Reviews: Commando

This film defines Arnold Schwarzenegger and the entire Action Movie genre

So, the film begins with some people kidnapping John Matrix's daughter or else blah blah blah who cares. John goes and kills everybody until he gets his daughter back. The end.

In the meantime, we have muscles, guns, grenades, muscles, camouflage, muscles, rocket launcher, Arnie in a speedo, a cute girl, muscles.

Anyone who opposes him dies. Anyone who lasts more than two seconds on screen gets a One-Liner from Arnie before they die.

This movie absolutely plays all the tropes of 80's action films straight. And while it is cliche, it pushes every one of these tropes to their logical extreme until it defines the tropes and the genre as a whole. And as such, it becomes a classic.

It is a very pure film. It takes everything that is 80's action and extracts its very essence, cutting away everything extraneous. We don't need plot, we don't need character development. What we need is more flexing, explosions, guns, and one-liners.

And this film delivers.


In my eyes, Commando is the best example of how a movie without character development, a good plot or even contemporary special effects can still end up as one of the most entertaining movies ever conceived by man! Everything about the movie tells you that both the director and Arnold Schwarzenegger knew what they're doing: A badass action flick. It doesn't bother with philosophical concepts or symbolism, it doesn't comment on contemporary issues, it's simply a 90-minute marathon of Arnold Schwarzenegger shoving around cars, shooting the shit out of entire armies of mooks and doing badass stunts like jumping from airplanes. The movie features exploding building, a fight between Arnold Schwarzenegger and what seems to be a retired porn star and some of the corniest lines ever uttered. Commando is one of the manliest, most badass movies ever created, and watching it alone will raise your testosterone level by almost 94%! Seriously, there need to be more movies like this one. Watch this movie. Watch it. Watch it.