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** He subsequently decides against saying 9 because he was afraid of having to contend with a similar reaction from those who have experienced childbirth.
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* SpellingBee: The first half of his "Stupid in School" skit centers around one of these.
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Changed line(s) 14 (click to see context) from:
* AccentOnTheWrongSyllable: He thinks being told he pronounces words incorrectly is just the epi-TOME of hyper-BOWL.
to:
* AccentOnTheWrongSyllable: AccentUponTheWrongSyllable: He thinks being told he pronounces words incorrectly is just the epi-TOME of hyper-BOWL.
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* AccentOnTheWrongSyllable: He thinks being told he pronounces words incorrectly is just the epi-TOME of hyper-BOWL.
Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
%% * BookDumb: Brian and the Guy Against Reading.
to:
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adding an example
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* TelevisionIsTryingToKillUs: Brian talking about Gentle Ben, and how is a horrible lesson "bears are friendly" is.
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* BaitAndSwitch: In ''Stupid In School'', after Brian as a kid has already already answered incorrectly in class that the plural of "box" is "boxen".
to:
* BaitAndSwitch: In ''Stupid In School'', after Brian as a kid has already already answered incorrectly in class that the plural of "box" is "boxen".
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Changed line(s) 5,6 (click to see context) from:
-->-- Brivolbn7q Regan
to:
-->-- Brivolbn7q [=Brivolbn7q=] Regan
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Changed line(s) 28 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Brian''': (''pretending reading a pamphlet'') Number one: Do not stand directly in front of a cannon. How true that is!
to:
--> '''Brian''': (''pretending reading to read from a pamphlet'') Number one: Do not stand directly in front of a cannon. How true that is!
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Changed line(s) 28 (click to see context) from:
'''Brian''': (''pretending reading a pamphlet'') Number one: Do not stand directly in front of a cannon. How true that is!
to:
--> '''Brian''': (''pretending reading a pamphlet'') Number one: Do not stand directly in front of a cannon. How true that is!
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Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
* CaptainObvious: "Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is."
to:
* CaptainObvious: "Do Discussed when he talked about telling his doctor that he suffered from heartburn, and his doctor's only response was to give him a pamphlet on the common causes of heartburn, all of which Brian already knew. He then wondered if that was a common response to an injury or an ailment, such as if someone came in with a cannonball wound:
'''Brian''': (''pretending reading a pamphlet'') Number one: Do not stand directly in front of acannon...how cannon. How true that is."is!
'''Brian''': (''pretending reading a pamphlet'') Number one: Do not stand directly in front of a
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Changed line(s) 35 (click to see context) from:
* HumbleHero: He talked about the incident of Captain Sullenberger landing a plane safely in Hudson River and that he doesn't consider himself a hero. Brian wonders if it's a requirement for heroes to be humble, and says that in this instance it would probably be okay if the captain just admitted he was:
to:
* HumbleHero: He talked about the incident of Captain Sullenberger landing a plane safely in Hudson River and that he doesn't consider himself a hero. Brian wonders if it's a requirement for heroes to be humble, and says that in this instance it would probably be okay if the captain just admitted he was:was a hero:
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Changed line(s) 43 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Broken Femur Patient:''' ''[[LargeHam Who the HELL had the AUDACITY to say LEVEL TEN?!]]'' You know nothing about ten-- get me a sledgehammer, I'll show you what ten really feels like, Mister Tummyache!
to:
-->'''Broken Femur Patient:''' ''[[LargeHam Who the HELL had the AUDACITY to say he was at a LEVEL TEN?!]]'' You know nothing about ten-- get me a sledgehammer, I'll let me show you what ten really feels like, is all about, Mister Tummyache!
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Changed line(s) 35 (click to see context) from:
* HumbleHero: He talked about the incident of Captain Sullenberger landing a plane safely in Hudson River and that he doesn't consider himself a hero. And says that is a requirement of heroes to be humble. He says it would be okay if he admitted it.
to:
* HumbleHero: He talked about the incident of Captain Sullenberger landing a plane safely in Hudson River and that he doesn't consider himself a hero. And says that is Brian wonders if it's a requirement of for heroes to be humble. He humble, and says that in this instance it would probably be okay if he the captain just admitted it.he was:
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
* FromTheMouthsOfBabes: He recalls watching sports with her 3-year old daughter when her out of nowhere says "Put something appropiate for me".
to:
* FromTheMouthsOfBabes: He recalls watching sports with her his 3-year old daughter when her out of nowhere nowhere, she says "Put on something appropiate appropriate for me".
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Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
* MiseryPoker: Invoked during his bit about having to go to the emergency room for a particularly bad stomach virus. The nurse asked him to rate his pain on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the worst), and Brian was concerned about rating it a 10 because he'd heard that the worst pain one could endure was a broken femur, and he was afraid a ward full of broken femur patients would storm his room:
to:
* MiseryPoker: Invoked during his bit about having to go to the emergency room for a particularly bad stomach virus. The nurse asked him to rate his pain on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the worst), and Brian was concerned about rating it a 10 because he'd heard that the worst pain one could endure was a broken femur, and he was afraid a ward full mob of broken femur patients from the "Broken Femur Ward" would storm his room:
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Changed line(s) 43 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Broken Femur Patient:''' ''[[LargeHam Who the HELL had the AUDACITY to say LEVEL TEN?!]]'' You know nothing about ten-- get me a sledgehammer, I'll show you what ten really feels like, Mister Tummyache!
to:
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* MiseryPoker: Invoked during his bit about having to go to the emergency room for a particularly bad stomach virus. The nurse asked him to rate his pain on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the worst), and Brian was concerned about rating it a 10 because he'd heard that the worst pain one could endure was a broken femur, and he was afraid a ward full of broken femur patients would storm his room:
--->'''Broken Femur Patient:''' ''[[LargeHam Who the HELL had the AUDACITY to say LEVEL TEN?!]]'' You know nothing about ten-- get me a sledgehammer, I'll show you what ten really feels like, Mister Tummyache!
--->'''Broken Femur Patient:''' ''[[LargeHam Who the HELL had the AUDACITY to say LEVEL TEN?!]]'' You know nothing about ten-- get me a sledgehammer, I'll show you what ten really feels like, Mister Tummyache!
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Commenting out Zero Context Examples; deleting [[sinkhole]]s;
Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
* BookDumb: Brian and the Guy Against Reading.
to:
%% * BookDumb: Brian and the Guy Against Reading.
Changed line(s) 34 (click to see context) from:
* HollywoodSpelling: "Aymie"
to:
%% * HollywoodSpelling: "Aymie"
Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: "Hey there, Caro...lynn." "It's Carol''ine'', Brian."
to:
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: ItIsPronouncedTroPAY:
** "Hey there, Caro...lynn." "It's Carol''ine'', Brian."
** "Hey there, Caro...lynn." "It's Carol''ine'', Brian."
Changed line(s) 41,43 (click to see context) from:
* MotorMouth: The monster truck driver.
* MundaneMadeAwesome: WALKIE TALKIE!
* MyNaymeIs: His bit about "Aymie". See SpellMyNameWithAnS below.
* MundaneMadeAwesome: WALKIE TALKIE!
* MyNaymeIs: His bit about "Aymie". See SpellMyNameWithAnS below.
to:
%% * MotorMouth: The monster truck driver.
%% * MundaneMadeAwesome: WALKIE TALKIE!
%% * MyNaymeIs: His bit about "Aymie". See SpellMyNameWithAnS below.
%% * MundaneMadeAwesome: WALKIE TALKIE!
%% * MyNaymeIs: His bit about "Aymie". See SpellMyNameWithAnS below.
Changed line(s) 48 (click to see context) from:
* [[NeverSayDie Never Say Pain]]: His bit about doctors. They'll never tell you that someone is about to hurt...but they will tell you ''all about'' "pressure".
to:
* [[NeverSayDie Never Say Pain]]: NeverSayDie: His bit about doctors. They'll never tell you that someone is about to hurt...but they will tell you ''all about'' "pressure".
Changed line(s) 62,63 (click to see context) from:
* [[invoked]] SmallNameBigEgo: The "Me Monster"
* SpellMyNameWithAnS
* SpellMyNameWithAnS
to:
%% * [[invoked]] SmallNameBigEgo: The "Me Monster"
*SpellMyNameWithAnSSpellMyNameWithAnS:
*
Changed line(s) 71 (click to see context) from:
* [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman What Measure is a Non-Show Horse]]: One of his gags is an extended riff on a trailer marked "Caution: Transporting Show Horses."
to:
* [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman What Measure is a Non-Show Horse]]: WhatMeasureIsANonHuman:
** One of his gags is an extended riff on a trailer marked "Caution: Transporting Show Horses."
** One of his gags is an extended riff on a trailer marked "Caution: Transporting Show Horses."
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* TheBeautifulElite: Part of his stand up on airports compares first class passengers to noblemen. With comfy chairs, better food, and sitting in an entirely different section.
-->'''First Class Passenger''': Bring me a goblet of something cool and refreshing, and the head of a pig. Does anyone have a fiddle? Have someone from coach fiddle for me. Amuse me.
-->'''First Class Passenger''': Bring me a goblet of something cool and refreshing, and the head of a pig. Does anyone have a fiddle? Have someone from coach fiddle for me. Amuse me.
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* SeeminglyProfoundFool: During his Science Fair project, which he did at the last moment, he just filled a cup with dirt. His teacher thought that it was a experiment to show how not to grow something. He went along with it.
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* HumbleHero: He talked about the incident of Captain Sullenberger landing a plane safely in Hudson River and that he doesn't consider himself a hero. And says that is a requirement of heroes to be humble. He says it would be okay if he admitted it.
-->'''Reporter''': Do you think you are a hero?
-->'''Captain Sully''': ....[[BluntYes yes]]. Do you see the footage of that plane coming in? Have any idea how hard that was? Keeping the wings level and the nose up....suvivable speed.....HERO!
-->'''Reporter''': Do you think you are a hero?
-->'''Captain Sully''': ....[[BluntYes yes]]. Do you see the footage of that plane coming in? Have any idea how hard that was? Keeping the wings level and the nose up....suvivable speed.....HERO!
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Changed line(s) 41,42 (click to see context) from:
-->'''News' Anchor''': It's unclear whether the charges against Brian Regan will lead to it's execution.
-->'''Brian''': [[OhCrap O_O]]...Honey, did we pay that [[DisproportionateRetribution parking check?]]
-->'''Brian''': [[OhCrap O_O]]...Honey, did we pay that [[DisproportionateRetribution parking check?]]
to:
-->'''Brian''': [[OhCrap O_O]]...Honey, did we pay that [[DisproportionateRetribution parking
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* FromTheMouthOfBabes: He recalls watching sports with her 3-year old daughter when her out of nowhere says "Put something appropiate for me".
to:
* FromTheMouthOfBabes: FromTheMouthsOfBabes: He recalls watching sports with her 3-year old daughter when her out of nowhere says "Put something appropiate for me".
* NamesTheSame: Brian Regan, the real life United States spy/traitor. He wasn't paying attention when the news came in.
-->'''News' Anchor''': It's unclear whether the charges against Brian Regan will lead to it's execution.
-->'''Brian''': [[OhCrap O_O]]...Honey, did we pay that [[DisproportionateRetribution parking check?]]
-->'''News' Anchor''': It's unclear whether the charges against Brian Regan will lead to it's execution.
-->'''Brian''': [[OhCrap O_O]]...Honey, did we pay that [[DisproportionateRetribution parking check?]]
Deleted line(s) 41 (click to see context) :
* NamesTheSame: Brian Regan, the real life american spy/traitor.
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* FromTheMouthOfBabes: He recalls watching sports with her 3-year old daughter when her out of nowhere says "Put something appropiate for me".
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* NamesTheSame: Brian Regan, the real life american spy/traitor.
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Corrected it to the actual phrasing
Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
* AntiHumor: He uses an example of [[FromTheMouthsOfBabes a joke his young son tried to tell him]] -- "How come dinosaurs don't talk? [[BrutalHonesty Because they're dead]]."
to:
* AntiHumor: He uses an example of [[FromTheMouthsOfBabes a joke his young son tried to tell him]] -- "How come dinosaurs don't talk? [[BrutalHonesty Because 'Cause they're all dead]]."
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* WinsByDoingAbsolutelyNothing: Brian has a routine about how you never see point-counterpoint arguments for reading, since no one can argue against it without looking like such an idiot that the pro side wouldn't even have to speak.
-->Con side: "Hey, let me tell you somthin': reading don't never doed nothin', 'cause if you had.. If you has... Have had... Have haseded... If you did haveded... Hasededeved... A book, and you looks.. had looks... have looks... has looks... Have lookeded, lookedeveded, have lookededed at it... Then you might not even know why you had doed that."
-->Pro side: "I have nothing to add."
-->Con side: "Hey, let me tell you somthin': reading don't never doed nothin', 'cause if you had.. If you has... Have had... Have haseded... If you did haveded... Hasededeved... A book, and you looks.. had looks... have looks... has looks... Have lookeded, lookedeveded, have lookededed at it... Then you might not even know why you had doed that."
-->Pro side: "I have nothing to add."
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
* CaptainObviousAesop: "Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is."
to:
* CaptainObviousAesop: CaptainObvious: "Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is."
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
* AntiHumor: He uses an example of [[FromTheMouthsOfBabes a joke his young son tried to tell him]] - "How come dinosaurs don't talk? [[BrutalHonesty Because they're dead]]."
to:
* AntiHumor: He uses an example of [[FromTheMouthsOfBabes a joke his young son tried to tell him]] - -- "How come dinosaurs don't talk? [[BrutalHonesty Because they're dead]]."
Changed line(s) 25,26 (click to see context) from:
* CaptainObvious: "Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is."
* CripplingOverspecialization: An extended gag on how some lawyers specialize in "trip and fall" injuries while others specialize in "trip, slip, and fall".
* CripplingOverspecialization: An extended gag on how some lawyers specialize in "trip and fall" injuries while others specialize in "trip, slip, and fall".
to:
* CaptainObvious: CaptainObviousAesop: "Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is."
* CripplingOverspecialization: An extended gag on how some lawyers specialize in "trip and fall" injuries while others specialize in"trip, slip, "slip, trip and fall".
* CripplingOverspecialization: An extended gag on how some lawyers specialize in "trip and fall" injuries while others specialize in
Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: "Hey there, Caro...lyn." "It's Carol''ine'', Brian."
to:
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: "Hey there, Caro...lyn.lynn." "It's Carol''ine'', Brian."
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* CripplingOverspecialization: An extended gag on how some lawyers specialize in "trip and fall" injuries while others specialize in "trip, slip, and fall".
Changed line(s) 33 (click to see context) from:
* LeftItIn: During the "Horses" bit on ''All By Myself'', Brian keeps cracking up during the joke, interupting himself (mainly due to the ridiculousness of his lazy horse impression). Eventually he says "This joke's not going to make it on the CD, I can tell."
to:
* LeftItIn: During the "Horses" bit on ''All By Myself'', Brian keeps cracking up during the joke, interupting interrupting himself (mainly due to the ridiculousness of his lazy horse impression). Eventually he says "This joke's not going to make it on the CD, I can tell."
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Changed line(s) 60,62 (click to see context) from:
* WhatMeasureIsANonHuman: "Who cares? Just ''dumb ol' donkeys''."
** Inverted minutes earlier, as part of an extended riff on a trailer marked "Caution: Transporting Show Horses."
--->Oooooh. Oh, ten-and-two. We're sharing the road with show horses. If I start to lose control, I'll hit one of these cars with ''people''.
** Inverted minutes earlier, as part of an extended riff on a trailer marked "Caution: Transporting Show Horses."
--->Oooooh. Oh, ten-and-two. We're sharing the road with show horses. If I start to lose control, I'll hit one of these cars with ''people''.
to:
* WhatMeasureIsANonHuman: "Who cares? Just ''dumb ol' donkeys''."
** Inverted minutes earlier, as part[[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman What Measure is a Non-Show Horse]]: One of his gags is an extended riff on a trailer marked "Caution: Transporting Show Horses."
--->Oooooh."
-->Oooooh. Oh, ten-and-two. We're sharing the road with show horses. If I start to lose control, I'll hit one of these cars with''people''.''people''.
** Naturally, a second trailer is marked "Don't Worry: Just Dumb ol' Donkeys."
** Inverted minutes earlier, as part
--->Oooooh.
-->Oooooh. Oh, ten-and-two. We're sharing the road with show horses. If I start to lose control, I'll hit one of these cars with
** Naturally, a second trailer is marked "Don't Worry: Just Dumb ol' Donkeys."
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[[quoteright:236:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Brian_Regan2_6880.JPG]]
[[caption-width-right:236:[[TooDumbToLive "I don't know, I don't know really."]]]]
->''"Well, I'm Brian, B-R-I-V-O-L-B-N-the number seven and '''the letter Q!'''"''
-->-- Brivolbn7q Regan
Brian Regan is an American stand-up comedian. He's known for his consistently clean comedy style; he generally stays away from off-color humor and profanity. He bases all of his humor on common everyday occurrences such as ironing boards and buying juice. So what's so funny about this, you ask? See for [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9em-ZCddWk yourself!]] He does a lot of material about his childhood and his own (often unfortunate) experiences at typically normal places such as the emergency room and the airport.
His stand-up routines have included ''Stupid in School'', ''You Too And Stuff'', ''Comedy Central Presents: Brian Regan'', ''I Walked On The Moon'', ''Standing Up'', ''The Epitome of Hyperbole'', and ''All By Myself''. He's also performed on Late Night With Creator/DavidLetterman and Late Night With Creator/ConanOBrien.
----
!!Brian Regan's comedy provides examples of:
* AllCrimesAreEqual: Subverted with his bit about ''[[InherentlyFunnyWords MANSLAUGHTER]]''!
* AntiHumor: He uses an example of [[FromTheMouthsOfBabes a joke his young son tried to tell him]] - "How come dinosaurs don't talk? [[BrutalHonesty Because they're dead]]."
* BaitAndSwitch: In ''Stupid In School'', after Brian as a kid has already already answered incorrectly in class that the plural of "box" is "boxen".
-->'''Teacher''': What is the plural of goose?
-->'''Smart student''': Geese.
-->'''Teacher''': What is the plural of moose?
-->'''Brian''': Moosen!
* BigEater: When it comes to ice cream and Fig Newtons at least.
--> "I eat Fig Newtons by the ''sleeve!"''
* BookDumb: Brian and the Guy Against Reading.
* BrickJoke: "Well, my uncle doesn't grow corn."
* CaptainObvious: "Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is."
* DistractedByTheShiny: When commenting on how car dealerships tie balloons onto cars, this is how he imagines the thought process of a person influenced by such a tactic must go like.
** "Well, that's it for my day, I am heading hom-wwWHOOOOOA!!! Are those ''BALLOONS''?! I don't know what they're tied to but I'm '''buying one'''!"
* FridgeLogic: He brings up an example in-universe[[note]]well, as in-universe as you can get with jokes[[/note]] with log trucks. "Sometimes you're driving on the highway, and you see two trucks loaded up with logs, and they ''pass'' each other. Now if they need logs over there... and they need 'em over ''there''... you'd think a phone call would save a lot of problems!"
* FunWithAcronyms: A person texts Brian "LMAO". Brian's Response: "LMNOP"
* HollywoodSpelling: "Aymie"
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: "Hey there, Caro...lyn." "It's Carol''ine'', Brian."
** "It's Brai-'''yown'''."
* LeftItIn: During the "Horses" bit on ''All By Myself'', Brian keeps cracking up during the joke, interupting himself (mainly due to the ridiculousness of his lazy horse impression). Eventually he says "This joke's not going to make it on the CD, I can tell."
* MotorMouth: The monster truck driver.
* MundaneMadeAwesome: WALKIE TALKIE!
* MyNaymeIs: His bit about "Aymie". See SpellMyNameWithAnS below.
* MyFriendsAndZoidberg: "My wife and I have two wonderful kids...and another kid."
* [[NeverSayDie Never Say Pain]]: His bit about doctors. They'll never tell you that someone is about to hurt...but they will tell you ''all about'' "pressure".
* NotHelpingYourCase: The bit about a guy who's against the concept of reading. Yeah, ''reading''.
* OneThingLedToAnother:
-->I hate when you're trying to read something and you come across the expression "One thing led to another". What in the hell kind of lazy writing is that? Isn't that your job as the writer to tell me how this led to that? You can just throw that in there? "Adolf Hitler was rejected as a young man on his application to art school. One thing led to another...and the United States dropped two atomic bombs on the sovereign nation of Japan."
* SarcasmMode: He sometimes goes here. In a bit about elementary school science projects, he mentions a student who did a model of the solar system.
-->"The [[BuffySpeak big yellow one]] is the '''SUN'''!"
-->"[[DeadpanSnarker Well, you're breaking new ground there, Copernicus.]]"
* SelfDeprecation: A lot of his routine is based on this, especially his bits about how stupid he was in school.
-->"Brian, what is the plural for 'box'"?
-->"...[[PerplexingPlurals boxen]]. I bought two boxen of donuts."
* SeriousBusiness: His bit on eye exams.
* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: Try sending Brian a text message...
* SimpletonVoice: Frequently, usually when playing his younger self or any generic stupid person.
* [[invoked]] SmallNameBigEgo: The "Me Monster"
* SpellMyNameWithAnS
-->"Oh, A-M-Y?"
-->"No, A-Y-M-I-E."
-->"Ughhh... I have to take a nap."
* UnitConfusion:
-->"And the girth is...3"
-->"Three what?"
-->"3...girth units"
* WhatMeasureIsANonHuman: "Who cares? Just ''dumb ol' donkeys''."
** Inverted minutes earlier, as part of an extended riff on a trailer marked "Caution: Transporting Show Horses."
--->Oooooh. Oh, ten-and-two. We're sharing the road with show horses. If I start to lose control, I'll hit one of these cars with ''people''.
----
[[caption-width-right:236:[[TooDumbToLive "I don't know, I don't know really."]]]]
->''"Well, I'm Brian, B-R-I-V-O-L-B-N-the number seven and '''the letter Q!'''"''
-->-- Brivolbn7q Regan
Brian Regan is an American stand-up comedian. He's known for his consistently clean comedy style; he generally stays away from off-color humor and profanity. He bases all of his humor on common everyday occurrences such as ironing boards and buying juice. So what's so funny about this, you ask? See for [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9em-ZCddWk yourself!]] He does a lot of material about his childhood and his own (often unfortunate) experiences at typically normal places such as the emergency room and the airport.
His stand-up routines have included ''Stupid in School'', ''You Too And Stuff'', ''Comedy Central Presents: Brian Regan'', ''I Walked On The Moon'', ''Standing Up'', ''The Epitome of Hyperbole'', and ''All By Myself''. He's also performed on Late Night With Creator/DavidLetterman and Late Night With Creator/ConanOBrien.
----
!!Brian Regan's comedy provides examples of:
* AllCrimesAreEqual: Subverted with his bit about ''[[InherentlyFunnyWords MANSLAUGHTER]]''!
* AntiHumor: He uses an example of [[FromTheMouthsOfBabes a joke his young son tried to tell him]] - "How come dinosaurs don't talk? [[BrutalHonesty Because they're dead]]."
* BaitAndSwitch: In ''Stupid In School'', after Brian as a kid has already already answered incorrectly in class that the plural of "box" is "boxen".
-->'''Teacher''': What is the plural of goose?
-->'''Smart student''': Geese.
-->'''Teacher''': What is the plural of moose?
-->'''Brian''': Moosen!
* BigEater: When it comes to ice cream and Fig Newtons at least.
--> "I eat Fig Newtons by the ''sleeve!"''
* BookDumb: Brian and the Guy Against Reading.
* BrickJoke: "Well, my uncle doesn't grow corn."
* CaptainObvious: "Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is."
* DistractedByTheShiny: When commenting on how car dealerships tie balloons onto cars, this is how he imagines the thought process of a person influenced by such a tactic must go like.
** "Well, that's it for my day, I am heading hom-wwWHOOOOOA!!! Are those ''BALLOONS''?! I don't know what they're tied to but I'm '''buying one'''!"
* FridgeLogic: He brings up an example in-universe[[note]]well, as in-universe as you can get with jokes[[/note]] with log trucks. "Sometimes you're driving on the highway, and you see two trucks loaded up with logs, and they ''pass'' each other. Now if they need logs over there... and they need 'em over ''there''... you'd think a phone call would save a lot of problems!"
* FunWithAcronyms: A person texts Brian "LMAO". Brian's Response: "LMNOP"
* HollywoodSpelling: "Aymie"
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: "Hey there, Caro...lyn." "It's Carol''ine'', Brian."
** "It's Brai-'''yown'''."
* LeftItIn: During the "Horses" bit on ''All By Myself'', Brian keeps cracking up during the joke, interupting himself (mainly due to the ridiculousness of his lazy horse impression). Eventually he says "This joke's not going to make it on the CD, I can tell."
* MotorMouth: The monster truck driver.
* MundaneMadeAwesome: WALKIE TALKIE!
* MyNaymeIs: His bit about "Aymie". See SpellMyNameWithAnS below.
* MyFriendsAndZoidberg: "My wife and I have two wonderful kids...and another kid."
* [[NeverSayDie Never Say Pain]]: His bit about doctors. They'll never tell you that someone is about to hurt...but they will tell you ''all about'' "pressure".
* NotHelpingYourCase: The bit about a guy who's against the concept of reading. Yeah, ''reading''.
* OneThingLedToAnother:
-->I hate when you're trying to read something and you come across the expression "One thing led to another". What in the hell kind of lazy writing is that? Isn't that your job as the writer to tell me how this led to that? You can just throw that in there? "Adolf Hitler was rejected as a young man on his application to art school. One thing led to another...and the United States dropped two atomic bombs on the sovereign nation of Japan."
* SarcasmMode: He sometimes goes here. In a bit about elementary school science projects, he mentions a student who did a model of the solar system.
-->"The [[BuffySpeak big yellow one]] is the '''SUN'''!"
-->"[[DeadpanSnarker Well, you're breaking new ground there, Copernicus.]]"
* SelfDeprecation: A lot of his routine is based on this, especially his bits about how stupid he was in school.
-->"Brian, what is the plural for 'box'"?
-->"...[[PerplexingPlurals boxen]]. I bought two boxen of donuts."
* SeriousBusiness: His bit on eye exams.
* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: Try sending Brian a text message...
* SimpletonVoice: Frequently, usually when playing his younger self or any generic stupid person.
* [[invoked]] SmallNameBigEgo: The "Me Monster"
* SpellMyNameWithAnS
-->"Oh, A-M-Y?"
-->"No, A-Y-M-I-E."
-->"Ughhh... I have to take a nap."
* UnitConfusion:
-->"And the girth is...3"
-->"Three what?"
-->"3...girth units"
* WhatMeasureIsANonHuman: "Who cares? Just ''dumb ol' donkeys''."
** Inverted minutes earlier, as part of an extended riff on a trailer marked "Caution: Transporting Show Horses."
--->Oooooh. Oh, ten-and-two. We're sharing the road with show horses. If I start to lose control, I'll hit one of these cars with ''people''.
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