Romance

I think my coworker might be trying to set me up with his (also coworker) gf's friend who is is a tabletop rpg gamer. I'm kinda hoping this happens, because apparently said friend "hacked" the coworker's phone and posted pics and my god...

Goddammit, now that I'm attracted I get a -4 to all Talk rolls.

level up and put all the points into charisma

or get a good cowl to equip

Or... both coworkers could talk me up. Give me an intro.

Gotta remember, can't be drunk for this. As much as I want to, can't be drunk.

Still, worst case scenario I get another friend.

I have no idea what happened but I just got asked out on a date. What.

A movie date too!

I'm already crushing on like a couple other guys. This was unexpected...

edited 5th Dec '15 3:20:35 PM by electronic-tragedy

mild to moderately creeped out by stealing other people's pictures is that just me

Congratulations.

Huh?

The thing about the date is that it’s a guy I consider a friend more than anything. I'm conflicted and feeling like “nope”, but I guess i’ll go on it and see how I feel then. But I’ll just be like, “hey that was cool, but can we just be friends?” I mean… I think I’m getting signals that he’s interested in me, but I really don’t feel it.

I don't wanna "friendzone" but. Maybe I'll just tell him upfront.

If he said "date", that's a pretty big sign.

Yeah, the fact that he literally went out of his way to ask you out means he's most likely interested in you. It's even one of those ISO standard movie-night dates. Guys don't typically ask girls out to do stuff like that unless they hope to get something out of it.

It's very safe to assume that he's interested. Act on that assumption however you will.

I always have this weird paradoxical feeling when I get sick. On one hand, I wish I had a beautiful woman with me so I could feel better sooner. :) <3 On the other hand, though, I don't want to give her my germs. x_x

i feel like telling him that you're not interested upfront would be better for him so he doesn't get his hopes up and then disappointed when you tell him you're not into him, but do as you will.

Yeah, that's what I would recommend, too.

I told him he's too young for me (he's 15, I'm 17) and I said I'm cool with being friends, but the movie thing is still up for grabs. He seemed to understand that and we're making plans for a movie screening after finals.

I made a sigh of relief there. I figured it would be a good idea to tell him out of it upfront, but still keep a friendship.

Yeah, I can assure you that thinking for a while that you have a chance with someone and being let down is a lot worse than them telling you upfront that it won't work.

i would hope that he understands; some people think they can "win you over", and to be fair that does SOMETIMES happen but is still not a very good way of approaching these things. of course, if that ends up being the case that is not your fault in any way, so I wouldn't worry about it.

So is using the wording "hanging out" a different vibe altogether?

Well, hanging out is usually what you do with friends.

You can do that with someone you're interested in, but it's usually more casual than a date.

At least, that's how I see it.

If I'm wrong, feel free to ignore me.

I admit, i prefer casually seeing how we get along these days before actual dates

I see hanging out as something you do with anyone, regardless of romantic interests.

Unrequited love is just the worst.

I know it's bad, I know it's stupid, I know it's hopeless. But I just can't stop loving her. I told her I wanted to move on, but I can't. I tried to kill my feelings, bastards just won't go away. I can't rid her out of my mind, and it's still hurting me everyday.

I really have no idea what to do any more.

i sympathize.

My current issue is a bit different in the sense that I feel like I haven't fully moved on from a prior relationship. I used to think about it pretty much every day since it ended, and it honestly hurt a lot. It's actually been over a year since it happened and the memory is getting more and more distant though. I find that it bothers me less now and I find myself revisiting those memories less often and with less emotional intensity than before. I honestly have a lot of trouble letting things go and actually moving on, but I want to hope that things can eventually be ok.

i'm hardly an expert on things like this, so take this with a grain of salt, but I feel like trying to stifle and deny your feelings on this matter won't help you. I feel like the healthiest thing to do in this situation is simply to ride it out. There's simply a time in life where people need to mourn, whether it be for something they lost or something they won't ever have. It sounds super corny, but it's true. When in the face of an unrequited love, you should obviously try to move on from it eventually, but it's natural and healthy to be sad about it for a while, especially depending on the circumstances. the one thing you SHOULDN'T do is repress your emotions and desires.

if you aren't doing so already and can do so, i would suggest cutting contact with this person and removing anything that might remind you of them even slightly. It helps a lot with the grieving process.

edited 6th Dec '15 11:00:39 PM by wehrmacht

Yep, that's exactly what I've been trying to do for the last two months. I think my problem is this: even though I told her we should cut contact, it was more for her sake than for my own. Because deep down inside, I really don't want to move on since I feel like I still have a chance with her.

See, I have been struggling with severe depression for quite a while now. And this girl, whom I consider my best friend, was there for me while I was possibly at my lowest (which was just after my first suicide attempt). She was keeping me on my feet, and during that time, the only real emotion I could feel was my love for her.

But I knew my feelings was not going to be reciprocated, since she's already in a relationship. Having her by my side made me happy, but it was also bringing me pain, and I felt like our friendship had been suffering because of my conditions and my increasingly intense feelings for her.

Around 2 months ago, I decided to take a break from university due to health problems(and I also wanted to go and visit my family for a while), we met up and I told her perhaps we should not be friends, at least for the time being, due to all the reasons I listed above. I promised her we would be friends again once I've gotten myself wholly better, and she made me promise not to engage in any self-destructive behaviours. I'd never want to let her down, so I've been keeping on my words. So many times I wanted to give up, but thoughts of her has been keeping me going.

edited 7th Dec '15 3:54:24 AM by Nightwire

I think that the mass media has twisted love into horrible, malformed beast. They try and take what is in reality a complex and multi-layered emotion and compress it down to just feeling sexual attractions to a member of the opposite sex based purely on looks. And this annoys me to no end. Love is more than looks.

i think the narrow standard of beauty promoted by media is a valid criticism, though my personal main beef is that it makes relationships seem much more commonplace than they actually are, and helps sell a lot of bullshit expectations like "You must lose your virginity by your 20's" or "you need someone to be complete/fix your problems for you", both of which are stupid.

edited 7th Dec '15 1:20:37 PM by wehrmacht