What An Idiot: Rudolf Wernicke decides the best way to deal with Miles is to kill him. Seems reasonable until you realize that, A. Miles is the only one who saw Billy Hope die; B. the Walrider lives by using human bodies as hosts; C. the Walrider is smart enough to reason for itself and knows it's survival is entirely dependent on Billy's life; D. the Walrider needs psychologically tortured individuals to be its host and Miles most certainly counts in that regard; E. the Walrider has an easier time infecting people who had the Morphogenic Engine inflicted upon them which was playing constantly in Billy's chamber and that Miles most certainly had time to look at; F. the scientific method would indicate that in a situation where Miles stops the Walrider, that Miles would be considered a "control" to Billy's "experimental" group (in short, killing him before asking questions and getting results is a very BAD idea); and G. the Walrider HATES HATES HATES BEING SHOT AT! In the however extremely unlikely event that the Walrider is still alive, trying to kill the only witness to the event was very, very, very short-sighted of Rudolf. He kind of deserved that Laser-Guided Karma.
There are plenty of issues with it as written. First thing, the writing of it is terrible. Too much repetition, all caps, it's too long and descends into natter. Second, there is a lot of speculation in it's six points. We don't know much about the Walrider, it's sentience, it's ability to posses hosts and the limitations of that. We also don't know much about the Morphogenic Engine and it's effects on people outside those pods. And finally, we don't actually know that Rudolf gave the order, since Whistleblower showed that the company itself is happy to mop up witnesses on it's own.
If someone is happy to rewrite the example so it's shorter, more precise, less Word Cruft-y and less speculation that'd be great, but there is just too much wrong with this one, even for a YMMV page.
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There are plenty of issues with it as written. First thing, the writing of it is terrible. Too much repetition, all caps, it's too long and descends into natter. Second, there is a lot of speculation in it's six points. We don't know much about the Walrider, it's sentience, it's ability to posses hosts and the limitations of that. We also don't know much about the Morphogenic Engine and it's effects on people outside those pods. And finally, we don't actually know that Rudolf gave the order, since Whistleblower showed that the company itself is happy to mop up witnesses on it's own.
If someone is happy to rewrite the example so it's shorter, more precise, less Word Cruft-y and less speculation that'd be great, but there is just too much wrong with this one, even for a YMMV page.
Edited by 27.33.67.126