''YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!'''''
-->'''Morty''':
WAY!'''''\\
'''Morty''':
I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!



-->'''Roger:''' "Samantha's story got me thinking. If I fell, would Big be there to catch me?"
-->''[Stan screams in anger]''

to:

-->'''Roger:''' "Samantha's story got me thinking. If I fell, would Big be there to catch me?"
-->''[Stan
me?"\\
''[Stan
screams in anger]''



-->'''Stan:''' (attempting to escape Francine but she crashes her car into his) Francine?! You T-boned me, bro!!
-->'''Francine:''' (later) I can't deal with you now Steve; you are SO. FRUSTRATING. I'm gonna drive down to SeaWorld and punch a dolphin in the face. (drives away in still-smashed car)

to:

-->'''Stan:''' (attempting to escape Francine but she crashes her car into his) Francine?! You T-boned me, bro!!
-->'''Francine:'''
bro!!\\
'''Francine:'''
(later) I can't deal with you now Steve; you are SO. FRUSTRATING. I'm gonna drive down to SeaWorld and punch a dolphin in the face. (drives away in still-smashed car)



-->'''Jack:''' You did what?!
-->'''Stan:''' I released Krampus! I just wanted him to set Steve straight!
-->'''Jack:''' ''SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS NOT A CHOICE!!!!''
-->'''Stan:''' (blink) What?

to:

-->'''Jack:''' You did what?!
-->'''Stan:'''
what?!\\
'''Stan:'''
I released Krampus! I just wanted him to set Steve straight!
-->'''Jack:'''
straight!\\
'''Jack:'''
''SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS NOT A CHOICE!!!!''
-->'''Stan:'''
CHOICE!!!!''\\
'''Stan:'''
(blink) What?



-->'''Klaus:''' Elsa was my first love. We met in university.
-->'''Roger:''' You mean you met in ''college.'' You're in the States now. Say it the right way.
-->'''Klaus:''' So Elsa and I met ''AT. UNIVERSITY.''
-->'''Roger:''' [[LargeHam OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH I HATE IT!!]]

to:

-->'''Klaus:''' Elsa was my first love. We met in university.
-->'''Roger:'''
university.\\
'''Roger:'''
You mean you met in ''college.'' You're in the States now. Say it the right way.
-->'''Klaus:'''
way.\\
'''Klaus:'''
So Elsa and I met ''AT. UNIVERSITY.''
-->'''Roger:'''
''\\
'''Roger:'''
[[LargeHam OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH I HATE IT!!]]
14th Apr '16 8:47:34 PM Vir
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** Stan helps Steve get into the Student Body Election by calming the nerdy girl running for it is a whore that's sleeping with the Jack in The Box mascot, showing a clearly photo-shopped picture of her and her together in bed to the other students shock and disgust. Steve [[CompletelyMissingThePoint asks if that's really the Jack in the Box Mascot]], which Stan answers it is, saying he has his trapped in the basement. Then it cuts to Roger opening the basement door, finding the Jack in The Box mascot bound and gagged naked, both screaming at the sight.

to:

** Stan helps Steve get into the Student Body Election by calming the nerdy girl running for it is a whore that's sleeping with the Jack in The Box mascot, showing a clearly photo-shopped picture of her and her together in bed to the other students shock and disgust. Steve [[CompletelyMissingThePoint [[ComicallyMissingThePoint asks if that's really the Jack in the Box Mascot]], which Stan answers it is, saying he has his trapped in the basement. Then it cuts to Roger opening the basement door, finding the Jack in The Box mascot bound and gagged naked, both screaming at the sight.



--> '''Francine''': Oh Stan, that was just sex. Sex without love is meaningless!
--> '''Stan''': Francine, I'm looking into your eyes, I'm listening to you speak, but all I can see is you taking more poundings than Omaha Beach before the ground assault began.

to:

--> '''Francine''': -->'''Francine''': Oh Stan, that was just sex. Sex without love is meaningless!
-->
meaningless!\\
'''Stan''': Francine, I'm looking into your eyes, I'm listening to you speak, but all I can see is you taking more poundings than Omaha Beach before the ground assault began.



--> '''Stan''': This midnight fishing is great!
--> '''Bullock''': Sounds to me that someone doesn't want to go home.
--> '''Stan''': Yeah, I'm laying low. Today is the anniversary of a ''huge'' fight me and Francine got into last year.
--> '''Jackson''': Yeah? What about?
--> '''Stan''': [[ForgottenAnniversary Oh, I forgot our anniversary.]] [[WhatAnIdiot Ha, I'm never gonna do that again!]]
--> ''[Jackson tries to say something, but is stopped by Bullock. Stan throws his line out, and drinks from his beer.]''
--> '''Stan''': (beat) [[OhCrap AUUUGH!]]
--> '''Bullock''': There it is.

to:

--> '''Stan''': -->'''Stan''': This midnight fishing is great!
-->
great!\\
'''Bullock''': Sounds to me that someone doesn't want to go home.
-->
home.\\
'''Stan''': Yeah, I'm laying low. Today is the anniversary of a ''huge'' fight me and Francine got into last year.
-->
year.\\
'''Jackson''': Yeah? What about?
-->
about?\\
'''Stan''': [[ForgottenAnniversary Oh, I forgot our anniversary.]] [[WhatAnIdiot Ha, I'm never gonna do that again!]]
-->
again!]]\\
''[Jackson tries to say something, but is stopped by Bullock. Stan throws his line out, and drinks from his beer.]''
-->
]''\\
'''Stan''': (beat) [[OhCrap AUUUGH!]]
-->
AUUUGH!]]\\
'''Bullock''': There it is.
13th Apr '16 4:35:37 AM Vir
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* In "Rough Trade", Roger backing into the TV and causing to fall. Then he attempted to give it CPR and got electrocuted. Another funny moment is when he crashed into a convey of cars.

to:

* In "Rough Trade", Roger backing into the TV and causing to fall. Then he attempted to give it CPR and got electrocuted. Another funny moment is when he crashed into a convey convoy of cars.
13th Apr '16 4:34:48 AM Vir
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* Stan getting beat up by an inflatable man on "Love, AD Style."

to:

* Stan getting beat up by an inflatable man on "Love, AD Style."Style".
10th Apr '16 9:19:04 AM Baby_Moondancer
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** The reason for Sergei's grudge against the U.S? After the fall of communism, Sergei's wife ran off with a tennis equipment salesman from West Berlin, and his beloved son became an entrepenur - who sells ''halloween costumes for dogs''.

to:

** The reason for Sergei's grudge against the U.S? After the fall of communism, Sergei's wife ran off with a tennis equipment salesman from West Berlin, and his beloved son became an entrepenur entrepeneur - who sells ''halloween ''Halloween costumes for dogs''.
29th Mar '16 6:15:20 PM Kartoonkid95
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Added DiffLines:

** The regressed Hayley jumping into Stan's arms, causing him to collapse with a broken back.
-->'''Stan:''' My back! It's the L-5! Must...get to...Vicodin stash.
24th Mar '16 12:44:58 PM SilentStranger
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** Director Bullock on steroids (the same ones approved by the people behind ''MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge'') for the calendar. Stan explains to Hayley that they have to shoot his July picture first so they can let him loose in the woods to work off his roid rage.

to:

** Director Bullock on steroids (the same ones approved by the people behind ''MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge'') for the calendar. Stan explains to Hayley that they have to shoot his July picture first so they can let him loose in the woods to work off his roid rage. Later on, Hayley has to chase him down to retake his photos, and he actually is out in the woods, where he proceeds to tear Jeff in half.
** Stan hiring an attractive male model for the sole purpose to be in the calendar, and the poor guy really wants to be a CIA agent, but whenever he brings Stan any intel, he just goes off on a tangent about how good looking the model is.
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