Reviews: Jurassic Park
Most overated piece of trash I've ever seen
As a kid, I loved JP and it's sequels, but looking back I realised how utterly dull it is. The characters are clichéd archetypes, aside from Hammond (who is a brilliant spin on the mad "scientist", being instead a high visionary rich man; note that this only applies to the movie, however). The plot is a generic and highly predictable narrative laced with disgusting anti-progress and "pseudo-naturalistic" (as in, "appeal to tradition" and "appeal to nature" fallacy ridden rhetorics, ignoring what Naturalism actually is) propaganda. Oh, and have I mentioned those dinosaurs look like shit? The effects are cool, but the designs are horrendous. The "raptors" are mutant zombie monitors that are an utter eyeblight, the Tyrannosaurus looks like it has a box for a skull, and the more aesthetically appealing species like the Brachiosaurus and the Gallimimus are stolen screeen time for those ambulatory shites, and even then their skin looks like blank, no traits beyond colour. Is this really what we're battling for? Do you honestly preffered these utter sores to the sight to bird-like feathered dinosaurs? The second movie is the same, except propaganda takes the front seat and the characters are twicefold stupid, and we lack what little charm the original movie had, as not only the propaganda is constantly on your face, but it overall has a depressing and mean spirited feel to it, like the characters are black holes instead of just card boards. The books are the same, except Hammond is a stereotypical Uncle Scrooge and the "morals" are shoven to your face every two lines, leaving no enjoyment for the reader. The only good thing are the Cearadactylus, because they come close to killing off the protagonists. Finally, we have the third movie. Ironically, it's the best. Yes, it's still stupid beyond belief, but at least it dares to focus more on it's bottomless train wreck of a plot than the "messages". -10000000/10
Jurassic Park (The book)
After a childhood growing up with dinosaurs (not literally) thanks to Jurassic Park, my curiosity led me to purchase the book that started it all. And Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton was a worthwhile read, both despite and because of the differences from the film. Fans of the movie will find themselves first in a strange prologue about InGen's filing for bankruptcy and escaped compys. Right after that the first half of the plot has few surprises and proceeds mostly the same. This may cause a bad case of Get On With It Already, as the "they're making dinosaurs" secret is kept up for much longer. Additionally the identity of Nedry as The Mole is kept secret until halfway through the story, so a nasty case of It Was His Sled will ensue. Despite this, numerous elemental changes have been made that will surprise. Tim and Lex's ages have been reversed, Gennaro is more sympathetic, Grant has a beard and likes kids, Hammond is greedier, there are two t-rexes, only five species have frog DNA, etc. There's also a lot more technical data and chaos theory monologues, which may bore you the first time but be worth a reread later. But these little changes pile up until the second half of the book is nothing like the film's. Malcolm's wound is much more serious and the technicians are scurrying all over trying to figure out what next went wrong. Grant and co must battle through the island. All must flee from the raptors while they struggle to get the power back on, and additionally warn a boat accidentally carrying raptors. The last subplot about finding the raptor nest so they can tell how many escaped sets in Ending Fatigue and comes to nothing as the island gets bombed moments later. Still, this part is more exciting because the odds pile up so much that you can't guess what'll happen next. So which is better? The book closes up more of the film's plot holes and gives much greater detail overall, vs the film where everything broke because of one betrayal. This improves its Aesop about how controlling nature is impossible, because it shows much was breaking already. On the other hand, the movie beats the book on spectacle and wonder. A picture is worth a thousand words, they say, and 5 minutes of watching a T-rex rampage beats reading a rampage by miles. So give them both a try. They complement each other.
GET KILLED ALREADY!
I just watched a marathon of stupid people doing stupid things. I've never watched the movies before, never planned too. But Dinosaurs are cool and I was told they were good. "Let's wear a shirt covered in Baby T-Rex blood! Because I'm an expert on Dinos and should know what to do!" And the people that start screaming when they see the T-Rex in their camp, if it didn't already kill you when you were quiet, what makes you think that it's just going to sit there and listen to you scream like prey? Seriously, didn't they make everyone site down and watch a 'what to do to not get eaten'? Like in Alien V Predator? Was it really "Dino's on the island, here’s a gun, try not and get killed." Highlights: Random Mook: OMG A SNAKE! *walks into the jaws into a T-Rex.* Mrs Kirby: *In a microphone. With Dinosaurs in the surrounding area * BEN? BEN?? BEN! -*Later* Mrs Kirby: ERIC? Mr.Kirby:(getting wise when his wife obviously hasn't) Honey, be quiet. And something else equally stupid my brain has purged to remain sane. The movies would have been awesome if it didn't involve invoking the retardedness inside ever character, really, EVERY. SINGLE. GODDAMNED. PROBLEM was because some idiot didn't listen to someone else, ran off, OR SCREAMED LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL. I was begging for the dinos to eat Amanda Kirby ten minutes in the movie. I know her son's missing but death wish aside... This may seem like a complaint about a ten year movie plot. But ten years ago people weren't that stupid, were they?
Preachy, but awesomeness makes it worth it
I grew up with these movies. JP was the forbidden fruit in the VCR cabinet when I was little, and it was my older cousin's old merchandise that got me interested in dinosaurs. So let me the first fan to admit this: these movies are preachy as hell. This is not Jeff Goldblum's most likeable role. But it is worth it. Why? Alan Grant is one of the best and most memorable examples of an Action Survivor I've seen. And the visuals, even after 18 years, are stunning and memorable. The dinosaurs are delightful, and awesome to watch in action. This, in my opinion, makes it worthe Michael Chrictons endless 'technology will destroy us all' rants.
Jurassic Park. One of the BEST FILMS i have ever seen
I love the JP series. Especially the first one. The only one i hated. (Which is hard for me to hate a JP movie) was JP 3. That movie was awful. But anyways lets get on with the review. Imagine Dinosaurs. Imagine a park with dinosaurs. Now imagine a park break down and dinosaurs run crazy while there are people on the island. You have Jurassic Park! The movie was a smash hit. It was so big it even had a freaking game series which is still continuing. The last one in the game series is Jurassic Park by Telltale Games. Jurassic Park begins with a suttle opening. Workers are putting in what seems like a Raptor into a cage. Thats when all hell breaks loose and one of the workers is eaten. Note that wasn't a spoiler. Its been shown everywhere. I think it was also shown in trailers. Our cast is perfect. 2 Paleontologists who are eager for Dino Bones. A strange man named Ian Malcolm (Played By Jeff Goldblum) and a old man who owns the park named Dr John Hammond (Played by Richard Attenborough) He was shown in both the first and second movies of the series. Anyways we have a short dino cast. The dinosaurs shown in the first movie are A Raptor, Trex, Brachiosaurus, Gallimus, I believe compy's make an appreance and finally a Dilo. The movie begins with the cast entering 2 chevys. Painted in a JP theme which is orange and green. Its basically a ride/tour. Skipping on the cars break down and are stuck at a trex pen. This is where spoilers enter so i can't go as far as from here. All i can say is the Trex breaks out and destroys the cars. But the cast (except for the Lawyer) lives. That was alot to type. But this movie was awesome. Tons of words can make out what i think about this movie. One of them is Awesome and Blockbuster. This movie got tons of positive reviews. Why Not? It was directed by the Movie Mastermind Steven Spielburg. If you haven't seen this movie. Go watch it RIGHT NOW!