Romance

Keep your head up. Be friends with her. Even if you drift away, its OK. You move on. You'll be OK.

Okay, so I might be heading off to Oceanside (which I've never been to) sometime next week/week after next with some family, and I feel like that might be the perfect opportunity to meet other people, though trying to talk to strangers intimidates me because I'm kind of an extreme introvert and I'm quite sensitive. That and I don't wanna come off as creepy, either, because of how awkward I am. Also I'm worried that I might run into the wrong people as well, if you know what I mean.

However, I'm thinking about maybe working out a bit more in the meantime to make myself look a bit more... attractive, so to speak. And I also want to bring or wear something that would hint at some of my interests in hopes of catching the attention of someone who shares the same interests, but I do not know how to do that well.

It's natural to go to a place you've never been and be nervous. Everyone is. Even the extroverts are nervous but they don't show it. Let the conversations happen naturally. Everyone has negative feelings about themselves, so you're not the only one. Everyone is there for their objective and more. If you run into the wrong people, your gut feeling will tell you and you can move on to the ones who are right for you. Maybe fellow introverts who understand how you feel, or maybe an extrovert who would take you to different places but at the same time, give you space. As long as you're both comfortable, you'll be in a good circle.

As for standing out in terms of clothing, keep it casual. What I've noticed is that people who want to stand out dress in a casual manner. That doesn't mean wearing pjs but more laid back, like a nice t-shirt and new jeans and running shoes. I'm sure people are wary about what they wear so they are wondering the exact same thing. Just keep in mind that it has to be a bit tasteful for going on and meeting people. Eventually you could work your way to wear shirts with your favorite cartoon, or band, or musician on it so then someone would look to it and have a conversation with you and, who knows, you may find some other things in common.

You don't have to be the center of attention by screaming out loud and being the life of the party. Just let things come naturally and things will be fine.

Ooof, asked a woman I had and have a huge crush on, and I got the "let's just be friends" reply. I started the romance game late, and I never learned to cope with rejection, and I normally behave with such equanimity IRL that opening myself up like this is making me subject to a hurricane of emotions entirely foreign to me.

It's a new experience in terms of you having these feelings. Everyone is rejected, not everyone is going to say yes every single time. Let these feelings swim around for a bit, just don't let it take over, don't let it consume you, don't let it be the reason as to why you don't take risks. Go through that sadness and try again with a different person.

As for being late in the dating game, no one is ever late. It just takes a little while for some people and thats fine. Go at your own pace. Everyone starts out a rookie, no one instantly goes to being an expert.

So, um...REALLY weird story about what happened to me last night. Also a warning to those of you who find yourself in a similar situation.

I met this girl on POF last night. I looked at her profile and liked what I saw, so I sent her a message. And she actually replied — she said "That's what I like to hear!" She then asked me if I had Kik installed on my phone. I said no, but I would get on that right away.

When I finished installing Kik, we started chatting.

And the first thing she said was "Send me a tribute." I could not possibly make this up. She said that I would have to send her money before she'd agree to meet in person.

Now I might be suceptible to a woman's charm, if you catch my drift, but I'm not THAT easily duped. If your potential sig-o can't even be bothered to meet face-to-face before they make you open your wallet, well, I don't care how hot they are —THEY AIN'T WORTH IT.

I'm terribly sorry to hear that. :(

Thanks. I'm okay...just thought I'd share it

I've only ever seen Kik used by people looking for either money or explicit photos.

I'm in the weird position of having a guy who knew my girlfriend before me and was turned down by her before I met her as my coworker now.

Okay, so I changed my mind about going over to Oceanside because I was told there wouldn't be much in terms of socializing there. However I got myself two stickers that hint at my preferences (bi and poly) to put them somewhere on my drawing journal because I kinda want to keep that as an "open secret" if you know what I mean. I am still planning on other ways to meet new people, though.

However, I am also starting to question myself about if I really do want a relationship or if I really am worthy of one.

So I came to a realization a while ago: I eventually want to be married to someone, but I don't want to live in the same house. Just having a "man cave" isn't enough for me.

You'll find someone. It just takes time. It means you're growing as a person and you want something more. Don't let go of that thought.

Sorry if this is late.

So, how long should I wait to ask out a girl who recently became single again?

All I can say is that in high school, I liked a girl who was always either with one of two guys or proclaiming that she was happy being single, so I never asked her out.

OK, I don't want to be "that guy", but does no one else have anything to say?

I think you should wait a few weeks until you ask her out. Give her time to get over the breakup.

• Sigh* Never mind. >:(

Are you OK?

Well, she went back to her ex, (either that or they never broke up in the first place despite her seemingly claiming the contrary) so "eh". I guess I'm doing better now, but still.

Oh dear. I'm sorry about that.

I hope you know that you're never alone. Even if you aren't seeing anyone, you'll find someone. It may hurt a bit, or a lot, but that pain goes away. A lot of us knows how it feels, how tiring it feels but you'll find someone. You will be ok.

Well, I asked my crush if she wanted to go to the movies with me sometime. She thought I was asking her out on a date, which I wasn't. I've asked her out before and I agreed to just be friends with her. I was thinking to go as friends and told her that. She said she'd like to, but she's really busy and has to find the time. Of course, I still have a fucking crush on her, even though I should let it go. I just had to fall for the girl who immediately friend zones guys. It's a little bit frustrating.

Honestly, MAYBE let it go.

These feelings can get in the way of a friendship and that will hurt both of you in the end. It hurts now but it's something to grow on. You'll find someone, they'll find someone. It's about space. They may be looking at this situation in a different and they need their space. You'll learn to move on. It's going to be ok. It takes time.

Yeah, I probably should just let it go by now. I'm happy to be friends with her at least.

Just do what you need to do to make yourself happy. Find yours.

Sometimes I'm not sure if I really do want to be in a relationship or if I'm really just wanting to satisfy my hypersexual tendencies and convince myself that I want to be in a relationship. In fact, I don't feel worthy enough to be with someone, let alone a woman. Oddly enough, I do find myself romanticizing the idea of being in a threesome, which feels unhealthy to me. Maybe I'm just scared of making such decisions that could possibly last my entire life or my own commitment issues, as well as any, and I hate this word, drama that I fear might happen throughout. I also get the feeling that my standards are a little too high at times. I sometimes feel overwhelmed just thinking about it all.

In terms of meeting new people, I want to try online dating again but it tends to be a crapshoot for me, and I barely had success with that, but on the other hand, there's barely anything to do over where I live, so I don't know where to start looking to meet people. I've planned to travel sometime in the future as well, but that's a very long shot.