Reviews Comments: HULK LIKE MOVIE!

The Avengers film/book review by Scardoll

HULK LIKE MOVIE!

HULK IS NOT A MOVIE FAN. LAST TWO HULK MOVIES JUNK, AND MAKE HULK DESTROY THE THEATER! HULK DESTROY MANY THINGS, BUT NOT DESTROY BOX OFFICE! "WHY PEOPLE NO LIKE HULK?" HULK SAYS.

BUT THEN HULK HEAR ABOUT GOOD MOVIE, MADE WITH ALL OF HULK'S FRIENDS! IS WRITTEN BY FUNNY VAMPIRE GIRL MAN. WHEN HULK HEARS ABOUT WRITING, HE WORRIED THAT MOVIE BE LIKE FIRST HULK MOVIE. NOT ENOUGH SMASHING! BUT THIS MOVIE MADE BY SMART MAN. IT HAS SMASHING AND WRITING AT SAME TIME! SO WHEN HULK SMASH PERSON, HULK SAY SOMETHING FUNNY, AND EVERYBODY WINS, ESPECIALLY HULK.

THE BEGINNING IS CONFUSING FOR HULK, WITH LOTS OF WEIRD WORDS THAT MAKE HULK'S HEAD HURT. CONFUSING! BUT THEN MOVIE GETS BETTER, AND HULK ENJOY SEEING NEW BRUCE "RUFFALO"! BETTER THAN OLD BRUCE, BOTH OF THEM! ACTS LIKE HE'S NOT ANGRY, BUT IS FIDGETY AND WEAK, LIKE BANNER REALLY IS (UNTIL HULK HELP HIM!). OTHER HEROES WERE GOOD TOO, BUT NOT AS GOOD AS HULK! METAL MAN IS FUNNY MAN. SHOULD REALLY GET NEW NAME.

VILLAIN LOOKS STUPID, BUT IS THREAT... TO PUNY BANNER! NOT TO HULK, OF COURSE. HORN GOD IS MEANER THAN IN OTHER MOVIE, BUT MAYBE HE JUST GOT SICK OF BEING BLONDIE'S PUNCHING BAG? THERE IS ALSO ALIEN VILLAIN THAT LOOK LIKE BUGS. KINDA BORING AND GREY, BUT HULK ENJOY SMASHING THEM AND THEIR PET DOLPHINS! EVEN HULK FIGHTS WITH OTHER HEROES ARE FUN, ALTHOUGH MOVIE LIES, BECAUSE HULK SHOULD ALWAYS WIN! THERE IS ALSO A BIG, COOL THING AFTER CREDITS, BUT HULK HATE GETTING MOVIES RUINED, SO HE WON'T TELL YOU!

HULK LIKE THE PRETTY PICTURES. HULK KNOWS THEY DON'T LOOK REAL, NOT LIKE SOME MOVIES, BUT HE STILL LIKES THEM; THEY LOOK LIKE HULK COMIC BOOKS! VIDEO IS STRONG AND DOESN'T SHAKE, JUST LIKE HULK! SHAKY CAM IS FOR REPORTERS LOOKING AT HULK! HULK DID NOT LIKE THE GLASSES HE WAS GIVEN, AND WISHED HE HADN'T WATCHED MOVIE WITH GLASSES. GLASSES REMIND HULK OF BANNER!

HULK GIVES MOVIE TEN OUT OF TEN! HULK NOW GO SMASH OTHER CRITICS ON THIS PAGE, BECAUSE THEY JUST MAKE HULK ANGRY, AND YOU WOULDN'T LIKE HULK WHEN HE'S ANGRY! HULK SMASH!

Note to any other reviewers: I am not actually a giant green monster hell-bent on hunting you down and crushing you for an internet review. At least, I'm not a giant green monster.

Thumbs up for style. Hulk's got taste.

comment #14188 Flayer 6th May 12

comment #14191 Tomwithnonumbers 6th May 12

Hey Hulk! Nice to talk to you!

I have to admit, I didn't really care for Whedon's writing of the script; I would have preferred he just be director. But hey, rather him than Chuck Austen, right?

The movie wasn't horrible, but I thought it could have been better at some parts. However, I thought that you/Dr. Banner were one of the best-written characters there, and Dr. Banner was rather charming with his geek glasses. And it was nice that he was averting Reed Richards Is Useless by using his medical knowledge to help people who needed it. I thought that was a nice touch.

Also, you didn't like the space dolphins, but do you like regular dolphins? Inquiring minds are curious.

Considering that in the comics the Marvel citizens are primarily ungrateful jackasses, I was pleasantly surprised to see that in the movie, they were genuinely grateful. Good thing Sally Floyd didn't make an appearance . . .

comment #14194 CasualBanshee 6th May 12

Better review of Avengers yet.

comment #14204 Sligh 6th May 12 (edited by: Wackd)

I love this review. So, so much.

comment #14207 AllsparkSpinOut 6th May 12

I'm amazed the Hulk managed to write any of this without smashing the keyboard. I'm amazed he managed to press any of the keys individually at all. Bravo, Sir Hulk. I shall follow your critiques. May your two fists become as renown as Roger Ebert's two thumbs.

comment #14209 Tuckerscreator 6th May 12

Is Hulk here related to Hulk of Baddass Digest?

comment #14228 morninglight 8th May 12

oh god, my sides. they hurt from reading this review

comment #14233 Spychan 8th May 12

Hulk uses voice-recognition software like every good superhero should.

Alos, great review : D

comment #14235 SpicySomething 8th May 12

I applaud you, my good sir, for creating a review funny enough to deserve The Avengers.

comment #14252 FantasyGirlForever 9th May 12

Hulk write review quite well. Hulk very amusing and informative.

comment #14253 TeraChimera 9th May 12

Why, friends, I do believe our giant green friend gets this movie.

A giant green monocle for you, my good fellow.

comment #14290 Zaptech 12th May 12

This is the funniest think I have read on this site, and that's saying a lot. More power to you, Hulk!

comment #14362 Trivia 19th May 12

Oh God I can't stop reading it.

comment #14363 erttheking35 19th May 12

I love you. This was so freakin' epic. You said everything I wanted to say, but way better than I could ever begin to. Awesome. You rock, in every way possible.

comment #14380 RockLeeYourFace 21st May 12

Haha! This was awesome. Was anyone else shouting in their head as they read this?