Reviews Film / X Men Days Of Future Past

A sequel-prequel-reboot mish mash

This month, for all the X-Men fans that love the hyper-complex wacky time-travel comic book crossovers that only a detective can understand, comes a movie just for you: a sequel-prequel-reboot mish mash. Meet all the characters you have seen so far, in a story that mixes all their individual films timelines, and ultimately renders all of them obsolete... just like Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Behold an apocalyptic world, where Skynet is sending wave after wave of killing robots against all humanity just for kicks. Find out that, once again, circumstances force Wolverine to be the main character of the story, stealing the sportlight from Kitty Pryde. But hey, at least she had her revenge: she made him wake up right after having sex, instead of five minutes earlier. See Wolverine sent into another apocalyptic world, where Nixon is sending wave after wave of killing troopers against Vietnam just for kicks.

Watch yet another Wolverine movie with X-Men around him, an immortal man whose healing power prevents him from aging, but who inexplicably has his hair greying at the temples. He will meet the younger Charles Xavier, who will give him classes of being a jerkass. Without his mutant powers, they will get the help of Hulk Mc Coy and Peter Maximoff, who somehow escaped from the prison of Baron Von Strucker. Toguether they will take Magneto out of his prison... and by "toguether" we mean "Peter does everything". Follow them as Wolverine tells them that a political assasination made by Mystique convinced everybody that mutants are dangerous, which unleashes a dark and terrible future... and, to prevent this future, Magneto will out several mutants at the Paris Peace Accords, levitate a whole stadium across the Washington state, throw it around the White House, capture the president and have him beneath his boot. Way to go, Mags! Even your master plan in X3 made more sense than this! Pity the X-Men of the future, finally captured and brutally killed by the Sentinels; only that history was changed afterwards, so their deaths are just cheap drama.

Starring: a nude time-traveler. A nude blue terrorist mutant. Magneto the Grey. The head of Richard Nixon, along with his body. Hulk Mc Coy. Papa smurf. And... wheels!

So... the pyramids were built by a mutant? I knew it! Insane theories, one; regular theories, a billion.