Markup View

Author: Xzenu

Jun 10th 2011 at 3:31:14 PM

!! What is BDSM?

BDSM is a wide range of consensual activities that are either sexual or indirectly connected to sexuality.

The four letters can be read in two ways. Either as the initialism for Bondage, Dominance-games and [=SadoMasochism=]. Or as being a condensed version of Bondage & Discipline + Dominance & Submission + Sadism & Masochism.

!! What is "Bondage", in this context?

Bondage means tying someone up. Usually with ropes. Can also be with chains or whatever, or putting someone in a cage, or simply forbidding the person to move. The later is sometimes categorized as Discipline.

To be Bondage, it has to be sexual and consensual.

If it is consensual but not sexual, it's just a game or something. If it is neither sexual nor consensual, it's kidnapping. If it's sexual but not consensual, it's kidnapping or sexual assault or both.

!! What is Dominance-games / Dominance & Submission?

An exchange of power: One person choosing to surrender to another by his own free will. Because he want to, not because he has been coerced or extorted in any way. Of course, the surrender only counts if it's accepted by the Dominant.

This dominance & submission can be limited to a single scene, ranging in length between seconds and hours, or be more drawn out. Some people have this kind of dominance dynamics permanently integrated in their relationships. There are three main differences between this and patriarchal gender roles. The first is that BDSM is gender neutral. The Dominant may be male or female, and may be hetero- homo- or bisexual. So may the submissive. The second difference is that they have this dynamic because they ''want'' to and ''choose'' to, not because they have been thought that "it's the way it's supposed to be". The third is that they have detailed options for what parts of their relationship is or isn't included in the dominance. For example, it's very common that the Dominant has no say over the submissive's professional life - especially since many sexual submissives are very dominant career people in their professional lives.

!! What is [=SadoMasochism=] / Sadism & Masochism?

A masochist want to experience pain - of the right kind, from the right person, in the right context. This can take the form of spankings, whippings, hot candle wax, or whatever. If the person who give these experiences is also enjoying the session, then this person is called a "sadist". These people typically combine their sadism with empathy and ethics, and are thus not dangerous or destructive in any way. However, a person who is a sexual sadist ''and'' a psychopath is [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel an entirely different matter]].

Also, note that "BDSM" is a range of "activities", while the title "sadomasochist" is often used about people who are interested in BDSM - including people who doesn't practice. In this sense of the words, Sadomasochism is the interest / desire / preference / orientation (whatever you prefer to call it), while BDSM / Sadism & Masochism is the act that express it.