We try to kill SCP-682

Result: 682 was petrified at first, but adapted to become a creature made completely of stone.

"Mother pus buckets. What do we have to do to kill this guy?"- Dr. Gold.

Test: Pit 682 against Ballos.

Result: 682 ate Ballos in its first form. Test: Pit 682 against Gipsy Danger.

Result: failure. 682 simply grew in size until he was categorized as a class 10 kaiju and was able to simply eat Gipsy Danger, along with it's pilots.

"Great. Now we owe the government several billion dollars."- Dr. Gold.

Test: Absorb 682's soul.

Result: As soon as its soul left its body, SCP-682 withered away, and then the one who absorbed the soul was forcefully and painfully transformed into SCP-682.

Dr. Gold - Add life insurance to the expenses. [sighs] Jesus Christ...

Test: Toss it into the Eternal Pit of Fire mentioned at the end of Revalations.

now i know i should have used striker eureka...

Note from Dr. Clef: We should try to find some way to disable 682’s rapid cell division.

Result: Failed. 682 gained a short-lived immunity to flames, then developed wings to fly out of the pit. Test: Try the 239 Mortus spell test again, then kill the mouse.

Result: 682 went into a fit of rage, and breached containment. However, after killing [REDACTED] D-Class personnel, he seemed to return to normal.

Test: Make him play Touhou on the hardest difficulty.

Result: 682 ate the games console. Test: Stab it with SCP-1023-ARC.

Result: cancelled.

"It was destroyed. Look up the file."- Dr. Gold

Test: Make Optimus Prime rip his face off with an ax while yelling: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!". Also have Chuck Norris roundhouse-kick 682 into oblivion, and have Morgan Freeman narrate the test.

edited 22nd Jan '15 1:32:57 PM by CapitalistSocialist

Result: 682 ate Optimus Prime, gained an immunity to roundhouse kicks, and sent Morgan Freeman running for the hills. Test: Fire a laser into its heart.

Result: It does nothing; the laser's energy is merely absorbed into it.

Test: Pit it against a full Disgaea party all at Lv. 9999.

Result: Turns out 682 is at level 99999999999999999999999999^50.

Test: FUGGIT obtain this and use it

Result: failure. SCP-682 is unaffected by the aging process.

Test: pit SCP-682 against Ben Tennyson with master control enabled ultimatrix, gwen with all 5 charms of bezel boosted with keystone of bezel, charmcaster with alpha rune, ultimate kevin and golden darkstar.

Result: Failure. SCP-682 proved to not only be immune to magic, but also capable of adapting to combat every alien form Ben could take. While Golden Darkstar did manage to cause SCP-682 some pain, it did not prove fatal, or even crippling.

"Well, that was an utter waste of time." -Agent [REDACTED]

Test: Introduce SCP-682 to Agent [REDACTED], hopefully having the two fight.

"You guys are utter [REDACTED]. I guess I have to do this now, thanks to you [REDACTED] idiots. You people know damn well that I can only do so much as [REDACTED]." -Agent [REDACTED]

Result: Agent [REDACTED] was unable to harm 682. He was able to escape with minor injuries, however.

Test: make 682 fail a saving 3 saving throws after falling unconscious due to having 0 hitpoints left.

Result: Failure, he didn't fail the saving throw. Also no one knows how to get him to 0 hp.

Test: let him eat cake

Result: Well that was a waste of perfectly good cake.

"I kinda wanted that cake. I think Knowage should be demoted to D-Class Immediately.

Test: subject him to a cheeseburger apocalypse.

Result: 682 simply ate all of the burgers.

Test: Pit 682 against the Godmodder.

Result: Success - 682 destroyed the Godmodder.

"Except we're trying to kill 682 here" - Doctor [Redacted]. ... result amended to failure.

Test: Shunt 682 into the Second War in Heaven, and make the damn lizard either the problem of the Time Lords, Faction Paradox or The Enemy.

edited 2nd Feb '15 1:23:53 PM by XadhoomXado

Denied. The risk of SCP-682 achieving reality warping abilities is too high.

Test: Use Omnilock on 682 to possess him.

Result: 682 resisted the mind control. Test: Shove 682 into 087, then destroy the door. Notes: Hey, even if this doesn’t work, it’ll probably eat 087-1. -Agent Yoric

Result: Failure. The door could not be destroyed before SCP-682 escaped, killing ███ D-class personnel before being re-contained.

"Really?" -Agent [REDACTED]

Test: Force SCP-682 into a vehicle, then have Dr. Gerald drive the vehicle.

"Don't get your hopes up. Gerald might be destructive, given the right tools, but there's no guarantee that whatever you've got him to drive would stay intact long enough." -Agent [REDACTED]

Result: It stayed intact for about 3.141592 seconds. Dr. Gerald fortunately made it out alive.

Test: Throw SCP-682 into The Quiet.

Result: 682 utterly wrecked the Quiet.

Test: Lock 682 in a room with SCP-735.

edited 4th Feb '15 11:52:11 PM by IchigoMontoya

Denied. Angering SCP-682 is not advised. Worse, if SCP-682 duplicates SCP-735's power, we're all [EXPLETIVE].

Test: Bury SCP-682 alive in molten lead, coated with Telekill alloy.