History BadassBoast / WebComics

10th Nov '17 7:20:00 AM Medinoc
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* In one ''Webcomic/SkinHorse'' strip, Unity, chained up by a secret cult of Noraties Public, claims to "eat steel like this for breakfast". In the next strip, she meets the Abbess, and Notary Paul warns the Abess she's trouble:

to:

* In one ''Webcomic/SkinHorse'' strip, Unity, chained up by a secret cult of Noraties Notaries Public, claims to "eat steel like this for breakfast". In the next strip, she meets the Abbess, and Notary Paul warns the Abess she's trouble:
24th Oct '17 9:31:54 PM Galaxithea
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** Sollux gets one before his fight with Eridan:
-->"ii should have kiiled you on lobaf when ii had the chance. oh well, guess iit'2 only fiittiing ii'd take you down iin [[DualityMotif ROUND TWO.]]"
15th Aug '17 4:40:16 AM Demotivator
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* ''Webcomic/{{Gosu}}'': After overwhelming Dang Gan with a [[TheGreatestStyle Divine Heavenly Destruction Technique]] and leaving him [[OnlyMostlyDead seemingly dead]], Gang Ryong says this gem to Jin Garyeong:
--->"No-one can take a [[TheGreatestStyle Divine Heavenly Destruction Technique]] head-on and survive."
8th Aug '17 7:31:10 AM TheHeroHartmut
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--> '''[[EmpathicWeapon Chaz]]''': Good evening, master. Whom shall we kill today?
--> '''Torg''': A god damned demon lord.

to:

--> '''[[EmpathicWeapon -->'''[[EmpathicWeapon Chaz]]''': Good evening, master. Whom shall we kill today?
-->
today?\\
'''Torg''': A god damned demon lord.



--> ''*after an [[HPToOne HP To One]]*''
--> '''Nale:''' Unnnh... I'm still... alive.
--> '''Malack:''' I'm not finished. [[CherryTapping Quickened Inflict Moderate Wounds.]]

to:

--> ''*after -->''*after an [[HPToOne HP To One]]*''
-->
One]]*''\\
'''Nale:''' Unnnh... I'm still... alive.
-->
alive.\\
'''Malack:''' I'm not finished. [[CherryTapping Quickened Inflict Moderate Wounds.]]]]
** While trekking through the frozen wastelands towards Kraagor's Gate, O-Chul and Lien pass the time by engaging in what they call a 'Paladin-Off', in which they basically compete to see who can come up with the better Paladin-themed boast based on their situation:
-->'''Lien:''' How are you doing? Are you handling the cold OK?\\
'''O-Chul:''' I am well. You?\\
'''Lien:''' Sure, no problem. I've grown accustomed to the frigid depths of the ocean floor as I seek out the forces of Evil in the dark crevices in which they hide.\\
'''O-Chul:''' I warm myself with my thoughts - both of the gentle warmth of good deeds done and delinquent hearts redeemed, as well as those of the eternal fires of the Lower Planes - where those unwilling to reconsider their life choices must surely find themselves should they stand against me.\\
''[...]''\\
'''Lien:''' I don't know what I was thinking, trying to beat you in a Paladin-Off.\\
'''O-Chul:''' Through grim virtuous perseverance and the will of the Twelve Gods, I was able to triumph.\\
'''Lient:''' OK, OK, you won! Take it down a notch.



-->"'Wizard'? Are you kidding me? '''Wizards''' do parlor tricks. '''I''' throttle the heavens!"
-->"This...this isn't right... this... will not be... I am Sarda. And I am older than time. I possess a power beyond mortal imagination. My plans will not be undone by such amateur-hour [[PrecisionFStrike horse shit]] as [[PhlebotinumOverload absorbing too much power and exploding]]. [[AGodAmI I am Sarda. My will be done]]."

to:

-->"'Wizard'? Are you kidding me? '''Wizards''' do parlor tricks. '''I''' throttle the heavens!"
-->"This...
heavens!"\\
"This...
this isn't right... this... will not be... I am Sarda. And I am older than time. I possess a power beyond mortal imagination. My plans will not be undone by such amateur-hour [[PrecisionFStrike horse shit]] as [[PhlebotinumOverload absorbing too much power and exploding]]. [[AGodAmI I am Sarda. My will be done]]."



-->'''Black Mage:''' Can we have a minute?
-->'''Chaos:''' I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal.
-->'''Black Mage:''' ...is that a yes?

to:

-->'''Black Mage:''' Can we have a minute?
-->'''Chaos:'''
minute?\\
'''Chaos:'''
I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal.
-->'''Black
eternal.\\
'''Black
Mage:''' ...is that a yes?



-->'''Ina:''' How about I just call you Yori?
-->'''Yorikiro:''' That'll work.

to:

-->'''Ina:''' How about I just call you Yori?
-->'''Yorikiro:'''
Yori?\\
'''Yorikiro:'''
That'll work.



-->"No matter how furious or destructive a storm may be, there is '''always''' a center of peace and serenity. [[TranquilFury I am the champion of balance...]]'''[[TranquilFury the eye of the storm.]]'''
-->"I have done battle with demons and stared into the face of hell itself. You think I'm scared of a racist bully with a crush he can't handle?"

to:

-->"No matter how furious or destructive a storm may be, there is '''always''' a center of peace and serenity. [[TranquilFury I am the champion of balance...]]'''[[TranquilFury the eye of the storm.]]'''
-->"I
]]'''\\
"I
have done battle with demons and stared into the face of hell itself. You think I'm scared of a racist bully with a crush he can't handle?"



-->'''Marc:''' Bully needs a beatdown! (To Rikk) Yours was way more wootworthy.
-->'''Rikk:''' No, you gave a good closing statement.

to:

-->'''Marc:''' Bully needs a beatdown! (To Rikk) Yours was way more wootworthy.
-->'''Rikk:'''
wootworthy.\\
'''Rikk:'''
No, you gave a good closing statement.



-->'''Ji Jiao:''' Everyone knows you haven't fought in ten years.
-->'''Master Fei:''' *[[BondOneLiner after the]] CurbStompBattle* It's been ten years since anyone spoke of my fights because no one has walked away from them in that time.

to:

-->'''Ji Jiao:''' Everyone knows you haven't fought in ten years.
-->'''Master
years.\\
'''Master
Fei:''' *[[BondOneLiner after the]] CurbStompBattle* It's been ten years since anyone spoke of my fights because no one has walked away from them in that time.



--->'''Whacka''': And just who are you?
--->'''[[spoiler:Dark Star]]''' Who am I? I am the Shadow Constellation. I am the Black Prism. I am the Color of Evil. [[OverlyLongGag I am he who calls your mother a fat cow and gets away with it]]. I AM... [[spoiler: DARK STAR]]!

to:

--->'''Whacka''': And just who are you?
--->'''[[spoiler:Dark
you?\\
'''[[spoiler:Dark
Star]]''' Who am I? I am the Shadow Constellation. I am the Black Prism. I am the Color of Evil. [[OverlyLongGag I am he who calls your mother a fat cow and gets away with it]]. I AM... [[spoiler: DARK STAR]]!



--> DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN ESCAPE ME BEFORE I ARRIVE?
--> HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO OUTRUN ME
--> '''[[ArcWords WHEN I AM ALREADY HERE?]]'''

to:

--> DO -->DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN ESCAPE ME BEFORE I ARRIVE?
-->
ARRIVE?\\
HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO OUTRUN ME
-->
ME\\
'''[[ArcWords WHEN I AM ALREADY HERE?]]'''



--> ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
--> [[WhamLine THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.]]
--> [[GodIsEvil IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR.]] ''[...]'' PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK. BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET. BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED. THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN. ONLY MY HATE. IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT [[YouCannotGraspTheTrueForm IT WOULD CONSUME]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.]] IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. ''[...]'' IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. [[ThePowerOfHate MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.]]
--> IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU.
--> YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.]]

to:

--> ATTENTION -->ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
-->
HUMAN. \\
[[WhamLine THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.]]
-->
]] \\
[[GodIsEvil IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR.]] ''[...]'' PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK. BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET. BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED. THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN. ONLY MY HATE. IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT [[YouCannotGraspTheTrueForm IT WOULD CONSUME]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.]] IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. ''[...]'' IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. [[ThePowerOfHate MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.]]
-->
]]\\
IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU.
-->
YOU.\\
YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.]]



-->'''Unity''': Yeah, I eat little old ladies like you for breakfast!
-->'''Paul''': I thought you ate steel for breakfast.
-->'''Unity''': Oxygen tank.

to:

-->'''Unity''': Yeah, I eat little old ladies like you for breakfast!
-->'''Paul''':
breakfast!\\
'''Paul''':
I thought you ate steel for breakfast.
-->'''Unity''':
breakfast.\\
'''Unity''':
Oxygen tank.



-->'''Demon:''' I'm going to rip you apart.
-->'''Dies Horribly:''' You've already done that. It didn't work.

to:

-->'''Demon:''' I'm going to rip you apart.
-->'''Dies
apart.\\
'''Dies
Horribly:''' You've already done that. It didn't work.



-->'''Jack:''' Sandra... doesn't it worry you how I'm not worried?
-->'''Sandra:''' No. Because you're an idiot.
-->'''Jack:''' Sure. I'm also Plaid Jack Clarity, the Tartan Sorcerer. Walker in infernal fires, he of the intersecting lines. This is my friend Tomie. [[spoiler:And you're a bad, bad demon.]]

to:

-->'''Jack:''' Sandra... doesn't it worry you how I'm not worried?
-->'''Sandra:'''
worried?\\
'''Sandra:'''
No. Because you're an idiot.
-->'''Jack:'''
idiot.\\
'''Jack:'''
Sure. I'm also Plaid Jack Clarity, the Tartan Sorcerer. Walker in infernal fires, he of the intersecting lines. This is my friend Tomie. [[spoiler:And you're a bad, bad demon.]]
7th Aug '17 2:44:22 PM infernape612
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-->"''I AM THE LEGENDARY WARRIOR!''"

to:

-->"''I --->"''I AM THE LEGENDARY WARRIOR!''"



-->"'' You think I'm afraid of an opponent who can see the future... my opponents have no future!''"

to:

-->"'' You --->"''You think I'm afraid of an opponent who can see the future... my opponents have no future!''"



--> '''Penk:''' "There is nothing that you can build that we will not tear down. There is no land that you can take that we will not reclaim. For my god is a fiery, '''vengeful''' god. It is by '''his''' will that we live to face you again. Pray to your own gods...while you can.

to:

--> ---> '''Penk:''' "There is nothing that you can build that we will not tear down. There is no land that you can take that we will not reclaim. For my god is a fiery, '''vengeful''' god. It is by '''his''' will that we live to face you again. Pray to your own gods...while you can.
28th May '17 9:53:44 PM NXTangl
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** He also has this simple but effective one, delivered by radio ''immediately'' after the enemy Commander sends a tank after him:
-->'''Kevyn:''' Hello, Commander. [[{{Plunder}} I have a tank now.]] It's very shiny, but there's a [[GoryDiscretionShot nasty stain on the upholstery...]]
27th Apr '17 3:24:25 PM LordOfTheSword
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:::And then he shows [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20071203 he wasn't bluffing]].

to:

:::And **And then he shows [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20071203 he wasn't bluffing]].



:::Gil proceeds to go 3 for 3 with this gem when he's [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080305 challenged by one of his father's minions]], indicating that he is MadeOfWin.
::: Then he goes four for four when he [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110815 beats the crap out of Vole, and recruits him as a minion]] for the sole purpose of being TheStarscream ''just to keep himself sharp.''
** His dad gets a minor one [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20030418 here.]] "I will go by myself. Let the people see that I ''can''"

to:

:::Gil **Gil proceeds to go 3 for 3 with this gem when he's [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080305 challenged by one of his father's minions]], indicating that he is MadeOfWin.
::: ** Then he goes four for four when he [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110815 beats the crap out of Vole, and recruits him as a minion]] for the sole purpose of being TheStarscream ''just to keep himself sharp.''
--->'''Gilgamesh:''' We'll make it a ''GAME''. "Who's the '''''SCARIEST MONSTER?'''''"
** His dad gets a minor one [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20030418 here.]] "I will go by myself. Let the people see that I ''can''"''can''."
16th Apr '17 8:54:03 PM darkemyst
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* ''Webcomic/CharbyTheVampirate'': When [[WeirdnessMagnet Zeno]] is freaking out over endangering his newfound friends:
--> '''Charby:''' I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Charby. I'm a ''vampire''. ''I've lived in Kellwood for over 300 years''. I survived getting ''stabbed clean through the chest'' with a sword! I pulled it out and cut the ''other guy's'' head off! Whatever is after you it's ''no challenge'' for me and Menulis.
8th Apr '17 9:26:38 AM nombretomado
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* In a ''Webcomic/VGCats'' [[http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=280 strip]] in which they parody "The Word" section of ''Series/TheColbertReport'': "We didn't spend YEARS as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. We memorized the [[VideoGame/KillerInstinct Ultra Combos]]. We wrote down pages of passwords. WE defeated the [[VideoGame/MegaMan Robot Masters]], [[PunchOut knocked out Tyson]], and SAVED THE FUCKING PRINCESS."

to:

* In a ''Webcomic/VGCats'' [[http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=280 strip]] in which they parody "The Word" section of ''Series/TheColbertReport'': "We didn't spend YEARS as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. We memorized the [[VideoGame/KillerInstinct Ultra Combos]]. We wrote down pages of passwords. WE defeated the [[VideoGame/MegaMan Robot Masters]], [[PunchOut [[VideoGame/PunchOut knocked out Tyson]], and SAVED THE FUCKING PRINCESS."
3rd Apr '17 12:58:06 PM CountDorku
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* ''Webcomic/TheLastDaysOfFOXHOUND'': During a tense standoff, [[TheGunslinger Ocelot]] takes a moment to inform everyone concerned that he could [[BizarreAndImprobableBallistics kill everyone in the room with one bullet]].
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