History BadassBoast / WebComics

15th Aug '17 4:40:16 AM Demotivator
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* ''Webcomic/{{Gosu}}'': After overwhelming Dang Gan with a [[TheGreatestStyle Divine Heavenly Destruction Technique]] and leaving him [[OnlyMostlyDead seemingly dead]], Gang Ryong says this gem to Jin Garyeong:
--->"No-one can take a [[TheGreatestStyle Divine Heavenly Destruction Technique]] head-on and survive."
8th Aug '17 7:31:10 AM TheHeroHartmut
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--> '''[[EmpathicWeapon Chaz]]''': Good evening, master. Whom shall we kill today?
--> '''Torg''': A god damned demon lord.

to:

--> '''[[EmpathicWeapon -->'''[[EmpathicWeapon Chaz]]''': Good evening, master. Whom shall we kill today?
-->
today?\\
'''Torg''': A god damned demon lord.



--> ''*after an [[HPToOne HP To One]]*''
--> '''Nale:''' Unnnh... I'm still... alive.
--> '''Malack:''' I'm not finished. [[CherryTapping Quickened Inflict Moderate Wounds.]]

to:

--> ''*after -->''*after an [[HPToOne HP To One]]*''
-->
One]]*''\\
'''Nale:''' Unnnh... I'm still... alive.
-->
alive.\\
'''Malack:''' I'm not finished. [[CherryTapping Quickened Inflict Moderate Wounds.]]]]
** While trekking through the frozen wastelands towards Kraagor's Gate, O-Chul and Lien pass the time by engaging in what they call a 'Paladin-Off', in which they basically compete to see who can come up with the better Paladin-themed boast based on their situation:
-->'''Lien:''' How are you doing? Are you handling the cold OK?\\
'''O-Chul:''' I am well. You?\\
'''Lien:''' Sure, no problem. I've grown accustomed to the frigid depths of the ocean floor as I seek out the forces of Evil in the dark crevices in which they hide.\\
'''O-Chul:''' I warm myself with my thoughts - both of the gentle warmth of good deeds done and delinquent hearts redeemed, as well as those of the eternal fires of the Lower Planes - where those unwilling to reconsider their life choices must surely find themselves should they stand against me.\\
''[...]''\\
'''Lien:''' I don't know what I was thinking, trying to beat you in a Paladin-Off.\\
'''O-Chul:''' Through grim virtuous perseverance and the will of the Twelve Gods, I was able to triumph.\\
'''Lient:''' OK, OK, you won! Take it down a notch.



-->"'Wizard'? Are you kidding me? '''Wizards''' do parlor tricks. '''I''' throttle the heavens!"
-->"This...this isn't right... this... will not be... I am Sarda. And I am older than time. I possess a power beyond mortal imagination. My plans will not be undone by such amateur-hour [[PrecisionFStrike horse shit]] as [[PhlebotinumOverload absorbing too much power and exploding]]. [[AGodAmI I am Sarda. My will be done]]."

to:

-->"'Wizard'? Are you kidding me? '''Wizards''' do parlor tricks. '''I''' throttle the heavens!"
-->"This...
heavens!"\\
"This...
this isn't right... this... will not be... I am Sarda. And I am older than time. I possess a power beyond mortal imagination. My plans will not be undone by such amateur-hour [[PrecisionFStrike horse shit]] as [[PhlebotinumOverload absorbing too much power and exploding]]. [[AGodAmI I am Sarda. My will be done]]."



-->'''Black Mage:''' Can we have a minute?
-->'''Chaos:''' I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal.
-->'''Black Mage:''' ...is that a yes?

to:

-->'''Black Mage:''' Can we have a minute?
-->'''Chaos:'''
minute?\\
'''Chaos:'''
I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal.
-->'''Black
eternal.\\
'''Black
Mage:''' ...is that a yes?



-->'''Ina:''' How about I just call you Yori?
-->'''Yorikiro:''' That'll work.

to:

-->'''Ina:''' How about I just call you Yori?
-->'''Yorikiro:'''
Yori?\\
'''Yorikiro:'''
That'll work.



-->"No matter how furious or destructive a storm may be, there is '''always''' a center of peace and serenity. [[TranquilFury I am the champion of balance...]]'''[[TranquilFury the eye of the storm.]]'''
-->"I have done battle with demons and stared into the face of hell itself. You think I'm scared of a racist bully with a crush he can't handle?"

to:

-->"No matter how furious or destructive a storm may be, there is '''always''' a center of peace and serenity. [[TranquilFury I am the champion of balance...]]'''[[TranquilFury the eye of the storm.]]'''
-->"I
]]'''\\
"I
have done battle with demons and stared into the face of hell itself. You think I'm scared of a racist bully with a crush he can't handle?"



-->'''Marc:''' Bully needs a beatdown! (To Rikk) Yours was way more wootworthy.
-->'''Rikk:''' No, you gave a good closing statement.

to:

-->'''Marc:''' Bully needs a beatdown! (To Rikk) Yours was way more wootworthy.
-->'''Rikk:'''
wootworthy.\\
'''Rikk:'''
No, you gave a good closing statement.



-->'''Ji Jiao:''' Everyone knows you haven't fought in ten years.
-->'''Master Fei:''' *[[BondOneLiner after the]] CurbStompBattle* It's been ten years since anyone spoke of my fights because no one has walked away from them in that time.

to:

-->'''Ji Jiao:''' Everyone knows you haven't fought in ten years.
-->'''Master
years.\\
'''Master
Fei:''' *[[BondOneLiner after the]] CurbStompBattle* It's been ten years since anyone spoke of my fights because no one has walked away from them in that time.



--->'''Whacka''': And just who are you?
--->'''[[spoiler:Dark Star]]''' Who am I? I am the Shadow Constellation. I am the Black Prism. I am the Color of Evil. [[OverlyLongGag I am he who calls your mother a fat cow and gets away with it]]. I AM... [[spoiler: DARK STAR]]!

to:

--->'''Whacka''': And just who are you?
--->'''[[spoiler:Dark
you?\\
'''[[spoiler:Dark
Star]]''' Who am I? I am the Shadow Constellation. I am the Black Prism. I am the Color of Evil. [[OverlyLongGag I am he who calls your mother a fat cow and gets away with it]]. I AM... [[spoiler: DARK STAR]]!



--> DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN ESCAPE ME BEFORE I ARRIVE?
--> HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO OUTRUN ME
--> '''[[ArcWords WHEN I AM ALREADY HERE?]]'''

to:

--> DO -->DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN ESCAPE ME BEFORE I ARRIVE?
-->
ARRIVE?\\
HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO OUTRUN ME
-->
ME\\
'''[[ArcWords WHEN I AM ALREADY HERE?]]'''



--> ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
--> [[WhamLine THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.]]
--> [[GodIsEvil IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR.]] ''[...]'' PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK. BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET. BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED. THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN. ONLY MY HATE. IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT [[YouCannotGraspTheTrueForm IT WOULD CONSUME]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.]] IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. ''[...]'' IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. [[ThePowerOfHate MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.]]
--> IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU.
--> YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.]]

to:

--> ATTENTION -->ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
-->
HUMAN. \\
[[WhamLine THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.]]
-->
]] \\
[[GodIsEvil IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR.]] ''[...]'' PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK. BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET. BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED. THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN. ONLY MY HATE. IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT [[YouCannotGraspTheTrueForm IT WOULD CONSUME]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.]] IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. ''[...]'' IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. [[ThePowerOfHate MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.]]
-->
]]\\
IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU.
-->
YOU.\\
YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.]]



-->'''Unity''': Yeah, I eat little old ladies like you for breakfast!
-->'''Paul''': I thought you ate steel for breakfast.
-->'''Unity''': Oxygen tank.

to:

-->'''Unity''': Yeah, I eat little old ladies like you for breakfast!
-->'''Paul''':
breakfast!\\
'''Paul''':
I thought you ate steel for breakfast.
-->'''Unity''':
breakfast.\\
'''Unity''':
Oxygen tank.



-->'''Demon:''' I'm going to rip you apart.
-->'''Dies Horribly:''' You've already done that. It didn't work.

to:

-->'''Demon:''' I'm going to rip you apart.
-->'''Dies
apart.\\
'''Dies
Horribly:''' You've already done that. It didn't work.



-->'''Jack:''' Sandra... doesn't it worry you how I'm not worried?
-->'''Sandra:''' No. Because you're an idiot.
-->'''Jack:''' Sure. I'm also Plaid Jack Clarity, the Tartan Sorcerer. Walker in infernal fires, he of the intersecting lines. This is my friend Tomie. [[spoiler:And you're a bad, bad demon.]]

to:

-->'''Jack:''' Sandra... doesn't it worry you how I'm not worried?
-->'''Sandra:'''
worried?\\
'''Sandra:'''
No. Because you're an idiot.
-->'''Jack:'''
idiot.\\
'''Jack:'''
Sure. I'm also Plaid Jack Clarity, the Tartan Sorcerer. Walker in infernal fires, he of the intersecting lines. This is my friend Tomie. [[spoiler:And you're a bad, bad demon.]]
7th Aug '17 2:44:22 PM infernape612
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-->"''I AM THE LEGENDARY WARRIOR!''"

to:

-->"''I --->"''I AM THE LEGENDARY WARRIOR!''"



-->"'' You think I'm afraid of an opponent who can see the future... my opponents have no future!''"

to:

-->"'' You --->"''You think I'm afraid of an opponent who can see the future... my opponents have no future!''"



--> '''Penk:''' "There is nothing that you can build that we will not tear down. There is no land that you can take that we will not reclaim. For my god is a fiery, '''vengeful''' god. It is by '''his''' will that we live to face you again. Pray to your own gods...while you can.

to:

--> ---> '''Penk:''' "There is nothing that you can build that we will not tear down. There is no land that you can take that we will not reclaim. For my god is a fiery, '''vengeful''' god. It is by '''his''' will that we live to face you again. Pray to your own gods...while you can.
28th May '17 9:53:44 PM NXTangl
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** He also has this simple but effective one, delivered by radio ''immediately'' after the enemy Commander sends a tank after him:
-->'''Kevyn:''' Hello, Commander. [[{{Plunder}} I have a tank now.]] It's very shiny, but there's a [[GoryDiscretionShot nasty stain on the upholstery...]]
27th Apr '17 3:24:25 PM LordOfTheSword
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:::And then he shows [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20071203 he wasn't bluffing]].

to:

:::And **And then he shows [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20071203 he wasn't bluffing]].



:::Gil proceeds to go 3 for 3 with this gem when he's [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080305 challenged by one of his father's minions]], indicating that he is MadeOfWin.
::: Then he goes four for four when he [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110815 beats the crap out of Vole, and recruits him as a minion]] for the sole purpose of being TheStarscream ''just to keep himself sharp.''
** His dad gets a minor one [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20030418 here.]] "I will go by myself. Let the people see that I ''can''"

to:

:::Gil **Gil proceeds to go 3 for 3 with this gem when he's [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080305 challenged by one of his father's minions]], indicating that he is MadeOfWin.
::: ** Then he goes four for four when he [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110815 beats the crap out of Vole, and recruits him as a minion]] for the sole purpose of being TheStarscream ''just to keep himself sharp.''
--->'''Gilgamesh:''' We'll make it a ''GAME''. "Who's the '''''SCARIEST MONSTER?'''''"
** His dad gets a minor one [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20030418 here.]] "I will go by myself. Let the people see that I ''can''"''can''."
16th Apr '17 8:54:03 PM darkemyst
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* ''Webcomic/CharbyTheVampirate'': When [[WeirdnessMagnet Zeno]] is freaking out over endangering his newfound friends:
--> '''Charby:''' I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Charby. I'm a ''vampire''. ''I've lived in Kellwood for over 300 years''. I survived getting ''stabbed clean through the chest'' with a sword! I pulled it out and cut the ''other guy's'' head off! Whatever is after you it's ''no challenge'' for me and Menulis.
8th Apr '17 9:26:38 AM nombretomado
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* In a ''Webcomic/VGCats'' [[http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=280 strip]] in which they parody "The Word" section of ''Series/TheColbertReport'': "We didn't spend YEARS as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. We memorized the [[VideoGame/KillerInstinct Ultra Combos]]. We wrote down pages of passwords. WE defeated the [[VideoGame/MegaMan Robot Masters]], [[PunchOut knocked out Tyson]], and SAVED THE FUCKING PRINCESS."

to:

* In a ''Webcomic/VGCats'' [[http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=280 strip]] in which they parody "The Word" section of ''Series/TheColbertReport'': "We didn't spend YEARS as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. We memorized the [[VideoGame/KillerInstinct Ultra Combos]]. We wrote down pages of passwords. WE defeated the [[VideoGame/MegaMan Robot Masters]], [[PunchOut [[VideoGame/PunchOut knocked out Tyson]], and SAVED THE FUCKING PRINCESS."
3rd Apr '17 12:58:06 PM CountDorku
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* ''Webcomic/TheLastDaysOfFOXHOUND'': During a tense standoff, [[TheGunslinger Ocelot]] takes a moment to inform everyone concerned that he could [[BizarreAndImprobableBallistics kill everyone in the room with one bullet]].
25th Mar '17 5:13:40 AM NinjaMango
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* ''{{Webcomic/Lovesyck}}'': Seasoned warrior Gaskar the Guts delivers one about both him and the legendary assassin Carver Stucco to a subordinate of his who insults Carver.
-->'''Gaskar:''' Do you not ''know'' who you're talking to. Are you that ''dense?'' Do you know how many wars I've won, how many people I've killed? Carver Stucco is the ''finest killer'' I have ''ever'' known. Can you dig the implications here? Can you ''imagine'' how many killers I've known? ''Everything'' you've heard about her is true. She's cut down legions. I saw her do it. She's infiltrated Corner Prison and the Holy Royal Sanctum and every impregnable vault from Hubble Palace to Lovelyss Core. She could slice your tits off with a bowling ball and cut you so deep you wouldn't know whether to call for Gawd for come in your pants. She could shit darkness in your soul and make you dream a thousand years of hell in a single second. You can't even ''picture'' that shit. She deserted Hubble. She brought down the ''Inquisition''. And she survived ''me''.
23rd Mar '17 3:51:26 PM caribouchat
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* In ''Webcomic/KiddCommander'', Ulrich Weiss [[http://kiddcommander.com/?comic=page-95 introduces]] himself as a professional. Though it's a short boast, his way of showing off makes it really badass.
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