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Changed line(s) 110 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Connie''': [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness The earth ''does'' revolve around the sun, Eugene!]]
to:
-->'''Connie''': [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness The earth ''does'' does revolve around the sun, Eugene!]]
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Changed line(s) 107 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eugene''': Impossible! [[HypocritcalHumor Prepositions are not words that I end sentences with.]] Oops.
to:
-->'''Eugene''': Impossible! [[HypocritcalHumor [[HypocriticalHumor Prepositions are not words that I end sentences with.]] Oops.
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* In "Poor Loser", Eugene surprisingly loses so many chess games to Bernard that he ''starts to have a nervous breakdown'', which culminates in Whit and Connie checking up on him at his dorm.
-->'''Connie''': ''What happened'' to you?
-->'''Whit''': Have you slept at all?
-->'''Connie''': Have you ''showered''?
-->'''Eugene''': I've done both, actually. Though I can't remember when or where.
-->'''Whit''': Well, what in the world are you ''doing'', Eugene?
-->'''Eugene''': Uh... research.
-->'''Connie''': Looks to me like you're watching TV. What a minute, that's you and Bernard. Oh, look, and there's me! Ugh, why did I have to wear ''that'' sweater?
-->'''Whit''': You videotaped your chess game?
-->'''Eugene''': I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. He's beaten me in ''six consecutive games''.
-->'''Connie''': Did he know you were taping him?
-->'''Eugene''': ''Yes''. In fact, you'll notice every one in a while he'll lean into the camera and sing ''"My Darling Clementine!"'' I turned the sound down.
-->'''Whit''': Eugene... you really need to let this go.
-->'''Connie''': ''Yeah''.
-->'''Eugene''': But Mr. Whittaker, I just can't understand it. How does he keep beating me? Look! ''Look!'' Watch this move, right here! He's gonna move knight to rook four, ''for no reason at all!'' ''There!'' Did you see that?
-->'''Whit''': Well-
-->'''Eugene''': He has no apparent strategy! It's as if he's moving his pieces completely at random! And somehow he consistently ''stumbles'' upon victory!
-->'''Whit''': ''Eugene!''
-->'''Eugene''': There are times when I'm convinced this is a game he doesn't know the ''rules for!''
-->'''Connie''': *gasps* [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness Eugene, you just ended a sentence with a preposition!]]
-->'''Eugene''': Impossible! [[HypocritcalHumor Prepositions are not words that I end sentences with.]] Oops.
-->'''Whit''': Eugene... I think you need to get some ''sleep''.
-->'''Eugene''': You don't seem to understand, the world no longer makes sense! Today, Bernard Walton beats ''me'' at chess, tomorrow the earth will revolve around the ''sun!''
-->'''Connie''': [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness The earth ''does'' revolve around the sun, Eugene!]]
-->'''Eugene''': ''AAAAAH!''
-->'''Whit''': W-why don't we just turn this off.
-->'''Eugene''': No, wait, watch this move. He'll move bishop to rook three. There! I seriously think he made that move ''simply to form the letter 'M' with his pieces!''
-->'''Whit''': 'It's bed time, Eugene.''
-->'''Connie''': Do you think we should carry him?
-->'''Connie''': ''What happened'' to you?
-->'''Whit''': Have you slept at all?
-->'''Connie''': Have you ''showered''?
-->'''Eugene''': I've done both, actually. Though I can't remember when or where.
-->'''Whit''': Well, what in the world are you ''doing'', Eugene?
-->'''Eugene''': Uh... research.
-->'''Connie''': Looks to me like you're watching TV. What a minute, that's you and Bernard. Oh, look, and there's me! Ugh, why did I have to wear ''that'' sweater?
-->'''Whit''': You videotaped your chess game?
-->'''Eugene''': I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. He's beaten me in ''six consecutive games''.
-->'''Connie''': Did he know you were taping him?
-->'''Eugene''': ''Yes''. In fact, you'll notice every one in a while he'll lean into the camera and sing ''"My Darling Clementine!"'' I turned the sound down.
-->'''Whit''': Eugene... you really need to let this go.
-->'''Connie''': ''Yeah''.
-->'''Eugene''': But Mr. Whittaker, I just can't understand it. How does he keep beating me? Look! ''Look!'' Watch this move, right here! He's gonna move knight to rook four, ''for no reason at all!'' ''There!'' Did you see that?
-->'''Whit''': Well-
-->'''Eugene''': He has no apparent strategy! It's as if he's moving his pieces completely at random! And somehow he consistently ''stumbles'' upon victory!
-->'''Whit''': ''Eugene!''
-->'''Eugene''': There are times when I'm convinced this is a game he doesn't know the ''rules for!''
-->'''Connie''': *gasps* [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness Eugene, you just ended a sentence with a preposition!]]
-->'''Eugene''': Impossible! [[HypocritcalHumor Prepositions are not words that I end sentences with.]] Oops.
-->'''Whit''': Eugene... I think you need to get some ''sleep''.
-->'''Eugene''': You don't seem to understand, the world no longer makes sense! Today, Bernard Walton beats ''me'' at chess, tomorrow the earth will revolve around the ''sun!''
-->'''Connie''': [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness The earth ''does'' revolve around the sun, Eugene!]]
-->'''Eugene''': ''AAAAAH!''
-->'''Whit''': W-why don't we just turn this off.
-->'''Eugene''': No, wait, watch this move. He'll move bishop to rook three. There! I seriously think he made that move ''simply to form the letter 'M' with his pieces!''
-->'''Whit''': 'It's bed time, Eugene.''
-->'''Connie''': Do you think we should carry him?
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Changed line(s) 86 (click to see context) from:
** It gets even better when the two of them perform their play in front of an audience, only for Bernard to deliberately go off-script and start plugging his janitor business. Edwin panics and tries to pull Bernard behind the stage curtain... only for it to collapse on top of them in front of a hysterically laughing audience. And the cherry on top? The drama critic that Edwin was trying to impress actually ''approves'' of their hilariously failed performance because it was ''that'' funny.
to:
** It gets even better when the two of them perform their play in front of an audience, only for Bernard to deliberately go off-script and start plugging his janitor business. Edwin panics and tries to pull Bernard behind the stage curtain... only for it to collapse on top of them in front of a hysterically laughing audience. And the cherry on top? The drama critic that Edwin was trying to impress actually ''approves'' of their hilariously failed performance because thinking it was ''that'' funny.an purposeful comedy. (And Bart's customers start going back to Bernard's services too, meaning both men got what they wanted in spite of their hijinks.)
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** It gets even better when the two of them perform their play in front of an audience, only for Bernard to deliberately go off-script and start plugging his janitor business. Edwin panics and tries to pull Bernard behind the stage curtain... only for it to collapse on top of them in front of a hysterically laughing audience. And the cherry on top? The drama critic that Edwin was trying to impress actually ''approves'' of their hilariously failed performance because it was ''that'' funny.
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* "My Fair Bernard" revolves around Bernard trying to make an advertisement to compete against Bart's janitor service while Edwin wants to earn a good review from a drama critic. The two of them end up working together to make a stage-play about Bernard's life calling as a janitor, their improvised brainstorming session is golden.
-->'''Edwin''': Think, Bernard, think! Let your mind dwell on the swirling sea of humanity.
-->'''Bernard''': The swirling...
-->'''Edwin''': The great unwashed masses that populate our teaming plains.
-->'''Bernard''': Unwashed masses...
-->'''Edwin''': Their stories go untold. Their songs unsung! And yet, if we were to just listen closely, what would we hear?
-->'''Bernard''': Huh?
-->'''Edwin''': You're story, Bernard, tell me your story.
-->'''Bernard''': Uh, from the beginning?
-->'''Edwin''': Yes!
-->'''Bernard''': Ah, well... I was born.
-->'''Edwin''': Born! ''Born!'' Your father, was he wealthy?
-->'''Bernard''': Eh, no. No, no, he was a janitor.
-->'''Edwin''': Aha! He was born a popper to a pawn, with a... squeegee in his hand! What is your earliest memory? Quickly!
-->'''Bernard''': The... I-I remember...
-->'''Edwin''': Yes! Yes!
-->'''Bernard''': I remember... dust.
-->'''Edwin''': Dust? Dust! ''Dust!'' Yes! As the dust turns to dust, the dust from whence his life began, became the dust of his livelihood!
-->'''Bernard''': It did?
-->'''Edwin''': Yes! Floating particles, suspended in mid-air, swept away by your might! Powerless against your influence!
-->'''Bernard''': They are...
-->'''Edwin''': Yes, and the great sea of humanity, those unwashed masses, felt themselves ''cleansed'' at your touch! Their dirt and filth caught in the great, swirling undertow of the drain called, ''conscience!''
-->'''Bernard''': And... and I unstopped that drain!
-->'''Edwin''': ''Yes! Yes!''
-->'''Bernard''': And, and... and then I knew what my life calling would be.
-->'''Edwin''': That's right! To rise from the dust! Break through the clog! Stand unflappable! And proudly declare...
-->'''Bernard''': ''I. Am. Janitor!'''
-->'''Edwin''': Think, Bernard, think! Let your mind dwell on the swirling sea of humanity.
-->'''Bernard''': The swirling...
-->'''Edwin''': The great unwashed masses that populate our teaming plains.
-->'''Bernard''': Unwashed masses...
-->'''Edwin''': Their stories go untold. Their songs unsung! And yet, if we were to just listen closely, what would we hear?
-->'''Bernard''': Huh?
-->'''Edwin''': You're story, Bernard, tell me your story.
-->'''Bernard''': Uh, from the beginning?
-->'''Edwin''': Yes!
-->'''Bernard''': Ah, well... I was born.
-->'''Edwin''': Born! ''Born!'' Your father, was he wealthy?
-->'''Bernard''': Eh, no. No, no, he was a janitor.
-->'''Edwin''': Aha! He was born a popper to a pawn, with a... squeegee in his hand! What is your earliest memory? Quickly!
-->'''Bernard''': The... I-I remember...
-->'''Edwin''': Yes! Yes!
-->'''Bernard''': I remember... dust.
-->'''Edwin''': Dust? Dust! ''Dust!'' Yes! As the dust turns to dust, the dust from whence his life began, became the dust of his livelihood!
-->'''Bernard''': It did?
-->'''Edwin''': Yes! Floating particles, suspended in mid-air, swept away by your might! Powerless against your influence!
-->'''Bernard''': They are...
-->'''Edwin''': Yes, and the great sea of humanity, those unwashed masses, felt themselves ''cleansed'' at your touch! Their dirt and filth caught in the great, swirling undertow of the drain called, ''conscience!''
-->'''Bernard''': And... and I unstopped that drain!
-->'''Edwin''': ''Yes! Yes!''
-->'''Bernard''': And, and... and then I knew what my life calling would be.
-->'''Edwin''': That's right! To rise from the dust! Break through the clog! Stand unflappable! And proudly declare...
-->'''Bernard''': ''I. Am. Janitor!'''
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* The AffectionateParody of {{chick flick}}s in "Eggshells". It contains completely ludicrous plot details ([[NoodleImplements that we are never given context for]]) and obvious {{Narm}}, and yet it brings June and later Connie to tears every time. Even Whit is completely blunt about his feelings about it afterward:
-->'''Connie''': You know, this isn't such a bad movie.\\
'''June''': (''in tears'') It's ''beautiful!''\\
'''Connie''': Whit, do you need a tissue?\\
'''Whit''': No, more like a bucket.\\
'''Connie''': Why?\\
'''Whit''': That was the most ridiculous movie I've ever seen!\\
'''June''': It didn't make you want to open your heart and share your soul?\\
'''Whit''': It made me want to hit my head on something very hard and erase all memories of my life for the past two hours.
-->'''Connie''': You know, this isn't such a bad movie.\\
'''June''': (''in tears'') It's ''beautiful!''\\
'''Connie''': Whit, do you need a tissue?\\
'''Whit''': No, more like a bucket.\\
'''Connie''': Why?\\
'''Whit''': That was the most ridiculous movie I've ever seen!\\
'''June''': It didn't make you want to open your heart and share your soul?\\
'''Whit''': It made me want to hit my head on something very hard and erase all memories of my life for the past two hours.
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* "The Big Deal: Part 2": This episode, the second half of an episode where Aubrey Shepard (upset after her parents - relatively new Christians at this time - object to her performing as the lead in a play that they felt denigrated Christianity and threatened to quit their position on the theater's staff) took an [[AdventuresInTheBible Imagination Station adventure]] to the time of John the Baptist. Upon meeting Salome, the daughter of Herodias who - under orders from Herodias - [[TroublingUnchildlikeBehavior performs a sensuous dance]] and is rewarded with having, again per orders from Herodias, John the Baptist beheaded; Aubrey witnesses Salome dancing and knocking over a vase; with [[LittleMissSnarker Aubrey]] noting Salome danced like a klutz. The humorous part is that [[TheDitz Salome]] thinks Aubrey gave her a compliment.
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Changed line(s) 256,257 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Bernard''': Aww, don't wreck it with a song!\\
--> ''(everyone begins to disperse, much to Eugene's annoyance)''\\
--> ''(everyone begins to disperse, much to Eugene's annoyance)''\\
to:
--> '''Bernard''': Aww, don't wreck it with a song!\\
song!
--> ''(everyone begins to disperse, much to Eugene'sannoyance)''\\annoyance)''
--> ''(everyone begins to disperse, much to Eugene's
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[[AC:Radio Series]]
Changed line(s) 247 (click to see context) from:
* In Part 8 of "The Green Ring Conspiracy", Eugene is tasked with getting a saliva sample from Buck Oliver. Naturally, he makes it significantly harder by way of SuspiciouslySpecificDenial and being incredibly overbearing.
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* In Part 8 of "The Green Ring Conspiracy", Eugene is tasked with getting a saliva sample from Buck Oliver. Naturally, he makes it significantly harder by way of SuspiciouslySpecificDenial and being incredibly overbearing.ActingUnnatural.
Changed line(s) 249 (click to see context) from:
** And after he is just about ready to give up, Katrina comes in and... [[ShaggyDogStory she merely tells him to spit out his toothpick.]]
to:
** And after he is just about ready to give up, Katrina comes in and... [[ShaggyDogStory she merely tells him to spit out his toothpick.]]]]
[[AC:Video Series]]
* Eugene's AmusingInjuries at the end of "A Flight to the Finish", where he accidentally backs into a wheelchair and goes crashing down the hospital stairs...as the camera pans out to a sign reading "[[{{Irony}} QUIET, HOSPITAL]]".
* When Eugene gives a rather emotional speech at the end of "The Last Days of Eugene Meltsner", moving everyone to tears in the process, he then proceeds to pull out his ukelele, immediately [[MoodWhiplash scaring everyone away.]]
--> '''Bernard''': Aww, don't wreck it with a song!\\
--> ''(everyone begins to disperse, much to Eugene's annoyance)''\\
--> '''Eugene''': Wait! Councilman Beasley! Friends! Citizens of Odyssey! ...[[EtTuBrute Mr. Whittaker?!]]
[[AC:Other Media (Podcasts, interviews, etc)]]
* [[https://youtu.be/87kSyNMMss8?t=4679 The making-of feature supplied with the AIO 3-D CD-ROM]] is...something else, to put it simply. Yes, seriously, a behind the scenes feature being laugh-out-loud worthy sounds silly, but somehow they did it:
** Will Ryan hiding in a dark room, very clearly doing his Eugene voice and claiming he "can't tell you who it is", and ''immediately'' EmergingFromTheShadows to claim it's Eugene.
** Phil Lollar talking about how he gets what he needs out of the actors, and claiming that if all else fails, he can just hit them upside the head with a blunt object.
** Katie Leigh sitting with her two then-small children and repeatedly asking who their favorite character is, and getting no answer. After asking ''four times'' and gritting through her teeth in annoyance, her son ''finally'' relents and points to her.
--> '''Katie Leigh''': [[SarcasmMode Thanks a lot!]]
** When Bob Luttrell is going over all the knobs and buttons in the sound booth, he finishes off by saying the most important button is the one on the phone, "[[SkewedPriorities because that'll get us pizza in about five minutes.]]"
** The ''entire'' segment on the sound studio. All of it. No description can do it justice. Chuck Bolte walking near by and having sounds played as he does so, much to his confusion, already makes it funny enough, but then comes an over-the-top EvilGenius parody where the sound engineers cook up a way to bring sound into their world.
** And of course, the HilariousOuttakes aren't to be missed either.
--> '''Mark Drury''': Another important element... (Beat) ...is [[LiteralMinded magnesium!]] It's a great element!
[[AC:Video Series]]
* Eugene's AmusingInjuries at the end of "A Flight to the Finish", where he accidentally backs into a wheelchair and goes crashing down the hospital stairs...as the camera pans out to a sign reading "[[{{Irony}} QUIET, HOSPITAL]]".
* When Eugene gives a rather emotional speech at the end of "The Last Days of Eugene Meltsner", moving everyone to tears in the process, he then proceeds to pull out his ukelele, immediately [[MoodWhiplash scaring everyone away.]]
--> '''Bernard''': Aww, don't wreck it with a song!\\
--> ''(everyone begins to disperse, much to Eugene's annoyance)''\\
--> '''Eugene''': Wait! Councilman Beasley! Friends! Citizens of Odyssey! ...[[EtTuBrute Mr. Whittaker?!]]
[[AC:Other Media (Podcasts, interviews, etc)]]
* [[https://youtu.be/87kSyNMMss8?t=4679 The making-of feature supplied with the AIO 3-D CD-ROM]] is...something else, to put it simply. Yes, seriously, a behind the scenes feature being laugh-out-loud worthy sounds silly, but somehow they did it:
** Will Ryan hiding in a dark room, very clearly doing his Eugene voice and claiming he "can't tell you who it is", and ''immediately'' EmergingFromTheShadows to claim it's Eugene.
** Phil Lollar talking about how he gets what he needs out of the actors, and claiming that if all else fails, he can just hit them upside the head with a blunt object.
** Katie Leigh sitting with her two then-small children and repeatedly asking who their favorite character is, and getting no answer. After asking ''four times'' and gritting through her teeth in annoyance, her son ''finally'' relents and points to her.
--> '''Katie Leigh''': [[SarcasmMode Thanks a lot!]]
** When Bob Luttrell is going over all the knobs and buttons in the sound booth, he finishes off by saying the most important button is the one on the phone, "[[SkewedPriorities because that'll get us pizza in about five minutes.]]"
** The ''entire'' segment on the sound studio. All of it. No description can do it justice. Chuck Bolte walking near by and having sounds played as he does so, much to his confusion, already makes it funny enough, but then comes an over-the-top EvilGenius parody where the sound engineers cook up a way to bring sound into their world.
** And of course, the HilariousOuttakes aren't to be missed either.
--> '''Mark Drury''': Another important element... (Beat) ...is [[LiteralMinded magnesium!]] It's a great element!
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** When Penny and Connie are in the Imagination Station, Connie shows off some of its capability by tap-dancing. The live version of the episode has the sound designer do some ''actual'' tap-dancing. After getting a round of applause, Penny asks if the Imagination Station could give her the capability to perform a ridiculously elaborate and dangerous stunt. The sound designer shrugs, clearly refusing to take part in it, and Connie claims [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall maybe it's not quite that capable.]]
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Changed line(s) 245 (click to see context) from:
-->''Eugene promptly [[FreakOut loses his mind.]]''
to:
-->''Eugene promptly [[FreakOut loses his mind.]]'']]''
* In Part 8 of "The Green Ring Conspiracy", Eugene is tasked with getting a saliva sample from Buck Oliver. Naturally, he makes it significantly harder by way of SuspiciouslySpecificDenial and being incredibly overbearing.
--> '''Eugene''': '''''TRY THE LEMONADE!''''' (pounds fist on the table)
** And after he is just about ready to give up, Katrina comes in and... [[ShaggyDogStory she merely tells him to spit out his toothpick.]]
* In Part 8 of "The Green Ring Conspiracy", Eugene is tasked with getting a saliva sample from Buck Oliver. Naturally, he makes it significantly harder by way of SuspiciouslySpecificDenial and being incredibly overbearing.
--> '''Eugene''': '''''TRY THE LEMONADE!''''' (pounds fist on the table)
** And after he is just about ready to give up, Katrina comes in and... [[ShaggyDogStory she merely tells him to spit out his toothpick.]]
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Changed line(s) 47,52 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' ''[assigning the kids to give oral reports on their summer vacations]'' Since you came late and have a torn dress, I want you to go first, Laura.\\
'''Leslie:''' I'm Leslie, so you must mean "Lisa."\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' I know what I mean! Stand up and tell the class what you did this summer!\\
'''Leslie:''' Um, well...\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' GET ON WITH IT!\\
'''Leslie:''' Well, we sort of just... hung out.\\
'''Leslie:''' I'm Leslie, so you must mean "Lisa."\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' I know what I mean! Stand up and tell the class what you did this summer!\\
'''Leslie:''' Um, well...\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' GET ON WITH IT!\\
'''Leslie:''' Well, we sort of just... hung out.\\
to:
'''Leslie:''' I'm Leslie, so you must mean "Lisa."\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' I know what I mean! Stand up and tell the class what you did this summer!\\
'''Leslie:''' Um, well...\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' GET ON WITH IT!\\
'''Leslie:'''
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Changed line(s) 59 (click to see context) from:
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' [[BigWhat '''WHAAAAAT'''?!!!!]] Listen here, young lady, your homework tonight is [[WritingLines to write the words "I will make better use of my time"]] 220,000 times! And DON'T EVEN THINK OF CHEATING, BECAUSE I'LL COUNT EACH AND EVERY ONE! SIT DOWN AND DON'T START WHIMPERING!!!!!\\
to:
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' [[BigWhat '''WHAAAAAT'''?!!!!]] WHAAAAAT?!!!!]] Listen here, young lady, your homework tonight is [[WritingLines to write the words "I will make better use of my time"]] 220,000 times! And DON'T EVEN THINK OF CHEATING, BECAUSE I'LL COUNT EACH AND EVERY ONE! SIT DOWN AND DON'T START WHIMPERING!!!!!\\
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* Leslie's (exaggerated) account of her first day of sixth grade in "Back to School." Most amusing is her depiction of her teacher, Mr. Garrison, whom she refers to as "[[SadistTeacher Mr. Gutwrench]]".
-->'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' ''[assigning the kids to give oral reports on their summer vacations]'' Since you came late and have a torn dress, I want you to go first, Laura.\\
'''Leslie:''' I'm Leslie, so you must mean "Lisa."\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' I know what I mean! Stand up and tell the class what you did this summer!\\
'''Leslie:''' Um, well...\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' GET ON WITH IT!\\
'''Leslie:''' Well, we sort of just... hung out.\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' WHAT? You mean to tell me that you had a total of 84 days summer vacation and all you did was ''hang out''?\\
'''Leslie:''' Well...\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' In approximately 2,016 hours all you could manage to do was ''HANG OUT''?\\
'''Leslie:''' I mean...\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' You're saying that in 120,960 minutes that your brain cells had a chance to work, all you could think to do was '''HANG OUT'''?!?!?!\\
'''Leslie:''' ''[weakly]'' Uh... sometimes we went out for ice cream.\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' [[BigWhat '''WHAAAAAT'''?!!!!]] Listen here, young lady, your homework tonight is [[WritingLines to write the words "I will make better use of my time"]] 220,000 times! And DON'T EVEN THINK OF CHEATING, BECAUSE I'LL COUNT EACH AND EVERY ONE! SIT DOWN AND DON'T START WHIMPERING!!!!!\\
'''Leslie:''' Yes, Mr. Gutwrench.\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' Now, who's next? And I mean it. One of you had better have won the Nobel Peace Prize this summerrrrrr!
-->'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' ''[assigning the kids to give oral reports on their summer vacations]'' Since you came late and have a torn dress, I want you to go first, Laura.\\
'''Leslie:''' I'm Leslie, so you must mean "Lisa."\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' I know what I mean! Stand up and tell the class what you did this summer!\\
'''Leslie:''' Um, well...\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' GET ON WITH IT!\\
'''Leslie:''' Well, we sort of just... hung out.\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' WHAT? You mean to tell me that you had a total of 84 days summer vacation and all you did was ''hang out''?\\
'''Leslie:''' Well...\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' In approximately 2,016 hours all you could manage to do was ''HANG OUT''?\\
'''Leslie:''' I mean...\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' You're saying that in 120,960 minutes that your brain cells had a chance to work, all you could think to do was '''HANG OUT'''?!?!?!\\
'''Leslie:''' ''[weakly]'' Uh... sometimes we went out for ice cream.\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' [[BigWhat '''WHAAAAAT'''?!!!!]] Listen here, young lady, your homework tonight is [[WritingLines to write the words "I will make better use of my time"]] 220,000 times! And DON'T EVEN THINK OF CHEATING, BECAUSE I'LL COUNT EACH AND EVERY ONE! SIT DOWN AND DON'T START WHIMPERING!!!!!\\
'''Leslie:''' Yes, Mr. Gutwrench.\\
'''Mr. Gutwrench:''' Now, who's next? And I mean it. One of you had better have won the Nobel Peace Prize this summerrrrrr!
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* From "Do, for a Change," then-new Christian Eugene's first attempt at saying a blessing before eating at Connie's Bible study.
-->'''Eugene:''' Dearest Elohim: We know that you were with the army of Jehoshaphat in 2nd Chronicles 20: 1 and following, and when he prepared his army to battle the Ammonites, which were of a great multitude, you told them not to fear; and though the Hebrew is slightly ambiguous in a few of the verses in this passage, we know you tell us the same. And we remember this today when we battle the Ammonites of anxiety, the Jebusites of injustice, the Perizzites of pride and yea, the Syrians of sinfulness. Glorious Yahweh, we see in Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians how he uses eschatological references as the basis for hope that determines the nature of daily life, and in a sense, we should do the same. And we ask these things in the name of our precious Redeemer and Savior, Jesu Christe, Emmanu-el, i.e. “God with us.” Amen.\\
'''Jack:''' O-kaaaaay. I guess that qualifies as a blessing.
-->'''Eugene:''' Dearest Elohim: We know that you were with the army of Jehoshaphat in 2nd Chronicles 20: 1 and following, and when he prepared his army to battle the Ammonites, which were of a great multitude, you told them not to fear; and though the Hebrew is slightly ambiguous in a few of the verses in this passage, we know you tell us the same. And we remember this today when we battle the Ammonites of anxiety, the Jebusites of injustice, the Perizzites of pride and yea, the Syrians of sinfulness. Glorious Yahweh, we see in Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians how he uses eschatological references as the basis for hope that determines the nature of daily life, and in a sense, we should do the same. And we ask these things in the name of our precious Redeemer and Savior, Jesu Christe, Emmanu-el, i.e. “God with us.” Amen.\\
'''Jack:''' O-kaaaaay. I guess that qualifies as a blessing.
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Changed line(s) 219 (click to see context) from:
** During the story, Jason periodically shows up to ask if he's needed. At one point he gets hit on the head with ''The Mortal Coil'' and quips that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself]]" with Whit saying that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself either!]]"
to:
** During the story, Jason periodically shows up to ask if he's needed. At one point he gets hit on the head with ''The Mortal Coil'' and quips that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself]]" with Whit saying that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself either!]]"either!]]"
** "[[INeedToGoIronMyDog Now, someone needs to watch the counter, and uh...I think it's me.]]"
** Wooton gives us a few gems:
*** "[[ItMakesSenseInContext The teeth, the lips, the tip of the tongue. The teeth, the lips, the tip of the tongue.]]"
*** "Hellloooo nurse! It's time for WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}!"
*** "[[InnocentlyInsensitive Wow, you sound like an expensive vacuum cleaner.]]"
** Early in the story, Eugene warns Matthew about the horrors that could befall them should a mysterious red button be pushed. However...
-->'''Eugene''': Matthew, think it through. What if the button is not properly programmed and I simply push it, like this ''pushes button'' and it wreaks havoc on the entire system.
-->''{{Beat}} as mysterious mechanical noises start to be heard.''
-->'''Eugene''': What's that noise?
-->'''Matthew''': It started when you [[UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom pushed the button]].
-->'''Eugene''': Oh, well...[[OhCrap I PUSHED THE BUTTON?! WHAT?!]]
-->''Eugene promptly [[FreakOut loses his mind.]]''
** "[[INeedToGoIronMyDog Now, someone needs to watch the counter, and uh...I think it's me.]]"
** Wooton gives us a few gems:
*** "[[ItMakesSenseInContext The teeth, the lips, the tip of the tongue. The teeth, the lips, the tip of the tongue.]]"
*** "Hellloooo nurse! It's time for WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}!"
*** "[[InnocentlyInsensitive Wow, you sound like an expensive vacuum cleaner.]]"
** Early in the story, Eugene warns Matthew about the horrors that could befall them should a mysterious red button be pushed. However...
-->'''Eugene''': Matthew, think it through. What if the button is not properly programmed and I simply push it, like this ''pushes button'' and it wreaks havoc on the entire system.
-->''{{Beat}} as mysterious mechanical noises start to be heard.''
-->'''Eugene''': What's that noise?
-->'''Matthew''': It started when you [[UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom pushed the button]].
-->'''Eugene''': Oh, well...[[OhCrap I PUSHED THE BUTTON?! WHAT?!]]
-->''Eugene promptly [[FreakOut loses his mind.]]''
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Changed line(s) 219 (click to see context) from:
** During the story, Jason periodically shows up to ask if he's needed. At one point he gets hit with ''The Mortal Coil'' and quips that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself]]" with Whit saying that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself either!]]"
to:
** During the story, Jason periodically shows up to ask if he's needed. At one point he gets hit on the head with ''The Mortal Coil'' and quips that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself]]" with Whit saying that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself either!]]"
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Changed line(s) 217 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Connie''': [[VitriolicBestBuds Barely!]]
to:
--> '''Connie''': [[VitriolicBestBuds Barely!]]Barely!]]
* There's also the live version of ''Push the Red Button'' (which, unlike previous live shows, also had a studio version) which has it's fair share [[SelfParody self-referential]] humor and is even DenserAndWackier than ''I Slap Floor''!
** During the story, Jason periodically shows up to ask if he's needed. At one point he gets hit with ''The Mortal Coil'' and quips that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself]]" with Whit saying that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself either!]]"
* There's also the live version of ''Push the Red Button'' (which, unlike previous live shows, also had a studio version) which has it's fair share [[SelfParody self-referential]] humor and is even DenserAndWackier than ''I Slap Floor''!
** During the story, Jason periodically shows up to ask if he's needed. At one point he gets hit with ''The Mortal Coil'' and quips that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself]]" with Whit saying that "[[TheOtherDarrin he didn't sound like himself either!]]"
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Added DiffLines:
* "Sunday Morning Scramble" is quite possibly the most hilariously relatable episode in the entire series, especially for anyone whose family has ever had an extremely hectic morning getting ready for school, church, vacation, or whatnot like the Washingtons do here. Highlights include the camaraderie between the family as the chaos escalates, Bart Rathbone running amok through the house, and [[NoodleIncident the snowflakes]].
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Changed line(s) 8,9 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Connie:''' He took that better than I thought.
-->-cue [[LargeHam Eugene screaming from the other room]] and running off-
-->-cue [[LargeHam Eugene screaming from the other room]] and running off-
to:
-->'''Connie:''' He took that better than I thought.
-->-cuethought.\\
-cue [[LargeHam Eugene screaming from the other room]] and running off-
-->-cue
-cue [[LargeHam Eugene screaming from the other room]] and running off-
Changed line(s) 11,12 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Connie:''' Would I snoop around in something that wasn't mine?
-->'''Eugene:''' In a ''heartbeat''.
-->'''Eugene:''' In a ''heartbeat''.
to:
-->'''Connie:''' Would I snoop around in something that wasn't mine?
-->'''Eugene:'''mine?\\
'''Eugene:''' In a ''heartbeat''.
-->'''Eugene:'''
'''Eugene:''' In a ''heartbeat''.
Changed line(s) 14,15 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Eugene:''' My pilgrimage will be to...there!
-->'''Bernard:''' That's the sign for the women's room.
-->'''Bernard:''' That's the sign for the women's room.
to:
-->'''Eugene:''' My pilgrimage will be to...there!
-->'''Bernard:'''there!\\
'''Bernard:''' That's the sign for the women's room.
-->'''Bernard:'''
'''Bernard:''' That's the sign for the women's room.
Changed line(s) 17,22 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Connie:''' Well, maybe "terrible" is too strong a word.
-->'''Eugene:''' "Wholly inadequate" is a description.
-->'''Connie:''' "Awful", maybe—
-->'''Eugene:''' "Amateurish".
-->'''Connie:''' "Ugly".
-->'''Eugene:''' "Not suitable for public exposure".
-->'''Eugene:''' "Wholly inadequate" is a description.
-->'''Connie:''' "Awful", maybe—
-->'''Eugene:''' "Amateurish".
-->'''Connie:''' "Ugly".
-->'''Eugene:''' "Not suitable for public exposure".
to:
-->'''Connie:''' Well, maybe "terrible" is too strong a word.
-->'''Eugene:'''word.\\
'''Eugene:''' "Wholly inadequate" is adescription.
-->'''Connie:'''description.\\
'''Connie:''' "Awful",maybe—
-->'''Eugene:''' "Amateurish".
-->'''Connie:''' "Ugly".
-->'''Eugene:'''maybe—\\
'''Eugene:''' "Amateurish".\\
'''Connie:''' "Ugly".\\
'''Eugene:''' "Not suitable for public exposure".\\
-->'''Eugene:'''
'''Eugene:''' "Wholly inadequate" is a
-->'''Connie:'''
'''Connie:''' "Awful",
-->'''Eugene:''' "Amateurish".
-->'''Connie:''' "Ugly".
-->'''Eugene:'''
'''Eugene:''' "Amateurish".\\
'''Connie:''' "Ugly".\\
'''Eugene:''' "Not suitable for public exposure".\\
Changed line(s) 25,26 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Mustafa:''' Now why would a toy shop need a subsonic transmitter?
-->'''Tasha Forbes:''' ...It's cheaper than direct dialing?
-->'''Tasha Forbes:''' ...It's cheaper than direct dialing?
to:
-->'''Mustafa:''' Now why would a toy shop need a subsonic transmitter?
-->'''Tashatransmitter?\\
'''Tasha Forbes:''' ...It's cheaper than direct dialing?
-->'''Tasha
'''Tasha Forbes:''' ...It's cheaper than direct dialing?
Changed line(s) 28,32 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Dern''': This is Cryin' Bryan Dern goin' into my 95th hour of being on the air. Whaddaya wanna do? Maybe I should play a song. Uh...here's one. I can't tell you what it is, because my contact lenses have become a permanent part of my eyeballs and...everything's kinda blurry. I can't seem to get this disk in the player. Forget it. Maybe I should sing a little song...I'll do a little song that my mother used to sing...wow. I never knew my thumb could do this. I know. Let's have a moment of silence for...somebody. Are we at war or anything? Give me some ideas people, will...yes, we have a caller. We have a caller! You're on the air.
---> '''Caller''': Yes, my hamster's been kind of sick lately.
---> '''Dern''': Perfect. What's your hamster's name?
---> '''Caller''': Binky.
---> '''Dern''': Great! Let's have about an hour of silence for Binky. Wake me up when you're done.
---> '''Caller''': Yes, my hamster's been kind of sick lately.
---> '''Dern''': Perfect. What's your hamster's name?
---> '''Caller''': Binky.
---> '''Dern''': Great! Let's have about an hour of silence for Binky. Wake me up when you're done.
to:
--->
'''Caller''': Yes, my hamster's been kind of sick
--->
'''Dern''': Perfect. What's your hamster's
--->
'''Caller''':
--->
'''Dern''': Great! Let's have about an hour of silence for Binky. Wake me up when you're done.
Changed line(s) 34,37 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Dern''': "Okay, we still don't have a winner in the 'What is He Saying' contest, I'll play the clip again."
---> Singer (played by music director John Campbell) sings gibberish[[note]]Campbell later admitted in the February 10, 2010 edition of ''The Official Adventures in Odyssey Podcast'' that he had forgotten what he sang [[/note]].
---> '''Dern''': "What is he saying?"
---> '''Caller''': "I think he said, '[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext The monkey man has no place in the circle of confusion']]?"
---> Singer (played by music director John Campbell) sings gibberish[[note]]Campbell later admitted in the February 10, 2010 edition of ''The Official Adventures in Odyssey Podcast'' that he had forgotten what he sang [[/note]].
---> '''Dern''': "What is he saying?"
---> '''Caller''': "I think he said, '[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext The monkey man has no place in the circle of confusion']]?"
to:
--->
Singer (played by music director John Campbell) sings
--->
'''Dern''': "What is he
--->
'''Caller''': "I think he said, '[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext The monkey man has no place in the circle of confusion']]?"
Changed line(s) 44,46 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Jared''': Don't you think it's a scam? Who does this? Rides a bike across the country. What if there's a thunderstorm?
---> '''Whit''': Well, I imagine he takes shelter when he needs to.
---> '''Jared''': I'll tell you what he does. After he bikes through the city, he rides the next 100 miles in an air conditioned camper. Until he gets to the next city. Everybody thinks he's out there working and sweating. When he's really sitting on an exercise bike while he watches TV and eats fig bars!!!!
---> '''Whit''': Well, I imagine he takes shelter when he needs to.
---> '''Jared''': I'll tell you what he does. After he bikes through the city, he rides the next 100 miles in an air conditioned camper. Until he gets to the next city. Everybody thinks he's out there working and sweating. When he's really sitting on an exercise bike while he watches TV and eats fig bars!!!!
to:
--->
'''Whit''': Well, I imagine he takes shelter when he needs
--->
'''Jared''': I'll tell you what he does. After he bikes through the city, he rides the next 100 miles in an air conditioned camper. Until he gets to the next city. Everybody thinks he's out there working and sweating. When he's really sitting on an exercise bike while he watches TV and eats fig bars!!!!
Changed line(s) 48,50 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Jared''': In 1984, the president got on TV. He said children are getting smarter and smarter and soon they'll be smarter than us. So from now on, we'll teach 'em lies. Everyone thought it was a great idea and they've been teaching kids wrong stuff ever since.
---> '''Sarah''': You're a sad little boy.
---> '''Jared''': And you're just as ignorant as the rest of the youth of America.
---> '''Sarah''': You're a sad little boy.
---> '''Jared''': And you're just as ignorant as the rest of the youth of America.
to:
'''Sarah''': You're a sad little
--->
'''Jared''': And you're just as ignorant as the rest of the youth of America.
Changed line(s) 52,56 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Chris:''' I can un-perk it!
-->[Beep.]
-->'''Chris:''' (in a seething monotone) Watch ''this'' unperkiness. [[OpeningNarration Hi. This is Chris. Welcome to-]]
-->'''Director:''' Oh, please.
-->[Chris laughs]
-->[Beep.]
-->'''Chris:''' (in a seething monotone) Watch ''this'' unperkiness. [[OpeningNarration Hi. This is Chris. Welcome to-]]
-->'''Director:''' Oh, please.
-->[Chris laughs]
to:
-->'''Chris:''' I can un-perk it!
-->[Beep.]
-->'''Chris:'''it!\\
[Beep.]\\
'''Chris:''' (in a seething monotone) Watch ''this'' unperkiness. [[OpeningNarration Hi. This is Chris. Welcometo-]]
-->'''Director:'''to-]]\\
'''Director:''' Oh,please.
-->[Chrisplease.\\
[Chris laughs]
-->[Beep.]
-->'''Chris:'''
[Beep.]\\
'''Chris:''' (in a seething monotone) Watch ''this'' unperkiness. [[OpeningNarration Hi. This is Chris. Welcome
-->'''Director:'''
'''Director:''' Oh,
-->[Chris
[Chris laughs]
Changed line(s) 58,60 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Doris Rathbone:''' Y'know, Bart, we oughta get home, too. We ain't done nothin' to protect our house!
-->'''Bart:''' There's no protectin' our house as long as Rodney is livin' there.
-->'''Rodney:''' Thanks, pop!
-->'''Bart:''' There's no protectin' our house as long as Rodney is livin' there.
-->'''Rodney:''' Thanks, pop!
to:
-->'''Doris Rathbone:''' Y'know, Bart, we oughta get home, too. We ain't done nothin' to protect our house!
-->'''Bart:'''house!\\
'''Bart:''' There's no protectin' our house as long as Rodney is livin'there.
-->'''Rodney:'''there.\\
'''Rodney:''' Thanks, pop!
-->'''Bart:'''
'''Bart:''' There's no protectin' our house as long as Rodney is livin'
-->'''Rodney:'''
'''Rodney:''' Thanks, pop!
Changed line(s) 62,63 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Customer:''' 'Scuse me, you the manager?
-->'''Bart:''' It depends.
-->'''Bart:''' It depends.
to:
-->'''Customer:''' 'Scuse me, you the manager?
-->'''Bart:'''manager?\\
'''Bart:''' It depends.
-->'''Bart:'''
'''Bart:''' It depends.
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** The sheer level of [[SelfParody self-referential humor]] that gets thrown around, especially in regards to Eugene and Connie falling for each other.
** "Look, Mr. Whittaker, I pierced my own ears just like you told me to!"
** "Look, Mr. Whittaker, I pierced my own ears just like you told me to!"
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* "Bad Luck": Robyn's dream while recuperating at home after her bicycle crash... at least at first. What's particularly funny about it is the listener isn't aware it's a dream at first, but it becomes obvious once events take a turn for the bizarre, including Robyn's father nailing a horseshoe above the door to the bedroom - without taking it off the horse.
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Changed line(s) 209 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Winston Bassett:''' If I had a sucker, I'd give it to you.
to:
-->'''Winston Bassett:''' If I had a sucker, I'd give it to you.you.
* In one episode, "Hold Up", a man holds Connie and Eugene at gunpoint to rob Whit's End. After a bit of snarking between the pair, the gunman states
--> '''Hank Murray''': [[BelligerentSexualTension Boy, you two were made for each other.]]
--> '''Eugene''': [[MistakenForRomance We're]] [[JustFriends just friends, actually.]]
--> '''Connie''': [[VitriolicBestBuds Barely!]]
* In one episode, "Hold Up", a man holds Connie and Eugene at gunpoint to rob Whit's End. After a bit of snarking between the pair, the gunman states
--> '''Hank Murray''': [[BelligerentSexualTension Boy, you two were made for each other.]]
--> '''Eugene''': [[MistakenForRomance We're]] [[JustFriends just friends, actually.]]
--> '''Connie''': [[VitriolicBestBuds Barely!]]
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Added another line from Top This!
Changed line(s) 37 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Caller''': "I think he said, '[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext The monkey man has no place in the circle of confusion'?"
to:
---> '''Caller''': "I think he said, '[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext The monkey man has no place in the circle of confusion'?"confusion']]?"
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Added another line from Top This!
Added DiffLines:
** Earlier in the same episode, we get this sequence.
---> '''Dern''': "Okay, we still don't have a winner in the 'What is He Saying' contest, I'll play the clip again."
---> Singer (played by music director John Campbell) sings gibberish[[note]]Campbell later admitted in the February 10, 2010 edition of ''The Official Adventures in Odyssey Podcast'' that he had forgotten what he sang [[/note]].
---> '''Dern''': "What is he saying?"
---> '''Caller''': "I think he said, '[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext The monkey man has no place in the circle of confusion'?"
---> '''Dern''': "Okay, we still don't have a winner in the 'What is He Saying' contest, I'll play the clip again."
---> Singer (played by music director John Campbell) sings gibberish[[note]]Campbell later admitted in the February 10, 2010 edition of ''The Official Adventures in Odyssey Podcast'' that he had forgotten what he sang [[/note]].
---> '''Dern''': "What is he saying?"
---> '''Caller''': "I think he said, '[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext The monkey man has no place in the circle of confusion'?"
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Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
* From "Tornado":
to:
* From "Tornado":"Tornado!":
Added DiffLines:
** Also from "Tornado!", one of the most quintessential Bart lines:
-->'''Customer:''' 'Scuse me, you the manager?
-->'''Bart:''' It depends.
-->'''Customer:''' 'Scuse me, you the manager?
-->'''Bart:''' It depends.
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Changed line(s) 126 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Sarah:''' I knew it. Too many video games. Turns your brain into macaroni and cheese.
to:
-->'''Sarah:''' Yup. I knew it.it'd happen sooner or later. Too many video games. Turns your brain into macaroni and cheese.
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* "Break A Leg" is a ''gold mine''. Cal Jordan accidentally crashes his bike into Walter Shakespeare and breaks Shakespeare's leg, leaving him bedridden and unable to assemble the bike race he and Edwin are putting on to promote the Harlequin Theatre, and it could not be plainer that Edwin is nigh-incapable of functioning on his own:
-->'''Edwin:''' Precisely how ''do'' you call a cab, Shakespeare?
-->'''Shakespeare:''' ...With the phone, sir.
-->'''Edwin''' (on the phone): No, no, no, I'm not performing. ...Well, you don't have to sound so ''pleased!''
-->'''Edwin:''' I, on the other hand, may need weeks of recovery—not to mention shock therapy.
** He has to ''ask Cal how to run a stopwatch''.
-->'''Cal:''' Is there anything else?
-->'''Edwin:''' Well...since you're on a roll...how are you with, say...microwave ovens?
** At the very beginning, as Edwin bemoans the Harlequin's lack of clientele:
-->'''Edwin:''' Today my soliloquy was interrupted ''three times'' by someone snoring. And I'd swear it sounded as if it came from backstage.
-->'''Shakespeare''' (flustered): Really? Uh...the acoustics can be very deceptive, sir.
*** He also apparently once performed a scene from ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'' for Shakespeare in the Park while a boombox thudded in the background and found himself ''rapping'' the "to be or not to be" soliloquy.
--->'''Shakespeare:''' It...drew a crowd, sir.
--->'''Edwin:''' Only because I threw out my back doing the hand gestures!
** How hilariously plain it is that Cryin' Bryan Dern might prefer any number of excruciating tortures than to be covering this bike race.
-->"Edwin Blackgaard, the organizer of the race, looks like he's doing the death scene from ''Theatre/RichardIII''. Or maybe he always looks that way."
-->"What could be better than dozens of kids riding their bikes over a nearly impossible track to win a new bike? [indistinguishable muttering] Oh! And a pass to the Harlequin! Other than waiting for my Aunt Edna's varicose veins to heal, I can't think of a thing."
*** Midway through the race:
--->"I see two cyclists who have taken the lead. It's, uh...one kid and another kid."
-->'''Edwin:''' Precisely how ''do'' you call a cab, Shakespeare?
-->'''Shakespeare:''' ...With the phone, sir.
-->'''Edwin''' (on the phone): No, no, no, I'm not performing. ...Well, you don't have to sound so ''pleased!''
-->'''Edwin:''' I, on the other hand, may need weeks of recovery—not to mention shock therapy.
** He has to ''ask Cal how to run a stopwatch''.
-->'''Cal:''' Is there anything else?
-->'''Edwin:''' Well...since you're on a roll...how are you with, say...microwave ovens?
** At the very beginning, as Edwin bemoans the Harlequin's lack of clientele:
-->'''Edwin:''' Today my soliloquy was interrupted ''three times'' by someone snoring. And I'd swear it sounded as if it came from backstage.
-->'''Shakespeare''' (flustered): Really? Uh...the acoustics can be very deceptive, sir.
*** He also apparently once performed a scene from ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'' for Shakespeare in the Park while a boombox thudded in the background and found himself ''rapping'' the "to be or not to be" soliloquy.
--->'''Shakespeare:''' It...drew a crowd, sir.
--->'''Edwin:''' Only because I threw out my back doing the hand gestures!
** How hilariously plain it is that Cryin' Bryan Dern might prefer any number of excruciating tortures than to be covering this bike race.
-->"Edwin Blackgaard, the organizer of the race, looks like he's doing the death scene from ''Theatre/RichardIII''. Or maybe he always looks that way."
-->"What could be better than dozens of kids riding their bikes over a nearly impossible track to win a new bike? [indistinguishable muttering] Oh! And a pass to the Harlequin! Other than waiting for my Aunt Edna's varicose veins to heal, I can't think of a thing."
*** Midway through the race:
--->"I see two cyclists who have taken the lead. It's, uh...one kid and another kid."
Changed line(s) 109,115 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Ricky''' (placing an order): Non-fat, non-sweetened yogurt with tofu-based chocolate sauce and two organic boysenberries on top!
-->'''Bernard:''' Sounds about as appetizing as cardboard.
-->'''Ricky:''' Oh, it has taste beyond what you could expect!
-->'''Bernard:''' Oh, really good cardboard, then.
-->'''Connie''' (considering taking up personal health training): Maybe that's something I should look into; I'm pretty health-conscious!
to:
-->'''Connie'''Maybe that's something I should look into; I'm pretty health-conscious!
Changed line(s) 120 (click to see context) from:
to:
** Connie trying to convince Bernard to lose weight:
Changed line(s) 127 (click to see context) from:
to:
** Throughout the various [[TrainingMontage training montages]]:
Changed line(s) 143 (click to see context) from:
-->[Bernard and Wooton plan a diversion to steal some brownies]
to:
** When [[spoiler:Whit, surprisingly, fails to lose all the weight, but]] the three decide to continue on the diet regimens:
Changed line(s) 167 (click to see context) from:
* In "The Taming of the Two", Edwin Blackgaard's New England Shakespeare tour was cancelled, and he gives the reason why only he has returned to Odyssey:
to:
* In "The Taming of the Two", Edwin Blackgaard's New England Shakespeare tour was cancelled, and he gives the reason why only he has returned to Odyssey:Odyssey without Shakespeare:
Added DiffLines:
* This exchange from "Bernard and Saul":
-->'''Bernard:''' Well, that wasn't the end of Saul's story, but do you get the point by now?
-->'''Trent:''' Yeah! [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Cut off the bad guy's head when God says to!]]
-->'''Bernard:''' Exactly, d—[[DoubleTake no!]] Try again.
-->'''Trent:''' Don't throw spears at harpists?
-->'''Bernard:''' Well, that wasn't the end of Saul's story, but do you get the point by now?
-->'''Trent:''' Yeah! [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Cut off the bad guy's head when God says to!]]
-->'''Bernard:''' Exactly, d—[[DoubleTake no!]] Try again.
-->'''Trent:''' Don't throw spears at harpists?
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* * Near the end of the otherwise emotional episode "Connie", when Connie returns to Whit's End, we hear in passing how the Bible Room has been empty ever since Eugene (newly arrived and still getting used to working here) added a display depicting the Spanish Inquisition.
to:
Added DiffLines:
* From "Tornado":
-->'''Doris Rathbone:''' Y'know, Bart, we oughta get home, too. We ain't done nothin' to protect our house!
-->'''Bart:''' There's no protectin' our house as long as Rodney is livin' there.
-->'''Rodney:''' Thanks, pop!
-->'''Doris Rathbone:''' Y'know, Bart, we oughta get home, too. We ain't done nothin' to protect our house!
-->'''Bart:''' There's no protectin' our house as long as Rodney is livin' there.
-->'''Rodney:''' Thanks, pop!
