History FanFic / PartiallyKissedHero

The story is set at the very beginning of ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban'', and immediately [[AlternateUniverse deviates from the storyline]] when Harry is partially kissed by the Dementor aboard the Hogwarts Express, prompting his soul to absorb the fragment Voldemort created inside him. Oh, and Dumbledore [[RonTheDeathEater is evil]].

* AllGaysArePedophiles: Apparently all pureblood men are fond of pederasty, [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]] and [[TakeOurWordForIt even worse perversions]], such that they still didn’t bed their wives even after a potion was developed that [[AllWomenAreLustful vastly amplified a woman’s sex drive]] [[SingleTargetSexuality for her husband and her husband only]]. Not only is [[RonTheDeathEater Dumbledore]] a pedophile, but he even hung out with [[spoiler: Lucius Malfoy and the Lestrange brothers]] over their common love of raping little boys.

* BigBadWannabe: Voldemort. He is resurrected by [[RonTheDeathEater Dumbledore]] to be used as a scapegoat. He fights [[ButtMonkey Dumbledore]] but [[spoiler:loses badly, being forced to submit]], and when he [[spoiler:seizes political power, he can't keep what he conquers and his followers start turning on him]].

* SoulJar: Unlike in canon, where horcruxes are rare artifacts that [[EvenEvilHasStandards even most dark wizards don't mess with]], here they're much more common and seem like a standard part of a dark wizard's repertoire. In addition to Voldemort's canonical horcruxes, Snape has at least one, [[RonTheDeathEater Moody]] has three, [[spoiler: Grindelwald]] has an unknown number, and Dumbledore has ''thirteen.''

* NoWomansLand: In this version of the wizarding world, forced marriages and breeding contracts are the norm and can be inflicted even upon children. It gets even worse once [[spoiler:Voldemort takes over]], and passes a law requiring all women to be pregnant at all times. Incredibly, this passes with overwhelming popular support, despite a clause stipulating that if a family lacks daughters, one of their sons can be turned into a girl and made a BreedingSlave anyway, meaning that even a hardcore misogynist would be insane to support this initiative. Even worse, it's the one law of the villains the protagonists never make an attempt to stop.

** In a later chapter, Harry mentions Website/{{eBay}}, a website that wouldn't be around for two years and wouldn't be named that for another two.

** There’s a whole chapter devoted to how absolutely disgusting vampires are, and how people who think they are sexy are TooDumbToLive, mostly because the author has read the ''Literature/{{Dracula}}'' novel and is fed up with ''Literature/{{Twilight}}''.

** Dumbledore is supposedly extremely powerful, but is reduced to being a ButtMonkey often. One of his few moments of shown competence is him humiliating Voldemort into submission while [[OffscreenMomentOfAwesome explaining how he manipulated him and set up his rise to power]]. Of course, the author had to ruin it by [[ShowDontTell telling the audience the purpose is indeed The Worf Effect.]]

* WorfHadTheFlu: This trope might as well be called "Dumbledore Has Malaclaw Venom". Without the venom, he actually manages to [[TeamRocketWins beat Harry and his harem and capture them for a little while.]] [[spoiler: Ironically, he is still defeated by pure luck when he does so.]]

* GroinAttack: [[DoubleSubversion Doubly subverted]]: Trelawney thinks of castrating [[spoiler:Snape with his mother's waffle iron when he is three, but doesn't go through with it because she realizes that would be wrong]]. However, after encountering him again when [[spoiler:he's eight, she actually does it]]. [[MoralMyopia The reader is supposed to root for her.]]

* InsuranceFraud: Harry takes out some implicitly very expensive life insurance policies on the Dursleys, then uses a combination of fake documents and the Confundus Charm to make the insurance company believe they've had them for years. After that, he fakes their deaths so that he can collect on the policies.

*** Dumbledore is supposed to be a very threatening enemy, worse than Voldemort. In practice, he is a ButtMonkey.

* TheStraightAndArrowPath: {{Enforced}} to make the story more of a HighFantasy; Harry and his wives take up the longbow as their preferred weapon and much exposition is given as to why Lionheart considers them a superior weapon to modern firearms.
* TooCleverByHalf: Dumbledore is fooled by the "Colonel Sanders" bluff because he thinks the perpetrator is a Dark Lord just like him, hiding behind a fast food mascot and just being very subtle. He also thinks of too many possibilities before he acts, becoming vulnerable to biltzkrieg tactics. While in practice that makes him a fool, he is intended to be this trope with these excuses.

** Chapter 97 establishes that the entirety of the British magical economy relies on Dumbledore's smuggled goods to function, because his laws have put so many restrictions on manufacturing or importing goods that it is literally impossible to buy, sell, or otherwise acquire literally anything legitimately. Somehow this utter stranglehold on supply hasn't encouraged a single other smuggler to go into business nor created a black market.

* IdiotBall: Everyone aside from Harry and his thralls is forced to hold this, making for an IdiotPlot.
** Nobody sees through the enemy bluffs. Ever. Dumbledore fails to realize that there is no Dark Lord Colonel Sanders even after [[spoiler: he unmasks Harry, which takes way too long]]. However, [[spoiler: Harry fails to see through a decoy Dumbledore uses the one time he is a threat. Finally, Voldemort fails to see through the bluffs of [[SparedByTheAdaptation James]] during the final assault on Godric's Hollow.]]

* MoralMyopia: Draco and the Dursleys are condemned to horrific, torturous futures for crimes largely invented on the part of the author and whose only canonical misdeeds would be being jerks. Dumbledore gets it even worse, being ruthlessly villainized for keeping Snape in his job and believing, with good reason, that Harry must sacrifice himself to stop Voldemort for good. Bellatrix, however, has her actions excused with the reasoning that she did them to sate a misguided love to Voldemort she hoped would be returned.

* NoWomansLand: In this version of the wizarding world, forced marriages and breeding contracts are the norm and can be inflicted even upon children. It gets even worse once [[spoiler:Voldemort takes over]], and passes a law requiring all women to be pregnant at all times. Incredibly, this passes with overwhelming popular support, despite a clause stipulating that if a family lacks daughters, one of their sons can be turned into a girl and made a BreedingSlave anyway, meaning that even a hardcore misogynist would be insane to support this initiative.

* RougeAnglesOfSatin: [[AvertedTrope Remarkably infrequent]], given both the size of the story and the fact that [[SturgeonsLaw it’s fanfiction]]. The number of mistakes increases drastically in the last third of the story.

* ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve: The fairies’ greatest weakness is that if enough humans believe something about them, it becomes true [[CosmicRetcon regardless of whether the fairies want it]]. Naturally, Harry and company abuse this to turn him into an even bigger GaryStu than he already is.

* NoWomansLand: In this version of the wizarding world, forced marriages and breeding contracts are the norm and can be inflicted even upon children. It gets [[UpToEleven even worse]] once [[spoiler:Voldemort takes over]], and passes a law requiring all women to be pregnant at all times. Incredibly, this passes with overwhelming popular support, despite a clause stipulating that if a family lacks daughters, one of their sons can be turned into a girl and made a BreedingSlave anyway, meaning that even a hardcore misogynist would be insane to support this initiative.

* OnlySaneMan: ''Luna'' is apparently this compared to the rest of her family, particularly Grandmother [[Literature/AlicesAdventuresInWonderland Alice]] who at this point operates more under Wonderland logic than Earth logic. This is kind of awkward, too, because from an objective standpoint Luna is by far the most merciless and vicious character in the entire story, more so than any of the {{Designated Villain}}s or [[SociopathicHero Harry]] himself. Her first important act after tagging along with Harry is [[spoiler:committing the premeditated murder of her uncle in cold blood]] without any remorse or second thoughts, [[MagnificentBastard all while]] [[spoiler:making it look like a suicide]]. [[TroublingUnchildlikeBehavior She is twelve years old]], and has ''not'' absorbed a soul fragment from a mass murderer. The one time that Harry thinks that he has gone too far and begins to feel a little remorse, Luna talks him out of it and [[CorruptionByAMinor convinces him he did nothing wrong]] in defiance of all common sense.

* MoralDissonance: Harry’s actions include [[spoiler:MindRape and enslavement]]. Despite this, he is depicted as the unquestionable good guy. Though he throws up in disgust and have to be comforted by Luna after [[spoiler:he has a particularly thorough torture session with the Dursleys]], he makes no attempt to lessen their suffering or even tone down his actions, suggesting [[IgnoredEpiphany he learns nothing]].

* ShowyInvincibleHero [[note]]or [[MoralDissonance villain]] as per your view of Harry[[/note]]: It is incredibly obvious as early as Chapter 15 that Dumbledore will be no match for Harry and company. The rest of the story is just seeing how it plays out.
* SmugSnake: Dumbledore, in private or before he Obliviates someone. Harry as well, though this is ignored because [[MoralDissonance he’s the “hero”]].

* EunuchsAreEvil: This story states that Voldemort sacrificed his sex organs in a Dark ritual to make himself ageless.

* AllGaysArePedophiles: Apparently all pureblood men are fond of pederasty, [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]] and [[TakeOurWordForIt even worse perversions]], such that they still didn’t bed their wives even after a potion was developed that [[AllWomenAreLustful vastly amplified a woman’s sex drive]] [[SingleTargetSexuality for her husband and her husband only]]. Not only is [[RonTheDeathEater Dumbledore]] a pedophile, but he even hung out with [[spoiler: Lucius Malfoy and the Lestranges]] over their common love of raping little boys.

* AnArmAndALeg: Inflicted by [[spoiler:a time-traveling Trelawney on Tobias Snape, accidentally]].

** The narration references ''TabletopGame/{{Paranoia}}'' at one point by comparing the surveillance systems at Hogwarts to those of Alpha Complex, while taking the perspective of Dumbledore, who's noted to have never even heard of the game. You figure that one out.

*** Luna is supposed to be merely pretending she's insane. In practice, she sees no difference between things and people.

** Hermione goes from being TheSmartGuy of the trio in canon to being completely ignorant of basic facts about the wizarding world and needing Harry and/or Luna to explain everything about the way things ''really'' are to her (at least in the first half of the fic; once Susan and Hannah are added to Harry's harem, they take over a large portion of the duties of receiving exposition).

** Voldemort in canon is the BigBad; here, he's a BigBadWannabe and an off-page character for most of the fic.. [[spoiler:When he's finally revived, he is easily defeated by a villain less competent than his canonical self, and though he does eventually conquer wizarding Britain, his reign starts to fall apart almost immediately due to his own incompetence in a way it never did in canon.]]

* BigBadDuumvirate: Late in the fic, Dumbledore allies with [[spoiler: Gellert Grindelwald]] seemingly as equal partners. However, the fic ends a few chapters later before much can be done with this element.

* DemotedToExtra: Several characters who appear in major roles in the original canon are much less prominent in this fic:
** Canonically, Voldemort is the BigBad. Here, while he's still one of the fic's major villains (along with Dumbledore) he is [[BigBadWannabe by far the lesser threat of the two]] and spends the first three-quarters of the fic entirely off-page, with only a few appearances afterwards.

** Lucius Malfoy, one of the most prominent villains in canon, is killed off before the fic is even a quarter done.
** Cornelius Fudge is sacked as Minister in chapter two and immediately shuffled out of the fic, only making a token appearance later near the end. The same is true of his staff, including Umbridge.

* {{Ghostapo}}: As revealed late in the fic, apparently in this version Grindelwald wasn't just the wizarding equivalent of Hitler, but he and his followers were literally members of the Nazi party! Exactly how this worked isn't really explained.

* MesACrowd: Due to his repeated deaths and Harry's machinations, partway through the fic several of Dumbledore's safeguards activate at once resulting in three copies of him running around at the same time. [[AbortedArc Nothing much comes of this]].

* PlotArmor: Quite a baffling example. The fic spends 70-odd chapters buffing up its protagonists with every defense imaginable, going above and beyond what would be reasonable, and then sharing those buffs among its entire heroic cast, in preparation for a final confrontation with Dumbledore the author does not ever actually write due to the fic dying before being finished.

* SoulJar: Unlike in canon, where horcruxes are rare artifacts that [[EvenEvilHasStandards even most dark wizards don't mess with]], in this fic they're much more common and seem like a standard part of a dark wizard's repertoire. In addition to Voldemort's canonical horcruxes, Snape has at least one, [[RonTheDeathEater Moody]] has three, [[spoiler: Grindelwald]] has an unknown number, and Dumbledore has ''thirteen.''

* EvilIsPetty: Dumbledore, ''in spades''. For just one example, he buys his clothes using money he steals from orphans, despite being [[Fiction500 ludicrously wealthy]] in his own right.

** Nobody sees through the enemy bluffs. Ever. Dumbledore fails to realize that there is no Dark Lord Colonel Sanders even after [[spoiler: he unmasks Harry, which takes way too long]]. However, [[spoiler: Harry fails to see through a decoy Dumbledore uses the one time he is a threat. Finally, Voldemort fails to see through the bluffs of [[SparedByTheAdaptation James.]]]]

** In general, Lionheart has a tendency to hype his villains up heavily, only to have his heroes effortlessly defeat them shortly afterwards, leading this to happen a lot. Also victims of it are vampires, who are described as devastatingly powerful when first introduced, only for them to start getting mowed down in droves a few chapters later accompanied by [[AuthorFillibuster extended explanations]] of how vampires suck, actually.

* AlwaysChaoticEvil: Unlike in canon, goblins are depicted as being, without exception, inherently cruel and malicious, to the point that they [[InformedAttribute allegedly]] kidnap and torture human children for fun.

* InformedAbility: Dumbledore, who is supposed to be a greater threat to Harry than Voldemort and the most powerful, dangerous and informed wizard on the planet, is fooled into believing that a “Colonel Sanders” and other Muggle advertisement icons are actually Dark wizards working to undermine his power. He is stated to be incredibly intelligent, but even when not under the influence of Malaclaw venom acts like a moron. Only a handful of times does he ever display that informed competence, and even then his few victories are mostly irrelevant in the long term.

* AuthorFilibuster: Every chapter has at least one of these, consisting of long, ''long'' lectures, sometimes delivered by the characters, sometimes in the author's own voice, on a wide variety of topics including magic, worldbuilding, characters, economics, real-world politics, etc.. Some chapters are nothing ''but'' these, delivered directly to the reader without even the veneer of it being a character in the story speaking. [[SignatureStyle This is a trademark of Ornstead’s writing.]]

* FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse: In Chapter 71, Trelawney's InnerMonologue states (and the author's note agrees) that Snape's less-than-stellar background doesn't give him license to bully his students. Ultimately, the time-travel subplot heavily implies that Snape was just born evil and would have become evil no matter the circumstnaces of his life [[spoiler: which makes it okay for Trelawney to torture him even though this version of him hasn't done anything that bad yet]].

* AlwaysChaoticEvil: Unlike in canon, goblins are depicted as being, without exception, inherently cruel and malicious, to the point that they [[InformedAttribtue allegedly]] kidnap and torture human children for fun.