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Reviews Film / Johnny Mnemonic

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SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
08/01/2012 15:02:51 •••

Johnny Moronic, More Like It

Early in the film is a moment where Ice-T appears, looking the audience straight in the eye, and refers to everyone as "zombies" and encourages all to "snatch back [their] brain[s]". If an audience were to actually heed his advice, there would be no one left to finish watching this movie.

What an unintentionally hilarious movie like Commando achieves with a lack of Continuity, Johnny Mnemonic achieves much of the same with a lack of a logically coherent plot structure. The movie plays out as if a bundle of science fiction and action movie cliches were assembled together without real rhyme, reason, or consideration for other parts of the same puzzle. The end result is straw capitalist villains with motivations that are counterintuitive to actually making any money, an allied guerilla resistance hiding "like rats in the walls" that actually bunches together in a single group in one major location (making them less of a threat), and an unsympathetic hero who is constantly trying to play both sides in some bizarre scheme that is never properly explained to us (and never makes a lick of sense, anyway).

The problem isn't even the fact that this being a 90's movie means some stuff in the movie about the future is going to feel "out of date" (although much of it does), the problem is that the filmmakers fumble with the whole lot of what they had available and ended up with a faulty story riddled with more holes than an average slice of swiss cheese and a lamebrain hero who can never make the only logical choice he can make for himself until the last possible minute.

If you're into flawed B-movies and crappy sci-fi and the like, then I can certainly guarantee that you'll be in for quite an experience with incessant plot stupidity and the mess of B-list talent that fills out the entire cast. If not, there are far better movies out there for you to take seriously.


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