History BadassBoast / WebComics

31st May '16 9:00:29 AM Quanyails
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** [[AntiHero Karkat]] [[EstablishingCharacterMoment introducing himself]] to [[TheHero John]] and in the process making one of the most [[LargeHam bombastic]] speeches in the entire comic, full of BadassBoasts.

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** [[AntiHero Karkat]] [[EstablishingCharacterMoment introducing himself]] to [[TheHero John]] and in the process making one of the most [[LargeHam bombastic]] speeches in the entire comic, full of BadassBoasts.{{Badass Boast}}s.
25th Mar '16 2:44:02 PM CrankCase
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* ''Webcomic/NobodyScores'': While crossing to an island where [[http://nobodyscores.loosenutstudio.com/index.php?id=418 an illegal no-limits martial arts tournament]] is going down, [[BloodKnight Jane Doe]] gets a 'surely a beautiful lady like yourself isn't' question:
--> '''Jane''': Oh me? Psh.\\
I mean, don't get it twisted, I'ma fuck you up.\\
but [[ComedicSociopathy I'm entering my friend here]].
6th Mar '16 10:51:20 AM nombretomado
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-->'''Rikk:''' First off, I got sucker-punched by CaptainAmerica. That's like giving Michael Phelps a head start. Secondly, I've spent the last five years with two remarkable women. One of them's one of the toughest, cleverest fighters I've ever seen anywhere. The other is Rumiko Tanaka Oberf! We work hard, but we do make time for each other. And when we're not vegging or sharing a bed...we like to spar! Marc and I aren't here to impress you, Hus. We're here to bring you to justice.

to:

-->'''Rikk:''' First off, I got sucker-punched by CaptainAmerica.ComicBook/CaptainAmerica. That's like giving Michael Phelps a head start. Secondly, I've spent the last five years with two remarkable women. One of them's one of the toughest, cleverest fighters I've ever seen anywhere. The other is Rumiko Tanaka Oberf! We work hard, but we do make time for each other. And when we're not vegging or sharing a bed...we like to spar! Marc and I aren't here to impress you, Hus. We're here to bring you to justice.
1st Sep '15 6:33:07 AM DemoDemon
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** [[AntiHero Karkat]] [[EstablishingCharacterMoment introducing himself]] to [[TheHero John]] and in the process making one of the most [[LargeHam bombastic]] speeches in the entire comic, full of BadassBoasts.
--> ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
--> [[WhamLine THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.]]
--> [[GodIsEvil IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR.]] ''[...]'' PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK. BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET. BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED. THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN. ONLY MY HATE. IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT [[YouCannotGraspTheTrueForm IT WOULD CONSUME]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.]] IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. ''[...]'' IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. [[ThePowerOfHate MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.]]
--> IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU.
--> YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.]]
25th Aug '15 3:36:38 PM pharaohmobius
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--> '''Hunter:''' “You know... only two men in the world are allowed to insult me. One of them is dead... the other is waiting for my call... [[OhCrap which makes you neither.]]”

to:

--> '''Hunter:''' “You know... only two men in the world are allowed to insult me. One of them is dead... the other is waiting for my call... [[OhCrap which makes you neither.]]”]]”



** [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0597/ He does it again!]] With additional recap!

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** [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0597/ com/tales-of-the-questor-0598/ He does it again!]] With additional recap!



** The spin-off, ''Webcomic/QuentynQuinnSpaceRanger''. also has one: when Commander Quinn tells some space pirates [[http://www.rhjunior.com/QQSR/00012.html why some very nasty aliens listen to the Racconans]].

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** The spin-off, ''Webcomic/QuentynQuinnSpaceRanger''. also has one: when Commander Quinn tells some space pirates [[http://www.rhjunior.com/QQSR/00012.html com/quentyn-quinn-space-ranger-0012/ why some very nasty aliens listen to the Racconans]].
25th Aug '15 3:31:55 PM pharaohmobius
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** [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0597.html He does it again!]] With additional recap!

to:

** [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0597.html com/tales-of-the-questor-0597/ He does it again!]] With additional recap!
25th Aug '15 3:30:10 PM pharaohmobius
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* ''I'm the freaking [[Webcomic/TalesOfTheQuestor Questor of Freeman Downs]]! I have slogged through the Dire Swamps, killed a Gragum god-priest and three of his followers single-handed, and waded thru an army of shadow wights to kill a rat-king. I also happen to be the guy who just hospitalized half you big, bad gang, jackass. I have a badge, an arsenal, and a license to kill. The only reason you're still alive is that I didn't want to mess with the paperwork. So feel free to drop by any time, dillweed. I see you, or your friends within [[UsefulNotes/AmericanCustomaryMeasurements a hundred miles]] of my town and I'll gut you like a trout.'' What triggers this boast can be seen [[http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00309.html here]].
** Subverted a couple of panels later; while the threat takes, the "badass" in question requires a VomitDiscretionShot from the stress of it, which can be seen [[http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00310.html here]].
** [[http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00597.html He does it again!]] With additional recap!

to:

* ''I'm the freaking [[Webcomic/TalesOfTheQuestor Questor of Freeman Downs]]! I have slogged through the Dire Swamps, killed a Gragum god-priest and three of his followers single-handed, and waded thru an army of shadow wights to kill a rat-king. I also happen to be the guy who just hospitalized half you big, bad gang, jackass. I have a badge, an arsenal, and a license to kill. The only reason you're still alive is that I didn't want to mess with the paperwork. So feel free to drop by any time, dillweed. I see you, or your friends within [[UsefulNotes/AmericanCustomaryMeasurements a hundred miles]] of my town and I'll gut you like a trout.'' What triggers this boast can be seen [[http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00309.html com/tales-of-the-questor-0310/ here]].
** Subverted a couple of panels later; while the threat takes, the "badass" in question requires a VomitDiscretionShot from the stress of it, which can be seen [[http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00310.html com/tales-of-the-questor-0311/ here]].
** [[http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00597.com/tales-of-the-questor-0597.html He does it again!]] With additional recap!
1st Aug '15 8:59:27 PM LordOfTheSword
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-->'''Xykon to Dorukan in Start Of Darkness:''' Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? [[IWouldSayIfICouldSay Proverbially, of course?]] [[ScrewYouElves A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. Energy Drain! I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[ObfuscatingStupidity Because I get bored easily.]] [[BrilliantButLazy Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. Energy Drain! But see, I've learned a lot over the years since I died. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! [[UnequalRites Because yes, I am a sorcerer - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies."]] [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die.]] [[IronicEcho You can have your finely-crafted watch -]] [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. ENERGY DRAIN!

-->'''Xykon to Redcloak in Start Of Darkness:''' What I said there to Dorukan about overwhelming force? That's only part of Colonel Xykon's secret recipe of winning. It's not just about power, it's also about [[MoralEventHorizon how far you're willing to debase yourself before feeling bad]]. And me? [[OurLichesAreDifferent I ripped off my own living flesh so that I wouldn't have to admit weakness.]] [[EvilerThanThou You're strictly little league compared to that]]. That right there? That's the difference between bonafide [[CardCarryingVillain true Evil]] and your whiny [[TheEndJustifiesTheMeans "evil, but for a good cause"]] crap. One gets to be the butch and one gets to be the bitch. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch]].

-->'''Xykon to (an invisible) Vaarsuvius:''' You seem to have an interest in power, so let me educate you a little while I search for you. It's sort of this thing I like to do sometimes, especially for learned wizards such as yourself. Power, it isn't something that you put on or take off like a jacket. It's something you just ARE. If you can lose it by blowing two Will saves, you never really had any power in the first place, see what I'm saying? Hell, the idiot paladin understands better than you do, 'cause he got every one of those hit points I burned off of him the hard way: he earned them. 'Course now he's also earned an upgrade to Prisoner First Class for daring to touch my pretty little bauble. It's sort of the same as how we've already been treating him, only now we get serious about it. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh, right. Your soul shenanigans are real flashy, but they had one weakness: they were shackled to your lame mid-level ass! I used to think spells equaled power, too, back when I was alive. I've learned a lot since then. You know what does equal power? Power. Power equals power. Crazy, huh? But the type of power? Doesn't matter as much as you'd think. It turns out, everything is oddly balanced. Weird, but true. For example: ...Right now, power takes the form of a +8 racial bonus to Listen skill checks. ''[He grabs V by the throat]'' So, Uncle Xykon, what's the moral of the story? A big pile of spells isn't enough when the other guy has a big pile of spells AND the strength to crush your windpipe with his bare phalanges. And they died happily ever after. The End.

to:

-->'''Xykon to *** '''To Dorukan in Start Of Darkness:''' Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? [[IWouldSayIfICouldSay Proverbially, of course?]] [[ScrewYouElves A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. Energy Drain! I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[ObfuscatingStupidity Because I get bored easily.]] [[BrilliantButLazy Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. Energy Drain! But see, I've learned a lot over the years since I died. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! [[UnequalRites Because yes, I am a sorcerer - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies."]] [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die.]] [[IronicEcho You can have your finely-crafted watch -]] [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. ENERGY DRAIN!

-->'''Xykon to
DRAIN!
*** '''To
Redcloak in Start Of Darkness:''' What I said there to Dorukan about overwhelming force? That's only part of Colonel Xykon's secret recipe of winning. It's not just about power, it's also about [[MoralEventHorizon how far you're willing to debase yourself before feeling bad]]. And me? [[OurLichesAreDifferent I ripped off my own living flesh so that I wouldn't have to admit weakness.]] [[EvilerThanThou You're strictly little league compared to that]]. That right there? That's the difference between bonafide [[CardCarryingVillain true Evil]] and your whiny [[TheEndJustifiesTheMeans "evil, but for a good cause"]] crap. One gets to be the butch and one gets to be the bitch. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch]].

-->'''Xykon to
Bitch]].
*** '''To
(an invisible) Vaarsuvius:''' You seem to have an interest in power, so let me educate you a little while I search for you. It's sort of this thing I like to do sometimes, especially for learned wizards such as yourself. Power, it isn't something that you put on or take off like a jacket. It's something you just ARE. If you can lose it by blowing two Will saves, you never really had any power in the first place, see what I'm saying? Hell, the idiot paladin understands better than you do, 'cause he got every one of those hit points I burned off of him the hard way: he earned them. 'Course now he's also earned an upgrade to Prisoner First Class for daring to touch my pretty little bauble. It's sort of the same as how we've already been treating him, only now we get serious about it. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh, right. Your soul shenanigans are real flashy, but they had one weakness: they were shackled to your lame mid-level ass! I used to think spells equaled power, too, back when I was alive. I've learned a lot since then. You know what does equal power? Power. Power equals power. Crazy, huh? But the type of power? Doesn't matter as much as you'd think. It turns out, everything is oddly balanced. Weird, but true. For example: ...Right now, power takes the form of a +8 racial bonus to Listen skill checks. ''[He grabs V by the throat]'' So, Uncle Xykon, what's the moral of the story? A big pile of spells isn't enough when the other guy has a big pile of spells AND the strength to crush your windpipe with his bare phalanges. And they died happily ever after. The End.
1st Aug '15 8:58:26 PM LordOfTheSword
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1st Aug '15 8:51:47 PM LordOfTheSword
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** Raven [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2009-06-13 chewing]] the scenery and [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2009-06-18 spoon-feeding]] it to [[KnightTemplar Abe]].

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** Raven [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2009-06-13 chewing]] the scenery and [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2009-06-18 spoon-feeding]] it to [[KnightTemplar Abe]].Abraham]].
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