I'd chalk it up to Translation Convention. Do you think the Japanese dubbers for Star Wars used the exact grammar that was present in the English version for Yoda's speech?
No, but didn't the author make a point in there somewhere about how he was getting the literal translation, and so he had to work to speak properly? Because doing a babelfish word-for-word translation would not give this result- it's a total misuse of Japanese grammar.
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Author here...
- Watches everyone jump ten feet in the air...*
Yeah well anyway. As the 'Author Avatar' bit mentions. This is templated directly off myself. (As nobody knows you better than yourself.) As such, it does leave a problem as to how I can accurately express my (Lack of) understanding Japanese without, well, learning it on the fly. (Which then makes it so I know Japanese and messes up the template of 'not' knowing Japanese and [DIVIDE BY ZERO ERROR] ) And of all the research subjects, it would indeed be THE most complicated mess of all. Or maybe I'm just procrastinating.
Now, since I'm thinking about it... *Rummages around.* I actually do have a pair of Quick Study laminated cards I picked up from Fry's months ago that have been collecting dust. (And looking at them now, they do have the correct speach stuff on them.) It's a wonder I never bothered with them, but then I was working on a predisposition of the language from what my Father had explained to me a couple times. (He spent some Navy stationing time in Okinawa.) That's where I got the Subject/Verb swap from. I guess I'll have to call him up and give him a swat for misremembering his experience on the subject. You know how that kind of thing works. Just when you think you have it right... You don't.
Either way. I should be able to simply repair my damage and rewrite the facts as needed. Plus rub off the yoda speak as 'scrambled braincells'. (Remember, this is 'from perspective'.)
I'll put it on my list of minor things to fix. In fact, I'll put it priority before I start chapter fourteen that way nobody gets their heckles in a raise. (Otherwise it'll never get done. My procrastination powers are unparalelled.)
Remember: The Author is Watching. (And I don't need any firefights over details.) If you want to put 'Word of God' admits he made a mistake and aims to correct it in a sub-note until I'm done. Do so. (I'm not 'known' and I don't intend to. Keeps me from editing the tropes which would poison the page.)
Convenient having absolute powers over your character's reality, eh?
I personally thought it highly detracted from the story, not just because of the improper Japanese, but because having to puzzle out what was said was irritating. I'd have gone for Translation Convention and just had him pick it up instantly, but that's just me.
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Author Here: It was annoying to write too, but I didn't want to simply cotninue to write two chapters where I was constantly going "I couldn't figure out what was said" non stop... (It was past being old, and I was running out of creative ways to comment on unintelligable conversation.) And I didn't want to go with 'suddenly, It all makes sense...'
Anyway, I've been reading over the chapters... and rather than rewriting all the dialogue, I'll leave it in place, and fix that core exposition paragraph in chapter five up a pinch so that what you read is how I am understanding it directly. (Not correctly... Just, what I'm 'hearing'.) I'll also fix the fact details I commented on as well.
After chapter six, it goes away completely as my mind 'fully integrates' verbal Japanese skills and Translation Convention takes over.
Alright, here's my (two-month) experience with Japanese explaining why this dude's Japanese is bull.
Let's take an example I gleaned just before I couldn't take it anymore:
"Fight bad I do." (Ch. 6)
Now, in Japanese, the grammar rules, as near as I know them, are fairly loose. However, the author has the wrong end of the stick. The basics are that the subject always comes first, and the verb always comes last, with the predicate sandwiched in the middle kind of willy-nilly.
So, to say the above, as near as I can tell, it would be something of the lines of "I bad fighter am" Note that I'm too lazy to look up what "bad fighter" is in Japanese. To take an example I actually know, let's go with "I am American". English has it subject-verb-predicate. In Japanese, that's "Watashi wa Amerikajin desu", literally "I [wa] American am". The "wa" serves to designate the subject is ending- those types of particles (for example, "O" is used after nouns and before verbs to indicate a direct object- "I eat rice" would be "Watashi wa gohan o tabemasu") crop up in pretty much every sentence.
TL,DR: Japanese grammar doesn't work by inverting the verb and noun. The verb pretty much always comes last, as near as I know.
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